Movie makers have a tendency to take it easy when they are writing scripts for a movie. Their extreme disdain for anything original and non-formulaic is a total disregard for the actual talent that is out there. And when they choose to base a movie on a book, they always go to the airport book, the one you buy before you get on a plane, read the first coupla pages and then fall asleep because you've just realised you've bought a piece of shit. So, Controlled Anarchy decided to was time to punish those people who take the easy way out.
Film based on John Grisham novel Film based on Stephen King short story Film based on Stephen King novel Film based on Michael Crichton novel
Worth:-100
Reason for deduction: John Grisham writes books about lawyers. Fair enough, no problem with that. But, then he goes and makes them good lawyers. Bad luck! Try again next time loser. Firstly, lawyers are not good. They are all scum sucking pieces of worthless shit that are the only thing that is stopping us from becoming actual human beings. Secondly, he makes these lawyers look like they're working by doing a lot of photocopying. That's the most ridiculous thing that has ever been written. Thirdly, he makes these lawyers have a heart. What bullshit! Lawyers don't have hearts. At law school, they take a core subject called 'How to be a heartless S.O.B in 13 weeks 101'. I mean even if they do show heart, hey it's only because they want to win the case. That's the thing about Grisham's writing, it is full of the understatement.
Worth:-75
Reason for deduction:Stephen King is called "The Horror Master", and some of his writings are very good, but his short stories, in which some are clever, are not written to be made into the next straight-to-video crap fest. Come on. The Lawnmower Man. That was nothing like the story, and then they went and spawned a goddamn sequel. We're they kidding anyone. The Mangler. Christ, it doesn't get any worse. Oh no. Well, then there's Sometimes They Come Back. And that even spawned a sequel. Hey, what about Children of the Corn. That short story was pretty crap yet it has spawned 3 sequels. Who are they kidding here in B-movie land. If they keep churning out this shit, then the next thing you'll know they'll subject us to a combination of Stephen King and Clive Barker. Oh shit, that's right. They have with bloody Quicksilver Highway. Deduct away, we say.
Worth:-60
Reason for deduction:Stephen King writes some good novels, but he has also write some shite ones. And most are almost impossible to make into movies, yet they try and try again (go to the horror section of your video store and that is all you'll see, except for Kevin Williamson's picks of what's shite in horror movies)."Film based on Stephen King short story"
"Film based on Stephen King novel"