1a. Then, after he wailed on Jones, I had no choice but to put him on medical leave pending evaluation by support services."

Jim's such a crybaby.

1b. "Sandburg, if Jim finds out you were hurt, and neither of us called, he's going to go wailing on somebody's ass."

I volunteer!

Correct: "Wailing" is crying, moaning, that sort of thing. The author wants "whaling", which in this sense means beating rather than hunting whales, though for all HMG knows, the expressions may be related. "Then, after he whaled on Jones...." "He's going to go whaling on somebody's ass."

2. Now, I'm not being modest when I say I usually do pretty well.

That's right, you're not.

Correct: Now, I'm not bragging (exaggerating) when I say I usually do pretty well.

3. Blair's embarrassment at Jim's declaration was saved by the ringing of the phone.

Wouldn't want to lose that embarrassment, now, would we?

Correct: It may not be possible to save this sentence. Whether or not he is interrupted by the ringing of the phone, Blair will still be embarrassed by Jim's declaration, will he not?

4. Failing to maintain the indignity, Jim smiled.

Jim just couldn't keep that humiliation going.

Correct: indignation

5. Do you know why donkeys don't have utters like cows?

Because donkeys don't have as much to say as cows.

Correct: udders

6. If he hadn't had a concussion before, he undoubtably had one now.

Oh, undoubtably.

Correct: undoubtedly

7. Simon was hard pressed not to join them when he saw the items Lash had selected from Blair's personal belongings to create his next edifice.

Lash's hobby was constructing buildings from found objects.

Correct: HMG knows there is a word that the author wanted in place of edifice--which means a building and is not at all what was wanted here--but she cannot think what it is, nor can she find it in her dictionary or thesaurus. Therefore, she suggests substituting "shrine", as follows: "Simon was hard-pressed not to join them when he saw the items Lash had selected from Blair's personal belongings to create his next shrine."

***It has recently been suggested to HMG that "effigy"--a likeness--may be the word for which the author was searching. This seems to HMG to be highly probable. Many thanks to Kittie for the suggestion.

8. "Look, if your still dead set on going to the hospital, then let me drive you back to the loft at least."

If they really want to go, I think Simon could at least offer to drive them to the actual hospital, not just to the loft.

Correct: "Look, if you're still dead set against going...."

9. Jim replied letting his body wind down from the tension for the past few hours.

It takes Jim a really long time to wind down.

Correct: Jim replied, letting his body wind down from the tension of the past few hours.

10. Alex's voice broke through the vision, banishing it to the nether hell from wince it came.

Ooh, that hurts! That nether hell always makes me wince.

Correct: whence. Oh, and it should be "hell whence", as whence means "from where".

11. He soared above the pain, flew above the sorted, dirty perversions of other men who had stolen that freedom from him, had tried to make him a slave for their passions and their plots and schemes.

Sure, they were sordid, but at least they were neat. A place for every perversion, and every perversion in its place.

Correct: sordid

12. He couldn't help being concerned for Blair especially after almost loosing him.

Run for your lives! Blair's been loosed!

Correct: To "loose" something is to set it free. Jim is most likely afraid of "losing" Blair.

13. A rush of heat surround him as Jim ground his erected [body part]into his [body part].

Jim's really built.

Correct: Something that has been erected has been built or constructed. Jim ground his erect body part into the receptacle.

14. She has a fatal secrete and they are there at the end.

Oh, yuck!

Correct: If this was what the author actually meant, it would be "secretion", an emission or discharge. "Secrete" can also mean to hide, which is close to what the author really wants. But in this case, the woman in question has a fatal "secret".

15. I reflexively gagged as his warm seamen spurted down my throat, but managed to relax it and let him drive whatever was left, in.

Boy, those sailors will go anywhere. And sailors who sail on the Deep (Throat).

Correct: semen

16. Blair had seemed hit by a series of absent mindlessness several months ago... and today?

Poor Blair. His mind was always deserting him.

Correct: absent-mindedness. And, as one cannot have a series of such, perhaps a "spate" or "bout" will do.

17. Their a**holes, you know."

No, I don't know their a**holes, and I am insulted that you would make such an assumption.

Correct: They're. Because the author wanted to say "They are" not very nice people, not to speak of the rectums belonging to the persons in question. At least, that is HMG's assumption.

18. "Soup? Sandwich? Chile?"

Blair was so hungry, he could eat an entire South American country.

Correct: chili. Please take note: one "l" only, no matter how hot you might make it.

19. Carefully, he grabbed Blair by the waste, set the mop aside, and steered his semi-conscious friend into the bedroom.

Very, very carefully indeed.

Correct: The part of one's body below the ribs and above the hips is the "waist". "Waste" is refuse, rubbish, garbage, and other unsightly stuff. Please do not confuse the two. Blair will not thank you.

20. "I'm not jealous, I'm disgusted that you would ruin 'the fine art of fishing' as you love to put it, buy cheating."

So, Jim bought the fish? That is cheating.

Correct: by

21. My mental facilities are sound.

Well, that's good. We wouldn't want the institution to collapse while you're a patient there.

Correct: Facilities are accommodations, rooms, shelters, etc. What was wanted was mental faculties.

22. Ellison sat silently staring at the incumbent figure sleeping on his sofa and shook his head in disbelief

Blair took his sleeping on the sofa duties seriously.

Correct: Someone who is incumbent is already in office, performing his duties. Blair was recumbent.

23. Swiftly divesting the syringe of it's poly wrapper, he plunged the needle into the vile.

Well, ick.

Correct: vial

24. Somewhere in the corner of his mind he registered the sound of John as he knelt in the corner and wretched.

Well, at least he didn't retch (vomit). Then he'd really have been wretched (miserable).

Correct: John knelt in the corner and retched.

25. Painful contradictions of muscles ravaged his body and he hugged himself around his stomach with the other arm.

Contract! No, stretch! Not me, you do it!

Correct: A contradiction is a denial, rebuttal, argument, etc. What he had were contractions. "Painful muscle contractions ravaged his body, and he hugged his stomach." (Since HMG doesn't know what he was doing with that first arm, she hesitates to mention either.)

26. From a slash story: To Jim, it wouldn't be home without Blair and he couldn't bare it if Blair told him he wasn't coming home.

If Blair doesn't come home, Jim'll have to keep it covered.

Correct: bear

27. He found Blair hunched over his computer, elbows on his desk, hands grabbing his shaking head and mouthing a steady stream of epitaphs....

"Rest In Peace, damnit!"

Correct: An epitaph is what is carved upon a tombstone. Unless he has even more colorful speech patterns than we have previously been aware of, Blair was mouthing epithets.

28. We know how to be descrete.

We just don't know how to spell it.

Correct: Something that is discrete is separate or distinct from something else. HMG won't tell; she knows how to be discreet.

29. Faced with the object of his desire, Blair's tongue darted out and began lathing the reddened crown.

Yow! That's gotta hurt.

Correct: Lathing is shaping, planing, manufacturing. HMG hopes that Blair was laving the sensitive part in question.

30. Letting his imagination have free reign, he conjured up his vision of the perfect sentinel as he let his hands wander

Blair's always been ruled by his imagination.

Correct: While this sounds like it might be right--one who reigns is, after all, in control--in this case, the correct word is "rein", referring to allowing one's horse to go where it will, thus giving it "free rein".

31. Jim Ellison lay crumbled on the ground, with a tall young man standing over him.

Jim's gone to pieces!

Correct: Something that crumbles rots or degenerates, though falling to pieces is an apt description. Jim was crumpled on the ground. Technically, the word means crushed, but it has come to be used to describe someone falling with limbs bent, as though that person has been crumpled like a piece of paper.

32. Jim's eyes closed, as if he were trying to block out the memories by shear will alone.

Cut it out, Jim!

Correct: Shears are scissors, and one uses them to shear such things as sheep. Jim was blocking out memories by sheer (fragile, delicate) will, or by will alone, but not both.

33. "They found her?"

"Yeah, finally -- she'd been on some retreat in the Ganges.

Well, you know how hard it is to hear under water. And as for mail delivery....

Correct: The Ganges is a river. At the Ganges. By the Ganges. Near the Ganges. Just not in it.

34. He shirked out of his clothes and nudged them into the corner by the hamper with his foot, unwilling to handle them again until he had to.

Blair would do anything he could to get out of wearing clothes.

Correct: To shirk is to avoid something, as one's duty. Blair shucked out of his clothes, as one shucks an ear of corn by removing the protective outer leaves.

35. The pale coloring and evident ribs caused by malnutrition would change in time with good food and plenty of rest.

He may be starving, but he's got good bones. Lots of 'em. Extras, even.

Correct: While evident does mean visible, this is not the sense in which the word is properly used. It might be evident that he is starving, but what is wanted to describe his ribs is prominent. Even so, the ribs themselves will not change, no matter how much food one consumes. They will become less prominent, but they will still be the same old ribs.

36. Smith took one hand from the gun long enough to run it through his tassled hair.

He's always worn his hair in a fringe.

Correct: "tousled"

37. The court building's facade was pot marked with burning metal.

They'll build with anything these days.

Correct: "pock-marked by burning metal."

38a. Blair slid down to lay, gazing still at the leaping flames that warmed his body even as thoughts of Jim warmed his heart.

Blair's such a chicken. What I want to know is, does Jim get dibs on the eggs?

38b. Jim knelt down beside Blair, sliding down to lay with his elbow propping him up.

Never mind, Jim lays his own eggs.

Correct: If Jim and Blair "lay" on the floor, they are either producing eggs or having sex. Since neither man is a hen, and at this point in the story they are not yet having sex, what they do is "lie" on the floor.

39a. He sat ridged in the hard chair, his muscles tense, glaring at the smarmy defense attorney.

I'll bet that hurts.

39b. Jim shuddered and thrust more aggressively, feeling the ridged, warm length of Blair's (body part) against his through the silky fabric.

Blair's got one of those corrugated body parts.

Correct: Once again, HMG will remind you that "ridged" means having raised lines on the surface, while "rigid" means stiff and hard.

40. Jim wouldn't let Blair help him with the grizzly task.

Yeah, that job's a real bear.

Correct: "grisly"

41. Simon gave them a real balling out.

The pain can only be imagined.

Correct: "bawling"

42. "A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Detective Ellison."

And it's nice to meet you, too, Detective Ellison.

Correct: Either "A pleasure to meet you, Detective Ellison." Or "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Detective Ellison."

43. "Up and adam, Chief."

And see if you can get hold of Eve, too.

Correct: The expression is "up and at 'em".

44. He scrabbled for the door handle, and got out of the car on Jim's side, handing Blair the denotator as he did.

Hey, Blair, denote that for me, will you?

Correct: HMG is almost certain that this author meant "detonator".

45a. Knowing Jim would dial up his sense of touch to feel the sensations better, he continued up the taunt body, watching Jim toss his head on the back of the couch as he did.

45b. Blair's hands didn't slow, they continued their exploration, running over taunt muscles,

That Jim, such a tease.

Correct: This has shown up in so many different stories that HMG can't dismiss it as a simple typo. To "taunt" means to mock; "taut" means tightly stretched, and is what these authors want.

46. The murders were the providence of the Cascade P.D.'s Homicide Department, who had only just asked the Major Crimes Unit to assist in the case yesterday morning.

Thank God for this case!

Correct: "province"

47. He should be happy that the detective was trying to make a mends with his younger brother.

Though Jim and Steven had often worked on projects together, they had never made a mends before, and had to spend a lot of time reading the mends instruction book.

Correct: "amends"



Part 4