Matrix II: Wow! What a great movie!

Naw. . . I'm just messing with you. I'd write a review for Mark's website on Matrix Deux, but I can't think of more original ways to say "It stinks" than every other review hitherto written. I somehow thought that I would find it interesting, amusing, enjoy cool special effects, or find something vaguely redeeming, but it sucked worse than any movie, including Pacino's Looking for Richard. Now that's really saying it sucked. If I had seen Gigli - and I haven't - I'd say it sucked worse than that. It couldn't have sucked more if it had the patent on an electrified sucking machine operated by a master at sucking on the most sucking day of the most sucking year. The Boston Globe put it best by calling it another serving of the Wachowsky brother's theosophical bong water. Well said. I just say it sucked. And I fucking watched it. Shame on me.

So to conclude my review on the Matrix 2.0: It sucked. Lets rate a few movies to compare it:

• personal favorites: Enemies at the Gate, Blues Brothers, Big Lebowski, Raising Arizona
• other favorites: Silverado, Pirates of the Carribbean,
• always good for a silly laugh: Blazing Saddles, Ghostbusters, Austin Powers I, Road Trip & Old School, Life of Brian
• not ashamed to admit I liked it favorite: Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Harry Potter I & II, Deuce Bigalow, Undercover Brother
• Classics: Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Indiana Jones I and III
• amusing favorites: Men in Black, Independence Day, Star Wars (the 1977 one)

Suck Fest from sucky to suckiest

• Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
• Star Wars Episode I
• Star Wars Episode II (except for Natalie Portman's midriff-baring scenes)
• Looking for Richard (didn't even finish it, it sucked so bad)
• Austin Powers II and III (though there were moments of humor)
• and Matrix II

Bottom line: Matrix II SUCKED. In a more just society, the Wachowski brothers would be castrated, beheaded, and their heads placed on a stake with teh warning "Ye Directors be Warned"

Matrix II sucked. Word.

MIE

Thanks for the anger Micah! If you would like to rant and rave, drop me a line at gleep9@hotmail.com. Go back to either the Third Movie or Main page, neither of which suck.