BAKING VS. AUTOMAKING


Just when the white Escort was a bad memory for Ghost Deer, it makes its grand return and apparently has an army to wage war against the unfortunate Ghost Deer, Short Man, Talking Oven and their baking buddies! Who's going to win this one? (NOTE: START AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE AND READ YOUR WAY UP.)



(ANOTHER NOTE: ToeJammer lamented the death of his "lover" JodysFoot just before all the guestbook entries were deleted. I thought I recorded it but apparently not. At any rate, read about THE QUASAR to find out about the cataclysmic event and the aftermath...)


JodysFoot (/w younger brother Mike and Timmy the retarded kid)
visited from
JodysFoot: (Psst! Mike, you gotta help me. I'm being stalked...)
Mike: Well, ok. Whaddya want me to do?
JodysFoot: I need you to make it look like I died from a horrible accident. Okay?
**Mike gets the hammer and smashes JodysFoot**
JodysFoot: OW! I said make it LOOK like an accident, you little bastard! Sh*t, there goes one toe nail...
**Timmy the retarded kid laughs and drives in the 'Cuda!**
JodysFoot: No, Timmy! NOOOOOOO!!!
**Timmy the retarded kid runs over JodysFoot and then crashes into a neighbor's house!**
Timmy: FRANKS AND BEANS! FRANKS AND BEANS!
Mike: Good thing he always wears a helmet.
**JodysFoot gets eaten by a flock of ravens**
Raven: JodysFoot, you have met your destiny and your pain at the hands of my flock. Quoth the Raven, NEVERMORE.
JodysFoot (as a wraith): I think I'll get me a Turbo Interceptor and spend some time killing road pirates. Well, at least ToeJammer can't get me anymore. HAHAHAHA!

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Ugly Stick
visited from

Sigh...I've been sitting back hearing all of you talk about Lillian Sussane Casey and I couldn't help but feel I am overlooked. Here I am, the basic reason she is so ugly, and you never give me the credit I deserve. Now now, don't get me wrong, I'm a humble stick, I work hard to make my measly living. I mean, I made Lillian after all...So um, Mr. Worm....Don't eat me or anything, but if you save me from my life of making her ugly, I would most certainly reward you for your troubles. Sinserely (darn, how do you spell that word?) The Ugly Stick. P.S. It's only a suggestion. You don't have to help me or anything.

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Jody
Toe Jammer
visited from

Hey, that doesn't matter, babycakes, my little muffin oh how I would like to butter. No one is perfect.

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Sandworm
visited from

Oh dear Lord! Why?! Why did you send that thing here? Have you no shame? The priestine sands of my beautiful planet polluted! OH! If I didn't eat the environmentalists here, I'd give them a call and have you put to sleep for your Naziesque crimes, you terrible, terrible nerd!

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scrimshot
visited from

Hello y'all. Is this a chat room, now???

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JodysFoot
visited from

Sorry, toejam. I'm a male foot, and I'm straight. How could you miss all those toe hairs?

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Peanut Gallery
visited from

Dude, like, it's becoming, like, a chat room in here. Like, dude, like, totally. Like like....

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Mwahahahahahaha
Nerd formerly known as Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector
visited from

Delivers one Lillian Susanne Casey to the Sandworm...

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Sandworm
visited from

Oh, and how I am supposed to get to Earth and devour a couple insignificant pests, huh? I told you, I have a f***ing eating disorder...For one thing, I'll eat spaceships if there's nothing else around. Spaceships are loaded with iron. You really want Bambi or Thumper eaten? Bring it, don't sing it! Drop 'em off here and fly away before I eat you too. Just don't maroon Lillian Susanne Casey on my world, understand?

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Nerd formerly known as Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector
visited from

OGRE!!!!!!!!!

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Oh, how did you know?
Toe Jammer
visited from

My precious Jody Foot....how I love thee....mmmmkiss mmmmmkiss mmmmkiss.....Oh, is that Jam perfume you are wearing? How did you know it was my favorite? Please, let us marry so that I may take you to the Casbah...I'll treat you like a queen...a goodess even...rubbing you gently with my newly formed ball of Jam and navel lint and all you will have to do it produce my precious life giving Jam, as well as wear that intoxicating Jam perfume. Please....say yes, my love.....mmmmmkiss mmmmmmkiss mmmmmkiss.....

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Ogre (of the Alpha Betas)
visited from

NERD!!!!!!

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The Talking Oven
visited from

Oh excuse me. Must be glitch mice in my database. Those rascals from the Satellite of Love, Crow and Tom Servo, gave me some psychoactive lubricant, and my perception of reality has been temporarily distorted. Rest assured, I'm Y2K compliant so I won't crazy and switch sides on New Year's Day.

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Uuummmmm....
Nerd formerly known as Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector
visited from

I knew you'd do that Sandworm....um....yeah. NOW GO CHASE A THUMPER, I HAVE UNDERWEAR TO CLEAN....oh, I mean um...I have a super hero suit to mend....NO...didn't mean that either. Ah crap, I plead the fifth....If you're so hungry eat thumper and his friend Bambi for me will ya?

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Sandworm
visited from Arakis

BURRRRP!! Sorry, I ate all the spice on Arakis. Then I ate the Atraides and Harkonnens for dessert. I guess I have a complusive eating disorder, huh? If that insulin-distributor got off his duff and gave me some, then this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry, but it's your fault for not helping me, you know, and now you guys will have to win your silly little war some other way. Might I suggest taking all the people from those psychic outlines and exploit their telekinetic powers (if any). Imagine, you can destroy a whole galaxy with the help of a psychic-guided quasar. Why do I say such a thing? Living is hunger and after a while, hunger hurts! I want to die in glory. Send the quasar to euthanasize me and your battle-hardened selves. Pleeeease?

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DUH!!!
Nerd formerly known as Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector
visited from

I'm on your side Oven! Get with the program or I'll reprogram you myself!

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The Talking Oven
visited from

I'm 100% mechanized, and I don't need any insulin...so I can make fun of your costume all I want and then feed you to Unicron (who got so big and rotund because of Orson Welles). MOOWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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JodysFoot
visited from

Hey, is someone looking for their TOE JAM? Hee hee hee!

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MadVendor
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Thanks a lot, Pee Wee Herman. **MadVendor throws 30 lbs. of popcorn at Pee Wee** Now how about watching a XXX-rated movie and buttering all this popcorn with your skin bus and turbo-action hands. HA HA HA! **MadVendor rips off an EXIT sign and runs off with it!**

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Toe Jammer
visited from

Alright, whoever it was that stole my Jam, I would like it returned. Sheesh. It took me moths to save up that cheesy ball of athlete's foot goodness and SOMEONE steals it....Geez, you leave it on the sink for five minutes while you have a nice....not to warm, not to cold shower and someone else comes along and steals it. The shame, the humanity. Well fine...tell you what, you can have it. You jealous so and so. You'll never get hands on my Jam again....YOU HEAR ME!

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OH NO, NOT TOOTHPASTE!Nerd formerly known as Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector formerly known as Prince
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*adjusts pocket protector* You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would ya?

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Paul Ruebens formerly known as Pee Wee Herman
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*Pee Wee Herman looks at the moles on MadVendor's back* *Pee Wee Herman plays connect the dot's with MadVendor's moles* "Connect the dots, fa la la la. Connect the dots, fa la la la."

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Close-up toothpaste
visited from

Ahh, that's where you're wrong, insulin injector. I'M really the key to this battle. You need me to be cavity-free from all them sweets. oops! Too bad I've already joined forces with white escort. We may have the tummy aches, but you will not have the teeth. ha ha ha ha ha!

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Paul Moadib formerly known as Insulin Injector
visited from Arakas

Maybe I didn't make myself clear...I AM THE KEY TO THIS WAR...and I shall continue to be so! So what if you have insulin injectors...I HAVE THE SPICE...and whoever controls the spice controls the universe! No...no....I'm not the Insulin Injector...I'm not....I swear. Hey! Pay no attention to that man dressed like a syringe behind the curtain....the great Paul Moadib has spoken!!!

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Mr. Spock
visited from The Starship Enterprise

It appears that Jim has made a mistake. Not only has the entire Starship Enterprise joined the white escort, but all my relatives in the vulcan race. Our new mission will be to make you tap dance forever and keep the starship enterprise spic and span. Spock (((((((out)))))))

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Captain James T. Kirk
visited from The Starship Enterprise

Hello. I'm from the starship enterprise and I'm giving a warning to you all opposed to the white escort. We've supplied him with laser-beamer thingys and communicators. Beam me up, Scotty!!!!

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The Ugly Stick
visited from

Oh god....someone SAVE ME! SAVE ME PLEASE! I can't stand touching Ms. Casey anymore! Damn, and I thought Barbara Streisand was bad enough, but a 24/7 with this....thing....and I'm forced to reconsider my manhood. For the love of god.....GET ME AWAY FROM THIS CASEY THING!!! I'll....I'll...make it up to you I promise. I'll only hit you once....I swear! No one deserves this torture!

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Toe Jammer
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DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY JAM?........I SAY, DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY JAM??..........ahahahahaha....stopit stopit....check your own toes.....Please....you perv!

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BallLicka
visited from

Hello, I guess I want to know if anybody in here has the ability to lick their own balls. I sure can! It sure feels good when thet're itchy. All I do is put my head between my legs and lick away! Heee Hawww! It's better than licking dilly bars and lolly pops.

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Marty McFly
visited from

I'm not worth your time, huh? Well, what you don't know is that we went back in time before that and installed a mind control device in kitt, which was to make you think that doc installed a flux capacitor. And more good news: The Ghost Busters are joining our ranks. They're ready with their proton packs along with giga meters and the white hearse equipped with insulin injectors and pastery dispensers. Now!!! How do you like them apples?!? Huh?!? Huh?!? Huh?!? That's what I thought, punks!

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Insulin Injector
visited from Planet Pancreas

Poor poor people, you all are. Do you not see? You cannot live without the precious life giving insulin I have grown to model my super hero costume after. Ah yes.....insulin, you know the stuff. That crazy hormononal substance (Hey, keep your mind out of the gutter!) that allows your body to gobble up those yummy, if not irresistable treets you all seem so EAGER to hurl at each other. Little do you know, I AM THE KEY TO THIS WAR!!!! *Super hero pose* Those who apose Kitt, Unicorn, and the shortman shall know what it feels like to get an incredibly BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD tummy ache. Don't believe me? Eh....what was that? Fine, go ahead....mock the suit....but you heard my warning.....NO ISULIN FOR YOU!!!!

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Unicron
visited from

I...am Unicron. I am a planet who devours everything in its path. Keeblatron....however, is a planet which even I dare not touch, for it is a swee, sweet aroma galaxy wide, For those of you who dare oppose the Short Man and his allies, I will send you..into a pastriless oblivion...

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The Short Man on 4th Street (And KITT)
visited from

KITT:Karr, there is also a reason Michael is *your* new driver: His pastry days were over. A washed up crueller with nowhere to go but that big toilet of nothingness and swirl away with the rest of..you know.. Short Man: Having known Emmett Brown, he was kind enough to install a FLUX capacitor in KITT which has enabled us to go back in time and coerce him ino being a secret assassin. As for Marty, the booooy isn't worth our time. The Keebler Evles will prevail, and by Barbara Streisand's nose..one shall stand, one shall fall..but only the winner gets cookies.

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White Escort
Zinger Zapper
visited from Pannonia

Along time ago in a galaxy far far away, there were four score and seven escorts, whom all were happy. But alas, we have nothing to fear but GhostDeer himself - that and being hit by a spenlid and exotic automotive vechicle for the 21st century. Because when in doubt shroud your spout, before you bang her, wrap your whammer. And in conclusion, read my lips. ZZ

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Ms. Casey, your shoe's untied.
Biff
visited from

Well looky what we have here, a white Escort making threats. HA! That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship. So why don't you make like a tree and get out of here!

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Mad Vendor
visited from

**MadVendor shoves his vending cart downhill in the path of the white Escort, which veers into a corn field and gets stranded for 22 or 23 days.** Hey you! I need wares to sell and I don't like people ruining the baking business, just thought I'd let you know that. **MadVendor injects some Viagra into some Armor Hot Dogs and throws them at black Taurus.** HA HA HA! My Viagra-cized hot dogs swell up and detonate on impact! **MadVendor looks smug as the Viagracized hot dogs explode all over black Taurus.** Here's some mustard! **MadVendor throws a jar of mustard at black Taurus** Hmmm...needs relish! **MadVendor flicks a spoonful of relish at black Taurus's windshield!** OK, I think I'll give you both some time to yourselves to reflect...In the meantime, have some peanuts! **MadVendor throws some peanuts at white Escort & black Taurus and then an EXIT sign before he disappears into the horizon!**

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The White Escort
visited from

Oh yeah Short Man? We now have Dr. Emmett Brown and Marty along with the Delorean time machine. We can go into the future and get all the technologically advanced weaponry we want. We have seen the future of pasteries and it doesn't look very good. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KARR
visited from

As some of you may know, I'm Kitt's rival on Knight Rider. I have just as much gizmo's and gadgets as Kitt...AND then some. I have kidnapped Bonnie and Killed that old british bastard, Devon. Bonnie has equipped me with an ecto-plasmic ray that allows me to destroy any supernatural idiot that crosses my path. That's right! Including you, ghost deer. As for Michael Knight...well, he's my new driver and bakes and makes candies part time to make up for Betty Crocker, Sara Lee, and Willy Wonka. So, with that said, BRING IT ON, PUNKS!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEH KARR

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Piece'opie
The Short Man on 4th Street
visited from

You are welcomed amongst our ranks. Together with your delectible sweetness and our endless array of sugary toppings, we can inflict high blood pressure upon our victims, and they will then bow to their sweet masters. As we speak, KITT is baking up a recipe for Butterfinger BB pellets that, when shot, will turn whomever they strike into Bart Simpson.

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A piece of pie
Peculiar Purple Pieman
visited from Porcupine Peak

Hello Shortman and company. Are you still interested in baking pastries? I baked a good slice of pie back in the day, but I've been out of a job ever since Strawberry Land had been taken over by communist scum (admittedly, my throwing pies at Strawberry Stalin and Marmalade Mao got me into some trouble too) I'll gladly bake pies for you, Short Man, but I'd rather not touch Ms. Casey's hairpie though. Ya-ta-da-ta-ta-da-da-da-ta-taaaaaah!

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KITT
visited from

Hello, I'm the Knight Industries Two Thousand voice command processor. As you know, I have a molecularly bonded shell and many tools that aid me in defeating my enemies. My new driver, The Short Man, will work with the Autobots and Decepticons, and we have also sent a distress signal to Unicron. That Talking OVen and all his allies are waging a war against your kind, Casey..and as for the Black Escort and the white car.. I've got surprises for you both. KITT--out.

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EXCELLENT...
The Talking Oven
visited from USA

MOOOWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But it IS too late, Escort. My fellow Decepticons and Go-Bot buddies have arrived to kick ass and chew bubble-gum. Since they can't really chew gum, they can only kick your ass! Sorry...Thank you for playing! MOWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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The White Escort
visited from

It's not too late, talking oven. You can either join us now, or be forced to after we make you surrender.

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The Talking Oven
visited from USA

Oooooooooooh...The scary white Escort threatens our operations. Well I got news for you, bub. I'm a TRANSFORMER! I can turn into a robot, an oven or a frigging battle tank! After I send you to the scrap heat, my old buddies Megatron and Soundwave will kick your ass and hand it to you. Tim the tool man sucks! He is a prime example of a grease monkey devolving into something more primative, as his warlus-like grunting indicates so well. You couldn't go a mile without spontaneously combusting if he "helped" you! Good luck trying to beat us, loooooser!

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The Black Taurus
visited from

It is I, the Black Taurus. I have joined the White Escort's alliance as well as Willy Wonka, Sara Lee, and Betty Crocker. HAHAHA! That's right! They have given up baking and making candies to manufacture a lethal army of killer automobiles. We shall reign supreme!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

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Booger Barger
visited from United States Of America

BRING IT ON!! BRING IT ALL ON BABY!! WE ARE MORE READY THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW!!

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The White Escort
visited from

Greetings, It is I again, The White Escort. I shall make my grand return with Tim-The tool man modifications and my alliance. We shall annihilate you all!!! HAHAHAHAHA! Sincerely, The White Escort

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I Have Returned
Booger Barger
visited from United States Of America

My buddy the Ghost Deer said the White Escort is making threats! Well bring it on WHITEY! My buddies and I are all waiting on you!! We defend the ghost and whatever else he wants to say to you you loser! YOU LOSE YET AGAIN!! We are united forever!!!!

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OHOHOHN
The Ghost Deer
visited from United States Of America

Let me tell you White Escort that this ghost deer is SO SCARED!!! OOOOOOO!!! About as scared of you as I was your ugly lesbian owner Miz Casey!! I am so scared!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

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The White Escort
visited from

Hey Ghostdeer, Yes, it is I, the White Escort that Ms. Casey ran over you with. I have heard that you are plotting to have Ms. Casey bake with the keebler elves for eternity. Be warned...should you make such threats again, I shall come after you with star-studded tires and high-octane fuel to finish the job that Ms. Casey started. Toodles, The White Escort

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