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What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal.
 

 Q. What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking ?
 A. Slow down and use a lubricant.

 Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives womenwild?
 A. Money

 Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job ?
 A. After five years your job will still suck.

 Q: What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig ?
 A: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own.

 Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds ?
A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Q: What do blondes and the Bermuda triangle have in common ?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony ?
A. It's not hard.

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony ?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

 Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony ?
 A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

 Q: What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping Tom?
 A: A pick pocket snatches watches.

 Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering ?
 A: More head room.

 Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common ?
 A: They are both used as substitute meat.

 Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
 A: One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year!

 Q: What do old women have between their breasts that young women don't ?
 A: A bellybutton!

 Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts ?
 A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.(EWWWWWWWW)

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Disclaimer This is all in the name of fun and laughter. All I want to do is spread a little laughter and make you smile to make your day better. So smile a little and laugh a little and past it on. It is the best medicine in the world. Mark Twain thought laughter could ever prevent wars. 
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