W I T H  B E L L S  O N


Trim the tree wrap the presents turn the Christmas music on this Christmas I'll be home with bells on. I traveled round this country cross the waters deep and wide made lots of friends and memories brought joy to others lives it's Christmas time again and another year has come and gone and I can't keep from wondering how the old folks are back home (chorus). When the snow is on the meadow and the sleigh bells jingle bright and the kids are singing jingle bells around the Christmas lights as daddy starts the first, mama puts the turkey on ain't nothin gonna slow me down this Christmas I'll be home (chorus)

R U P A U L  T H E  R E D  N O S E D
D R A G  Q U E E N


Alright ya'll, here's the story of the legendary queens. Miss Dasha, Dancer, Prancy, Vixen, Lady Comet, Cupid, Donna and Blitzidia but child do you remember the fiercest drag queen of them all? RuPaul the red nosed drag queen had a very shiny nose and if you ever saw it you would even say it glows. All of the other drag queens used to laugh and call her names they never let poor RuPaul join in any drag queen games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say "RuPaul with your nose so bright won't you star in my show tonight?". Then all the drag queens loved her as they shouted out with glee, "RuPaul you bigfoot red nosed drag queen, you'll go down in history."

A L L  I  W A N T  F O R
C H R I S T M A S


Alright kids, are you ready for me? I know I look good but there's always room for improvement. All I want for Christmas is my liposuction, I want some lypo honey I want you to put it all over my body. All I want for Christmas is my cheek implants and my chin implants and lets see my butt should be risen. SOME PARTS ARE FAKE SOME PARTS ARE PLASTIC SOME EVEN SAY THAT I'M A PHONY BUT I'VE DIPPED INTO THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH AND THAT AIN'T NO BALONEY! So all I want for Christmas is my nose fixed up, hey I want a nose job (Rhino Plastique?) All I want for Christmas is my teeth capped, I want my teeth capped and throw in an eye job while you're at it. You know this is a damn shame look at these styles. Honey, gravity is a bitch. But baby, I got my secret weapon, Park Avenue Plastic Surgeon. All I want for Christmas is my ribs removed, I want my ribs removed I don't need em no more. All I want for Christmas is my cheek implants, throw in a derma peel while you're at it. Doctor, doctor hurry please you're needed here on the double. All the other queens, they're jealous of me and their men's gonna be in trouble. All I want for Christmas is my face lifted, I want my face
lifted, I want my face snatched! All I want for Christmas is my face snatched so I can be oh so marvelous! Oh honey, I could use it all over my body. Nah, I ain't got nothing against it. Honey, I've been sucked, plucked, cinched, pinched, pulled, snatched, baby, I have had every procedure done and as long as there is a doctor on Park Avenue, I'll be
looking good. Let me tell you something, Miss Paul is gonna be fresh, fresh as a daisy. (chorus) All I want for Christmas is my breast implants, I want my breaks implants baby I want my breast implants. All I want for Christmas is my tummy tucked so I can look real perty!

S A N T A  B A B Y


Santa baby slippers leave them under the tree for me I've been an awful
good queen Santa baby hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa Baby a '54 convertible too I'm waiting up for you dear so Santa baby hurry down the chimney tonight. Think about the fun I haven't missed think of the fellas I haven't kisses. next year I can be as good if you check off my Christmas list. Santa baby I want a yacht and really not a lot I've been an angel all year. Hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa honey, one little thing I really need A RING. Santa baby hurry on down that chimney baby tonight. Come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations by Tiffany's. Santa baby, I forgot to mention one little thing, a ring, and I don't mean on the phone. Santa baby hurry on down that chimney tonight daddy if you know what I mean. Come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations by Tiffany's. I really do believe in you, I want to see if you can believe in me.

A L L  A L O N E  O N  C H R I S T M A S


The cool wind is blowing and the streets are getting dark I'm writing you a letter and I don't know where to start. The bells will be ringing St.
John 35 I get a little lonely every year this time. The music plays all night the lights will be going up in ol' Rockafella. People window shopping on 5th Avenue all I want for Christmas is you. I WANNA KNOW WHERE DO LONELY HEARTS GO, NOBODY OUGHT TO BE ALL ALONE ON CHRISTMAS. Things are different since you've been here last, childhood dreaming is a thing of the past. Maybe you can bring us all hope this year, this visions of sugarplums have disappeared. Do you remember us riding in the snow, dancing on the night baby please come home. Today's celebration is bittersweet cuz mothers and children are all in the street (chorus). I'm all alone and ashamed you'll see I'm writing you this letter cuz I still believe. Dear Santa I've been good this year can you spend a little with me right here. (chorus)

C H R I S T M A S  T R A I N


All aboard the Christmas train hurry up and don't be late doo-op don't you stop take this party to the top. You came just in time everybody join the jam. (repeat) Joy to the world the lord has come the earth received her king let every heart prepare him and heaven and nature sing. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, t'is the season to be jolly. Deck the halls with boughs of holly fa la la la la la la la la. O come all ye faithful joyful and triumphant, O come ye o come ye to Bethlehem. Come and behold him born the kids of angels, o come let us adore him. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh what fun it is to ride and sing on a sleighing song tonight. Hark the Herald angles sing glory to the newborn king, We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

F U N K Y  C H R I S T M A S


It was the night before Christmas and all through my house not a creature was stirring not even a funky little mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care with hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there. MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE. MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS YA'LL, CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE. HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS YEAH, CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE. HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE. When all of a sudden there was such a platter I sprung up from my bed ya'll to see what was the matter and what do I'm wondering should appear but all my friends and family yes everybody's here (chorus). Have a Merry Christmas ya'll, Christmas at my house. Have a RuPaul Christmas, Christmas at my house. Have a homegrown Christmas, Christmas at my house. Have a Happy New Year, Christmas at my house.

I  S A W  D A D D Y  K I S S I N G S A N T A  C L A U S


I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night he didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peak he thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep but I saw daddy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white. What a laugh it would have been if Mama had only seen Daddy kissing Santa Claus last night.

H E R E  C O M E S  S A N T A  C L A U S


Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane. Blitzen and Nixen and all his reindeer pulling on the reins. Bells are ringing children singing all is merry and bright hang your stockings say your prayers cuz Santa Claus comes tonight. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane, he's got a bag that's filled with toys for boys and girls again. Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle oh what a beautiful sight jump in bed and cover your head cuz Santa Claus comes tonight. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane, he doesn't care if you're rich or poor he loves you just the same. Santa Claus goes where there's all God's children that makes everything right so fill you heart with Christmas cheer cuz Santa Claus comes tonight. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus right down Santa Claus Lane, he'll come around when times ring out that it's Christmas morn again. Peace on earth will come to all if we just follow the light so lets give thanks to long above cuz Santa Claus comes tonight.

Y O U ' R E  A  M E A N  O N E M R.  G R I N C H


You're a mean one Mr. Grinch you really are a mean one. You're as cuddly as a cactus you're as charming as an eel Mr. Grinch. Your a monster Mr. Grinch you heart's an empty hole your brain is full of spiders you got garlic in your soul Mr. Grinch. You're a mean one Mr. Grinch you got termites in your smile you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile Mr. Grinch. You're a fouler Mr. Grinch you're a nasty wasty scum your heart is full of unwashed socks your soul is full of gunk Mr. Grinch. Darling three words that describe you are stink, stank, stunk! You're a rotter Mr. Grinch you're a king of (sentiment?) your heart's a dead tomato splashing purple moldy spots oh Mr. Grinch. Let's face it darling you are a mess. You nauseate me Mr. Grinch with a nauseating super naus. You're a crooked jerky jocky you drive up crooked horns Mr. Grinch

H A R D  C A N D Y  C H R I S T M A S


Hey maybe I'll dye my hair maybe I'll move somewhere maybe I'll get a car maybe I'll drive so far they'll all lose track me I'll bounce right back  Maybe I'll sleep real late me maybe I'll lose some weight maybe I'll clear the junk maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine me I'LL BE JUST FINE AND DANDY LORD IT'S LIKE A HARD CANDY CHRISTMAS I'M BARELY GETTING THROUGH TOMORROW BUT STILL I WON'T LET SORROW BRING ME WAY DOWN. Maybe I'll learn to sew me maybe I'll just lay low maybe I'll hit the bars maybe I'll count the stars until the dawn me I will go on. Maybe I'll settle down maybe I'll just leave town maybe I'll have some fun and maybe I'll meet someone and make them mine (chorus)

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