Films suck full stop. That's why we are doing this segment. But, when do people give the right to do a sequel, or bring back a series of a movie. This is gross incompetence and blatant money grabbing. The saying goes that 'no sequel can eclipse the original', and I think that it is written in the bible (somewhere near the back next to "Thy wife should not interfere in thy husband's racket"). OK, it's objectionable that a few may have slipped through, but Controlled Anarchy are not convinced. Look at the following and you will see why.
TV movies Any horror film made after Scream Sequels (2-6+) Film made to bring back series of movies Film is keeping Cold War tradition alive Film is made to bring back a series of movies that are in the HORROR genre
Worth:-1000
Reason for deduction: Well, it had to happen. As soon as they realised that they could invent television and then put moving pictures onto television, they were bound to find out they can make movies for the television. Yep, you'd have to agree with television producers when they say that they can make a movie in a week, have it on television the next and then fade into obscurity. Hopefully forever. By the way, here are some examples of how to judge TV movies:
Worth:-40
Reason for deduction:Look, horror films suck full stop. Some guy named Kevin Williamson comes to Hollywood and pitches a movie that will be satiring all the really bad horror films that we wanted to forget. A great idea, and in principal it worked very well. But, the backlash has been huge, and even Williamson himself has joined in writing such trash as 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' and that bloody sequel. Hey, they even thought of renewing the dead series of Halloween. Get rid of the 7 out the front and called H20. H2Whoa what a load of bullshit. They disbanded the Halloween series in 1993 because Donald Pleasance had to be help up with calipers for God sake. John Carpenter went walkabout after the third one and Jamie left after two (but was gullible to think that they could improve on any of the other shit they've already done). Ah well, lots of buckets of fake blood till the day people realise they are not scary, and never were.
Worth:
Worth:-500
Reason for deduction:Bond has done it. Michael Myers wants more blood. Hey, is that bloody Ellen Ripley hiding in the alien goo over there. Come on out. We are looking for suckers, we mean people who are willing to put up with this crap. It is just that people still think that they can get away with this. Ah well, they will never stop trying, will they. Get ready to go out and see your favourite star from yesteryear look older, deader and stupider than ever. Oh shit, isn't that, oh God, it isn't Don Corleone. Run for your lives.
Worth:-125
Reason for deduction:The Cold War is over. Get over it. This applies to movies that are set in the time after the Cold War died such as Air Force One, The Saint, GoldenEye etc. The Russians are now our comrades. They work like us. They have capitalism like us. They have McDonalds like us. And they supposedly party like us. So what's going on in Hollywood, huh? It's time to pick on somebody else. Albania, for instance. Hey, we never liked Luxembourg or Switzerland (those neutral bastards). Hey, here's an idea, let's bomb America. Yeah, we like that one."Any horror film made after Scream"
"Sequels"
2nd = -50
3rd = -80
4th = -125
5th = -175
6th = -250
more than 6 = -1000
Reason for deduction: Shoot me it's sequel time. Tell us, how many sequels have ever been made that surpassed the original. We here 'The Godfather Part 2'. We here 'Aliens'. Not too many other people are calling out. What? 'The Return of the Attack of Killer Tomatoes'? Are you fucking with us? OK. OK. Sequels are only made so that greedy studios can get more money to put into their Scrooge McDuck style existence (by the way Scrooge McDuck the hero. What the hell is Disney thinking. He's a miser for God sakes). So, inevitably people will work out that they are getting duped big time. Wait a minute, what are we talking about? People are stupid gullible fools who will find entertainment in the most obscure forms of perversion (sequels been one of the more extreme examples). Now what perveys people to make a fourth, a fifth, a sixth, a seventh or even more of that in the series? Do people really wanna see this? Alright, we'll let you as long as can deduce who the hell allows Wes Craven to get his name put into every horror movie, especially the ones he hasn't heard of."Film is made to bring back series of movies"
"Film is keeping Cold War tradition alive"