Quotes


"Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, you'd remove the Cadogan guide to Bali from your trousers, and either wipe it and put it back, or buy it."-Will

"Would you like my phone number?"-Thief
"Tempting but...no, thank you."-Anna

"I'm confident that in five minutes we can have you spick and span and back on the street again...in the non-prostitute sense obviously."-Will

"Do you always say no to everything?"-Will
"No."-Anna

"I apoligize for the 'surreal but nice' comment. Disaster..."-Will
"Don't worry about it. I thought the apricot and honey bit was the real lowpoint."-Anna

"..And then I'm going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins."-Spike

"Probably best not to tell anyone about this."-Anna
"Right. No-one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but...don't worry - I won't believe it."-Will

"Right. Ahm...the film's great...and I just wondered - whether you ever though of having more... horses in it?"-Will
"Ahm-well- we would have liked to - but it was difficult, obviously, being set in space."-Anna
"Obviously. Very difficult."-Will

"Any horses in that one? Or hounds, of course. Our readers are equally intrigued by both species."-Will

"You are 'Horse and Hound's' favorite actress. You and Black Beauty. Tied."-Will

"Any favorites among the 22?"-Will
"Working with Leonardo."-Girl
"Da Vinci?"-Will
"DiCaprio."-Girl
"Of course! And is he your favorite Italian film director?"-Will

"Hi guys. (sees Anna) Oh holy f*ck!"-Honey

"Oh God this is one of those key moments in life, when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I'm going to fail a hundred percent. I absolutely and totally and utterly adore you and I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world and more importantly I genuinely believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. What do you think?"-Honey
"Ahm...lucky me!"-Anna

"I've been on a diet everyday since I was nineteen, which means basically I've been hungry for a decade. I've had a sequence of not nice boyfriends - one of whom hit me: and every time my heart gets broken it gets splashed across the newspapers as entertainment. Meantime, it cost me two painful surgeries to get me looking like this...really. And one day, not long from now...my looks will go, they'll find out I can't act and I'll become a sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while."-Anna

"Whoopsidaisies."-Will
"What did you say?"-Anna
"Nothing."-Will
"Yes you did."-Anna
"No I didn't."-Will
"You said 'whoopsidaisies'."-Anna
"I don't think so. No-one says 'whoopsidaisies', do they - I mean unless they're..."-Will
"There's no 'unless'. No-one has said 'whoopsidaisies' for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets."-Anna
"Exactly. So here we go again. (He slips.) Whoopsidaisies! It's a disease I've got - it's a clinical thing. I'm taking pills and having injections."-Will

"'For June, who loved this garden - from Joseph who always sat beside her.' Some people do spend their whole lives together.."-Anna

"Hi. I'm sorry about my friend - he's very sensitive."-Anna
"No, look, I'm sorry--"-Man at Table
"Please, please - let's just leave it there. I'm sure you meant no harm, and I'm sure it was all just friendly banter and I'm sure your dicks are all the size of peanuts. Enjoy your meal."-Anna

"Do you want to come up?"-Anna
"There seem to be lots of reasons why I shouldn't."-Will
"There are lots of reasons. Do you want to come up?"-Anna

"I knew a girl at school called Pandora...never got to see her box though."-Spike

"Her name is Tessa and she works in the contracts department. The hair, I admit, is unfashionably frizzy - but she's as bright as a button and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row....apparently."-Max

"What's a fruitarian exactly?"-Will
"We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen from the tree, or bush - that are, in fact, dead already."-Date #2
"Right. Right. Interesting stuff...so these carrots?"-Will
"Have been murdered, yes."-Date #2
"Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly."-Will

"I think you have forgotten...what an unusual situation you have here - to find someone you actually love, who'll love you - the chances are...always miniscule."-Will

"Do you want to stay?"-Bella
"Why not? All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman."-Will

"Anytime I've ever tried to keep things normal with anyone normal - it's been a disaster."-Anna

"It feels like how love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky."-Anna
"With a goat playing a violin."-Will
"Well, yes. Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat."-Anna

"Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is. I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday - could you get a message through that I may be a little late."- Anna
"Certainly. And little Johnny?"- William
"My son's name is Johnny?"- Anna
"Yup."- William
"Well, get a message through to him, too."- Anna

"You know what they say about men with big feet?"-Anna
"No. What's that?"-Will
"Big feet - large shoes."-Anna

"What do you put on your passport? Profession - Mel Gibson's bottom."-Will
"Actually, Mel does his own asswork."-Anna

"It's delicious."-Anna
"What? The ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom?"-Will
"Both. Equally."-Anna
"But..you wouldn't, necessarily, lick both..."-Will
"Well, this is tart. And fuzz-free."-Anna

"Rita Hayworth used to say - 'they go to bed with Gilda - they wake up with me.'"-Anna
"Who was Gilda?"-Will
"Her most famous part - men went to bed with the dream - and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality - do you feel that way with me?"-Anna
"You're lovelier this morning than you have ever been."-Will

"Can I stay a bit longer?"-Anna
"Stay forever."-Will

"Not bad. Not at all bad. Well-chosen briefs, I'd say. Chicks love gray. Nice firm buttocks."-Spike

"And then you go out in your goddamn underwear."-Anna
"I went out in my goddamn underwear too!"-Spike
"Get out, Spike!"-Will

"Who knows, it may even help business. Buy a boring book about Egypt for the guy who screwed Anna Scott."-Anna

"Well, you know - it's just one day. Today's papers all have been thrown away tomorrow."-Will
"You really don't get it. This story gets filed. Every time anyone writes anything about me - they'll dig up these photos. Newspapers last forever. I'll regret this forever."-Anna
"Right. Fine. I will do the opposite, if it's all right by you - and always be glad you came."-Will

"But...if you wait...there are things to say."-Anna
"Okay."-Will
"Drink tea - there's lots of tea."-Anna

"I think, looking at something that firm, you and your droopy little excuse for an 'arse' would be well-advised to keep quiet."-Anna

"Who was that rather diffident chap you were talking to on the way up?"-Actor
"Oh...no-one. No-one. Just some...guy from the past. I don't know what he's doing here. Bit of an awkward situation."-Anna

"Can I just say, I thought 'Ghost' was a wonderful film."-Martin
"Is that right?"-Anna
"Yes...I've always wondered what Patrick Swayze is like in real life."-Martin
"I can't say I know Patrick all that well."-Anna
"Oh dear. He wasn't friendly during the filming?"-Martin
"Well, no - I'm sure he was friendly - to Demi Moore - who acted with him in 'Ghost'.
"Oh right. Right. Sorry. Always have been a bit of an ass."-Martin

"The truth is...with you, I'm in real danger. It looks like a perfect situation, apart from that foul temper of yours - but my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not recover if I was once again...cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be. There are too many pictures of you everywhere, too many films. You'd go and I'd be...well, buggered, basically."-Will

"I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother has trouble remembering my name."-Will

"The fame thing isn't really real, you know? Don't forget - I'm also just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her."-Anna

"William has just turned down Anna Scott."-Honey
"You daft prick!"-Spike

"It was sort of sweet actually - I mean, I know she's an actress and all that, so she can deliver a line - but she said she might be as famous as can be - but also...that she was just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her. (Silence) Oh sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I?"-Will

"James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit."-Max

"I just wondered whether if it turned out that this...person..."-Will
"His name is Thacker."-Journalist
"Thanks. I just wondered if Mr. Thacker realised he'd been a daft prick and got down on his knees and begged you to reconsider, whether you would...reconsider."-Will
"Yes, I'm pretty sure I would."-Anna
"That's very good news. The readers of 'Horse and Hound' will be absolutely delighted."-Will

"Anna - how long are you intending to stay here in Britain?"-Reporter
"Indefinitely."-Anna