Wuz de nite befo Crimmus,
And all ower da hood,
ereybody wuz' sleepin',
Dey wuz sleepin' good.
We hunged up our stockings,
An hoped like de' heck,
That old Santa Clause,
Be bringin' our check.
All o'de fambily,
Wuz layin in de beds,
While Ripple and Thunderbird,
Danced through dey heads.
I passed out inna' flo,
Right nex to my Maw,
When I heard sech a fuss,
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
I looked out thru de bars,
What covered my doe,
'spectin' de sheriff,
Wif a warrent fo sho.
And what did I see,
said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge watermellon,
Pulled by giant warf rats!!
Now ober all de years,
Santa Clause, he be white,
But looks liken us bros,
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a Po'lees car,
My home boy he came,
He whupped on dem warf rats,
An' called dem by name!
On Leroy, on 'Lonzo!
And on Willie Lee!
On Saphire, on Chenequa!
Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed dat watta' mellon,
Out der in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo' sho!
Da damndest site I ebber did see.
He didn't go down no chimbley,
He picked da' lock on my doe,
An' I sez to myself,
"Sh*t!! He done dis befoe!!!"
He had dis big bag,
Full of prezents I 'xpect,
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold,
To wear roun' my neck.
But he left no good prezents,
Jus started stealing my sh*t,
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!!
Wit my stuff in de bag,
Out da window he flewed,
I woudda' tried to catched him,
But he stoled my 'nife too!!
He jumped on dat wadda' mellon,
An' whipped out a switch,
He wuz gone in a seccon',
Dat son of a b*tch!!
Next year I be hopin',
Anutha Sanna we git,
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause,
Jus' ain't werf a sh*t!!!
Back to Dark Lady's Disgruntled Christmas Page
Back to Stink, Stank, Stunk: Dark Lady's Grinch Page
