Saturday night, Tim, Mike, and I embarked on a journey that I will not soon forget. Unfortunately, we couldn't get a hold of Marc on this trip, but there will be other times. Anyway, I'm going to give you a breakdown of the night as well as I remember it anyway.


10:06 p.m.: Punch-out time at Target. Let the night begin.
10:13: I call Mike up. The plan is to meet at his house. I'm greatly looking forward to this night because I haven't seen many of these guys in a long time.
10:32: I arrive at Mike's house. I catch up with his parents. Tim arrives, and we decide to go to Boston Billiards in Nashua. I'm pumped, because I've never been.
10:52: We're all in Mike's car, and he is telling us stories of sexual conquests and experiences that Tim and I don't believe at all. I think Mike did some pre-gaming.
11:04: We just entered Boston Billiards. I get the usual joke about how it's time for a new license, because I look nothing like my license picture. It's a big place, and the scenery is gorgeous. WARNING to guys: Don't bring your girlfriends there. The waitresses there are unbelievable. You'd get slapped every time you turned around to get a look at one of them.
11:19: I just finished a round of Golden Tee Classic Golf. I think this game is as real as it gets because after 3 holes, I had a score of +11. Mike and Tim each had +4. I have a slice in the video game. It's really just like real life. I used to hit em long and straight, but now, I'm weak, I slice, and I always seem to find the water. I'm going to have to work on my game.
11:28: We recognize a waitress. She used to be in high school with us, and she has become extremely good-looking. She won't even give us the time of day for reminiscing. "I'll be with you guys in a sec hun." Never talked to her.
11:44: We finally get a pool table. This is the one area of the night where I dominated. It was my pool night. I didn't win them all, but I won most of them. We introduce ourselves to our waitress, Jennifer, and Mike immediatly begins to hit on her. Funny stuff. He uses one line, and I'm not sure if he's actually trying to pick her up or not, but it's comical. He always uses the "I'd love to (blank), but I'm getting married. Fill in the blank with "get to know you", or "Wow, you're good looking, but I'm getting married."
12:15 a.m.: We get our food order. If anyone goes there, I highly recommend the Super Sampler. This includes mini-tacos, buffalo wings, chicken tenders, mozzarella sticks, and potato skins. Good stuff.
12:32: Still dominating pool. We decided we have to do this every weekend, or every other weekend. Tim lends me a dollar so I can pick 3 songs to be played in the building. My songs never get played, because people requested a whole bunch of songs before I did. Anyway, I picked a quality mix of songs. 1) Ja Rule - Always on Time, 2) Van Morrison - Brown Eyed Girl, and 3) Incubus - Pardon Me.
12:47: Our waitress informs us that it's last call. So I order one more Miller Lite draft, and we order 3 Lemon Drops. We take our shot, I drink my beer, and we head out. On the way out, Mike uses his line on the waitress that hands out tables. I don't remember her name. Tim and I laugh accordingly. Total bill for pool, drinks, and food: approx. $80.
Quick Note: Next time, we definetely need a designated driver. Mike was a drunken maniac behind the wheel, and I'm just glad I wasn't sitting in the front seat. I kept thinking that I was going to end up in one of those drunk driver fatality commercials. I can see it now.
1:18: We decide the night is not over. So we head to Shooters in Dracut. Oh, we almost got in a nice car accident pulling in to the parking lot, but Mike's "drunk reflexes" saved us. We exit the car, and the bouncers inform us that they're not letting anyone else in. I don't remember the reason though. All I remember is I have to pee.
1:23: We decide to try the Mammoth Road club. Never, ever go there again. It is the sleaziest bar in Dracut. My brother described it best as "White Trash Heaven." Usually, when I'm full-on cocked, I find every female to be extremely attractive, I like to refer to everyone of them as a 10. Even at the Mammoth Road Club, there was this one girl there, not attractive at all. I kept saying to Tim, "I'm piss drunk, and even that girl isn't pretty to me." Of course, she was standing like 2 feet away from me, and could probably hear me.
1:32: Mike apparently has been here a few times. He introduces me to one of the local drunks, Bronson. Some old man that probably spends his life in there. At this time, I noticed a wet spot on my shirt, and I wondered if it was from spilled beer, piss, or from washing my hands. We have another beer, I lost track of how many we've had so far. Mike makes his patented speech about how he loves us, never wants to lose us, and we have to do this a lot toast. It must have been the 4th such toast from him.
1:40: It didn't matter though, because I spilled my beer all over myself.
1:43: Kept wondering where I was, and how I got here. I was out of it.
1:48: The details get shady from here. We were all drunk, but maybe Tim recalls the events a little better than I do. But, here's what I think happened: Mike warns me about this trailer-trash wearing overalls. Mike says he's a real asshole. Then, some guy leaves, the trailer-trash, overall wearing guy goes out there to pick a fight with him, I believe Mike said, "get him guy" or something like that, the trailer-park guy looks at Mike and says "Fuck you." Mike then goes to the bar for some reason, and some random guy pushes Mike. He pushed him pretty well too, Mike moved about five feet. I jump out of my chair and look at the guy, and say "We don't want any trouble." I tell Mike to finish his beer and lets go. I keep telling him to fuck that guy, and I think I apologized repeatedly to the token "hot MILF bartender who has 4 kids with 3 different fathers." Exciting stuff, almost a big brouhaha, a big ruckus. Exciting times.
2:03: We travel to some bar on Lakeview Ave. Mike says that he told a waitress he was going to meet her there????? (Help, Tim)??? The bouncer tells us they're closed, and Mike backs out of his spot. I notice that he's getting real close to a truck, but I'm so drunk, it didn't click what was happening. Yeah, so he backs right into it. He gets out and talks to the truck driver. No damage to the truck, but Mike's trunk is bashed in. WOW!
2:12: Insurance fraud insues. He immediatly calls up his insurance company. You can tell he calls there a lot, because he knows the number off the top of his head. He rambles on about how some guy backed into him, and he came out and found his car like this. He repeats himself, and anyone that listens to the message I'm sure can hear drunk desperation in his voice.
2:15: Get to my apartment, I walk in, and I hang out with my roommate while I tell him about the night. I do thank him though, because he prevented me from making any drunk calling. Never a good idea. Too dizzy to go to bed.
4ish: Pass out.


Oh man what a night. It was a good time, but I did learn a few lessons: