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© 1998

Xena: Closed Captioned for the Humor Impaired

  • 02-12-98
    Did a little commentary on Bitter Suite but haven't fix the pages yet. Hey I have midterms this week! You're lucky this is even updated at all. Added another Quote Worthy of Bardliness that I somehow couldn't remember (D'Oh!).

    Quotes Worthy of Bardliness
    No 3 Go-Go Gabs Here:
    "Being naked won't excuse ya. Sing to talk we're in Illusia."
    --Joxer (The Bitter Suite)

    The Wizard of Illusia:
    "Ding Dong the bitch is dead."
    --Ares (The Bitter Suite)

    Miscellany:

    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Illusia
    I can describe this episode in one word: BIZARRE. But of course, I'm going to babble on awhile because "Hey, I can."

    Amazons Hoooooo...
    ...Or maybe not. I'm not to sure if I'd want those Amazons protecting me.
    • When Xena comes charging into the village, it's not a social call. So why did they just stand there & let Xena jump over them?
    • Xena's yell must've hypnotized them or something.
    • They need to be told to attack when Xena comes after their queen & attacks the acting queen?
    • Amazons need to practice a more. Granted it was against Xena, but they could've done better. No wonder Velasca wanted to go back to the old ways.
    • When Xena's dragging Gabrielle out of the village, the two Amazons there just parted & let her pass. They must've been on Velasca's side in The Quest.


    One Tough Cookie
    After being dragged all through the countryside, Gab manages to kick Xena in the head hard enough for her to let go, then can run at her at full force. All this without being dizzy & while keeping that sheet on!

    And the Peasants Rejoiced
    Those Poteidians sure are a happy bunch. Though a little contradictory since they sing about peace while weilding farm implements to cheer Gab on to kill Xena.

    Discuss Among Yourselves
    These girls have issues! They really need to work on a little communication so the next time it doesn't fester inside till it explodes & we get another musical.

    Nice Vocal, but you sure can't dance to it.
    You got that right, Ares. It was a pretty good episode & the singing wasn't bad. There's been messages all over alt.tv.xena about who sang or not. We know Lucy Lawless, Kevin Smith, and even Julie Moran (Entertainment Tonight) sang, but what about Callisto, Gabrielle, & even Joxer? Well, if Hudson Leick didn't sing, they got someone pretty close to her voice. UPDATE Renee O'Connor didn't sing & since she said in an interview herself, that she didn't, you kinda have to believe her.Though it was a good voice, I honestly laughed since the voice just didn't seem to match (IMHO). And for Ted Raimi, he he did sing all of his parts. Also he mentioned in a con that Hudson & Renee didn't sing (possibly because of time conflicts) but they had good voices. That's nice to know!

    Tarot or Not Tarot?
    No, I'm not questining the fact that BS was full of Tarot images, but it was a nifty header. Since of course we all know of some pages that have Tarot: Xena style, here are some links to other Tarot pages:

    All in all, it was a good episode, albeit weird. Next time, Gabrielle gets shot with a poison arrow. Oh joy. Looks like the Greater Good reversed. She's just not having a good time this season!
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