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 Well, the asylum may be closed, but that doesn't necessarily stop a bunch of mentally disturbed people from hanging out in there. One of these crazies just happens to be a deformed lawyer who watches Tod Slaughter movies and kills unwanted teenagers. The acting is horrible beyond words. It's unclear whether the cast is deliberately performing bad or the director simply has a hearing problem. Just to name a few examples, there's the female leader of a punk rock band who punctuates nearly every sentence with the most labored laughter on the planet, and there's a dumb blonde whose acting is wooden enough to give you splinters. Except for maybe the villain, everyone sounds like they're struggling to read their lines off their cue cards. It doesn't exactly help to have bad lines like "Mr. Killer! I'm looking for ya!", but then again, the movie might have been intended to be a parody of itself, albeit a very weak one. Even the horror effects are substandard. For instance, after the lawyer snips off five toes from one of his teenage victims, the toeless foot remains remarkably bloodless. Either the teen has incredible blood clotting abilities or the film crew has an absent-minded make-up artist. Another laughable example is the punk rock leader being sent though some strange machine which oinks like a pig and compresses her into a cube of flesh. For some reason, this cube has a spring sticking out of it. The ending, not to be revealed here, is dumb, but you might have to see it twice to remember what it is. Overall, "Doom Asylum" is a sub-par horror movie, though the scene with the flesh cube is good for a laugh. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the better the movie. 12 dots on the domino is the best rating while no dots means the tape has a date with the eraser. ** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.