Chapter 22

Joseph heard Brian’s horse gallop away and wondered why his son had come home for such a short period of time. He glanced down at the small, half-finished wooden carving in his hand and shook his head, contemplating whether or not to toss it aside. His heart just wasn’t in it. This morning’s first expedition into town had taken a lot out of him and left him feeling dissatisfied and uneasy. He knew that Michaela was upset about it too, but was unsure as to why. He desperately hoped it wasn’t something he’d done. He’d apologised for his initial anger over the incident in the cemetery, so that couldn’t be it.

He heard footsteps approaching and instinctively knew it had to be his wife. He sensed, rather than saw, her entrance into the barn, and when she stood still and silent for some moments behind him he was finally compelled to swivel on his stool and face her. Their eyes met and he began to nervously twirl the carving in his hand. Her expression was unreadable, her demeanour subdued.

"What are you making?" she asked quietly.

He flipped the small object in his hands. "Just bin fiddlin’ … probably toss it in the fire … aint my best work," he offered dismissively.

She stepped forward and took it from him. She held it up to the light to examine it. It was a dove, one wing outspread and detailed, the other barely formed. "Its pretty," she remarked softly. "You made one of these once before …"

"I did?"

"Mmmm … a long time ago," she replied, but offered no further information. She handed it back to him and again there was a long silence between them.

For want of something to do, Joseph picked up his knife and began to work on the carving once more, carefully shaping the second wing. Michaela stood and watched as he seemingly retreated inside himself again, and consequently away from her. Mindful of Brian’s words, she looked around and then pulled up an old wooden chair to sit beside him. At last she said tenderly, "I don’t think this morning’s trip into town was quite what either of us had hoped for … was it?" Unsure what to reply, Joseph said nothing, but his hands stilled on the dove. So she added with concern, "You’ve been very quiet since we arrived home …"

Joseph’s jaw clenched and his fingers tightened on the knife and piece of wood in his hands. Finally he admitted, "It was disappointin’ more than anythin’ …. I was kinda hopin’ ta remember somethin’ …. somethin’ that made sense anyways …. not like that funeral thing …." He suddenly stood and walked uneasily towards the open barn door. He stopped to gaze out at the homestead, nestled into the hillside, then he turned to face her.

Silhouetted as he was by the sunlight streaming in from outside, Michaela was unable to see his expression, so it was a shock when he suddenly asked, somewhat accusingly, "What were *you* expectin’? I aint the only one who’s bin quiet …"

She reddened and then shrugged her shoulders. "I don’t know," she replied quietly.

"Sure ya do …. Ya musta had some hopes for that trip," he insisted. "What were they?"

Michaela stood and said softly, "Alright …. I *did* have some hopes …. I hoped that you might remember more than you did …. I hoped that the trip would trigger something I haven’t been able to …. I hoped that you might remember something to do with …." She suddenly paused and gulped.

"With?" he prompted.

"With …. with ….. " She began to wring her hands. "Oh …. I don’ know …. anything! …. But the last thing I expected was for you to remember the funeral …."

"That was obvious," he replied, an uncharacteristic touch of sarcasm in his tone. "But ya see …. I don’ have any control over what I remember …. or don’ remember …. I wish to God I did …. but I don’ …. an’ its tearin’ me apart …" He reached out his hand to her and when she took it he drew her over to the open door. He turned her so that her back was to him and she looked out. "What do you see?" he demanded.

Michaela swallowed the lump in her throat, hurt immeasurably by his harsh tone. She replied very quietly, "Our home …"

Turning her by her shoulders so that she now faced him, Joseph asked, "Know what I see?" She shook her head, unable to hold his gaze. He answered his own rhetorical question. "I see a homestead …. a homestead I like …. You say I built it …. an’ I see the way its bin built an’ I can believe ya …. but I don’ *remember* buildin’ it …." He noticed the tears well in her eyes but he couldn’t stop. "You tell me Katie’s my daughter … an’ lookin’ at her I know that’s right …. but I don’ *remember* her bein’ born …. I don’ remember her first birthday …. or the first time she called me pa …. or when she got her first tooth …." He abruptly turned away from her. "I don’ *remember* Michaela…. I don’ remember." He startled her by angrily hurtling the carving of the dove out into the yard so that it landed only a few feet from the front steps. "I don’ remember …..," he repeated. "The same goes for Loren …. Grace an’ Robert E …. Dorothy an’ Cloud Dancin’ …. I can understand *why* they’re our friends …. but I don’ remember them becomin’ our friends." He thumped the door jamb irritably. "An’ then there’s you …. I know I love ya …. an’ I know that’ll never change …. but I don’ remember fallin’ in love with ya …. the first time anyway ….. I don’ remember all those things ya want me to remember ….. an’ no-one knows for sure if I ever will …."

"You will," murmured Michaela, tears streaming silently down her face.

"How can you say that?" he demanded, his voice rising a notch. "If you’re honest … ya can’t …. no-one can. Have ya got any idea what its like …. ta not know things …. ta not understand things cos they don’ seem to relate to anythin’?"

"No," replied Michaela in a small voice.

He took an agitated step out into the yard and then back again. "I’ll tell ya what its like ….. its like someone’s handed me the torn out page from a book an’ said - here read this and you’ll know what the rest of the story’s about - only it don’ work like that …. I don’ know what the rest of the story is about …. an’ no-one knows for certain whether I’ll ever get ta actually read the rest of the book."

Michaela swallowed and murmured, "Its didn’t seem to worry you so much before …. in Paynesville ….. and before we went into town this morning ….."

Joseph paused and regarded her intently. Finally he responded, "No …. I guess you’re right …. Maybe I entered into all this too blindly …. had too much belief in the fact that my memory would come back …. This mornin’ made me look at things differently …."

"Why?"

"Why? ….. Cos its all startin’ to mean too much …. that’s why …. When I remembered that funeral it was like someone had stuck me with a red hot poker …. It hurt Michaela …. more ‘an I can put into words …. I can’t go on just pretendin’ everythin’s gonna be alright …. What if it isn’t? What if it never is?"

Michaela crossed her arms protectively across her chest and bit her lip. "I …. I …. don’t know what to say Sully …. I want your memory to return as much as you do …. But you’re right …. there are no guarantees …"

Joseph unconsciously mirrored her stance and demanded, "Then what’re we gonna do?" He began to pace again, and then said, his tone suddenly desolate, "In all the years in Paynesville … not knowin’ who I was …. I never really felt lonely …. cos I never knew what I was missin’ …. Far as I was concerned my life started the day I woke up at Doc’s …. But this mornin’ … today …. its different ….. there’s a life I wanna be a part of …. an’ can’t …."

"But you’ve got me Sully …. always ….," pleaded Michaela plaintively.

For just a moment he looked as if he might take her into his arms and then he backed away. "Maybe that aint gonna be enough Michaela," he murmured despairingly. His eyes met hers. "Do you realise you’ve never once called me Joseph?" he asked unexpectedly.

Her brow creased and she blurted out, "But you’re Sully!"

"An’ that’s just it!" he expostulated. "To you … the family …. all our friends …. I’m Byron Sully …. born on a ship …. raised in New York …. late of Colorado Springs …. But to me …. I’m Joseph Williams …. born in Paynesville four years ago … past unknown …."

He abruptly strode back into the barn and untethered one of the horses before checking its bridle.

"What are you doing?!" exclaimed Michaela, panic-stricken.

He glanced across at her and frowned when he noted her distress, but he led the horse out into the yard anyway. He jumped onto its bare back and from high above her said, "Goin’ for a ride …. gotta clear my head," and he galloped at speed out of the yard, towards the woods, watched by a heartbroken Michaela.

************************

Joseph started as a horse and rider entered the clearing in which he sat huddled dejectedly before a dwindling fire. He glanced up to note with surprise that the rider was Dorothy and that she was dismounting.

She unhesitatingly walked across and sat herself on the ground beside him. "I was headin’ back to town from Palmer Creek an’ saw the campfire ….. wondered who it was," she said, her tone light, although it was obvious that her friend was feeling low. "Me an’ Cloud Dancin’ called at the homestead this afternoon …. but ya weren’t there ….. I was a little surprised to see you out here though." When Sully did not reply she added, "Where’s Michaela?"

Joseph shrugged his shoulders and muttered, "Thought she was at home …"

"Well if she was, she wasn’t answering the door," explained Dorothy. "You two have a fallin’ out?"

Again he gave a despondent shrug. "Figure that’s what she’d say …. though it was mainly me did the yellin’," he admitted sheepishly.

"Sometimes it helps ta talk," offered Dorothy. "I’ve known you two a long time …. perhaps I can help …"

"Don’ reckon anyone can help," muttered Joseph. "Maybe it woulda bin better if I’d stayed in Paynesville …. Insteada comin’ here an’ causin’ Michaela pain …."

"It would have been more painful for her if you hadn’t come back …. She’s missed you so much the years you’ve been gone …."

"But it wasn’ *me* she was missin’ …. Nobody seems ta understand that …. I aint Sully …. least ways I don’ *feel* like him ….," grumbled Joseph.

"I thought you were startin’ to remember a few things ...," remarked Dorothy, stunned by the depths of his despair.

He chuckled wryly. "Yeah … useless thin’s like how Brian looked when he was a little kid …. an’ the design of our bed …. Michaela needs more ‘an that."

"Sounds to me like *you* need more than that," she advised. "If Cloud Dancin’ was here he’d say you were gittin’ ahead of yourself …. that ya gotta take it one step at a time …."

"Yeah … I know …. an’ that it aint just the rememberin’ that’s important ….," added Joseph. He swivelled to face the tall redhead. "An’ when he told me those things back in Paynesville I believed him …. Its different here though …. There are friends an’ family who need me …. want me …. whole …. not this sorta part person I am."

"Michaela wouldn’ say that."

Joseph sighed. "I know …. but its how I feel …. I got a little daughter who hasta remember to tell me all the past details before she can tell me somethin’ new …. I got two sons an’ an adult daughter who feel awkward around me … don’ know what ta say to me … an’ I got friends who are just waitin’ for me to get my memory back …. but maybe that won’t ever happen …"

"And if it doesn’t everyone will learn to live with it," counselled Dorothy.

"I don’ know whether *I* can live with it …"

"You have to …"

"Why!"

Dorothy rested her hand over his. "Because you have a wife who would give her life for you …. who will accept you just the way you are … as long as you’re in her life …."

"I aint so sure …. She’s waitin’ like everyone else …. expectin’ my memory to come back …." He reached out a prodded a burning ember with a stick. "Maybe she’s only gonna be disappointed …"

Dorothy suddenly straightened her shoulders and said commandingly. "Sully … look at me .." When he turned startled eyes on her she said imperiously, "Maybe its time you started considerin’ the others … insteada just feelin’ sorry for yourself …"

"That’s what I’ve been doin’ … I don’ want ‘em to be disappointed .."

"No …. you’ve been wondering how you’re gonna cope with their disappointment if worse comes to worse and your memory don’ return. …. But have ya ever given any consideration to how Michaela feels about all this?" she demanded. "For what its worth … I reckon Michaela’s probably feelin’ pretty low right now … not because your memory aint come back …. but because you aint sharin’ your worries with her … you aint listenin’ to her either I’d wager …. She *loves* you …. whether you think of yourself as Joseph or Sully ….. but she needs some reassurin’ too …. How do you think she feels knowin’ you’re unhappy back here … wonderin’ if you’re gonna tell her you want to go back ta Paynesville …. wonderin’ if she’s gonna lose you all over agin …. She’d never survive that …."

Joseph gulped. "I … I …. couldn’ leave her …. I love her too …"

"I know it …. but maybe *she’s* startin’ ta doubt it …." She rubbed his hand consolingly. "Knowin’ you …. I bet ya just took off …. didn’ tell her where you were goin’ …"

"I didn’ know myself ….," murmured Joseph.

"Sounds just like the Sully I useta know …. takin’ off on a whim …. leavin’ Michaela to worry about ya …," chuckled Dorothy. "Don’ ya reckon its time to work together on this …. insteada sittin’ alone out here … an’ stewin’ on things?" Joseph nodded resignedly and so she hauled herself up from the ground. When he peered up at her she said with a smile, "But don’ expect ta git off easy … I’ve known Michaela ta give folks a tongue-lashin’ if she figures its necessary …" Joseph gave her an uneasy smile in return and also rose from the ground. She strode across to her horse and then began to rummage around in her saddlebags, finally withdrawing a green, leather-bound book. "Ya asked me about this the first time ya met me …. I knew Michaela would be uneasy about you readin’ it then …. but I figure now its time." She handed it to him. "You’ll learn a lot about Michaela in there … what it was like for her early on …. trying to fit in … an’ trying to comes to terms with her love for you …." She put her foot in the stirrup and heaved herself up onto the horse’s back. "Just keep in mind that deep down it don’ matter to Michaela what you remember … she’ll love you anyway." She turned her horse towards Colorado Springs. "Me an’ Cloud Dancin’ leave for San Francisco first thing tomorrow …. We’ll see ya in about ten days … Give my love to Michaela …" She gave him a caring smile and set her horse in motion.

Joseph watched her disappear around a bend in the creek and then looked down at the book in his hand - "My Town" by Dorothy Jennings. His heart began to beat a little faster. Here was a chance to learn, and maybe remember, more about his new home and the people who were beginning to mean the world to him.

***************************

Joseph was surprised to see the homestead in darkness when he rode into the yard. Although the sun had not completely set, the winter twilight had taken over, and he knew it would be dark inside the house. A sudden panic overcame him as he contemplated the impossible. Michaela wouldn’t leave him … would she?

He tethered his horse to the railing and hurried up the front steps, his heart pounding. He paused at the front door, took a deep breath and pushed it open, relieved to discover it wasn’t locked. He paused on the threshold while his eyes adjusted to the dimness, and then he turned and quietly pushed the door closed. The silence was deafening. No sound of Katie’s laughter, no pot boiling on the stove, no humming from Michaela as she worked. Silence! He swallowed and peered around at the objects which, contrary to his earlier outburst, were already beginning to represent home to him. He took a step forward and the sound of his booted footfall seemed to echo throughout the silent house. He glanced into the living room and was surprised to see glowing embers in the fireplace. So …it wasn’t too long ago since someone had been here. And then, in the soft glow of the fire he saw her!

He stooped down to remove his boots and then walked quietly across to kneel at her feet. She was slumped in the wingback chair, asleep, a cushion clasped to her chest. Even in this light, he could see her reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks and his heart nearly broke. Dorothy was right. He had been selfish, considering just himself and his situation. He reached out to brush a wisp of hair back from her cheek and yet hesitated, his fingers hovering a hairsbreadth from her face. Would she be angry when she woke, or, worse than that, crushed? What had he done?!

Although he actually hadn’t touched her, Michaela stirred, her eyelids fluttered and then narrowed as she tried to ascertain where she was and the time of day. She pulled herself upright and drew her fingers through her dishevelled hair, and then her eyes suddenly focussed on him. She took a deep breath and said softly, "You’re home …"

At last his hand did gently brush at the wisp of hair and he replied, "Uh huh ….. where’re Brian an’ Katie?"

Her voice still low and husky from sleep, she said, "Brian took Katie in to have supper with Colleen and Andrew …. and then to stay the night … He wanted me to go with them …"

"But you didn’ …."

"No …. I didn’t …. I wanted to be here if you returned …."

Joseph wasn’t certain whether or not he imagined the slight emphasis on the word ‘if’ but winced all the same. "You had supper?" he asked softly.

"No … I’m not hungry," she replied. She began to rise from the chair. "But I’ll fix you something."

Joseph stilled her. "No … it aint necessary …. I’ll git somethin’ later …" She fell back into the softness of the chair again, her eyes raking his face as if she was trying to ascertain his state of mind merely via his appearance. To avoid her steady, questioning gaze, he turned and stoked the fire and then stood to light the lamps either side.

"What time is it?" she asked softly.

"’Round six," he replied, returning to sit on his heels on the floor beside her chair. His eyes fixed on her hand which was nervously pleating the thick blue serge of her skirt. He laid his hand over hers, stilling it, and then looked up into her troubled eyes. "I’m sorry Michaela," he whispered contritely. "I had no right …."

She bit her lip and turned her head away, unable to reply.

"I took my frustrations out on you," he continued softly. "I had no right to do that …. ‘specially when you’ve bin standin’ beside me all along …." He lowered his eyes to the floor. "I want so much to fit in here …. Its like I’m standin’ on the outside lookin’ in …. when I wanna be on the inside … Can ya forgive me?" Still Michaela remained silent but Joseph suddenly felt her fingers running through his hair and then they stopped to tenderly cup his cheek. He raised his eyes to hers. "Can ya?" he asked again with longing.

"You’re not the only one feeling frustrated Sully …. I didn’t help matters this morning …. I let my disappointment show ….," murmured Michaela.

Joseph’s brow creased. "Why did this happen to us Michaela? Four years!" he exclaimed, his voice suddenly loud in the large room.

Michaela shrugged, and tears threatened to well up and overflow. "We’ll never know," she advised softly. "But continual questioning and railing about it will get us nowhere … perhaps we need to look on the positive side of things …"

"The positive side?" he asked in wonder.

"Well …. if this hadn’t happened you would never have met Doc …."

"True …. but I’da been here for the important things ….. insteada bein’ so far away an’ ….. an’ ….. alone …."

Remembering his words of the morning she couldn’t resist adding, "But not lonely …"

He reddened. "No …. not lonely …," he murmured sheepishly.

"And Robert E would never have become district commissioner …. Cloud Dancing might never have joined with Dorothy to publicly fight for the indian cause …"

"They’re all ‘what ifs’ Michaela," suggested Joseph wryly. "We’ll never know …."

"That’s right …. we’ll never know …. So we can only go forward …. can’t we?" she recommended. "There’s no advantage to looking back …"

"But that’s what memories are …. lookin’ back," said Joseph. "An’ without ‘em the future’s cloudy …."

"Not cloudy …. just different ….," rejoined Michaela softly. "You’ll see things from a different perspective … that’s all …. But there *is* a future …. one we can share …."

Joseph nodded in dubious agreement. "I suppose," he mused. Then he once more looked up into Michaela’s face. "I’m sorry I said those things."

"I’m not," replied Michaela unexpectedly. "The *way* you chose to say them hurt …. but I needed to know what you were feeling …. and now I do …"

"But I never gave you a chance ta say how *you* were feelin’ …. I was too wrapped up in bein’ angry …."

Michaela gave him a wry smile. "One thing you’ll learn about me Sully is that I’m never very good at letting people know how I feel …. even you …."

"Tell me now …"

She blushed and fixed her gaze on the leaping flames in the fireplace.

"Tell me," he implored.

She swallowed. "I don’t know," she said in a small voice. "Sometimes I feel so happy I want to sing out your name to the world … tell anyone who’s listening that you’re back …. and I love you more than ever …. And then there are times like this morning in the cemetery when I see you so frustrated and confused that I want to take some of that on myself …. It hurts because I know you’re hurting …."

He knelt up and reached out for her and she willingly moved into his loving arms. He held her close whispering her name adoringly against her ear. Then he pulled back a little and asked softly, "But there was somethin’ else this mornin’ wasn’ there?"

She blushed and lowered her eyes. "I don’t want to make you angry again," she murmured.

"I won’t git angry Michaela …. tell me …."

She cupped his face with her hand, running her thumb across his cheek. "I …. I …. want you to …. to …. remember something about *me* …..," she finally admitted, her tone so low he could barely hear her. "I understand what you said this morning …. about having no control over what you remember … and what you don’t …. so I know its silly … but ….. I want you to remember how much I love you …."

His lips suddenly claimed hers, as he communicated his loving response without words. At last he pulled back and said sincerely, "If there’s one thing you an’ me’ve learnt from all this …. its that our love is forever …. It’s the one thing I don’ need to remember …. cos I *know* …. I know with every part of me …. that ya love me …. an’ I love you …. we always have ….. an’ we always will ….. What did the reverend call it?"

"A remarkable love …"

"Perfect description don’ ya think?" He stood and drew her to her feet and into his arms. She immediately pressed herself up against him, her hands going to the nape of his neck, her lips and tongue joining enthusiastically with his. He halted the kiss for a moment and whispered against her ear, "You an’ me’ve got some makin’ up to do …"

She smiled shyly and whispered back, "I thought we’d already done that …"

"Oh …. I think there’s a long ways ta go yet." His eyes flew upwards and he took her hand in his. "Whatdya think?"

She reached up to gently run her fingertips over his swollen lips. "You have the best ideas Mr Sully," she retorted lovingly, before leading him across the dimly lit room to the staircase.

Chapter 23

"What are you thinking?" asked Michaela into the silence. In the few minutes since she’d come awake, she’d realised that Sully too was not sleeping. The only light in their room came from the dying embers in the fireplace and the dimmed lamp on Sully’s night-stand. She was curled up against him while he was laying on his back, his hands clasped behind his head.

He jumped as she spoke and his hand came down to lovingly cup her head against his chest. "Yesterday," he replied quietly. Michaela swallowed and unconsciously her body tensed. Joseph gently caressed the bare skin of her arm and shoulder. "Its alright," he murmured reassuringly, sensing her disquiet. "I aint feelin’ like I was then …"

Michaela took a deep breath and peered up into his face. "What then?" she asked softly. "Its so early …. you should be sleeping …. the sun’s not even up …"

"Same could be said for you …" When she made no comment, he chuckled. "We did come ta bed sorta early didn’ we?" he remarked, his eyes twinkling.

In response, Michaela blushed and momentarily lowered her eyes. Then she raised herself a little to more easily observe his expression. "What *were* you thinking about then?" she reiterated.

Joseph swallowed and said softly. "I figure I gotta change my way of thinkin’ …. assume my memory aint gonna come back …."

"But it still might!" protested Michaela.

"I know …. an’ I really do hope it does …. But I gotta prepare more for if it don’t…. life’s gonna be different ta what we expected if it don’."

Michaela regarded him anxiously. "And what does the preparing entail?"

"Well …. I was thinkin’ about fittin’ in here …. an’ about Loren yesterday …. Do ya reckon everyone’s gonna be like him? Angry …. an’ accusin’…."

Michaela smiled. "You’ll soon learn that Loren’s bark is much worse than his bite …. You actually mean a lot more to him than he’ll ever let on …. Your disappearance effected him deeply …"

"An’ so he was angry?" Joseph’s forehead creased into a confused frown.

Michaela propped herself up on her elbow beside him and absent-mindedly began to caress his bare chest, her fingers lightly tracing concentric circles. "I remember when Katie was about six ….. she was late coming home from school ….. I waited and waited for her ….. When she finally turned up I wanted to pull her into my arms and cry with relief …. instead I yelled at her …. and ordered her upstairs without any supper ….," she related thoughtfully. "I suppose it’s a way of coping …. and hiding how we really feel ….."

Sully smiled at her explanation and lightly kissed her on the forehead. "What about the others? They gonna be the same?"

"No …..,"replied Michaela guardedly. "Their reactions will differ I think … Some of our friends will be delighted…. I can’t wait to see Horace’s face …. but I don’t know how Jake and Teresa Slicker will react …. And then there are people who’ve settled in town since you disappeared …. like Sheriff Miller, Stephen Monroe at the bank, and Katie’s teacher Patrick Hughes and his wife Peggy. I’d imagine they’re going to find our story rather difficult to believe …."

"So it aint gonna be easy huh? …"

"I guess not …. but then I’ve never known you to be put off by people’s attitudes …" She lovingly brushed his hair back from his face.

Joseph heaved a large sigh. "Well …. better think about facin’ ‘em head on then …. right? Get it over with …." As he spoke, he slid his arm in underneath her and then rolled so that she suddenly lay on top of him, skin against skin from chest to toe. He smiled up at her. "Whatdya think? Will we try it today? Maybe go inta town?" he whispered, his mouth enticingly close to hers.

She swallowed as her senses were stirred by the feel of him beneath her. She nodded and whispered, "Today … if you feel you’re ready …. It may be a bumpy ride …."

"I’m ready," he murmured ambiguously.

Michaela smiled and ran the tips of her fingers lightly up his neck, then she slowly, enticingly, traced the shape of his face. In response, he lifted his head from the pillow seeking her lips, but she tilted her head back tormentingly, a teasing smile on her face. She moved subtly over him, accentuating the electrifying feel of skin against skin, and continued the gentle, sensual caressing. She whispered huskily, "I’ll be with you ….. you know that don’t you? ….Today …. tomorrow …. always, whatever happens…"

He swallowed and his breathing quickened. "Uh huh," he gasped, lifting his head from the pillow once more. When she again refused to lower her mouth to his, he began to run his hands over her rapidly warming skin – up over her buttocks, back and shoulders and then down again – in an arousing, loving massage. She sighed with pleasure and then, as the stroking increased in intensity, shivered with growing excitement.

"I’ll be with you too," he breathed, tenderly stroking the nape of her neck beneath the fall of her silky hair, his sultry eyes locking with hers. "I aint disappearin’ agin …. We’re gonna grow old together ….. you an’ me …" As Michaela’s eyes suddenly shimmered with tears, he gently drew her head down and finally claimed her parted lips for a delicious, long kiss which deepened compellingly, fuelled by their loving touches and avowals.

As Michaela writhed sensually atop him, he gently manoeuvred their bodies so they could joyously unite. She moaned rapturously and began slow, sensuous movements further heightening their pleasure until he abruptly rolled her sideways and under, as each enthusiastically sought an exhilarating release.

Afterwards, he drew the blankets up over their damp skin of their still quivering bodies and enfolded her in a loving embrace. "You an’ me Michaela," he murmured, as she drifted off to sleep. "You an’ me …. we’re gonna make it work …"

*********************

Michaela folded the last piece of washing and glanced up as she heard Sully chuckle. He was sitting in the living-room before the fire and had been reading since shortly after lunch. Again he laughed. She smiled and walked quietly across the room. She came up behind him and bent down, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and trailing her fingers over his chest through the opening in the front of his shirt. "What’s so funny?" she asked softly against his ear.

He chuckled again. "I’m startin’ ta think the folks here aint too clever," he remarked, turning the page.

"What do you mean?" asked Michaela, a little affronted for her friends. "And what are you reading?"

Joseph flipped the book over so she could see the cover. "Dorothy gave me this yesterday …. I’m learnin’ a lot about Colorado Springs," he commented. "But I still think the folks ‘round here aint too clever …"

Behind him Michaela reddened a little, immediately wondering what part of the book he was up to. "Why do you say that?" she asked, her tone subdued.

"I was readin’ ‘bout you winning that horse race …. as a man," he laughed. "I can’t believe folks’d be stupid enough to mistake you for a man …"

Michaela walked around the chair and glared down at him, though there was a distinct twinkle in her eye. "I’ll have you know I had everyone fooled …. right until the end of the race …."

He looked her up and down somewhat suggestively until she blushed. "I’m sorry Michaela …. but I could never mistake ya for a man."

She giggled. "Just goes to show what a good actress I am hmmm? As a matter of fact it was you who taught me to walk like a man …. and chew tobacco and spit …"

Joseph burst into gales of laughter, something Michaela had never heard him do. He suddenly reached out and pulled her down to sit across his lap. "I did huh? …. I sure wish I could remember that …. my ladylike Michaela chewin’ tobacco …"

Michaela chuckled and nestled down to lean against his shoulder. "It was licorice actually," she admitted. "I just couldn’t imagine chewing tobacco."

"An’ no-one guessed it was you?"

"No …. I had them all fooled …. I was dressed in baggy men’s clothes and a large hat … Matthew introduced me as his cousin …. and they fell for it …. Well actually not all of them …. Myra …. she was engaged to Horace then …. she recognised me … and didn’t let on …."

"So how’d they find out?"

"After I’d won the race …. and made my point about their ridiculous rules banning women from racing … I had great pleasure in disclosing my true identity ….," Michaela laughed. "Most of them took it in good humour …. though Hank wasn’t too impressed .."

"That don’ surprise me …," murmured Sully with a wry smile. He wrapped one arm around her and then his eyes returned to the book.

Michaela’s eyes also went to the book’s pages and realising the section he was about to reach, her heightened colour returned. She reached up to run her fingers through his hair lovingly and murmured enticingly, "Speaking of riding …. why don’t we go for a ride before we head into town later hmmm?"

Without raising his eyes from the book, Joseph remarked, "Awful cold out … wind’s come up …"

Michaela grimaced and tried again. "We’d get warm riding …"

Detecting something in her tone, Joseph raised his eyes to hers. "Somethin’ botherin’ you Michaela?" he asked.

"No … I’m fine," she replied, her tone deliberately light.

Joseph wasn’t fooled. "Nah … somethin’s worryin’ ya … I can tell …." She sat up straight and made to move from his lap but he held her tight. Noting the direction of her eyes, he held up the book. "Somethin’ in here?" Michaela shrugged her shoulders in studied nonchalance. Suddenly Joseph’s face broke into a wide smile. "You didn’ want me ta read this when we were in Paynesville did ya? An’ now you want me ta stop …" He chuckled. "I must be gittin’ to the interestin’ bit," he teased. Michaela blushed and he exclaimed, "I’m right aint I!"

He watched as her face clouded and she murmured, "What Dorothy wrote …. its sort of personal …."

"So why’d she write it?"

"I think she just didn’t realise how it was …. but at the time I was very angry …"

"Is it somethin’ I knew?"

She shrugged her shoulders and coloured self-consciously. When she spoke her voice was low. "Probably," she murmured. "We never really talked about it …. I couldn’t … I was too …. too …."

"Embarrassed?"

"No …. shy perhaps …" She rested her hand on his. "Now can we go for a ride?" she asked.

Joseph regarded her for a moment and then replied guardedly, "Nooo …. I reckon we should keep readin’."

"But …."

"You said I knew back then ….. an’ I don’t now …. I figure we *need* ta keep readin’ …"

Michaela swallowed and slumped back against him. "Alright," she said resignedly. "Everyone in Colorado Springs read that book and knows about me …. perhaps you should too …"

For the next hour there was silence in the room except for the crackling of the fire and the occasional barely audible sigh from Michaela as she read the familiar words along with Sully. At last he placed his bookmark at the end of the chapter and closed the book. She watched him intently, awaiting his reaction. He looked up and smiled at her cheekily. "Don’ sound much like the woman who threw herself into my arms in Paynesville," he commented, causing her to blush. As she opened her mouth to defend herself, he continued, "But actually I aint surprised …. Woman raised in Boston society … always concentratin’ on her studies …. like Dorothy says …. It aint hard ta imagine you were rather shy an’ nervous ….an’ …. an’…. innocent ….. I still see that sometimes …."

"You do? …."

"Yep …. its one of the most intriguin’ things about ya …. One minute you’re too shy ta do or say somethin’ an’ the next ya comin’ to my room in the middle of the night …" Again he grinned cheekily.

She shyly returned his smile. "I used to be worried I wouldn’t please you …"

"Seems ta me you soon found out that weren’t gonna happen …."

"How do you know that?"

"I just know it …. You wouldna come to me that night if you knew you weren’t gonna please me …." He drew her head down for a kiss and then said in hushed tones, "Wouldna taken either of us too long ta find out that bein’ together was gonna please us both huh …"

This time Michaela dipped her head to initiate the kiss and then said softly, "You’re right …. but I had no idea that would be the case before we were married …. You were so sure of yourself and us …. and I was a bundle of nerves …. wanting to be with you …. and afraid at the same time."

"You aint afraid now …."

She chuckled. "No …. I’m not afraid now," she reiterated lovingly. She leant back against him and fixed her eyes on the flames in the fireplace. "When Colleen married Andrew all I could hope was that they’d be as happy as you and I …. I still hope its the case …"

"No way of knowin’ Michaela …. Like ya said …. its personal ….. just between you an’ me …." He gently cupped her cheek and turned her face so he could look into her eyes. "You’d always tell me if somethin’ was worryin’ ya …. if I was doin’ somethin’ … or actin’ in some way that made ya unhappy … or uncomfortable …. wouldn’ ya?"

"I’m not very good at talking about my feelings …"

"But you’ll try …. Right?"

Michaela smiled and nodded. "I’ll try," she said softly. She ran a fingertip over the scar on his forehead. "I love you so much," she murmured. "I’ve never felt so lucky …. We have a second chance …"

"Uh huh …. an’ we’re gonna make the most of it Michaela …," agreed Joseph. He glanced across at the clock. "We better be thinkin’ bout headin’ inta town …"

She nodded and reluctantly edged herself off Sully’s knee and stood to straighten her skirt.

***********************

Katie took the steps from the road to the mercantile porch in one exuberant leap and skipped into the store, seeking her old friend. Spying him sitting at the table with the reverend, she ran across to him. "Afternoon Mr Bray," she said cheerfully.

"Katie girl!" exclaimed the old storekeeper whose soft spot for little Katie was no secret. "Haven’t seen you since ya got back."

"I bin busy," said the little girl in a serious tone, then she turned up her nose. "I hadta go back to school yesterday …"

Loren chuckled. "You did … did ya …. I take it you weren’t too pleased about that …"

"School’s alright," Katie conceded, and then smiled cheekily, "But I like it better when I don’ haveta go…"

"How’s ya ma Katie?" asked the reverend, from his chair beside Loren.

"She’s real good Reverend," answered the little girl. "She told me ta ask if you an’ Mr Bray would have supper with us tonight …. at Miss Grace’s …. seein’ as we just got home …."

"That sounds like a lovely idea …. don’ it Loren?" replied the clergyman with a smile.

Loren nodded wisely. "Yeah … tell ya ma we’ll be there …," he told her. "Everyone comin’?"

"I guess so Mr Bray," replied Katie. "I gotta go see some more folks …" She turned and began to walk from the store. "See ya at supper then," she called as she took off out the door at a run.

After she’d gone, both men exchanged wry chuckles. "Sounds like Sully’s gonna make his first public appearance," remarked Loren in a low tone.

The Reverend shook his head. "I still find your story hard to believe Loren," he murmured.

"You wait til tonight Reverend … you’ll see … its him alright …. Like he’s come back from the dead …"

The Reverend clicked his tongue and said, despite the good-natured upturn of his lip, "You be careful Loren …. that borders on blasphemy you know …"

The old storekeeper merely chuckled at his friend. "You mark my words Reverend, some folks are gonna git a mighty big surprise at supper."

Katie’s next stop was the railway station where she accosted Horace between customers. "Afternoon Mr Bing," she greeted.

The gangly telegraph operator’s eyes opened wide. "Where’d you come from Katie Sully?!" he exclaimed. "Last thing I heard you were down south somewhere!"

"We were in Paynesville," replied the little girl. "We got home a couple of days ago."

"You did? Not on the train … I never saw ya!"

"We got off at Manitou and came the rest of the way in a buggy," she explained. "Mama wanted me to ask ya if you’d like to have supper with us tonight at Miss Grace’s … seein’ we just got home …"

Horace beamed. "That sounds real nice sweetheart …. You tell your ma I’d like that." As Katie nodded and turned to go, he asked, "Everythin’s alright aint it? … You an’ ya ma were gone a long time …"

In an exact replica of her mother, Katie bit her lip and regarded the telegraph operator intently. Mindful of her ma’s advice not to mention her pa unless she had to, she wasn’t sure how to reply. At last she said, "Everythin’s fine Mr Bing …. real fine …. You’ll find out why we were down there when ya come to supper … I gotta go see some other folks." And before Horace could say anything else she took off down the street at speed.

Horace watched her indulgently as she disappeared around a corner. Since Sully’s disappearance Katie had sort of been adopted by the whole town, with everyone looking out for her. It felt good to know her and her ma were home safe. With a sigh he returned to sorting the afternoon mail.

************************

Michaela watched Colleen place the last patient file away in the cupboard and turned to Sully. "Ready?" she asked with concern.

Joseph nodded and took a deep breath. "After readin’ about ‘em this afternoon I shouldn’ be feelin’ nervous … but I am a little," he admitted.

"Relax…. Most of the town will be very pleased to know you’re alive and well Sully," remarked Andrew, as he systematically extinguished the lamps. He unhooked Colleen’s burgundy cloak from the hook on the wall. "We’re ready too," he said with a smile. "We’ll head over there before you Michaela …Sully …."

Colleen halted next to Sully. "It’ll be fine pa … you’ll see …" She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Its so good to have you home," she said softly. She shyly lowered her eyes to the floor before taking her husband’s arm and leaving with him.

"Well?" said Michaela with a smile. "Time we went and surprised a few people hmmm?"

Joseph nodded and held out his arm to his wife. "Let’s hope we don’ give anyone a heart attack," he joked. "Maybe I should wear a sign sayin’ ‘I am not a ghost’."

Michaela chuckled. "Knowing the people of this town … that probably wouldn’t even convince them. Come on Mr Sully …. time to meet your old friends …"

Chapter 24

In full view of the drinkers standing on the porch of the saloon opposite, Sully and Michaela exited the clinic, and in the December twilight strolled the short distance to Grace’s café. There were several second looks, firstly in light of Dr Quinn being arm in arm with a man, and secondly when a number of the observers recognised, or thought they recognised, the man who was escorting her. Inside the establishment, word quickly spread, much to the amusement of Hank who gave last minute instructions to Jimmy about closing up, and then plonked his hat on his fair curls and headed for the café also.

Nothing could contain Grace’s delight when Michaela and Sully entered her premises. Grinning broadly, she hurried across and wrapped her arms around first one and then the other. "Oooh … its so good ta see ya both together like this!" she exclaimed. "Feels like the years in between never happened." She led them across to a gaily decorated table where the rest of their family and Robert E and Ellen were already seated. "Now Dr Mike you sit here, an’ Sully here," she instructed. "I gotta go check on the chicken …."

Michaela regarded her with dismay. "Grace …. I asked you not to make a fuss …," she exclaimed. "It was supposed to be a quiet affair."

Grace giggled and shook her head. "You don’ think it was goin’ ta stay a quiet affair when folks discovered who was with ya, do ya?" she exhorted. "Besides …. if I wanna turn it into a welcome home party …. I will. Now you sit down an’ let me do the worryin’." She gave them both a cheery wink and headed for the ovens.

Michaela sighed and seated herself where Grace had indicated. She turned to regard Sully apprehensively.

Joseph was gazing around at his family in something akin to awe. It was one thing to be with them all in the privacy of the homestead, but quite another to be in full view of inquisitive strangers, well strangers to him anyway. He seated himself next to Michaela and was reassured when her hand came out to grasp his under the table. He turned and gave her a loving smile in response, a gesture not missed by the older siblings. He took a deep breath and summoned up a smile for everyone whose eyes seemed to be focussed on him.

Almost as if she was aware of her father’s discomfit, Katie slid from her chair and walked around to stand beside him. As soon as he edged his chair back a little and turned towards her she clambered up onto his knee and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Table’s real pretty aint it pa?" she asked eagerly, indicating the vases of winter daisies. "Miss Grace asked me ta pick ‘em."

Joseph gave his little daughter a loving squeeze and replied, "You did a real good job Kates …. bet ya ma likes ‘em too …"

The little girl returned her pa’s squeeze and then her eyes lit up as Loren and the Reverend entered the café, followed closely by Hank.

Loren Bray made a beeline for Sully and held out his hand. When Sully took it he shook it vigorously. "Just wanted ta tell ya agin I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday …. it was such a shock seein’ ya like that …. after all this time …," he explained contritely and was relieved when Sully acknowledged his apology with a nod.

Behind Loren, the Reverend was listening intently. At last he stepped forward and said impatiently, "Evenin’ folks … Loren mentioned yesterday mornin’ …. I …. I …. must admit I found his story hard ta believe …" He paused, and then said with an expectant smile, "If it is you Sully …. just say somethin’ … anythin’ …. so’s I know …"

Joseph rose from his chair and said clearly, "Pleased ta meet ya Reverend …"

The clergyman’s mouth fell open. "Oh my," he murmured wonderingly. "It *is* you … I’d know that voice anywhere …" He held out his hand in the direction of the familiar voice. "I still can’t believe it … but I’m real pleased you’re back with your family …. Welcome home Sully …"

Although Joseph felt ill at ease as the centre of attention, the Reverend’s sincerity was very moving. "Thanks Reverend," he replied quietly. "Its good ta be back …. even if I don’ know a lot of folks … or why things are like they are most of the time …"

The Reverend rested his hand on Sully’s shoulder. "You’ve come this far my friend … I’m sure everything else will naturally follow …"

"I sure hope you’re right," Joseph responded sincerely. "But even if my memory don’ come back …. I figure we can still make it work …. with the help of family an’ friends …"

"Well … you can count on me for that Sully …. I know how much it’ll mean to your family to have you back …. and I’m sure Loren feels the same …," offered the clergyman.

Horace Bing removed his hat, straightened his coat and then pushed the door to Grace’s café open. He was feeling grateful that Dr Mike had asked him to join her family for supper tonight. Some nights, after a long day at work, returning to his single room alone left him feeling melancholy still, no matter how hard he fought it.

Once inside, he was surprised by the high volume of noise in the café and the general buzz of excitement. Seemed Dr Mike had decided to have a party instead of the quiet dinner he’d anticipated. As he looked around it was obvious that all the familiar faces were present, even Hank, who, in the past, probably wouldn’t have been invited to a Quinn/Sully gathering. His eyes narrowed as he tried to find Dr Mike. There was a close-knit group of people over in one corner and he supposed Dr Mike was amongst them. He could see Loren and the Reverend, and of course Dr Mike’s kids, including Dr Cook.

He began to make his way across to them when the group broke apart for a moment and he spied Dr Mike. She was smiling broadly and her eyes were sparkling, something he hadn’t seen for a while, well not since Sully’s death actually. And then suddenly his heart seemed to stop and the noise around him became an indeterminate hum in his ears. It couldn’t be! As quickly as the circle of friends around Dr Mike had parted, it closed again and he lost sight of her and her companion. His brow creased into a baffled frown. Maybe he was going mad!

He tentatively made his way across to the group and utilising his considerable height, peered over the top of several of them. Again his heart pounded. "Sully?!" he murmured. The buzz of talk did not cease. "Sully?! he repeated, and this time his voice emerged stridently and loudly. There was a sudden silence and everyone turned to gaze at him, some with an amused smile on their faces.

Joseph glanced across at Michaela in bewilderment, uncertain as to the identity of this new arrival. He took a hesitant step forward, his hand held out. "Hey," he said quietly.

Horace remained rooted to the spot, his eyes wide, his complexion pale. "It can’t be you," he murmured. "It can’t be….. not after all this time …"

Michaela hastily stepped forward. "Ah … Sully …. this is Horace Bing …."

Joseph abruptly smiled in realisation. "The telegraph operator," he said quietly. "I was best man at your weddin’."

Horace frowned in confusion. "Why’re ya lookin’ at me like that Sully …. an’ talkin’ like ya don’ know me? It aint bin that long since I saw ya …," he demanded agitatedly. "Where’re ya bin anyway …. We spent months lookin’ for ya?"

Joseph took a deep breath, giving himself some time to arrive at a credible explanation. There was a hush as everyone waited, even friends who already knew the story but perhaps had not heard it from the man himself. He opened his mouth to speak, but was forestalled by another incredulous "Sully?!" from the doorway of the café. Everyone swung around to see Jake, his heavily pregnant wife Teresa, and their little boy. Both adults were standing open-mouthed, while four year old Carlos cowered behind his mother’s skirts frightened by the numerous pairs of eyes focussed in his direction. Jake took a step forward, his eyes fixed on the apparition before him. "Sully?" he repeated. "It aint possible."

Michaela walked quickly across to them and taking little Carlos’ hand, led them into the gathering. She turned to her husband. "This is Jake Slicker, his wife Teresa and their little boy Carlos, but you’ve never met him, he was born just a few months after you disappeared."

Again Joseph took a deep breath and then held out his hand to Jake. The barber shook it perfunctorily, his mind obviously whirling. "Where ya bin all this time Sully?" he finally blurted out.

"Jacob!" exclaimed Teresa embarrassedly. "This is not our business."

Jake reddened but his gaze remained fixed on Sully.

Michaela stepped up close to her husband and took his hand reassuringly. "Will you tell them … or will I?" she asked.

Joseph’s gaze encompassed the faces of all those around him. Suddenly he felt like an ogled caged animal or even a freak in a sideshow. He gulped and then straightened his shoulders. "I’ll tell ‘em," he said quietly. He drew her close so he could wrap his arm around her waist and began. "Until a few weeks ago I didn’ know any of you existed," he said, his voice low. When Horace looked as if he was going to interject he raised his hand to halt him. "I didn’ even know ‘bout Michaela …. or the kids …. Ya see …. back when I went missin’ I had an accident …. I was knocked unconscious …. seems I was out to it for weeks …. When I woke up I didn’ have a clue who I was …"

Jake’s mouth dropped open again, Horace looked totally perplexed and Teresa’s hand went to her mouth in astonishment. Joseph continued, "Far as I was concerned I was alone …. ‘cept for the folks in Paynesville who kept me alive …. It wasn’ til Michaela an’ Matthew an’ Hank turned up a few weeks back that I knew anythin’ about here …. an’ all of you …"

Jake turned his eyes accusingly on Michaela. "That true Dr Mike?" he asked. "Can that happen?"

Michaela nodded. "Its true Jake … its called amnesia … where a trauma causes a person to lose their memory …," she explained quietly.

This time Horace did interject. "But it aint permanent …" He turned to Sully and demanded, "But ya remember now …. right?"

Joseph shrugged his shoulders. "A little," he admitted reluctantly. "Not much .."

"So ya don’ remember me … or Jake …. or Teresa?"

"I’m sorry Horace," murmured Joseph in a small voice.

The gangly telegraph operator seemed to give this pronouncement considerable thought before stating, "Well Sully … don’ matter to me whether ya remember or not …. I’m real glad you’re alive after all this time …. We thought you’d bin killed somehow … an’ it was hard not knowin’ …" He finished with a broad, sympathetic smile.

Joseph smiled gratefully in return. "Thanks Horace …. I appreciate that …. I didn’ really know how people would react …," he said quietly.

Horace suddenly chuckled. "I bet Cloud Dancin’s gonna git a shock when he comes back ….," he suggested.

"I’ve already seen him," replied Joseph. "I just wish I could remember more about him … all of you …."

Again Jake addressed Michaela. "This amnesia …. it aint permanent is it? …. Sully’s memory *will* come back …."

Michaela gazed lovingly up at her husband before replying. "We’re hoping so …. There’s no way of knowing …."

Jake suddenly clapped Sully on the back. "Well … maybe we’ve had our differences over the years …. but welcome home …. "

At that moment Grace returned bearing a heavy platter of roasted chicken and potatoes. "Here we are folks," she announced. "Why don’ ya all find yourselves a seat an’ eat before everythin’ gits cold."

************************

In the far corner of Grace’s café, a handsome, fair-headed man sat consuming his supper and observing the proceedings at Dr Quinn’s table with misgiving. He watched with more than interest as Michaela welcomed her guests, her eyes sparkling, her beautiful coppery hair swirling around her shoulders and in the lamplight shimmering down to her waist. His eyes narrowed as he observed her devotion to her male companion, a man he knew he’d never seen before; staying close beside him, the reassuring, even loving touches, the ready smiles.

For more than two years Stephen Monroe had been courting Michaela. At least that was the way he saw it in his mind. He’d respected her wishes to remain merely friends, to keep their conversation light, to ensure that no-one in town could misconstrue their relationship. After all she’d been relatively recently widowed and he’d reckoned on having plenty of time to change her attitude towards him and his suit. Now it seemed there was a rival, and a serious one at that.

Since his arrival in town to take over the managership of the Second Bank of Denver, she had filled his mind. He could still remember the first time they met, as clearly as if it happened yesterday. In the hot summer sun he’d been unloading his trunks from the buggy, and suddenly a little honey blond girl had cannoned into him as she made for the mercantile. She’d lurched backwards, finally landing in an unholy heap at his feet. He’d expected her to burst into tears, instead she’d glared up at him accusingly. That’s when her mother arrived, apologising profusely for her daughter’s unruly behaviour. From that moment on he’d been captivated. And with each day, each meeting, that captivation had intensified.

His eyes swung to the doorway as Jake Slicker entered and uttered in amazement, "Sully?!" He frowned. Wasn’t that Michaela’s husband’s name? But he’d died, almost four years ago, somewhere further west. His eyes flew to the man close beside her, the man whose blue eyes were now fixed uncertainly on Jake. Sully? It didn’t make sense, no sense at all.

The waitress approached and asked if he wanted pie. He shook his head dismissively, his concentration centred on the gathering of friends across the room. He watched as Jake and Teresa Slicker moved closer, and he had to strain his ears to hear what was being said. It seemed that most of the townspeople knew the man and were extremely surprised to see him. He caught the word ‘amnesia’. Wasn’t that something to do with losing one’s memory? Suddenly Horace good-naturedly slapped the man on the back and he heard clearly the words he’d dreaded. It seemed that this man was indeed Michaela’s long-lost husband. He sighed and his jaw clenched. All those wasted years! He stood, dispiritedly tossed some coins onto the table, clamped his hat on his blond head and slunk out, his heart heavy.

**********************

"Ready to go?" asked Joseph, a soundly sleeping Katie held lovingly in his arms.

"Uh huh …. I just want to thank Grace again," Michaela replied. "Then we can leave." She glanced around the now nearly deserted café. The only people remaining were Matthew and Robert E, who like Sully, was holding a sleeping daughter. Grace bustled in from the kitchen and Michaela immediately approached her. "I want to thank you Grace … for a lovely evening …. I know it was difficult for Sully at first …. but your hospitality eased the situation a lot …"

Grace beamed. "Aint nothin’ Dr Mike," she replied caringly. "You know how much you an’ Sully mean ta Robert E an’ me …" She glanced across to where the two men sat waiting. "You see him like that …. an’ ya know that even if his memory don’ come back, everythin’s gonna be fine … he loves that little girl so … an’ you too …. Ya can see it in the way he looks at you both …."

Michaela blushed and gave her friend a loving hug. "You two mean a lot to Sully and I too," she murmured softly. She pulled back. "We’d better be going …. I’m coming in to the clinic tomorrow …. so I’ll see you then." She made her way over to Sully who rose from his chair. "Is she warm enough?" she asked, touching the back of her fingers to Katie’s cheek.

"Uh huh …. I’ll keep her close … an’ warm Michaela …," he replied.

She looked up into her husband’s entrancing blue eyes. Grace was right. You *could* see his love for them both. She smiled. "I know you will," she said softly, shrugging into her heavy winter coat.

As they began to walk towards the café door there was the sound of heavy, running footsteps from outside and the door abruptly swung open. "Dr Mike!" exclaimed Jake. "Thank God you’re still here …. Its Teresa …. she’s havin’ pains …."

**********************

Michaela ushered Jake who was supporting his wife, into the clinic and then indicated that the woman should sit on the examination table. Jake assisted her up and then retreated to the doorway. Teresa glanced around. "Where is Dr Cook?" she asked, her brow creased in pain, her voice sharp.

"Colleen and Andrew went home a while back Teresa …. They both have appointments early in the morning," replied Michaela calmly, putting her stethoscope to her ears.

Teresa pulled the fronts of her dark green cloak together. "I will be fine Dr Quinn …. It is nothing …. I am sure," she stated decisively, easing herself gingerly to the floor.

Michaela regarded her in puzzlement. When Teresa had first arrived in Colorado Springs she’d expressed a fair degree of antagonism towards the lady doctor, however, over the years much of that had dissipated. Then, with the birth of Carlos, after a long agonising labour during which Michaela had refused to leave, they had, she thought, become uneasy friends. Her behaviour now though was a regression to that of many years ago. "We’ll know if its nothing after I’ve examined you," stated Michaela resolutely. "Any pain at this stage in your pregnancy should be investigated."

"The pains are going away now Dr Quinn," said Teresa. "I will come back in the morning and see Dr Cook."

Michaela gritted her teeth. "I thought you has begun to call me Michaela Teresa," she said quietly. "Is something wrong?"

Teresa refused to look her in the eye. Instead her brown eyes flew to her husband, still standing uncertainly at the clinic door. "Jacob … I wish to go home now," she said authoritatively.

Jake swallowed. "But Teresa …. if …. if …. there’s pain …," he stammered.

"I am fine now," she restated. "The pain has gone."

Jake looked appealingly across at Michaela. "Dr Mike?" he implored.

"Perhaps you should get the buggy ready Jake and check on Carlos," she suggested. "Teresa will be ready in a few minutes ….. I hope …."

Jake nodded gratefully and quickly left. Michaela turned back to her patient. "Teresa?" she said gently. "Why are you acting like this?"

The tense, pregnant woman suddenly turned her troubled brown eyes on the doctor. "It is nothing Dr Quinn," she replied.

"Nothing?"

Teresa shrugged and again their eyes met. There was a long silence and then Teresa abruptly asked, "You believe this story of your husband?"

Michaela regarded her in amazement. "Of course I do," she exhorted.

"After all this time?"

"Yes …. absolutely!"

"You have no doubts?"

"None …"

"But how do you know it to be the truth? Why do you believe so strongly?"

Michaela laid her hand gently on the shoulder of the woman who suddenly appeared so vulnerable. "Two reasons Teresa," she said quietly but with surety. "First …. when Matthew, Hank and I arrived in Paynesville a few weeks back, Sully didn’t have a clue who we were …. I’d have known if there was any inkling …. there wasn’t. He was so alone …. lost …. unsure of himself …. And secondly …. and more importantly … I have always been certain of our love …." Teresa lowered her eyes to her hand which was slowly caressing her swollen stomach, and Michaela continued. "I’ve been aware of the rumours Teresa …. that Sully just took off .…. so hurtful …. made up by people who must give vent to their spite …. I know that the children heard them … and were hurt by them too .… but I never doubted Sully …. and I spent a great deal of time ensuring that the children never doubted him either …."

Teresa shook her head and when she raised her eyes to Michaela once more, they were tear-filled. "You have been given a second chance Michaela," she said softly. "God is not usually so generous …."

Suddenly Michaela understood the woman’s anguish and she laid her hand tenderly over hers, stilling it. "I know," she murmured. "Oh Lord, I know …. It’s beyond comprehension why God chose us …. but please don’t begrudge us our second chance …"

A sob caught in the mexican woman’s throat. "I’m sorry," she said soulfully. "All I could think was that I was not given such an opportunity …. God did not give me back my Guillermo."

"Oh Teresa ….," consoled Michaela.

The woman suddenly straightened and schooled her features into their usually implacable facade. "You may examine me now Michaela ….. but the pains *have* gone … I am sure I will be fine ….," she said coolly.

Michaela sighed. She knew the use of her first name meant that an uneasy truce had once more been called in the complicated relationship between the two of them. She patted Teresa’s hand compassionately and placed the bell of the stethoscope to her distended stomach.