Regis: Welcome to another episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Today's episode is a special one, with special guests from the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling. Let's welcome our guests! We've got Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, and, of course, the man himself! Harry Potter!

(play a nifty song and all stand and wave a little)

Regis: All right! Now, on to the first test. Contestants, prepare your buzzers. (pauses) All right! Now, the question is...(speaks very quickly) What is the name of Harry Potter's pet owl?

(Harry's hand shoots up first, followed very closely by Hermione's. Lockhart jumps up, hands on his hips, and says 'Orange peel!' and Draco just sits there and smirks.)

Regis: (pointing at Harry) Yes, Harry?

Harry: The answer is Hedwig, Regis.

Regis: That's correct! (Hermione pouts) Come on up and we'll begin the game! (Harry goes up and sits across from Regis) How are you today, Harry?

Harry: I'm doing really great, Regis. Excited to be here!

Dobby: Dobby is excited for Harry Potter, too!

Regis: (nods) And we're glad to have you here. All right, let's go to our first question, shall we? (Harry nods) Okay. For five thousand Galleons, where did J.K. Rowling get Harry's last name from? Was it a. her puppy, b. a childhood friend, c. a guy who makes stuff out of clay, or d. none of the above?

(Harry ponders for a moment, and Hermione's hand shoots into the air)

Hermione: Oh! I know! I know the answer to this one!

Lockhart: (leans over and whispers to Draco) It's d, isn't it? I know it's d. I've got a friend who works on the set you know. Show business and all that. (nods sagely, and Draco sneers at him)

Harry: Hmm, well, I think I'm going to go with b on this one, Regis. Final answer.

Regis: (pauses) B is correct! (crowd cheers) Okay, now, for the ten thousand Galleon question: What is the name of Harry's best friend at Hogwarts? Is it a. Severus Snape, b. Deadalus Dingle, c. Ron Weasley, or d. French Guinea?

(Harry ponders more, Hermione raises her hand, and Draco snorts indignantly)

Draco: Hey! How come I'm not up there! I was like, his best friend!! (Harry rolls his eyes)

Harry: The answer is c. Final answer.

Regis: (pauses) Correct! (crowd cheers) Now. For the fifty thousand Galleon question. You ready? (Harry nods) Okay. In the book The Chamber of Secrets, what sort of animal did J.K. Rowling use to represent evil? Was it a. Flies, b. Mongoose, c. snakes, or d. Pickles?

Harry: (thinks for a while) Regis, I think I'd like to ask the audience that one. (Regis nods and the members of the audience write on cards and hold them up)

Lockhart: (card says Pickles) I eat pickles all the time, let me tell you!

Hermione: (card says C!!!!!!)

Draco: (card says Draco Malfoy)

Dobby: (throws a crumpled piece of paper with the word Snake! on it at Harry, who reads it aloud.)

Harry: (looks at all the answers and finally chooses one) Well...I think I'll go with c, Regis. Final answer.

Regis: (pauses) That's right! Congratulations, Harry! We're now on the one hundred thousand Galleon question. What, exactly, is Dobby? Is he a. a snake, b. a tree, c. a corndog, or d. a house elf?

Dobby: (throws a paper airplane at Harry)

Harry: (unfolds it and reads aloud) I is not a corndog...(looks oddly at Dobby)

Regis: Any ideas yet, Harry?

Harry: (ponders for a very long time.) I...I think I'd like to phone a friend on this one, Regis.

Regis: (nods) Who would you like to call?

Harry: I'd like to call Mrs. Anderson, please. (Regis puts her through, and Harry asks her the question. After talking to her he makes a choice.) I think I'm going with d here, Regis. Final answer.

Regis: You're right! Good job, Harry! Wow, on to the five hundred thousand Galleon question. Are you ready? (Harry nods) Okay. Which character does J.K Rowling relate with herself? Is it a. Hermione Granger, b. Ron Weasley, c. Draco Malfoy, or d. Gilderoy Lockhart?

Harry: (thinks for a minute) I...gosh, I'm not sure. I'm...pretty sure it's not Draco, he's a slimy little git, (Draco sticks his tongue out) but...but I don't know. (Hermione is jumping up and down with her hand in the air) Gosh...I guess... well..

Hermione: IT'S ME!!!!

Harry: (startled, looks at her) Uh, I guess I'll say a. Final answer.

Regis: (glares at Hermione) That's correct. Now, for the very last question. What is Hogwarts? Is it a. a school of witchcraft and wizardry, b. a water tower, c. Chicago, or d. a Twinkie manufacturer?

Harry: (ponders more) Gosh. Wait...I think I know it! Just give me a second...

Lockhart: (jumps to his feet) I know the answer, never fear young Harry! It's Chicago!

Hermione: (punches him) No it's not! It's a water tower you idiot!

Draco: (stands between them) Are you guys sure? I'm sort of leaning towards the Twinkie thing...those things are good!

Harry: (glances between them all frantically) Um. Um. Um. Is it....is it...I think it's a! Final answer!

Regis: (sighs) That's right, Harry. You win the Million Galleons. But you have to get those freaks out of here before I call the police. (points at the other three)