As your walk through the old-style saloon doors underneath the neon sign, the music coming from inside immediately tells you that this place is not like any others......Creatures from all walks life....yes, creatures...sit around gibbering about everything from Descartes to traffic on Intergalactic Route 94. You sidle up to the bar, sitting between a three-headed alien and...well, he LOOKS Like Elvis anyway......
The bartender eyes you up and smiles. "You're not from around here are you? This place is where Yorick lets his imagination run wild and free. It's a place for him to put his thoughts and to talk about the things that are currently bothering him. It's your lucky night. Yorick will be on later tonight."
Surveying the place, your eyes are caught by a very odd-looking contraption that seems to be a cross between a Wurlitzer and a helicopter engine. You reckon that this is some kind of cosmic jukebox....unfortunately the selections' names are in an unfamiliar tongue. But the tunes are vaguely familiar.....
Suddenly the lights in the bar dim and they come up on the poet's corner. The stage is bare except for a stool and an ashtray for those artists who smoke. A man in a beatnik's beret comes on stage and leans into the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen," he says in a rattlesnake whisper, "Please welcome..the man of infinite jest.....Yorick."
Applause mixed with finger-snaps rush the man taking the stage. He is dressed all in black except for a purple and yellow jester's hat that hangs mournfully over his face. He steps up to the microphone.
"Which side of the Star War am I on? Am I a Jar-Jar-hating, over-critical, wing-tipped Grinch that is secretly jealous that I wasn't cast in the new movie, or am I a frothing fanboy incapable of clean judgement because I'm blinded by the battery powered Lightsaber I carry with me at all times? Unsurprisingly, I consider myself on neutral ground between the two...
George Lucas couldn't have lived up to the hype if he had built a time machine and gotten William Shakespeare to ghost write the script and gotten Jesus Christ and George Washington cameos. Everyone complains about the overhyping of the movie and I ask you, when did everything start? Two weeks before the movie. This is no different than the industry standard that had accompanied every summer since Star Wars was first released. Go get your collector's cups with their Godzilla cup holders and get a nice tall glass of 'Shut the Hell up.' Media outlets picked it up because of the people who would pay money to see "Meet Joe Black" watch the preview and leave and the hardcore fans that were elbowing the homeless for street space outside of Mann's Chinese Theater.
On the other hand, Lucas's movie is the greatest example of why sequels are risky propositions. Sequels attempt to recreate the magic of previous movies, a feat which is kind of like randomly mixing chemicals and hoping to find a compund that can be used as a floor wax and a dessert topping. Add to this the ferocity of sci-fi fans and everyone and their mother wanting to see this movie, and Lucas knew that he could only make a movie that could entertain some of the people some of the time. So, he did what he had to do. He made the movie he wanted and didn't bow to outside pressure. I say good for him.
So,what about the armies ready to clash over his movie? Well, fanboy, you didn't like it? What would you have done instead? Three movies about Boba Fett and Leia in her slave outfit? I know plenty of people who didn't like the movie, but when I ask them what Lucas should have done instead they go quiet. And to the critics who didn't like the movie, you're entitled to your opinion. Just remember that the top ten grossing movies list is made up of movies that appeal to a braod audience and not intellignet filmgoers. How else can you explain 'Home Alone'? Star Wars is populist cinema, not art. If you want art, go to a film school and watch them and their 45 minutes movies of dwarves playing accordions.
Me? I'll stick with Jedi Fu.
A strange looking alien pulls on your coat. "You like what he says, eh? I made some bootlegs of his older stuff if you want, eh? I also got some pictures of that Jennifer Love Hewitt, eh?"
Pick a tape...
"Guns Don't Kill People, Nerds Do!"
After nursing a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, you toss five bucks on the counter...at least, you hope they take your currency here.
You make your way out the door and decide to.....