Down in the workshop
all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls
and the good Gentile boys

When the boss busted in,
nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and
cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots
he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk
disgruntled Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said
with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all--
now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now
he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces
of Cupid and Comet

And he tied up his helpers
and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph
into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and Prancer
with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher
just like Freddie Krueger

And he picked up a flamethrower
and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said,
"It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
and helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
and everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the S.W.A.T. team
blew a hole through his head

Yes, little friend now
He has his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy
to kick around anymore

Well now there's no more presents
for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line
to file for unemployment

And they say Mrs. Claus
she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout--the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Wo, something finally must have
snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have
snapped... in his brain

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