She could tell me that I was going to die tomorrow and I wouldn't care as long as she told me topless.
Plot:
Mallrats tells the story of two slackers T.S. (Jeremy London) and Brodie (Jason Lee) who after being dumped by there respective girlfriends they head for the one place that Brodie knows will help them get over there troubles, the mall. Little do they know that both of there ex-girlfriends just happen to be there. They proceed to wander around with no agenda untill they hatch a compleatly insain scam to win back there girlfriends. They inlist the help of the two guys who have even less to do that them, Jay and Silent Bob.
Story
After making his critically acclaimed film-making debut with "Clerks" (which was released by Miramax) Kevin signed a deal with Gramercy pictures (which is owned by Universal Studios) for his second film. Working on Mallrats turned out to be a completely diferent experience than working independently on Clerks. First of all the budget was over $6,000,000 dollars as compared to the $27,000 for Clerks. While working with a studio defiantly means more money, it also means less freedom, as Kevin soon learned.
When Gramercy gave Kevin a budget of $6 million he tried to turn it down. He said that he could do it for half of what they were projecting. They said that was what a real movie cost. When he brought up Clerks they said that was not a real movie (the heretics). If the studio is putting up there money than they want people who have some experience (leading to the catch 22 of how do you get experience when no one will hire you because of your lack of experience) they put some producers who they had worked with before on the project. Scott Mosier was only included mostly just because Kevin wanted him on the project. This experience clause counts even more with actors than with the creative team. That's why Shannen Doherty (who has a supporting role) gets listed first in the credits. They also wanted Kevin to replace Jason "Jay" Mewes with an actor who was more well known. Would have been a horrible idea considering that Mewes is the funniest actor in the entire movie. Of course they do not want anything that an audience might consider offensive (studios feel it is better to underestimate the audience) they made Kevin remove a section script that had two guys talking about injures that they had sustained while "going down" on girls. The scene later reappeared in Chasing Amy only between a straight guy and a lesbian.
As if messing with the movie that much was not enough they folks at Gramercy proved that they
could not even market the movie in a way that would pull in the audience that would like it. The
short theater run resulted in the movie undergrossing Clerks, very bad thing (especially on a
directors second film). Another factor that did not help was the fact that all of the critics who
praised Clerks hated this one. They accused him of selling out, called him a one hit wonder,
ect. Dispite all of this it still achieved a cult status among many fans mostly by word of mouth after
it was released on video. Kevin jokingly called it the Blade Runner of teen comedy, since
Blade Runner flopped at the box office and is now considered a classic.
My thoughts on why it didn't receive a better audience/critical reaction.
When critics praise a directors first effort as highly as Clerks was praised there is almost guaranteed to be a backlash. The critics devide into two camps. Camp 1 is expecting the directors second effort to top the first. They are sure that it will be the next Citizen Kane, there expectations are so high there is no way any film could meet them. Camp 2 is waiting to declare him a one hit wonder. They are already thinking up negative comments for there review before they enter the theater. When they are so ready to hate
it there's no way to change there mind.
There's nothing worse than getting to a party and finding out that you're the first one there. After Mallrats Kevin knows what that feels like. After such great success on Clerks he felt he had the power to resurrect the raunchy R-rated comedy, a genre which ended about the time the eighties did. As the reception that he got indicated people were not ready for that kind of comedy. As There's Something About Mary's over $100 million take at the box office indicated America is now ready for a raunchy R-rated comedy again. Kevin just arrived there about 3 years too early.
Trivia
Contrary to popular belief Kevin never apologized for this movie. He has said that he is proud of this little teen
comedy and does not think that it is anything to be ashamed of. The story about him apologizing for it came from the
independent spirit awards when he jokingly apologized and said that he doesn't know what he was thinking when he did Mallrats. He thought that it was perfectly clear that he was just joking but than Roger Ebert started off his
review of Chasing Amy by saying that Mallrats was so bad that Kevin actually apologized for
it.
In the original draft of the script there was a scene where Jay and Silent bob were watching Gwen in the dressing room and jerking off; when they shoot the cum goes over the wall and ends up in her hair. Producer Jim Jacks told Kevin that jiz in the hair was too disgusting and would never be funny. Cut to summer of 98 There's Something About Marry does the jiz in the hair picture of their poster and makes over $100 million.
One of the stores in the mall is a carpet store called Rug Munches. In Chasing Amy Bankie uses Rug
Muncher as a derogatory term for a lesbian.
Cut Scenes
Origional Opening
Mallrat's original filmed opening took place at Monmouth State University at the governor's ball. Mr.
Svenning is there to accept a donation to his public access channel from the Governor (Elizabeth Ashley.) T.S. is going to appear in the drama club's presentation and is dressed as a revolutionary war soldier complete with a gun
that is loaded with a blank. He and Brandi get into a fight because she has agreed to be on her father's game show. Brandi walks away from T.S. and he follows her. When she stops he runs into her and gets the gun caught in her hair. As they try to free it the gun discharges, making the governor's guards think that there is a sniper on the roof. When the governor finds out that one of the people who created such a spectacle is Svenning's daughter she rips up the check that he is supposed to get. Brandi dumps T.S. and Mr. Svenning swears that he will have his revenge
on him.
The Scene where Rene dumps Brodie plays out basically the same as in the final version. After Rene dumps
Brodie TS shows up and is greeted with "well if it isn't mon freir; the last time I saw you it was on CNN taking shots
at public officials." Their greeting is cut short when a truck full of reporters shows up and begins firing off questions. They go inside and Brodie asks if TS was trying to impress Jodi Foster by assassinating the governor. They go down to Brodie's room and he shows T.S. Rene's letter. When Brodie mentions that one part of the letter says that he has no job TS asks him what he does for money and Brodie responds "Blood bank Sperm bank I'm currently considering the I bank." When Brodie hits upon the idea of going to the mall TS resists but than Brodie suggests that on the way to the mall they can stop over at Brandi's house and patch things up. TS agrees to go when two network TV reps stick their heads into Brodie's window and offer to buy his story (the CBS guy says that they will pay more money than NBC and will get Drew Barrymore to play his girlfriend).
They ditch the news guys and drive to Brandi's house only to see a "Hard Edition" van. Brodie offers to
distract the tabloid guys so TS can sneak around the back and see Brandi. When Brodie gets in front of the cameras he starts hamming it up and claims that the Svennings practice satanic worship and takes the cameras around back where they stick their camera in the Svennings' window and see Mr. Svenning dancing around in a towel which promptly falls off, exposing his bare ass to the camera. Than he spots them, goes outside with a shot gun and threatens to call the cops.
As they drive to the mall's parking lot the music from 2001 plays. In the parking lot Brodie says that he
doesn't know what Svenning was so mad about "they'll digitally erase his organ when they air the footage." TS
says that he's going home and that it's Brodie's fault for taking the new crew back there just because he wanted to
be on TV. Brodie tells TS that if something like getting her shot at can break him and Brandi up than maybe the
relationship wasn't on firm ground to begin with. Than a strange woman walks up to Brodie and shows him her
tongue (the woman is actually Jason Lee's wife Carmen Lee). Inside the mall we see the montage of stores that
Kevin eventually used in the opening of the final cut.
After having a test screening where the audience hated that opening they went back and shot the footage of Brandi and T.S. talking about Julie Dwyer drowning in the pool at the YMCA. You can tell because T.S.'s hair is longer than in the rest on the movie. The only parts of the original opening that made it in were the Brodie/Rene breakup and Mr. Svenning dancing around in the towel. They decided that Michael Rooker's ass was funny enough to keep in.
Because of the elimination of the whole mistaken assignation on the governor they had to alter several scenes where characters referred back to it.
When Brodie and TS first talk to Willam he says that he saw T.S. on TV "I think it was on Baywatch.
BRODIE:
CNN Willam.
WILLAM:
Oh yea, didn't you kill the pope or something?
T.S.:
I got a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair for Christ's sake!
That exchange was completely eliminated
When TS and Brodie first approach Jay and Silent Bob
Jay:
Holy shit what do we have here Mister America's most wanted himself.
T.S.:
I got a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair
Brodie:
ex-girlfriend
Got re-dubbed to
JAY:
And look at this shit the mad fat chick killer
T.S.:
I can't believe how fast word travalls in this town
BRODIE:
Excilent
While TS and Shannon Hamilton are waiting for Brodie and Rene to come out of the elevator Shannon tells T.S. that he looks familiar.
T.S.:
Couldn't be, I'm never at the mall.
SHANNON
No it's not from the mall. I know you're the guy from the news; that kidnapped the president's daughter and threw her off the roof.
A large crowd which gathered around them backs away.
TS:
I got a musket tangled in my girlfriend's hair for christ's sake.
Durring the stink palm sequence Svenning tells T.S. that he cost him a grant from the state and asks Brodie if he has seen his family doing any more satanic rituals, all of which got cut.
When TS and Brodie are walking through the parking lot after returning from Miss Ivannah's a guy comes running up
Guy:
Didn't I see you on CNN?
TS slugs him
Becomes
Guy:
Hey aren't you the guy who broke up with Brandi Svenning?
TS slugs him
After contestants 1 and 2 get stoned Gil Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) tells T.S. that he looks familiar
BRODIE:
look man don't give him any shit all right
GIL (to stagehand):
Isn't this guy from Monmouth State, him and that crazy broad tried to kill the governor.
Gets re-dubbed to
GIL
Didn't Mr. Svenning have you arrested?
During the gameshow when T.S. and Brandi start fighting Brandi talks about the fact that T.S. got her shot at and got her father's bare ass on national TV. They went back and reshot footage of Brandi sitting in the chair talking about Julie Dwyer. The reshot footage is easy to spot because Brandi's hair looks different and the light is a little different.
Other Cut Footage
There was also some stuff that got cut out for time or to make a scene run smoother. Some of that stuff got shown when ABC Network aired the movie.
When T.S. first gets to Brandi's house she is wearing thick rimed glasses and he gets her to do a little imitation of Clark Kent telling Lois he's really Superman.
When Brodie first sees that Rene's in the mall those kids who Willam told there is no Easter bunny go by crying.
At the comic shop Brodie does more complaining about the line before running into Steve-Dave and Walt.
When Shannon is beating up Brodie he takes longer and taunts him more about screwing Rene in a very uncomfortable
place.
T.S. almost pukes when Svenning eats the pretzels after the stink palm.
After Trish gives Jay the video tape he sees La Fours standing right above Silent Bob.
JAY:
If he sees him he'll kill him
TRISH:
Who?
JAY:
Silent bob, he's my fucking boy, man what am I going to fucking do?
Trish goes up to La Fours and asks him to help her with some psychobehavioral research, than we see the two of them having sex. Which explains why they are together in the "where are they now" stuff during the credits.
After Svenning grabs Roody and asks "what the fuck is going on up there?" He tells Roody to call the cops.
When Brodie goes backstage and asks Jay if the tape is ready Jay asks if Brodie has seen Lafours. Brodie says no and Jay comments that he thought that was real close for a second there.
When the cops show up one of them comes repelling down from the second level.
They thought that for the video of Trish and Shannon having sex the shot of him railing her from behind might be to harsh so they had some alternate footage. In one take Shannon is in a dress and says he likes to have sex dressed as a woman. In another they are joking around after sex.
After the TV network execs tell Svenning that his show sucks the cops arrest him for violating 19 FCC regulations.
In the where are they now stuff Shannon's clip is longer and it shows his facial reactions as he is getting screwed in a very uncomfortable place.
There is also a where are they now for Svenning and his assistant Roddy, which has them working as janitors at the network office.