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 Yikes! This is one home video that should've stayed at home, but unfortunately horror movie distributors had other ideas. The acting here is about as emotionless as it can possibly get. The cast sounds as though they've all had a lobotomy. The protagonist sounds like a heavily-sedated Ferris Bueller and bears a slight resemblance to "Baba Booey" from the Howard Stern show. Probably the best thing about "Night Crawlers" is the special effects, which is no compliment because they're basicaly the same kind as what comes with cheap video cameras, but at least some of them could pass under the "so bad it's entertaining" category. When the night crawlers attack a cat and the owner finds it later, you get to laugh your ass off as the movie shows a cut-up picture of the cat's head superimposed on screen. I had to put that scene on pause for a minute because it was so unintentionally hilarious. I also loved the huge styrofoam eyes and non-moving jaws from the Night Crawlers themselves, but admittedly for the wrong reason. Also good for a laugh is a scene where the Nightcrawlers' model spaceship is getting bombarded with fireworks. Overall, "Night Crawlers" just barely misses the absolute lowest rating because it made me laugh pretty hard, but beyond that, I'd avoid this direct-to-video as 'twere the plague. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the better the movie. If it's a DVD with a rating of 3 dots or less, you might as well consider it to be a Deadly Venereal Disease instead of a Digital Video Disk. ** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.