Okay, these are some of the funniest or most interessting lines that I found on the net and by going through all my Buffy tapes. Send me any that you think should be up here that I missed. Enjoy!
Buffy: Cool, crossbow, check out these babies. Goodbye stakes! Helloooo flying fatality!
Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.
Willow: Okay, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-I'm -dating-a-skanky-ho
Buffy: Meow!
Willow: Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a meow before.
Buffy: Well deserved.
Willow: Darn tootin'
Kendra: The Slayer Handbook insists on it.
Buffy: Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a t-shirt too? 'Cause that would be cool.
Oz: Do you often steal weapons from the military base?
Willow: Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun!
Ms. Calendar: Cordelia's going to meet us.
Xander: Ooh gang, you here that? A bonus day of class plus cordelia, mix in a little rectal surgery and it's my best day ever.
Xander: Hey, larvae boy! Yeah, I'm talking to you, ya big cootie!
Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A bitca?
Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with dead boy on this one.
Angel: Would you not call me that?
Xander: Oh please forgive me your swim teamliness.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.
Xander: On a scale of one to ten? It sucked.
Xander: I kind of had a problem with the math.
Willow: Which part?
Xander: The math.
Xander: Whoa, let's stop this crazy whirlygig of fun. I'm dizzy.
Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel - why does every conversation we have have to end up on that freak?
(Looks up to see Angel)
Hey, how's it going?
Xander: Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knockin'?
Jonathan: We're supposed to get some books...on Stalin.
Xander: Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?
Giles: This is a school library, Xander.
Xander: Since when?
Giles: He's just trying to provoke you, to taunt you, to-to goad you into, uh, some mishap or some other sorts.
Xander: The nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah approach to battle.
Giles: Yes, Xander. Once more you've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form.
Xander: Hey, how come Buffy doesn't get a snotty 'once again you boil it down to the simplest form' thing?
Giles: ...
Xander: Watcher's pet.
Xander: Well, good morning, ladies! And what did you two do last night?
Willow: We had kind of a pajama party sleepover with weapons thing.
Xander: Oh, I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment?
Xander: I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying 'I told you so' long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the, uh, fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say, 'Faster, pussycat, kill, kill.'
Cordelia: Look, Buffy, we'ver never really been close - which is cool cause I don't really like you that much... But you have saved the world on occasion, so I'm going to give you some advice. Get over it. Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever. Just get over it. Cause pretty soon you won't even have the loser friends you've got now.
Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say I'm a friend.
Buffy: Well, maybe I don't want a friend!
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.
Angel: Danced with is a pretty loose term - mated with would probably be more accurate.
Angel: See - every time we fight, you bring up the vampire thing.
Spike: So, who do you kill for fun around here?
Spike: You were there? Please... if every vampire who said he was at the crucifixtion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock. I was actually at Woodstock. That was a wierd gig. I fed off a flower person and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move.
Spike: Yeah, I did a couple slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I LOVE to brag.
Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell all my friends. None of them have a rock this big."
Giles: Oh, look at my mask, isn't it pretty. It raises the dead. Bloody Americans.
Giles: Testosterone is a great equalizer. It turns all men into morons.
Buffy: A Demon! A Demon!!
Willow: Its not a demon, its a car.
Buffy: What does it want?
Buffy: I'm an old fashoined gal.I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.
Buffy: Well look who's here
Angel: Hi
Buffy: I'd say it was nice to see you but we both know thats a big fib.
Angel: I won't stay long
Buffy: No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catsatrophe and then disappear into the night, right?
Angel: You're cold
Buffy: You can take it
Angel: I mean you look cold
Willow: That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it wrong
Xander: For what? For Angel to go psycho the next time you give him a Happy?
Principal Snyder: Woh, Summers, you drive like a Spaz!
Coach Marin: You've got quite an imagination, missy.
Buffy: Right now I'm imagining you you in jail wearing a big orange
suit,and-oh look! The guards are beating you!
Willy: I'm living right, Angel.
Angel:Sure you are,Willy. And I'm taking up
sunbathing.
Angel: I want to learn from you.
Whistler: Okay.
Angel: But I don't want to dress like you.
Whistler: And what a package you(Angel) are! The Stink guy!
Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.
Willow: Uh, Angel, if I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: I guees I need help.
Willow: Help? You mean like on homework? No, cause you're old and already know stuff.
Cordelia: What?
Giles: I'm sorry...your hair.
Cordelia: There's something wrong with my hair? Oh my god.
Giles: Xander was right. It worked like a charm.
Buffy: It's not noise. It's music.
Giles: I know music. Music has notes. This is noise.
Cordelia: Feels like home. If it's the '50's and you're a psycho.
Giles: Do you know, I don't ever recall ever seeing you here(the library) before.
Cordelia: Oh, no.I have a life.
Giles: She(Buffy) has taken a human life. The guilt...is pretty hard to bear. It won't
go away soon.
Cordelia: I guess you should know since you helped raise that Demon that killed that guy that time.
Giles: Yes, let's bring that up as often as possible.
Xander: ...Cordy, you should with Giles.
Giles: But why do I have-Good thinking. I could use a research assistant.
Cordelia: Let's go tact guy.
Xander: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good.
Buffy: Your a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that an offencive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?
Cordelia: Excuse me. Who gave you permission to exist?
Buffy: I won't wear my button saying, 'I'm a slayer,ask me how'.
