Where HAVE You Been?!?!

Spoiler Warning!!! This page contains minor spoilers for the show Lois and Clark. Do not read if you want to find out everything that has happened on your own. I have tried not to give away any of the plots or how they were resolved and this page should be pretty safe :).

You've never seen Lois and Clark before?! What are you- blind or just galactically stupid? Okay, okay maybe it wasn't your fault. Maybe you wanted to watch it but certain curcumstances kept getting in your way. Maybe on September 20, 1993 you were abducted by aliens (freezed-dried, of course) and for the next 3 years you were stuck on a barren rock of a planet filled with strange emotionless people. The after you heard about some of them coming to Earth you grabbed onto the back of the ship and were caught up in the 'Poof'. But when you got back to Earth you hit you head and began to think you were a character in a book you were writing. After some nice but worthless help from a sleazy (can't think of any other PG ways of describing him) doctor, you are released to the world. (Don't forget to thank Mr. Johnson!) Sitting down in front of a TV for the first time in over three years you want to know what this show is about, right? Well since you've been through all that, how can I resist?

I figure I've already taken up enough space with my intro so here's the short history, if you want the long story check out my episode guide.

Clark Kent was sent to Earth as a baby from the doomed planet, Krypton. On Earth he was found by Jon and Martha Kent, two very loving people who were unable to have children. Clark grew up in Smallville, Kansas, thinking he was a normal child until he slowly began to get superpowers. Clark got these awesome abilities from Earth's yellow sun (Krypton's is red). His powers include: superstrength, superspeed, X-ray vision, telescopic and microscopic vision, superbreath, superhearing, and the most amazing of all, the power to fly. He traveled the world and eventually settled down in Metropolis where he became a reporter for one of the best newspapers in the country, The Daily Planet (da-da-da!). There he met Perry White, the editor, Jimmy Olsen, photographer, copyboy, and jr. journalist, and Lois Lane, the best reporter the Planet has. (see picture) He instantly fell in love even though Lois was career driven and thoughly distasted Clark. She called him 'Farmboy' and the 'Hick from Nowheresville'. Lois has had many bad relationships and was not about to take down her heavy defenses for Clark. But she was enchanted by Superman, the stranger who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman saved her life many times and Lois was drawn uncontrollably to him. Superman was, of course, Clark. Clark had created Superman so that he was able to use his strange gifts to help people. But Clark is the real person, not Superman which was why he was very unhappy when Lois felt hopelessly in love with Superman but disliked Clark so much. So began probably the only love triangle in history with only two people. It is amazing that no one can tell that Clark is Superman because they do look so much the same. The only difference (besides clothes) is that Clark wears glasses. (see picture of Clark and of Superman) Perry eventually teamed Lois and Clark up. They soon became the 'hottest team in town'. Lois soon also began to think of Clark as a close friend but nothing else. Poor Clark not only had to battle with himself for Lois (he wanted Lois to love Clark for himself not for the superpowers) but also the rich, attractive Lex Luthor. Lois was attracted to Lex because he was often gave money to charities and was very charming. In reality he was Superman's worst enemy. He hated Superman and tried everything in his power to kill him. The closest Lex ever got was when Lois agreed to marry him. During the wedding Clark (as Superman) was trapped in a cage made of kryptonite (a glowing green rock that gives off some sort of radiation this is very painful to Clark, it makes him lose his powers and could, eventually, kill him), but Clark managed to escape. At the alter Lois said "I can't" instead of "I do" when thoughts of Clark prevented her rom marrying Lex. At the same time Luthor was revealed to ve a crook and apparently jumped to his death, rather than be put in jail. Lois gave up her crush on Lex, when he was brought back to life by his nurse (Gretchen Kelly) she was unable to say that she ever loved him, but she was still hopelessly in love with Superman. After Clark was shot and forced to pretend to be dead to keep his secret identity secret Lois realized how much she liked Clark. They eventually began dating. After many distractions (mainly Mayson Drake, Dan Scardino *shudder*, the criminal organization Intergang, and Clark's mysterious disappearences when ever he heard a call for help) Clark asked Lois to marry him. But to the surprise of (most of) the FoLCs Lois answered with the now famous works, "Who's asking, Clark or Superman?". Lois didn't accept Clark's proposal because she needed some time to think about Clark being Superman. For the next five or six episodes the relationshiip was very tense. Lois and Clark had a fight and decided not to see each other. After they got back together (because of a crazed man who thought he was Noah) and Clark's powers were transfered to Lois (via a red kryptonite laser) Lois proposed to Clark and (surprise!) he accepted. With Intergang to cause trouble things were less than wasy. And the *TPTB dropped the bomb. It was the (first) wedding epidose. Everyone was prepared for our super couple to live happily ever after (at least til next week) when we found out that Lois was replaced with a clone (from here on called 'Clois'). It turned out that Lex Luthor was the cause of this childish frog-eating clone. Luthor had escaped from prison and kidnapped the real Lois. Clois found out that Clark was Superman and told Luthor that to try to legthen her life. After about a day, Clark realized that Clois was not Lois. But about the same time Lois bumped her head and began to think she was 'Wanda Detroit' a character in a book she was writing. Lex persuaded 'Wanda' that he was her lover and that Clark was evil. Lex, now knowing Clark was Superman, he tried to kill Clark (again). His plan backfired, though, and left him trapped under a pile of rubble (dead?) and Clark with Lois. Lois now had regual amnesia. She was sent to a mental hospital and put in the care of one of the best doctors, Dr. Maxwell Deter. But Deter turned out less than satisfactory, falling in love with Lois and prohibiting Clark from visiting her. Lois began to think she was in love with Deter but after some 'help' from Herkamor Johnson's brain drain machine she regained all her memories. As everything seemed to be doing better two people from a planet called New Krypton (they were Kryptonians who escaped from Krypton before it exploded) came to Earth. It turned out that those Kryptonians, Zara and Ching, wanted Clark to come to New Krypton with th m to fight Lord Knor and to marry Zara (as was his destiny- or something like that). But Lord Knor came to Earth and the marriage was annulled. Lois and Clark eventually got married with the help of the angel-like Mike.

Well that is basically what has happened. I suggest you try to watch a few episodes of L&C, it's surprising how easy it is to get hooked, even if you think you with hate it! You can read how others became FoLC's here (coming soon!) and you'll probably find that most of those people thought they'd hate Lois and Clark. There is no better time to start watching, 'cause L&C has a guarenteed fifth season and that means sydication!

*TPTB=The Powers That Be

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