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Screenplay (Continued)

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM - DAY

William on the phone. We hear the formal man at the 

other end of the phone. And then intercut with him.

WILLIAM:

Hello.

RITZ MAN (V.O.):

May I help you, sir?

WILLIAM:

Ahm, look this is a very odd 

situation. I'm a friend of Anna 

Scott's -- and she rang me at home the

day before yesterday -- and left a

message saying she's staying with 

you...

INT. RITZ RECEPTION - DAY

RITZ MAN:

I'm sorry, we don't have anyone of 

that name here, sir.

WILLIAM:

No, that's right -- I know that. She

said she's using another name -- but

the problem is she left the message

with my flatmate, which was a serious

mistake.

INT. WILLIAM'S LIVING ROOM

WILLIAM (cont'd):

Imagine if you will the stupidest

person you've ever met -- are you

doing that...?

Spike happens to be in the foreground of this shot.

He's reading a newspaper.

RITZ MAN:

Yes, sir. I have him in my mind.

WILLIAM:

And then double it -- and that is the 

-- what can I say -- git I'm living 

with and he cannot remember...

SPIKE:

Try 'Flinstone.'

WILLIAM:

(to Spike)

What?

SPIKE:

I think she said her name was 

'Flinstone.'

WILLIAM:

Does 'Flinstone' mean anything to 

you?

RITZ MAN:

I'll put you right through, sir.

Flinstone is indeed the magic word.

WILLIAM:

Oh my God.

He practices how to sound.

WILLIAM:

Hello. Hi. Hi.

ANNA (V.O.):

Hi.

We hear her voice -- don't see her.

WILLIAM:

(caught out)

Oh hi. It's William... Thacker. I, 

ahm I work in a bookshop.

ANNA (V.O.):

You played it pretty cool here, 

waiting for three days to call.

WILLIAM:

No, I've never played anything cool

in my entire life. Spike, who I'll

stab to death later, never gave me the

message.

ANNA (V.O.):

Oh -- Okay.

WILLIAM:

Perhaps I could drop round for tea or

something?

ANNA (V.O.):

Yeh -- unfortunately, things are 

going to be pretty busy, but... okay,

let's give it a try. Four o'clock 

would be good.

WILLIAM:

Right. Great. 

(he hangs up)

Classic. Classic.

EXT. RITZ - DAY

William jumps off a bus and walks toward the Ritz. He

carries a small bunch of roses.

INT. RITZ HOTEL - DAY

He approaches the lifts. At the lift, he pushes the 

button and the doors open. As he is getting in, William is 

jointed by a young man. His name is Tarquin.

WILLIAM:

Which floor?

TARQUIN:

Three please.

William pushes the button. They wait for the doors to close.

INT. RITZ CORRIDOR - DAY

The lift lands. William gets out. So does Tarquin. 

Rooms 30-35 are to the left. 35-39 to the right. William 

heads right. So does Tarquin.

William is puzzled. He slows down as he approaches room 

38. So does Tarquin. William spots, so does Tarquin. William 

points at the number.

WILLIAM:

Are you...?

TARQUIN:

Yes.

WILLIAM:

Oh. Right.

He knocks. A bright, well-tailored American girl opens the door.

KAREN:

Hey, I'm Karen. Sorry -- things 

are running a bit late. Here's the 

thing...

She hands them a very slick, expensively produced press 

kits,with the poster picture of Anna, for the film 'Helix.'

INT. THE TRAFALGAR SUITE ANTE-ROOM - DAY

A few seconds later -- they enter the main waiting 

room. There are a number of journalists waiting for their 

audience.

KAREN:

So, what did you think of the film?

TARQUIN :

Marvellous. I think it was like 'Close Encounters' 

meets 'Jean De Forette.' Oscar-

winning stuff.

They both turn to William for his opinion.

WILLIAM:

I agree.

KAREN:

I'm sorry I didn't get down what 

magazines you're from.

TARQUIN:

'Time Out.'

KAREN:

Great. And you...

WILLIAM:

(seeing it on a coffee 

table)

'Horse and Hound.' The name's 

William Thacker. I think she might

be expecting me.

KAREN:

Okay -- take a seat. I'll check.

They sit down as Karen goes off.

TARQUIN:

You've brought her flowers?

William goes for the cover-up.

WILLIAM:

No -- they're... for my grandmother.

She's in a hospital nearby. Thought

I'd kill two birds with one stone.

TARQUIN:

I'm sorry. Which hospital?

Pauses. He's in trouble.

WILLIAM:

Do you mind me not saying -- it's a

rather distressing disease and the 

name of the hospital rather gives it

away.

TARQUIN:

Oh sure. Of course.

KAREN:

Mr. Thacker.

Saved by the bell.

INT. TRAFALGAR SUIT CORRIDOR - DAY

KAREN:

You've got five minutes.

He is shown in through big golden doors. Karen stays outside.

INT. THE TRAFALGAR SUITE SITTING ROOM - DAY

There Anna is, framed in the window. Glorious.

WILLIAM:

Hi.

ANNA:

Hello.

WILLIAM:

I brought these, but clearly...

There are lots of other flowers in the room.

ANNA:

Oh no, no -- these are great.

A fair amount of tension. These two people hardly know

each other -- and the first and last time they met, they kissed.

WILLIAM:

Sorry about not ringing back. The

whole two-names concept was totally too

much for my flatman's pea-sized 

intellect.

ANNA:

No, it's a stupid privacy thing. I 

always choose a cartoon character --

last time, I was Mrs. Bambi.

At which moment Jeremy, Karen's boss, comes in. A 

fairly grave, authoritative fifty-year-old PR man consulting a 

list.

JEREMY:

Everything okay?

ANNA:

Yes, thank you.

JEREMY:

And you are from 'Horse and Hound'?

William nods.

ANNA:

Is that so?

William shrugs his shoulders. Jeremy settles at a 

little desk in the corner and makes notes. A pause. William

feels he has to act the part. They sit in chairs opposite each

other.

WILLIAM:

So I'll just fire away, shall I?

Anna nods.

WILLIAM:

Right. Ahm... the film's great... 

and I just wondered -- whether you 

ever thought of having more...

horses in it?

ANNA:

Ahm -- well -- we would have liked to 

-- but it was difficult, obviously, 

being set in space.

WILLIAM:

Obviously. Very difficult.

Jeremy leaves.

William puts his head in his hands. He was panicked.

WILLIAM:

I'm sorry -- I arrived outside -- they

thrust this thing into my hand -- I 

didn't know what to do.

ANNA:

No, it's my fault, I thought this 

would all be over by now. I just 

wanted to sort of apologize for the

kissing thing. I seriously don't

know what got in to me. I just wanted

to make sure you were fine about it.

WILLIAM:

Ah yeah. Absolutely fine.

Jeremy re-enters.

JEREMY:

Do remember that Miss Scott is also

keen to talk about her next project, 

which is shooting later in the summer.

WILLIAM:

Oh yes -- excellent. Ahm -- any horses 

in that one? Or hounds, of course. Our

readers are equally intrigued by both

species.

ANNA:

It takes place on a submarine.

WILLIAM:

Yes. Right... But if there were horses,

would you be riding them yourself or 

would you be getting a stunt horse person

double sort of thing?

Jeremy exits.

WILLIAM:

I'm just a complete moron. Sorry. 

This is the sort of thing that happens

in dreams -- not in real life. Good

dreams, obviously -- it's a dream to

see you again.

ANNA:

And what happens next in the dream?

It's a challenge.

WILLIAM:

Well, I suppose in the dream scenario.

I just... ahm, change my personality,

because you can do that in dreams, and

walk across and kiss the girl but you

know it'll never happen.

Pause. Then they move towards each other when... Jeremy 

enters.

JEREMY:

Time's up, I'm afraid. Did you get what you wanted?

WILLIAM:

Nearly.

JEREMY:

Maybe time for one last question?

WILLIAM:

Right.

Jeremy goes out -- it's their last seconds.

WILLIAM:

Are you busy tonight?

ANNA:

Yes.

They look at each other. Jeremy enters, with another 

journalists in row. Anna and William stand and shake hands 

formally.

ANNA:

Well, it was nice to meet you. 

Surreal but nice.

WILLIAM:

Thank you. You are 'Horse and Hound's'

favorite actress. You and Black 

Beauty. Tied.

INT. TRAFALGAR SUITE CORRIDOR - DAY

William exits fairly despondent and heads for the door. 

Tarquin is in the corridor calling on his mobile phone.

TARQUIN:

How was she?

WILLIAM:

Fabulous.

TARQUIN:

Wait a minute -- she took your 

grandmother's flowers?

William can't think his way out of this.

WILLIAM:

Yes. That's right. Bitch.

He turns to go, but is accosted by Karen.

KAREN:

If you'd like to come with me we can

rush you through the others.

WILLIAM:

The others?

INT. RITZ INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY

KAREN:

Mr. Thacker's from 'Horse and Hound.'

A forty-year-old actor with great presence warmly shakes

William's hand.

MALE LEAD:

Please to meet you. Did you enjoy the

film?

WILLIAM:

Ah... yes, enormously.

MALE LEAD:

Well then, fire away.

WILLIAM:

Right, right. Ahm -- did you enjoy

making the film?

MALE LEAD:

I did.

WILLIAM:

Any bit in particular?

MALE LEAD:

Well, you tell me which bit you liked

most -- and I'll tell you if I enjoyed

making it.

WILLIAM:

Ahm right, right, I liked the bit in

space very much. Did you enjoy 

making that bit?

INT. RITZ INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY

Same room same seat, minutes later, with a monolingual

foreign actor and an interpreter.

Back

Screenplay Continued

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