A Love Beyond Compare by Sandra Bondelier

Chapter 12
The Battlelines are Drawn

Roman was glad to have the kids and softball practice to focus on at the moment, otherwise all he could think of was the situation that was unexpectedly thrust upon him with the two women in his life. Two women who loved him very much, two women whom he loved.. very much. There was no solution in sight and the more he thought about it the more it made his head spin to think about how quickly his life had changed. Literally from one minute to the next during the previous evening everything of which he was sure was made uncertain, and he was well on his way to becoming terminally confused and torn between the two women.

Marlena was his past, his love for her put away in a special saving place, forever. She had literally given a life to him when he was mostly a blank slate; he had been given caring parents and siblings, a warm and loving home filled with three beautiful children, and a job he seemed born to do. She was essentially his whole world and then in the blink of an eye she was taken from him and he felt so alone and afraid, still so unsure of himself, but by some miracle he survived it and went on to find new love with Isabella. He loved her deeply and she was going to be his future. It took him a long time, but he had given his heart away to her and he didn't know how to get it back, or even if that was what he wanted. However, he realized that he couldn't deny how happy it made him that Marlena was alive and would now be a part of his life or that he was beginning to feel something for her again.. so quickly. Just admitting the fact of loving both of them made him feel as though he was betraying each of them and it left him emotionally drained and overwhelmed every time his mind told him that he eventually had to choose between them. Roman sighed with emotional exhaustion as he glanced over toward the bleachers where they were standing, trying not to make it appear as though they were looking each other over and laying down the challenge in between staring out at him. It made him feel very uncomfortable to acknowledge that was what was happening between them, so he looked away swiftly each time he made eye contact with either one of them.

Therefore, he tried to focus on teaching the kids the fundamentals of the game, throwing, catching, hitting, running the bases, backing each other up of a bad throw or a missed catch. He loved teaching his own kids and the others too, they were all so eager to learn and they loved the game like he did. It was one of his passions and he generally put all of himself into the role of coaching them and gave his full attention to their practices and games.

This day was different from the rest, as he found his mind wandering every few minutes or so. His muddled thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an exasperated young voice, jarring him back to the task at hand, "Dad... Dad! Come on, throw the ball," said Eric, wondering where his Dad's mind was at the moment. He always taught the kids to stay focused, to keep their heads in the game at all times. "Didn't you teach me to keep my head in the game all the time?"

Roman smiled weakly, "Oh... yea..I did, sorry. I was...just thinking." Still not completely focused, he pitched the ball and Eric got good wood on it which sent the ball careening straight toward Roman's head. He saw it at the last possible second and it grazed the corner of his right eye, making a slight gash as he went down to avoid being smacked full in the face.

In seconds there were a dozen kids around him and Marlena and Isabella as well. When they reached his side, he was holding his head which was spinning for completely different reasons now, and trying to sit up. He was totally embarassed to get knocked down by a seven year old's line drive and when Marlena and Isabella took turns fussing over the cut near his eye, he popped off at them in frustration. He waved them off and stood up. "Stop it would you, it's nothing! Go..on, go back and sit down, I'm fine now!" he yelled, as he wiped the blood away with the back of his hand. The children and the smattering of other parents were surprised at his outburst and there was dead silence among them. Roman Brady was known as the coach with the most even temper, he never yelled at the kids when they made a mistake. He led by example and his teams always had the best manners and a winning attitude, whether they won or lost a game.

The second the frustrated words left his mouth he was filled with remorse. He knew that he scared and embarassed his kids and hurt Marlena and Isabella, who were just trying to help him. Blowing out a long breath, he apologized, "I'm sorry kids, I'm really sorry I yelled everyone, it's a...strange day. Please forgive me.."

Sami didn't really understand what was happening and why her father was so upset, but she knew he needed a hug. "We forgive you, Daddy. I love you," she said in a sweet comforting voice he loved so much as she squeezed him tight.

Roman sighed and melted into her enthusiastic embrace, then said, "Thank you... squirt...I needed that. I love you too. Now... let's get back to practice, we've got a big game coming up soon." The group broke up, the kids immediately dismissing the incident, the other parents, still wondering what had prompted Roman to lose his cool.

Before he could get himself ready to pitch again, someone tapped him on the back; it was Isabella and she had a towel in her hand. Holding it out to him, she said, "Roman...I'm sorry...for how..difficult this is for you. Maybe I should go, so you can focus on the kids, instead of me and...Marlena."

Instinctively, he reached for her arm to ensure she didn't leave, saying, "No...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you like that and I don't want you to go, Izzy B. We've been coaching the kids together all season. You belong here as much as I do. Please, stay," he asked.

She sighed with her own frustration, but agreed, "Okay...if that's what you want. Just.. do me one favor, Roman." Touching him briefly on the cheek, she finished with, "Please duck a little sooner next time, you scared me half to death just now."

Chuckling, he nodded and said, "It's a deal...coach." Then he used the towel she had given him to dab at the blood again and added, "Thanks for bringing this, these little cuts seem to keep bleeding forever."

"No, problem....I'll just go over and help the kids with the batting order and base running...allright?"

Roman smiled fondly at her, it was so enjoyable to have someone who shared his love for the game and was knowledgeable about it. Not comfortable showing much affection in front of Marlena, he simply gazed into her eyes and gently squeezed her hand to show her his love and said, "Sounds good, Izzy." That was one of the things he loved about her, she really took an interest in the things he loved and she tried to learn about them.

Marlena sat on the bleachers several yards away watching them and she couldn't deny the depth of the love she saw in that simple exchange. Roman truly loved Isabella and his love for her was fresh and new; she wondered how she was going to compete with that newness. The courtship and engagement period of a solid and passionate relationship was fun and exciting and nearly all-encompassing. How could a love that was from his past hold a candle to that intensity? 'Oh, Roman... I love you so much and we were like that too, do you remember? I know you do...I know you do! Maybe, I just need to find some ways to remind you.'

As the practice continued she found herself becoming increasingly concerned about her potential to win Roman's heart; he and Isabella worked very well together and the twins obviously adored her. Marlena hated to admit it to herself, but the four of them looked like a family. Though it wasn't anyone's fault, she found herself resenting that reality. It was her family and she desperately wanted it back. She silently vowed to do anything within reason to reclaim the three people she loved most in all the world.

As she sat watching the four of them laughing about something that Roman said, Marlena spoke internally of her intentions, as if the woman was sitting in front of her, "I'm sorry that you are going to be hurt Isabella, I really am; you didn't do anything wrong and I am grateful that you were here for them while I was gone. But I'm back now and Roman and the twins are mine. Roman is still my husband and the twins are my flesh and blood and we WILL be a family again...soon, very soon."

Lost in thought, she didn't hear the sounds of people approaching and it took a nudge on the arm to capture her attention, then a familiar voice followed. "Marlena...did you hear me?" Roman asked, wondering where her attention was wandering, recognizing the expression from his own similar experiences for the day.

She startled and her response was slow in coming, "Uh...no, I'm sorry, Roman, I was just..."

Marlena was interupted but the next word was exactly the one she had planned to use. "Thinking... yea..there's alot of that going around these days," Roman said with a sweet teasing smile on his face.

She smiled in return and said, "Yes, I hear it's quite contagious actually, and sometimes the more of it you do, the more complicated everything seems to get. It's very strange, isn't it?" she asked.

He nodded and agreed, "Yes.. it is, Doc." Not wanting to go any further in that direction at the moment, he changed the subject. Gesturing to Isabella and the twins, he said, "The kids want us all to go to the Hot Dog Shack for lunch...what do you think, Marlena?"

Knowing that this was going to happen periodically while everyone made the transition, she sighed quietly, then put on a pleasant smile and said with slightly subdued enthusiasm, "Sure, Roman I'd like that, let's go." Roman took her hand and pulled her to a standing position and then the three of them stood there as an awkward silence enveloped them...again.

This time, the kids took the cue and ended it quite nicely, "Well, what are we waiting for?" said Eric, pulling on his father's hand.

"Yea.... I'm starving!" agreed Sami."I could eat three hot dogs with everything!"

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Marlena, coming out of her funk. "Can you really eat three hot dogs, Sami?" she asked incredulously, realizing that her babies were far from just that. "I believe I'd like to see that."

"I can eat at least that much!" said Eric, wanting to get in on the attention Sami was receiving from their mother. Everything was so exciting for the kids, it was like having two mothers. Roman watched as the kids took their mother's hands and walked off toward the car together, wishing there was some miracle that would make it possible for him to love both women, but at the same time realizing that was all it was...wishful thinking. The kids could love them both, but he had to choose.

This time it was Isabella who stood quietly watching the scene unfold, knowing that she had to step back and let Marlena reclaim her children, that was the right thing to do. But, Roman was a totally different story. He was a grown man who knew his own mind and he had a choice to make. Isabella wasn't going to allow Marlena to just come in and take him away from her. No... she wasn't about to make it so easy where he was concerned. Isabella loved him with all of her heart and she was bound and determined to fight for him, just as she could see in the other woman's eyes that Marlena was prepared to do. It was clear from the challenging looks that had passed between them this very morning that there was going to be a battle between the two women to win the heart of one Roman Augustus Brady and it wasn't going to be pretty.