WARNING!!!
These previews contain vital plot information and other potentially movie-spoiling stuff!
If you don't want to know, read no further!

THE PHANTOM MENACE

Written and directed by George Lucas. Starring Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Jake Lloyd, and a bunch of computer-generated doo-dads.

Is there a more anticipated film this year than STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE? Has there been a more anticipated film ever? Doubtful. The STAR WARS saga instantly embedded itself into our consciousness when the first film was released in 1977, and has only become more deeply ingrained in the 22 years since. (22 years? Crap. I'm old.) Unlike other science fiction series, STAR WARS is a tale that geeks and non-geeks alike can enjoy, as it avoids many of the pratfalls taken by lesser works. By tapping into Jungian mythology, old movies (primarily westerns, World War II dramas and serials), and placing the action in a setting that fires the imagination ('A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...'), George Lucas was smart enough and clever enough to create a story and characters that took us to entirely new places while remaining comfortable and familiar. He was also smart enough to start his reportedly nine-part saga with the middle trilogy, making generations of moviegoers curious as to how all these familiar characters came to be. Well, now with THE PHANTOM MENACE, we're about to find out. Was it worth the 15 year wait?

Yeah, I think it just might have been.

Here's the story... no, wait a sec. There are millions of moviegoers out there who want to see this film fresh, with no idea what happens. Fair enough. So before I get into the plot synopsis let me just tell you that if the script is any indication, this film is gonna be a hell of a lot of fun. For my money it falls (from a storytelling perspective) after THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE, but well above RETURN OF THE JEDI. I know that may sound like faint praise, because JEDI is so notoriously weak, but it's not meant to be. I'd place it neck and neck with STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE, actually. Both films have the burden of beginning a trilogy, which means introducing a whole lot of characters and strange locales, and getting an epic story off the ground. And both do so very effectively. So there. That's my basic reaction. You can stop reading now, and go into the theatre a virgin - which most of those people who've been waiting in line months before the movie opens will undoubtedly be doing.

Liam and Ewan in a submarine thing with Jar Jar Binks, a
computer-generated character who I pray to God is not voiced
by Howie Mandel.

Now for those of you who want to know the plot, here goes:

"Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute." Those are the first words of the inevitable title crawl over a star field which start every STAR WARS film. It states one of the most important bits of information about the film, and also the least important. Most important because it is this political dispute which sets the story in motion... and least important because that's basically all it's there for. There are a lot of politics in this script, and the inner workings of the Galactic Republic and the Federation are dealt with in some depth, but really, that's not what we're here to see. We're here to see good guys fight bad guys in cool space stations and on bizarre planets, and to learn about how the characters we've grown up with (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader, Yoda, etc.) got their starts. While crucial to the storyline, these political battles place a distant second when it comes to physical battles. It's like watching those U.N. briefings about the Kosovo crisis - most people tune in for the gun-sight footage, then turn the channel when they actually begin discussing policy. Luckily, George Lucas is well aware of that, and balances the nuts and bolts of the growing political crisis that drives the story with human drama and rip-snorting action setpieces.

These setpieces begin right away. Two Jedi Knights have been dispatched to one of the Federation battleships positioned above the peace-loving planet of Naboo with the intention of having them negotiate a settlement to this whole 'taxation of trade routes' deal. These knights are QUI-GON JINN (Liam Neeson) and a twenty-five year old OBI-WAN KENOBI (Ewan McGregor). But before any negotiations can take place, Darth Sidious - who by his first name alone is obviously a bad guy - orders the planet of Naboo invaded, and the Jedi killed. Yeah, right. Kill the Jedi. Psht. Who's this guy kidding? What follows is a big ol' fight with lightsabers and battle droids, and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are forced to split up, stowing away on separate ships that will take them down to Naboo so they can warn the Naboonian queen (is that right, 'Naboonian'?) about the impending invasion.

But the invasion's pretty much in full swing by the time they get there, and the two Jedi find themselves forced to hide from the rampaging droid army. They meet up with Jar Jar Binks, a creature from a race called the Gungan, who live under the water in Naboo's vast marshlands. Jar Jar leads the Jedi to an underwater city, only to find that Jar Jar isn't exactly beloved by his fellow Gungans. In fact, the Gungan military apprehend the three and bring them before the Gungan leader. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are allowed to leave by taking a transport through 'the core' to the capital city of Naboo, while Jar Jar is sentenced to death. But Qui-Gon convinces the Gungan leader to release Jar Jar in their custody as their navigator through 'the core'.

Jar Jar... Gungan... Qui-Gon... Naboo... I already have a headache.

Anyway, our three take a pod out of the Gungan city, travelling underwater to Theed, the capital of Naboo. Being underwater on a strange planet means - you guessed it - monsters! Big ones! Big ones that want to eat the pod our heroes are scooting around in. And the monsters eat them, the end. Ha! Just kidding. Of course they get away, and head to Theed.

Meanwhile, in Theed, teenaged Queen Amidala must watch as her peaceful planet is overrun by the invading army. But when pressed to sign a treaty that will legitimize the Federation's occupation of her planet she refuses, and she and her advisors are ordered sent away to a detention camp. But before that can happen our heroic Jedis and bumbling Gungan manage to invade the palace and get Queen Amidala, her advisors and her handmaidens off the planet - all with the help of a familiar little robot with a squeaky voice. Yup - R2-D2 makes his first appearance. Their ship damaged, they decide to limp to a crappy little planet in a nearby star system. Some jerkwater burg called Tatooine.

Unfortunately, Darth Sidious has been informed of the queen's escape, and he decides to send his apprentice, Darth Maul (there's that 'Darth' name again!) to track her down. Darth Maul is the guy in all the ads with the black and red tattoos all over his face and little horns sticking out of his head. That guy. Apparently the Sith Lords have no dress code.

Anywho... the Jedi and their royal cargo end up on Tatooine, where Qui-Gon, Jar Jar, R2-D2 and one of the queen's handmaidens Padme head into Mos Espa to hunt down parts to repair their damaged ship. This is where they meet Watto, who owns a junk shop... and a slave boy named Anakin Skywalker. (Stab of John Williams music.) Anakin is the sweetest, kindest boy on all Tatooine - oh, the irony! - and kinda gets a crush on Padme, the handmaiden. Meanwhile Qui-Gon doesn't have enough money/credits/whatever-the-hell-passes-for-currency to buy the parts needed, and is unable to pull any Jedi mind tricks on Watto, who is a Toydarian. That's all the explanation that's given. He's Toydarian. Deal with it.

Our troupe leaves the junk shop as a sandstorm begins to kick up, and Anakin invites them to take shelter in his home, with he and his mother Shmi. There Anakin shows off the robot he's building. A protocol droid. Yup, you guessed it - C-3PO. They also learn about Pod Racing, which Anakin claims to be very good at. He's also building his own pod racer which he offers to pilot in a big race the following day. The prize money would allow Qui-Gon and the others the money/credits/whatever-the-hell-passes-for-currency they need to buy the parts for their ship. After much debate it's decided that this is the plan.

Qui-Gon also notices that Anakin is no ordinary boy. He's got, well, let's just say the Force is strong with him and leave it at that, okay? It has to do with a blood sample, and a high level of midi-chlorians, and... the Force is strong with him, okay? Stronger than Qui-Gon or anyone has ever seen. There's also the weird moment where Anakin's mother reveals that he was a virgin birth. Oooooh-kay. Not sure what to make of that little piece of information yet. As a result Qui-Gon makes a side bet with Watto - if Anakin wins the race, Watto must release Anakin to the Jedi Knight.

The Pod Racing Sequence is the big setpiece at the mid-point of the film. Lots of action, lots of crashes, lots of suspense, and of course Anakin wins after coming from way back in the pack. So, with the parts in hand to fix the ship, and Anakin now Qui-Gon's responsibility, they're ready to get the hell outta Dodge. Especially since Darth Maul has arrived on the planet and sent probe droids into the city looking for them. Thus the name 'probe droids'. But Anakin's mother is unable to go, as she is still a slave. So Anakin must make a tough, tearful choice to stay on Tatooine with his mom, or go become a Jedi. He stays with his mom, the end. Ha! Kidding again. Anakin goes with Qui-Gon, and they head for the ship, which Obi-Wan and the others have repaired.

But while bringing Anakin to the ship, Qui-Gon is attacked by Darth Maul, and what could be a very cool lightsaber duel ensues. Anakin makes it to the ship while the Jedi and Sith Lord do battle, and tells the others. Obi-Wan pilots the now repaired ship to where the fight is taking place, managing to save Qui-Gon and blast away into space. They head to Coruscant, the planet which serves as the capital of the Republic.

On Coruscant, Queen Amidala engages in political intrigue which I'm not gonna try to describe. Let's just say she screws up and, in an attempt to save the people of Naboo, helps Senator Palpatine (who will one day become Emperor Palpatine, the ultimate baddie of the galaxy) begin his climb to power. While all this is going on, Qui-Gon tries to convince the Jedi Council - which includes Yoda and Mace Windu - to let him train Anakin as a Jedi. The Jedi Masters agree to test Anakin, but seem more worried by the appearance of Darth Maul, a Sith Lord. They thought the Lords of the Sith to be extinct. Whoops. So much for the power of the Force allowing you to sense things, I guess.

The Jedi Council tests Anakin, and find that he is too old to be trained as a Jedi - he already has too much anger in him (another stab of John Williams music). He is the ward of Qui-Gon, who is ordered not to train him. All of this kind of pisses off Obi-Wan, who doesn't share Qui-Gon's feelings about Anakin, and hey, he's Qui-Gon's apprentice, dammit!

Queen Amidala decides that she must go back to Naboo - she will not leave her people to suffer alone. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are to accompany her as protection, so everyone trudges back to Naboo for the final showdown of the film. And here's where the detailed description stops. Suffice it to say that there's lots of cross-cutting as everyone - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Queen Amidala (who isn't who she seems to be... but it's not much of a surprise who she is, even in the script - I can't imagine they'll pull off this 'surprise' in the film), and Jar Jar Binks - have a hand in saving the day. There is a cool-sounding lightsaber battle between Darth Maul (who now wields a cool, two-sided lightsaber) and the Jedi Knights. Some of these characters die, some live, and the new trilogy is launched. (BIG stab of John Williams music!)

For those of you who just can't get enough, here's a
slide show of the original trailer. Go nuts.

It's a very fun script, full of everything STAR WARS fans have come to expect from the series... in a good way. It's got a shitload of action, the political intrigue is actually pretty entertaining, as we all know how this stuff ultimately turns out, and the characters are actually pretty dimensional. I was surprised that Obi-Wan plays as small a part in this film as he does, and that he was allowed some negative feelings to creep in about little Anakin. Maybe even a little jealousy? Is that allowed in the Jedi handbook?

What can I say, if the final film has as much eye-candy as it promises, THE PHANTOM MENACE should get the summer off to a rollicking start. Go stand in line now. Now, do you hear me! Oh, you don't want to stand in line next to the no-lives who've already been camped out for the past month? Well... bribe them with that old Yoda mask you bought when you were 19 and that's been getting crispy and dry in a box all these years. Tell them it's an original mass-produced Yoda mask, and maybe they'll buy an extra ticket for you. Just don't try it with an Ewok mask, or you'll have the unpleasant experience of being mocked, ridiculed and laughed at by people who have enough down time to sit in a movie line for a month.

But! There are some things in the script that worry me. One is the character of Jar Jar Binks, who is obviously our C-3PO surrogate (yes, Threepio appears in the film, but only briefly). He is the comic relief - if R2-D2 and C-3PO were Laurel and Hardy, Jar Jar Binks is Jerry Lewis... which is what worries me. As written, Jar Jar is a bumbling, pratfalling, accident-prone clown whose every reaction is over the top. Add to that the fact that he speaks in Gungan-ese, a weird mixture of gibberish and pidgin English which is shamelessly designed to be 'crowd pleasing'. Here's an example of one of Jar Jar's lines (after he gets zapped by a bolt of energy from a pod racer):

                                        JAR JAR
                        Ouch - dats muy big Oucho.

Ouch is right. He speaks in a combination of baby-talk and teenage slang. It's like when a two year old kid tries to talk to you, and you have no idea what they're trying to say, so you have to look to their parents to translate. Which, for me, gets really old really fast. It's so calculatedly 'cute' that it set my teeth on edge in a few places. But that's in the script. I'm hoping that the actor delivering the lines can pull them off, and I won't have to be sitting next to his parents to find out what he's saying.

I also worry that the script seems to be geared toward kids in quite a few places. STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK were fantasy films aimed at adults, but whose spectacle, action and sense of wonder made them perfect for younger audiences as well. RETURN OF THE JEDI, with those hideous Ewoks as the most glaring example, was a film which was seemingly aimed at a younger audience, and it paid the price by not only being the weakest of the trilogy, but a genuinely bad movie. Now, I don't know if I'm reacting to the fact that one of the main characters in the film is a nine year old boy (who has lines which include the words 'Yippee!' and 'Whoopee!'), or if the film is indeed geared toward those under 13. I suspect it's a little of both. So here's the deal - give me one lightsaber duel as cool as the one at the end of EMPIRE and you can toss in as many 'yippees' as you like. Sounds fair to me.

But you know what? Those are pretty minor complaints. The script is fun, fast, action-packed, and most importantly answers some questions about all the characters we've grown so familiar with, while raising many more. In other words, it accomplishes what STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE did 22 years ago - it makes us care enough to want to see the rest of the story. And it does it without sacrificing the integrity of the series. Maybe this is the film that should've been called 'A New Hope', because after the poor quality of JEDI, this film will re-establish the series as the ultimate in exciting, breathtaking, imaginative fantasy that the movies can supply, but so rarely do.

MY PROGNOSIS? This is going to be the biggest flop in movie history. Lucas will lose so much money that he'll be forced to sell off Industrial Light and Magic, as well as the sequel rights to all his other films... with the exception of HOWARD THE DUCK, leaving him no option other than to continue the STAR WARS saga as a thinly-veiled HOWARD sequel, with the big talking duck in the role of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It's gonna be huge. George Lucas will become even more phenomenally wealthy. Geeks the world over will have debating material for decades to come. And somewhere, some idiot will actually tattoo his face like Darth Maul, not quite grasping the concept that a 60 year old, jowly Darth Maul in a cardigan isn't really gonna look that cool.

Hey! Looky Here!

Wanna buy the script to STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE? Sure you do! The published screenplay contains the entire script, plus production illustrations as well as storyboards for some of the action sequences! So just CLICK on the icon below and you'll be whisked to an online bookstore in a galaxy far, far away... or, well, wherever Amazon.com is located. I'm guessing an industrial area somewhere. But maybe an industrial area in a galaxy far, far away! Cool!

ROLLING STONE (Peter Travers): "The actors are wallpaper, the jokes are juvenile, there's no romance, and the dialog lands with the thud of a computer-instruction manual. But it's useless to criticize the visual astonishment that is STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE. With this epic and the trilogy that preceded it, George Lucas has built a pop-culture monument that packs all of history - war, religion, myth, art, science and those old reliables, good and evil - into a mystical grab bag that plays like a kiddie cartoon. There's a less fancy explanation for why PHANTOM MENACE will inspire fetishistic worship: It's loaded with cool stuff... PHANTOM MENACE, which cost $115 million, lacks the crude freshness that Lucas lavished on the low-budget ($10 million) original in 1977 and the fluid storytelling that director Irvin Kershner brought to THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK in 1980 - still the best in the series. But MENACE is light-years ahead of the uneasy mix of furry Ewoks and Freudian psychology in Richard Marquand's 1983 RETURN OF THE JEDI... (Lucas) has always been more articulate with images than with words. Harrison Ford, who played Han Solo in the original, has famously chided Lucas, "You can type this shit, George, but you sure can't say it." McGregor is saddled with lines like, "I have a bad feeling about this." And Neeson must answer, "Be mindful of the living Force, my young Padawan." Ouch! Is it a coincidence that PHANTOM MENACE and James Cameron's TITANIC - whose box-office record ($1.8 billion worldwide) Lucas is chasing - were made by men with a poet's eyes and tin ears? Comic relief - and, boy, does this movie need it - arrives with scene-stealer Jar Jar Binks, a gangly, floppy-eared Gungan, voiced hilariously by Ahmed Best but otherwise a fully digital creation. Jar Jar is an alien amphibian who lives in an underwater city and speaks in a pidgin English that still gets the point across... Your reaction to PHANTOM MENACE will depend on what level you're watching it on, just like playing a video game. Beginners will log on, enjoy the surface thrills and shut down. Intermediates will play again to see what they missed. Experts will study plot details like they're cosmic tea leaves. In short, Lucas has changed the way we look at movies by making multiple viewings a part of the game. No wonder he's cashing in. This is not to doubt Lucas' sincerity in building a dream world - even a digital heart wants what it wants. Me, I'll take THE GODFATHER when it comes to film franchises, but it's Lucas - still pushing the creative envelope at the dawn of the new millennium - who knows how to make audiences an offer they can't refuse."

NEWSWEEK (David Ansen): "It's not hype to say that PHANTOM MENACE is the most eagerly awaited movie ever made... The movie is a disappointment. A big one. Will you take my word for it? Of course not. This massively marketed movie is virtually critic-proof. Everyone feels he must find out for himself... The oddest thing about EPISODE I - which takes us back to the childhood of Anakin Skywalker, who as we know will later become Darth Vader, father of Luke Skywalker - is that it's a tale that didn't need to be told. Or that should have been told in 20 minutes, so that we could get on to the good stuff. What we want to know is how Anakin Skywalker, Jedi knight, turned to the Dark Side. You won't find that out in PHANTOM MENACE. There's no shortage of action in PHANTOM MENACE - lightsaber fights, attacking armies, exploding spacecraft - but there's a curious lack of urgency. Our emotions are rarely engaged... The arc of Anakin's story - a boy leaving home to become a Jedi and a hero, saving the day in battle - recapitulates Luke's story in STAR WARS. You can understand why Lucas would want to carbon-copy his golden oldies - why tamper with the most successful formula in movie history? But you can't go home again. Lucas's sensibility, which was never particularly sophisticated to begin with, hasn't evolved in two decades. THE PHANTOM MENACE is more of the same, without the innocence and without the juice... The interesting question is whether any of this will matter. Is the hunger for STAR WARS so insatiable that the audience won't notice that this epochal event is actually a little... dull? If THE PHANTOM MENACE surpasses TITANIC as the most successful movie of all time, it may stand as the ultimate example of cultural auto-intoxication."

LA TIMES (Hey, here's Kenneth Turan now!): "Over the 20-plus years since its release, George Lucas' STAR WARS has influenced so many lives that the writer-director's friend Francis Ford Coppola suggested, more or less seriously, that he turn his philosophy into an organized religion. Whatever its virtues, and it certainly has them, STAR WARS: EPISODE I THE PHANTOM MENACE is not going to change anyone's life or method of worship. It's only a movie, and, like the unmasked Wizard at the end of Oz's Yellow Brick Road, a much less impressive one than all the accompanying genuflection would have you believe... But even without the pre-release hoopla, THE PHANTOM MENACE would be a considerable letdown, as Lucas and company either misjudged or did not care to re-create key aspects of what made STAR WARS a phenomenon. While the new film is certainly serviceable, it's noticeably lacking in warmth and humor, and though its visual strengths are real and considerable, from a dramatic point of view it's ponderous and plodding... Part of the reason for this lack of wit is that PHANTOM MENACE is intentionally skewed quite young. One of its key protagonists, as anyone who cares knows by now, is 9-year-old Anakin Skywalker, the future Darth Vader, and many of the film's characters and situations are set up to please tender minds. "We're doing it for the wide-eyed 13 year-old," one of the film's key technicians told Premiere magazine, not necessarily a pleasant thought for the rest of us... Despite its many shortcomings, THE PHANTOM MENACE is certainly adequate, and given the story's strong core idea and the residual power lurking in the Force, it's not necessary to dismiss it out of hand. It's just that the tale it tells isn't all that interesting; in fact, if Lucas wasn't partial to the idea of trilogies, PHANTOM could have been condensed down to a brief prologue tacked on the beginning of the next installment. To put the best possible face on things, maybe the Force's creator, like a canny strikeout artist, was willing to waste his first pitch before dazzling us with his best stuff next time around."

VARIETY (Todd McCarthy): "As the most widely anticipated and heavily hyped film of modern times, STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE can scarcely help being a letdown on some levels, but it's too bad that it disappoints on so many. At heart a fanciful and fun movie for young boys, the first installment of George Lucas' three-part prequel to the original STAR WARS trilogy is always visually diverting thanks to the technical wizardry with which it creates so many imaginative creatures, spaceships and alien worlds. But it is neither captivating nor transporting, for it lacks any emotional pull, as well as the sense of wonder and awe that marks the best works of sci-fi/fantasy... (I)f it weren't for the connections many will make to the story's known future - that Anakin will eventually marry Queen Amidala and sire Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, only then to transform into Darth Vader - there is little here on the writing or performance sides to draw one close to these characters... But while the film hardly lacks for visual creativity, it lacks resonance, freshness, and a sense of wonder. In a way, it suffers from there having been so many knock-offs and sci-fi imitators in the intervening years; no matter what Lucas did, it probably would have been impossible for PHANTOM to have the impact of its STAR WARS predecessors in terms of its sense of discovery and originality... PHANTOM is easily consumable eye candy, but it contains no nutrients for the heart or mind."

ROGER EBERT: "If it were the first STAR WARS movie, THE PHANTOM MENACE would be hailed as a visionary breakthrough. But this is the fourth movie of the famous series, and we think we know the territory; many of the early reviews have been blase, paying lip service to the visuals and wondering why the characters aren't better developed. How quickly do we grow accustomed to wonders. I am reminded of the Isaac Asimov story NIGHTFALL, about the planet where the stars were visible only once in a thousand years. So awesome was the sight that it drove men mad. We who can see the stars every night glance up casually at the cosmos and then quickly down again, searching for a Dairy Queen... STAR WARS: EPISODE I - THE PHANTOM MENACE, to cite its full title, is an astonishing achievement in imaginative filmmaking. If some of the characters are less than compelling, perhaps that's inevitable: This is the first story in the chronology and has to set up characters who (we already know) will become more interesting with the passage of time... Set against awesome backdrops, the characters in THE PHANTOM MENACE inhabit a plot that is little more complex than the stories I grew up on in science-fiction magazines. The whole series sometimes feels like a cover from Thrilling Wonder Stories, come to life. The dialogue is pretty flat and straightforward, although seasoned with a little quasi-classical formality, as if the characters had read but not retained JULIUS CAESAR. I wish the STAR WARS characters spoke with more elegance and wit (as Gore Vidal's Greeks and Romans do), but dialogue isn't the point, anyway: These movies are about new things to look at... What (Lucas) does have, in abundance, is exhilaration. There is a sense of discovery in scene after scene of THE PHANTOM MENACE, as he tries out new effects and ideas, and seamlessly integrates real characters and digital ones, real landscapes and imaginary places. We are standing at the threshold of a new age of epic cinema, I think, in which digital techniques mean that budgets will no longer limit the scope of scenes; filmmakers will be able to show us just about anything they can imagine. As surely as Anakin Skywalker points the way into the future of STAR WARS, so does THE PHANTOM MENACE raise the curtain on this new freedom for filmmakers. And it's a lot of fun. The film has correctly been given the PG rating; it's suitable for younger viewers and doesn't depend on violence for its effects. As for the bad rap about the characters - hey, I've seen space operas that put their emphasis on human personalities and relationships. They're called STAR TREK movies. Give me transparent underwater cities and vast hollow senatorial spheres any day."

Despite unflattering reviews (which, if you look back to 1977, are exactly like the reviews garnered for the first STAR WARS - lousy writing, bad acting, shallow mysticism, etc.), THE PHANTOM MENACE brought in $28 million in it's first day. And it hasn't stopped yet. As of this writing the film has grossed $255 million in 19 days. This makes it the fastest film to surpass the $250 million mark, breaking TITANIC's record by more than two weeks. Gee, I guess they were right - the film is critic proof. Nyeah nyeah na na na!

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