1st_CKR

Ray! Fraser, buddy! Did you have a good time up there in the Northwest Areas? Territories, you mean? Wilderness, huh? Exactly. Me, personally, I leave the city, I come down with a skin condition.

BF/RK

30secnap

Don't you ever sleep? Well of course I do, Ray. As a matter of fact, I had a 30 second nap coming down the stairs. It was very refreshing.

BF/RK

bad

Ray, maybe you can help me with this lingo thing--is there by any chance a reference book for it? No reference book, it's the street, like that stuff at the door. Certain words are flipped like bad means good. What if something's bad? That's just bad. Well isn't that confusing? To a Mountie, yeah.

BF/RK

box

Nice place. Well, it was Const. Turnbull's but he decided he didn't need anything quite so fancy. So where is he living now, a cardboard box? Uh huh, a very nice one though.

BF/RK

bugfire

Oh, for God’s sake. I think I’ve provided ample explanation. Ray was otherwise engaged and taxi policy precludes the transportation of wolves. C’mon. Besides from which, we’re almost home. At the end of the alley, turn right, across the street, climb the stairs and we’ll be as snug as bugs…in a fire.

BF

called

Ray! Ray! Ray! Ta da! A vest! You called me Ray. No I didn’t. Yeah, you did. It was a mistake.

BF/RK

ciao

Ciao, it’s Raimondo! Ma! No, ma, I did not forget the lettuce, I’ve got it right here. Do you see a head of lettuce anywhere?

RV

closet

I’m sitting in a dark closet with a Mountie, being licked by a deaf wolf. That was the wolf, wasn’t it? Yes, Ray. Oh thank God.

BF/RV

clubbed

Oh really? Yes. When I was a young scout, working on my ecology badge, I insinuated myself into a hunting party in order to catch a baby seal killer. So what happened? Well I was clubbed repeatedly, Ray.

BF/RV

contend

I’ve still got all the moves. I coulda been, I coulda been, I coulda been… A contender? Yeah, how’d you know? Lucky guess.

RK/FV

curlref

Huh, got the makings of a bonspiel. What’s wrong? I just made a curling reference, I’m going to go lay down.

BF/RK

delusion

It’s hot, is this my final posting? I wasn’t aware you could feel heat. I’m dead, I’m not insensitive. What are you going to do about the Yank? What do you propose I do? Collect forensic evidence to determine he’s not who he says he is. Of course he’s not who he claims to be. Well there are those who are contradictory. You might be delusional. You know you might be delusional. Well that’s another story. Well there you are.

RF/BF

doomah

driving

Well that was good, measuring the Yank. Thank you. For what? For driving the car. You’re thanking me for driving the car?

BF/RF/RK

electric

What are you doing? I don’t know where you come from, but I come from this little place called America where we’ve got this big thing called electricity. Word of advice: your tongue, electricity, not a good mix.

RK

explodes

Whoa! OK, I guess we located the igniter. It would appear so. OK, this is where I get off. No, we cannot do that. Yes, we can, Fraser, our work is done here. Stay in the car! But, Fraser…what are you doing? Do not touch my inner thigh or calf! Take your foot off the brake! I’m trying to stop the car! You cannot stop the car. Not with you holding my leg, I can’t. Ray, it is too dangerous, this is a public thoroughfare. Pedestrians may be at risk. Look, I do not risk my neck for anybody, but the car’s going to blow! No, it is not! It is very, very, very rare that a car ever actually explodes. :::boom:::

BF/RK

figure

See, that’s why we’re policemen, Fraser, we get to figure these kinds of things out. Right you are, Ray, right you are.

BF/RK

florist

‘What’s the catch,’ I say. ‘Oh, your partner is Canadian.’ I got nothin’ against Canadians, ‘cept for the time they won the World Series. Uh, two times. Which I’m willing to overlook. Thank you. But at no time did they say, ‘Oh, by the way, you’ll be working with a Mountie with a wolf that’s a florist.’

BF/RK

gamble

You know, Ray…in my limited experience with the subject I’ve found that very few life-long bonds are formed based on whether one partner or the other urinated in their clothing. And I am willing to gamble—not with money, mind you—but I am willing to gamble that Stella looked beyond that one incident and saw the whole person.

BF

hamster

For what? You killed my hamster. Yeah, 20 years ago. You killed her hamster, Ray? How was I supposed to know they couldn’t swim?  Ray, we’ve got company. Black sedan at six o’clock. OK, pull over and I’ll set the homing device. Oh, it was premeditated murder, just admit it! OK, I admit it, now pull over. I’m over.

RV/Fr/BF

hate_it

Oh yeah, hate it when that happens.

RK

intimate

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doin? What are you doin? He’s on me! Diefenbaker! He’s on me! He’s getting intimate with me! Did you see him, he was getting intimate with me! He’s usually much better behaved, he’s just excited to be out of that quarantine cage. You want to tell him to get off me? Diefenbaker! Oh yeah, he’s very well trained. Well, he is, actually, he’s just deaf. And he’s facing the wrong way, so you just tell him yourself. I’m not real good with dogs. Actually, he’s more of a wolf. Wolf!? Just try to enunciate. Get! Off! Me!

RV/BF

jenesais

Discussing Ray's je ne sais quoi.

BF/RV

juncture

His name is Const. Benton Fraser, he first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father, and for reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture, has remained a lesion… Uh, liaison, Ray. Attached as liaison with the Canadian consulate.

BF/RK

leg_over

You cannot have grandchildren, you are dead. So you keep telling me—with overmuch glee, I might add. Oh for God’s sakes. Oh, c’mon, son, is it going to kill you to give her a leg over? A leg over? Dad, I really don’t have time for this. That’s what I said and look what it got me. Well that’s a different story and there you are.

BF/RF

lint

Look, I gotta go, Fraser's picking lint off me again.

RV

lockload

Let’s lock our load. That’s lock and load. Lock and load, I’m sorry.

BF/RK

mail

How hard can it be delivering mail? (good mail .wav) :)

M

messhead

Let's get him in here, mess with his head.

RK

million

song - from Pilot

monkeys

Give me five, Det. Fraser, you got ink all over my fingers. Terribly sorry. What was that all about? Just a little thing we do. A little thing we do, huh? Yeah, one of those things. We have a lot of fun, don't we, you and I? Oh ho, more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

BF/RK

notsport

Anything that moves that slowly is not a sport. Not a sport? This is not a sport—it’s housework. It is a calling. It may be a pastime, it may even be a hobby, but it is definitely not a sport. Do you want to fight? Over curling? Yes. What if I made fun of baseball? Alright.

RK/RT

ohdear

Oh dear

BF

parasite

Thanks, but I don't think it's going to help. It might. What is it? Parasites. Those were on me? Yes. (screaming)

BF/RV

pay1

You know, you let a wolf save your life, they make you pay, and pay, and pay…

BF

puntds

The punt was purely accidental, sir. As they so often are.

BF

rayphone

Hello, Ray? Hey, Benny, how’s the vacation going? It’s everything a Mountie could ask for, Ray, lots of fresh air, plenty of exercise. How are things in Chicago? Aw, you know, Benny—Chicago’s Chicago. Listen, I’m just calling to let you know that I might not be there at the train to pick you up. That’s no hardship, Ray, I have legs, I can walk. I know you have legs, Benny, that’s not the point—I’m just calling to let you know that you may be on your own for a while. Is something wrong? No, why would anything be wrong? I’m just calling to let you know I’d like to be there to pick you up, but if I can’t be there it’s not because I didn’t want to be, it’s because something came up. You’re sure everything’s alright? Look, Benny, I don’t know if they have a similar thing up there in Canada, but down here in America we have this thing called friendship, and this is something that a friend would do. Like, for example, if one friend called another friend and you’re supposed to meet him at a certain time.

BF/RV

sambrown

Fraser! I’m right here. You smell great. That would be the Neet’s Foot Oil. You wear Neets Foot Oil? On my Sam Brown. My belt. Oh!

BF/FV

shothat

She shot my hat, Ray. She shot you in the hat? I can feel air coming in through the hole. She shot you in the hat, alright. How does it look? It doesn’t look good. Well I have to go home and get my other one. We can do that, Fraser. Thanks, Ray.

BF/RV

sweep

Sweeeeeeep!

BF/RT

switch

We might be too late. I think she’s planning to switch countries. How to become a Canadian in ten easy steps. The consulate. Step one: get a big hat. Step two: lick electrical sockets. Step three…

BF/RK

tyk

Thank you kindly.

BF

understood

Understood.

BF