The Geek Space Dominion

Page 6

Coma Inducing Stories By Dorse Napel Today while Commander Dux was on the station's daycare duty 'Uncle Miles' appeared on a surprise visit to tell stories. As 'Uncle Miles' started to tell the story of "The Three Little Starships" Commander Dux went into convulsions. Gate Sikto called Doctor Bash-up who arrived a half an hour after he was called to the scene. Bash-up was able to subside the convulsions but Dux went into a deep coma afterwards. After a complete examination of Dux, Bash-up concluded that it was the stories that put her into a coma. In the words of Dr. Bash-up; "she was bored into a coma." Bash-up has not been able to wake Dux up any methods he has tried and isn't sure he'll be able to. Meanwhile Oddo has arrested 'Uncle Miles' for telling stories without a permit. 'Uncle Miles' says he's sorry and will go apologise to Dux personally if Oddo would only let him out of the brig. 'Uncle Miles' ' wife, Cake-oh, says it was probably the fake, Scottish accent that put Dux into the coma and she wishes Dux well. Doctor Bash-up will keep us all updated on Dux's condition. Next Column

Oddo Gone Missin' Again By Dorse Napel Early this morning Oddo was reported missing again by Qwak when he didn't come when Qwak tried to smuggle Dinosaurian Brandy out of his bar. Captain Sikto has ordered a deck by deck search but has so far been unsuccessful. Oddly enough Oddo went missing as soon as the USS Boze Nose docked at GS9 dropping Earwax Oi, Counsellor Oi's mother, off. Cake-oh Oh Brain, who has been placed in charge of security until Oddo is found, has started an interrogation of Earwax Oi who has been crying non-stop since she found out Oddo is missing. There are many different rumours of what happened to Oddo, here are some guest opinions of where he went: "I think I stepped on him while he was practising being a spider." -Comdr. Dux "I bet he was kidnapped by the Flounders!!! We have to rescue him!! Chief prepare the Deafy Ant!!!" -Captain Sikto "I'm hiding from Earwax Oi, she always tries to smother me with love as if I were her husband or something!" -Oddo Thorax Arrives at Station By Dorse Napel Late afternoon yesterday Garax's brother, Thorax, arrived at the station. He is a part of the Obsidian Disorder and is here to get information about Starfeet for the Flounders. He was caught stealing information from the computer when Bajor Major Key-rack Nearice caught him and called Oddo. Unfortunately Oddo was too busy chasing Qwak down the promenade to come so she had to take care of him herself. As she was escorting him to the brig he pretended to fall in love with her and asked him to marry her. To make her old boyfriend Shaker jealous she decided to accept to the dismay of Thorax. Their wedding is planned in cell 33 in the brig at 6:00 PM tomorrow.

Next Issue: Slug attacks commander!

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