Well, 'previews' actually. I'm not going to use this page to unfairly lambaste any fellow writer's efforts... well, not too often, I hope. Anyway, that's not my intention starting out. Rather I thought I'd preview some of the films soon to be in your local thousand-plexes and let you know how these babies look at conception. Then you can go see the films when they come out and tell me why my prediction of box office failure or triumph was embarrassingly inaccurate.
By the way, as with everything else on this site, I'm just spouting my opinions. And that's all they are - opinions. I'm not trying to tell you that any of these movies are 'bad' or 'good', because I haven't SEEN them yet. This page is simply for film buffs who want an early glimpse at upcoming movies. So don't base your decision whether or not to see any of these films on what I say.
Because sometimes I can be pretty, you know, full of shit.
SPOILER ALERT!!!
These previews contain vital
plot information and other potentially movie-spoiling stuff!
If you don't want to know, read no further!
THE GREEN MILE
Frank Darabont and Stephen
King go back to prison.
SLEEPY HOLLOW
Another bright and cheery tale from the
positive, upbeat mind
of Tim Burton.
DOGMA
Kevin Smith's unique perspectives on
religion.
COMING SOON:
More previews, including
James Cameron's SPIDERMAN...
Sam Hamm's MONKEYBONE...
I AM LEGEND... and THE BEACH.
THESE FILMS HAVE BEEN RELEASED ALREADY - WAS I RIGHT?
Were my predictions accurate? Was the script better or worse than the final product? Having missed it in the theatres, should you catch it on video? Why is the sky blue? Should you salt escargot? Who would win in a fight, Jesus or Superman?
STARWARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM
MENACE
Also known as "George Lucas'
License to Print Money".
AUSTIN POWERS 2: THE SPY WHO
SHAGGED ME
The world's hairiest spy returns!
A tough, gritty World War II combat drama...
starring Tom Hanks?
LETHAL WEAPON 4
More slap-happy shoot-em-up hi-jinx from
LA's most irresponsible cops.
THE TRUMAN SHOW
How in the hell did this script
sell?
TITANIC
Will it float, or will it break
in two and sink like a stone?
THE BIG LEBOWSKI
The Coen brothers do for bowling
what they
did for baby-napping.
SCREAM 2
Well? DO sequels suck?
JACKIE BROWN
Meet the new Tarantino... same
as the old Tarantino.
ARMAGEDDON
A big rock does or does not smack into
Earth.
Why does this sound so familiar?
BATMAN AND ROBIN
The dynamic duo becomes the
tiresome trio.
CONTACT
Not what you expect... but is it
what you want?
U-TURN
The review that pissed off
Oliver Stone!
ALIEN: RESURRECTION
If I was an Alien I'd be cranky,
too.
AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM
It's Ezsterhas trying a comedy.
Need I say more?
Rub Demi all over to return to the Table of
Contents!
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