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 "Troll II" is the epitome of unintentional hilarity. I was either laughing or shaking my head throughout the whole film. Everything about this movie is bad, but at least it's bad in an entertaining way. Unlike "Troll" which actually has a troll in it, "Troll II" has no trolls whatsoever. Instead of trolls, the movie has goblins which look like a bunch of kids wearing Halloween masks and brown robes. This is not an exaggeration, but I've seen much better acting from elementary school plays (rehearsals too)! The script is inimitably awful with lines like "They're eating her...And then they're going to eat me...OH MY GOD!!" and "You're a genius, big sister!" There is nothing quite like it. Ed Wood might have made an artform out of ineptitude, but this movie--courtesy of "Drake Floyd"--takes this "artform" to a new level. Only in "Troll II" do you get a weird, wide-eyed woman who turns people into plants and then feeds them to an army of vegetarian goblins. If that isn't enough, this whacko takes off her glasses, lets down her hair, and manages to seduce a teenage boy with...a corncob! Only in "Troll II" do you get a burly minister who preaches against "stinking, disgusting meat" with the snarling delivery of a wrestler. And only in "Troll II" do you have an undead grandfather who freezes time and helps his grandson save the day with...a double-decker bologna sandwich?! I don't know what the suits at Columbia were on when they produced this picture, but it must have been some pretty heavy sh*t. The bottom line: If you want to make fun of something with a friend, then run out and rent "Troll II" NOW! It completely delivers in that sense, and you could even torture humorless individuals with it. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots, the higher the rating. A dozen dots mean that the movie is a masterpiece while one or no dots means that the movie is about as much fun as kissing a cactus. ** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.