Detour

Agt. Stonecypher: "Did you play that game where you couldn't use any negative words?"
Agt. Kinsley: "I could not believe how hard it was not to use the word 'but'."
Mulder: "I'm having that same problem right now."
Stonecypher: "Have you ever been to a team seminar Agent Mulder?"
Mulder: "No, unfortunately around this time of year I always develop a severe hemoroidal condition."

Scully: "Mulder, we've got the conference, they're waiting."
Mulder: "Yes, how do I say this without using any negative words, Scully?"
Scully: "You want me to tell them that we're not going to make it to this year's teamworks seminar."
Mulder: "See, we don't need that conference. We have commumication like that, unspoken. You know what I'm thinking."

Mulder: "Who cut the cheese?"
Scully: "Since we won't be making it to the conference."
Mulder: "PAR-TY"
Scully: "However, I must remind you this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment."
Mulder: "Try any of that tailhook crap on me, Scully, and I'll kick your ass."

Scully: "Mulder, we're in western Florida. The closest thing to primative here is living in a beachfront retirement condo."

Scully: "Where are you going?"
Mulder: "I have to check something out."
Scully: "You know, Mulder, sometimes I think that some work on your communications skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."
Mulder: "I'll be back soon and we can build a tower of furniture. Okay?"

Jeff Glaser: "If we become blinded by the beauty of nature, we may fail to see its cruelty and violence."
Scully: "Walt Witman?"
Glaser: "No. 'When Animals Attack' on the FOX network."

Mulder: "They became known as the Moth Men. I have an X-File dating back to 1952 on them."
Scully: "What would that be filed next to, the cockroach that ate Cincinnati?"
Mulder: "No, the cockroach that ate Cincinnati's over in the C's and Moth Men is in the M's."

Scully trying to start a fire: "You were an Indian guide, help me out here."
Mulder: "The Indian guide says maybe you should run to the store and get some matches."
Scully: "I would, but I left my wallet in the car."

Scully: "Do I detect a hint of negativity?"
Mulder: "No! Yes. Actually, maybe."

Mulder: "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody already naked."
Scully: "Well, maybe if we bring sleeping bags, you'll get lucky."

Scully: "Have you ever thought seriously about dying?"
Mulder: "Yeah, once, when I was at the Icecapades."
Scully: "When I was fighting my cancer, I was angry at the injustice of it, its meaninglessness, and then I realized that that was a strugle, to give it meaning, to make sense of it. Like life."
Mulder: "I think nature's supremely indifferent to us whether we live or die. I mean, if you're lucky, you get 75 years. If you're really lucky, you get 80 years. If you're extraordinarily lucky, you get to have 50 of those years with a decent head of hair."

Mulder: "Hey, who did you identify with when you were a kid, Wilma or Betty?"
Scully: "I identified with Betty's bustline."
Mulder: "Yes, I did, too!"

Scully tries to move Mulder onto her lap.
Mulder: "I don't want to wrestle."
Scully: "Get over here."

Mulder: "Why don't you sing something?"
Scully: "No, Mulder."
Mulder: "If you simg something, I'll know you're awake."
Scully: "Mulder, you don't want me to sing. I can't carry a tune."
Mulder: "It doesn't matter, sing anything."
Scully sings "Joy to the World"

Scully: "I fell down a hole!"
Mulder: "You alright?"
Scully: "Yeah. I landed on soft dirt...kind of."

Scully: "Mulder?"
Mulder: "Yeah."
Scully: "I'm not alone."
Mulder: "Well, I've been saying that we weren't alone for years. You're just catching on now?!?"
Ok, so Mulder didn't really say that last line, but it would have been pretty funny if he did!

Mulder: "Too bad we don't have any office furniture."
Scully: "If they could see us now."
Mulder: "Go team! Twenty more bodies and we'll wim the honey-baked ham."