Note: The bits in white are by Richard Curtis himself.
Other Bits and Other Pieces

I started writing this film six weeks after my daughter was born, and the film is going to be released on her fourth birthday. So, you'd sort of hope there'd be some re-writes somewhere, just to fill the time. And there have been. I've put together some of the scenes that, for various reasons, went before the movie was shot - and then some others that we shot, but then perished in the pitched battle that drove this film down from the three and a half hours first cut to its still quite long two hours.

This was the original opening of the movie. It was meant to introduce all the friends and relatives. In the end, however, we decided just to conecentate on William at the beginning, and this fell by the wayside. But when Hugh and Julia accepted the film, these were the first scenes they read.

In the dark - a voice has begun...
WILLIAM (v/o)
It was spring. My friend Tony was opening a restaurant in Notting Hill. He'd been a waiter for twenty years - and this was the day he broke free.

EXT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. NIGHT.

The outside of the restaurant - 'Tony's Joint'. Tony welcoming guests. He radiates a simple, enthusiastic joy. There's a hugely noisy and friendly atmosphere inside. It feels like a success.

WILLIAM (v/o)
It was a no-fail proposition, in the heart of Notting Hill, and all his friends were there...

INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. NIGHT.
Cut to a table of William and his group of friends. They are definitively relaxed with each other.

MAX
So if you could sleep with anyone in the world, who would you choose? Bernie?
BERNIE
Ahm....gosh...well, the Queen, I suppose.
MAX
The Queen?
BERNIE
Yes. I mean, I wouldn't enjoy it or anything - but afterwards, you could say, you know, I've had the Queen - and that's got to be pretty....impressive.
MAX
What about you, Honey?
HONEY
Let's see...
BERNIE
Actually, on second thoughts, I think maybe the Queen Mum.
BELLA
Oh shut up, Bernie.
BERNIE
I mean, anyone can say they've had sex with the Queen - but her mother!
HONEY
I think it has to be Brad Pitt - with Mel Gibson's bottom.
WILLIAM
What's wrong with Brad's bottom?
HONEY
I just haven't seen it enough, that's all. Whereas Mel's always been splendidly forthcoming with his little bottie.
MAX
Fair enough. Bella?
BELLA
I sleep with the man I most want to sleep with every night. (meaning Max)

HONEY

Boo!

WILLIAM

Yes, that is pretty sickly.

BELLA

There speaks an embittered divorcee.

We cut away to Tony for a moment, who gestures at the throbbing crowd at the bar and gives them all a huge thumbs up. His big night and it's going well.

MAX

So what about you, Will? Who's your girl of girls?

WILLIAM

Do you know I've never thought about it.

HONEY

That's hurtful. What about me?

WILLIAM

You're my sister.

HONEY

Doesn't mean we don't have great sex.

MAX

Be that as it may. We're talking about famous people. I'll give you twenty seconds to make up your mind.

Meanwhile, Bernie's worried.

BERNIE (to Honey)

That's not true about you and William and having...?

HONEY

Don't be silly. The odd blow job, but we'd never actually do it.

BERNIE

Oh fine.

MAX

So, who's it to be?

WILLIAM

Seriously, there are no famous people on my list. It's all in the lighting. Up close, Cindy Crawford looks exactly like my dad.

HONEY

Oh, come on, Will, this is pathetic. It is so obvious.

WILLIAM

Who?

HONEY

The most beautiful woman in the world, as well as my favourite actress.

BERNIE

Pamela Anderson?

BELLA

Bernie.

BERNIE

Well, she may not be that beautiful - but she's a brilliant actress.

MAX

Come on, spit it out.

HONEY

Anna Scott - so clear-cut, so far in the lead.


Pause. The camera concentrates on William.

WILLIAM

Yes - well, you have a point - she is fairly fabulous...

HONEY

She's paradise in pants. Now be honest with me - do I look anything like her - I mean anything at all like her?

They all look at her. Pause.

MAX

You both have ears.



This scene was supposed to occur right after Anna says, "Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."
Spike enters with three pizzas.

SPIKE

Voila. Carnival Calypso, for the Queen of Notting Hill - pepperoni, pineapple and a little more pepperoni.

ANNA

Fantastic.

WILLIAM

I didn't mention that Anna's a vegetarian, did I?

SPIKE

(pause) I have some parsnip stew from last week. If I just peel the skin off, it'll be perfect.

The following scene was supposed to take place after Will overhears Anna dismissing him off as a nobody at the place of her filming.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM. EVENING.

William is emptying Anna Scott videos into a box.

SPIKE

What's going on?

WILLIAM

I'm going to throw out these old videos.

SPIKE

No. You can't bin these. They're classics. I'm not allowing this.

WILLIAM

Right - let's talk about rent...

SPIKE

Let me help. We don't want all this shit cluttering up our lives.




After we'd cut that scene, this next one became the friends' first scene, fitting in after William and Anna's kiss in the corridor. We shot it - but in the end decided that it was more fun to meet them all the first time Anna meets them, at the birthday party. It also includes the first mention of Max and Bella not being able to have a baby - which, I can't deny, does rather leap out of nowhere in the film as it now stands. The price you pay.

INT. TONY'S RESTAURANT. DAY.

William enters. Inside it is very full - with a bright, successful, hot feel to it. William approaches a table of friends.

WILLIAM

Right - so - can you all keep a secret?

MAX

Definitely.

HONEY

Definitely.

BERNIE

Definitely not.

BELLA

Bernie!

BERNIE

I hear so many things during the day, I find it impossible to remember which one was the secret one.

WILLIAM

He's right. No-one can keep a secret.

HONEY

This is so unfair!

WILLIAM

And I was only joking anyway - as you well know, I don't have any secrets.

MAX

What about that girl in Crete?

BELLA

What girl in Crete?

WILLIAM

There was no girl in Crete - I have never actually been to Crete.

MAX

Apart from the time you went to Crete on holiday.

WILLIAM

Apart from that time.

BELLA

When there was apparently some incident with a girl.

WILLIAM

Everyone makes one mistake in their lives.

BERNIE

So is your s the one with the girl in Crete, or the business with you and that boy at school?

WILLIAM

Right - change the subject - Bernie - how's work?

BERNIE

Splendid thanks. Still wearing the suit and not having any idea what the hell is going on.

WILLIAM

Excellent. Max, Belle - any news on the kids front? We hopeful godparents are getting seriously impatient.

BELLA

Well, truth is, it's not as easy as it seems.

WILLIAM

What's that?

BELLA

Having children. Getting pregnant.

She's dealing here with something that is terribly serious to her.

WILLIAM

I'm so sorry - I didn't know.

BELLA

No, no-one knows - but…well I mean it's no secret, it's just that saying you're "trying" is so… trying.

MAX

I can't begin to describe the nightmare of it - I've spent the last three months having blood tests, shooting home at four in the afternoon for sex and masturbating into test-tubes.

BERNIE

Oh dear. That's a bit rough.

MAX

No matter. So… this secret.

WILLIAM

Really. It's nothing. I'll tell you when I'm very old and you'll be amazed.

Bernie's been thinking.

Bernie

Wait a minute - you actually come home at four in the afternoon and Bella lets you have sex with her?

MAX

As it were.

BERNIE

Bloody hell. What fabulous lives other people lead.


We shot this next scene with two wonderful actors, Ann Beach and Tenniel Evans, and in our first screening, it was the funniest scene in the film. But then with each successive screening, we started to realise it was a problem. It came after Hugh and Julia kiss in the garden and it was just slowing everything down - coming when we should only be concentrating on William and Anna falling in love. So finally we lost it. You always kill the thing you love.

INT. WILLIAM'S PARENTS' DINING ROOM. DAY.

William at lunch with his parents. There are prints of racing scenes and roses on the walls. Both parents have dressed up a bit for the lunch - father in jacket and tie - mother in a floral dress.

WILLIAM

Now look - if I tell you this - you absolutely mustn't tell anyone else.

FATHER

Of course not.

WILLIAM

Well you say that - but this is a peculiarly strange person to have got… ahm… involved with…

MOTHER

It's not Fergie, is it?

WILLIAM

No, Mum - it's not Fergie.

FATHER

Don't want to get involved with Fergie - she'll spend all your money, make you suck her toes and then run off with the first bald men who takes her fancy.

MOTHER

Lady Helen Windsor is lovely.

FATHER

Oh yes - she's gorgeous.

WILLIAM

No, you know what, strangely enough, it's not a member of the royal family at all. The truth is - and you must keep this an absolute secret - I've sort of got to know… Anna Scott, in fact.

They both look at him, apparently amazed. Then…

MOTHER

Who?

WILLIAM

For heaven's sake - you know her - we watched that film of hers on telly last Christmas… come on…

FATHER

Anna Scott. Oh yes. That's right. Splendid. (pause) And how are things at the bookstore?

WILLIAM

No, stop - we can't end the conversation there. Try to take this in, Dad - it's like the equivalent in your generation of your going out with Vivien Leigh, or Grace Kelly.

MOTHER

Poor Grace.

WILLIAM

What do you mean, 'Poor Grace'?

MOTHER

What a terrible way to die. Those poor children.

WILLIAM

I'm not talking about how she died - I'm talking about how incredible it would have been to kiss her when she was alive.

FATHER

I remember the first time I kissed your mother…

MOTHER

Now, be careful here, darling.

FATHER

It was a boiling hot day…

WILLIAM

No, we're drifting again… remember, we were talking about me and Anna Scott.

MOTHER

I do remember her now. She's that pretty girl, isn't she. Looks a bit like Mavis.

FATHER

Dear Mavis - she and Gerald have had such a difficult year. Arthritis is such a bugger.

MOTHER

Poor things.

WILLIAM

Yes. Right. Good… (totally resigned to failure here) How's Deidre? Still teaching?




While I was writing the film, I went out for lunch in Westbourne Grove, where I bumped into a friend of mine called Alec, a director. He was having lunch with Gwyneth Paltrow - and although we talked for three minutes, he never introduced us. Quite rightly - I had very big hair that week, and no-one wants to be thought of as a friend of someone who looks like a mixture between Cilla Black and Margaret Thatcher. When I got back to the office, I wrote this scene. It nearly made it in, just before the Whoopsidaisies scene.

EXT. WEST END STREETS. NIGHT.

William and Anna are waking along together. A pleasant tension. They pass a laughing couple - a little drunk - in love. Then…

ANNA

Oh God - a weird-looking guy's coming straight at us. You're in charge.

She puts on her glasses.

FRIEND

Hi. William?

The suspected madman comes through the darkness. William recognises him. It's a friend.

WILLIAM

Yes - hey, how you doing?

FRIEND

Great, fine, good to see you.

Anna relaxes, since it's a friend - takes off her glasses and does a little semi-apologetic wave and smile. The friend smiles back.

WILLIAM

Well, everything trucking along, as usual?

FRIEND

Not exactly - since I lost the job things have been pretty hard - but I'm sort of getting back my equilibrium.

WILLIAM

Oh great. Well - yes, I was sad about all that - but I'm really pleased it's all coming right. You're looking well, anyway.

FRIEND

Hair's different but…

WILLIAM

Yeh, the hair really is something. Well, great to see you.

FRIEND

Yes - you too. Well, better be getting on.

Nods, smiling at Anna.

William

Yes great. Take care. Bye.

The friend walks away. William drops his head in despair.

ANNA

Why didn't you introduce us?

WILLIAM

Because I couldn't remember his sodding name. He now thinks I'm the worst human being in the world. He thinks I didn't think he was worth introducing. He thinks I'm some bastard who dumps all his friends the first time he meets a famous person.

ANNA

He can't be much of a friend, if you can't even remember his name.

WILLIAM

Well, no, that's the problem - he actually is quite a good friend - I used to play football with him every week. Oh god - and he must be feeling such a total worthless turd.

ANNA

Don't worry - we can fix it.

She runs after the friend.

WILLIAM

What are you doing?

He runs after her. She reaches the friend. He is small and balding slightly.

ANNA

Hi - William didn't introduce us - my name's Anna.

HUGO

Hi - yes - I know - I'm Hugo.

William catches up.

ANNA

He knows I'm a bit cautious about strangers - but I mean, obviously I didn't mean him not to let me meet a good friend like you… Hugo.

Tiny register on William's face - 'that's the name!'.

ANNA

Old footballing friends I hear.

HUGO

Yep, every week. Donkey in goal, me on the wing.

ANNA

I never knew 'Donkey' was such an athlete. Anyway - won't hold you up. Just wanted to say 'hello', and, you know…

She gives him a peck on the cheek.

Oh God - I'm all confused now - stick with Donkey - or simply walk away with the mysterious stranger in tweeds the touch of whose cheek has stolen my fickle heart.

Hugo is totally thrilled.

HUGO

Well, I think you better stick with him. I'm… married, actually. But… it's very nice to meet you. And maybe we can team up again soon, eh, Donko?

WILLIAM

Absolutely - Hugo my man.

HUGO

Catch you round.

ANNA

Bye.

He walks away with a high spring in his step. There is a moment of things feeling right. They head on.

ANNA

Donkey, huh?

WILLIAM

I don't know where that name came from. No logical explanation was ever given to me for how that came to be my nickname.

She laughs.



This was almost the first scene I wrote for the movie, even though it came very near the end of the plot, and it was my favourite scene. We shot it - the actors acted their socks of - and yet somehow in the edit it seemed superfluous. The problem was, it came after "Ain't No Sunshine" and, in terms of woe, the song had done the job already.

INT. BOOKSHOP. DAY.

A grey day in the bookshop. Martin and William. Time hangs heavy.

WILLIAM

Martino.

MARTIN

Capo di capo.

WILLIAM

Question.

MARTIN

Do my best.

WILLIAM

In your experience of love…

MARTIN

Yes…

WILLIAM

What credence do you give to the concept of time the healer?

MARTIN

Right. (thinks about it, then…) well, when I was at college, I fell in love with a girl who wasn't interested in me at all. For three years - not interested at all. I haven't seen her since.

WILLIAM

How long's that?

MARTIN

Seven years.

He fiddles about in his back pocket and finds his wallet. Leafs through it - takes out an old black and white picture, which he unfolds. It is a dark-haired girl, smiling, and wearing a university scarf.

I look at it every day. No-one else has ever made a mark.

William nods.

WILLIAM

I thought as much.




Another scene that came in the falling-in-love section, near the parents. I named the girl Carol after Carolyn, the first girl I seriously loved, and the first to break my heart. In a strange way, all these finding-true-love romantic comedies I've written - of which I hope this will be the last - have been an attempt to put right the awful feeling of hurt of those months after she left me. So, in terms of my writing, I owe that beautiful, sweet, mysterious dark-haired girl a lot.

EXT. WEST END STREETS. NIGHT.

They walk, like a happy couple.

ANNA

You're a big idiot.

WILLIAM

Oh my God.

ANNA

What?

WILLIAM

That woman coming up, in the expensive coat.

ANNA

What about her?

The woman, classy, well-presented, thirty-five, is approaching fast - he can't finish the sentence.

WILLIAM

She was… my word, Carol - good to see you.

CAROL

William. (she gives him a quick kiss) Sorry, I'm late as hell, as I am always late as hell.

WILLIAM

(already hurt again) Oh, fine, well, I won't hold you up. Anna - this is Carol. We were… married for years. Carol - Anna.

ANNA

Hello.

CAROL

Hi.

Very casual - then she realises who it is. She slowly looks across at William and then back at Anna. She can't quite keep her mouth closed.

Hi.

WILLIAM

You're looking lovely.

CAROL

Oh no - the hair's a disaster. George hates it and says he can't look at me.

ANNA

Tell him he's wrong.

CAROL

I will. I will.

She runs out of steam. She can't take her eyes off her ex-husband's date.

WILLIAM

How's little George?

CAROL

As horrible as big George.

WILLIAM

That is horrible. Well, you're late as hell - you better be running on. It would be lovely if you rang sometime. I'm where I was. Where we were.

CAROL

I will ring. (to Anna) Nice to meet you.

She walks away - banjaxed by Anna. William also seems shaken.

ANNA

Are you okay?

WILLIAM

Yes. Yeh. It's just…

A big smile.

If you have to bump into your ex-wife for the first time in four years - what a fantastic person to be with when it happens.

ANNA

God, you're shallow.

WILLIAM

I know.

We watch them as they walk away.

And profoundly ashamed of it.

Three more yards - and then he does a big skip into the air - total glee.



This is another scene we shot, which was pretty well the heart of the film. But once again - as so often happens - looks, music, rhythms tell the story in a completely unexpected way, and things that seemed crucial become superfluous. Also, it was meant to come before the scene on Hampstead Heath - and somehow there was a feeling that it was time for William himself to take decisive action, rather than having to be pushed into it by his friends. It's a pity, because Tim was wonderful in this scene.

EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD. NIGHT.

Cut to after dinner. Max and William are strolling along Portobello. They pass Woolworths window, showing posters of stars, including Claudia Schiffer and Cindy Crawford.

MAX

Are you a Claudia or a Cindy man?

WILLIAM

Cindy, I think.

MAX

Yes, I'm Cindy too. Clauds is perfection - but she has got to be punished for the whole David Copperfield thing.

They stroll along.

Just incidentally - and I'm only saying this for your own good - you know what an absolute bloody nightmare this stuff with Bella has been.

This catches william off his guard.

WILLIAM

Of course.

MAX

I mean I love us not talking about it. If you talked about it, we'd both smack you. but it's a rel pain int eha rse. The muscles in her legs are just… she has to do this electric stimulation thing. Kate Moss is the one I really adore…

WILLIAM

I agree. Nice local girl.

MAX

And she has had to have so much love for me not to have spent the lstyear shouting at me beause I make so many bloody mistkaes and had to go back to work too quickly and get panicky when she smokes and anyway… the reason I mention it is… I'm getting a nagging suspicion that of all disasters you actually fell in love with your American girl.

William looks across at him.

And if it is a love thing - well then: whatever the price - you have to pay it.

WILLIAM

Meaning?

MAX

Meaning, you have to go to that film set and tell that bloody enormous movie star that you're absolutely the man for her and she'd be stark staring mad not to spend the rest of her life with you… and your very attractive friends.

WILLIAM

Ha. And she'll say - 'get out of the way of the camera, you dismal pasty-faced nonentity.'

MAX

Maybe. The risk of total failure is, of course, part of the price of love.

They keep walking.

WILLIAM

Hmmm. (a few strides. Then…) Hampstead Heath, you say.

MAX

Paper says tomorrow's the final day.

WILLIAM

Classic.




Penultimately, a fourth girlfriend, exquisitely played by Sally Phillips, from the sequence where William is force-dated. She turned out to be a girlfriend too far.

INT. MAX AND BELLA'S KITCHEN/CONSERVATORY. NIGHT.

Cut back to Max at the stove.

MAX

Right - prepare for the pudding…

He opens the steaming door and takes out something very burnt…

Which I think is ice-cream on it's own.

He walks over to the table: Bernie, Honey, Bella, William - it's a week later and there's another girl, Bernie's choice.

MAX

Ice -cream, Caroline?

CAROLINE

Oh absolutely. Pile it on.

Huge grin on Bernie's face. She's doing well. She's a very cheerful, quite posh type. In that green jumper.

WILLIAM

And tell me, Caroline - what do you do?

CAROLINE

Sorry - not with you…

WILLIAM

What do you do - as a job?

CAROLINE

Oh gotcha, right. Yes. Absolutely. Sorry. Durr. Ah, no, right. Ahm. No. I teach actually.

WILLIAM

Oh. Right. What age?

CAROLINE

I'm 28, come June.

WILLIAM

Right. And how old are the children you teach?

CAROLINE

Oh God - is that what you meant? Sorry. Had my brains just scooped out with a great big spoon. Ahm - no - sorry - ahm - what was the question?

WILLIAM

How old are the children you teach?

CAROLINE

Actually they're not children. They're dogs. And they come in all ages.

WILLIAM

Classic. Challenging stuff.




The final scene here is just to show how far a film can travel. In the first draft I wrote, the character of Honey was not William's sister - she worked in the record store opposite his bookshop and actually went out with him after Anna the movie star slipped out of his life. The original movie was about a man choosing between someone sweet and poor who wore glasses and the most glamorous woman in the world. And he chose Honey. But in the end, I just couldn't bear to dismiss either of them, so I made Honey a sister and sorted things out with Anna instead. This is a scene where the original Honey finally decides to stand up for herself. William has just gone swimming to try to sort out his horrible dilemma.

INT. PORCHESTER BATHS. DAY.

We see William swimming away - 10 lengths, 20 lengths, 30 lengths. Thinking.

Finally he makes his way into the men's locker room - and is having a shower.


NAKED MAN

You did a lot of lengths.

WILLIAM

Yes, well, I've got a lot to think about.

NAKED MAN

Right.

He comes out. And in walks Honey.

HONEY

Hi.

WILLIAM

Honey.

HONEY

I've been thinking.

WILLIAM

So have I. I'll be changed in a minute - I'll come out.

HONEY

No, I'm keen to talk about it now.

WILLIAM

The thing is, women aren't actually allowed…

HONEY

Oh don't be such a drip.

The naked man appears and is startled by her being there - he rushes off to find a towel - and then has a lot of trouble over the next two minutes trying not to let her see him naked again - he doesn't seem to have enough hands to open his locker and get things out without his towel slipping off - and in the end - the towel comes right down, when he's turned her way. But that is in the background - we're half watching that - and half watching Honey talking to William.

You clearly have a decision to make of some sort - and I just want to say something about that. The thing is… don't just judge me by what I am, Willie…

WILLIAM

I'm not judging anyone…

HONEY

Judge me by… what I'd like to be. I may just be a girl in a record store - but in my heart, I'm all the girls whose records I sell - I'm Barbara Streisand and Edith Piaf, I'm Chrissie Hynde and Janis Joplin, I'm crazy Sinead and sensible Bonnie Raitt and stupid Cyndi Lauper. I'm Madonna and I'm Ella Fitzgerald. I'm more than I seem. I'm all the things I dream.

WILLIAM

Sweetheart.

HONEY

And I love you, which is another thing.

William takes this in.

Well, that's it. I'll leave you alone now.

WILLIAM

No, stay - I'll be out in a minute.

HONEY

No, I think you have all the facts. I look forward to your decision.

Honey turns to the troubled naked man.

And in case you're worried or curious, yes, that is a very small penis indeed.

And she leaves…



It is, as you can see, a long, long road, with many a winding turn.
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