Promises Made ch 11 (part one)

Where Dreams and Reality Merge

Brady's father had fallen into a deep sleep, possibly a coma, the jury was still out on that one. The little boy was holding John's hand and asked Marlena hopefully, "When my Daddy wakes up, can we be a family like you said before. My Daddy made a promise that we would get married and he always keeps his promises."

It was so difficult to explain what had happened and to keep her emotions under control, there had been so much pressure on her and she broke down in tears. "Oh, Brady....yes he does. Your Daddy always keeps his promises and he loves us all very much. I made him a promise too and I am going to keep it. As soon as your Daddy wakes up, I'm going to give him a great big kiss and then we'll be a family as soon as he is well."

"Oh, goody that's my most favorite dream I ever had, for me and Belle and you and Daddy to live in the same house and be a real family!" the little boy said with enthusiasm.

Wrapping him up in her arms, Marlena said softly, "Oh...Brady, that's my dream too, sweety, it's my dream too."

An hour or so later, Shawn and Caroline had taken Belle and Brady back to the Pub with them for breakfast and Marlena was sleeping at John's bedside, holding his hand and wiping his fevered brow, willing the disease to run its course as it responded to the antiparasitic drugs. "Come on, John...Mike said you should be getting better, come on honey...it's Christmas and the kids are waiting for you. They want to give you their presents. Please John...wake up..again, we all need you so much, we're free now, John, remember?" Suddenly, there were monitors beeping, she looked up and the heart monitor was a flatline. "Oh my God, No! John, don't go, please don't leave me!"

Marlena sat straight up in bed to the shrill sound of an alarm clock going off. She was breathing hard, her heart pounding, she glanced over at the clock, it read 5:30Am. She had forgotten to reset her alarm for a later time since it was Christmas Day. The dream had been so real that the fear lingered long after it ended and she said, still breathing hard, "Oh.... what a nightmare.... Oh, John...whew.. you're not really sick, we didn't need to pray for a miracle to save you... but then...that means Roman hasn't given us his blessing either." Opening the drawer of her bedside table, she pulled out a picture of the man who held her heart, "Oh, John... I'm so glad it was just a nightmare, that you're okay and I could see you last night...it was so....wonderful making love with you again...I miss you already, my love."

Her cell phone rang and she froze.... what if... She jumped out of bed and snatched it swiftly from her purse. "Hello?" She asked fearfully.

"Merry Christmas...lover.. Do you miss me?"

She was shaking and her voice trembled with emotion, "Oh... John.. I do miss you, I wish you were here, I wish you could hold me right now!"

He was alarmed by the sound of her voice, "Doc...what is it, why are you so upset?"

Despite her efforts to control her emotions, she started to cry as she told him about her dream, "John... I just don't want to be apart anymore... Oh, I just dreamed.... that you almost died, that you...got some parasitic disease from the trip to the jungle. You were so sick... Brady called me and said you had collapsed.. and he couldn't wake you and then...you seemed to be getting better. All of a sudden your heart stopped and I thought you were going to die...it was so real, John!"

"Oh, baby...it was just a dream, I'm fine...really. except that my heart aches for you and my body...well it aches to make love to you over and over..and over." Noticing that his distraction technique was failing, he said, "Seriously, Marlena, do you want me to come over there now?"

"No..it's okay," she sobbed, "but I do need to see you...today and I want to tell Roman everything... I can't live like this anymore and you deserve better than to be staying with Brady in some hotel until I think Roman is ready to hear the truth. I think that dream was my wake up call. I remember I was sitting by your side, begging you to wake up, to come back to me and what you said on the pier that night after Jennifer's interview came to me. Do you remember that, John?"

He was quiet for one moment before answering softly, "Like it was yesterday, Doc. I'll never forget anything about that night. I said that her death taught me how fragile life is, how something you love so dearly can be taken away so quickly.."

Marlena jumped in to finish it, "Yes, and you also told me that if you feel something, you have to say it while you still have time. Well, I want to say it to you and to everyone else, loud and clear. I love you, John Black! I love you with all my...heart and I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to walk proudly down the aisle in St. Lukes and declare my love and commitment to you for the rest of our lives in front of God and all our friends and family. I want to be your wife, your very best friend, and your lover from now until eternity." Still tearful, she shared her conclusion, "That's what that horrible dream did for me, was remind me that I shouldn't waste any more of our precious time. I don't want to us to wait any more, John."

John was slightly stunned, but more than pleased to hear her speak so firmly of her plans and her desire to marry him. It was his turn to express his emotions about the situation and their love, "Oh, Marlena... I have dreamed of this moment, of.. hearing you talk like this about me, about our love and our future together. Until you came to see me last night... I was beginning to think.....that maybe...your feelings were changing and you just..didn't want to tell me. I thought...maybe you were falling for him again and I was so...scared I was gonna lose you. I love you so much and I can't wait to see you walk down that aisle to me!"

She was much calmer now and sought to reassure him, "John...I love you and I'm not going to hold back or pretend any longer. I'm going to talk to Roman..today, I'm going to confirm everything you told him. Can you tell me exactly what happened between you?"

John was hesistant to tell her the truth about the Roman Brady he saw; the man wasn't the gentle, sweet, forgiving, totally honest person he made himself out to be when he was with Marlena. He had been caustically angry and bitterly jealous, vindictive in his attitude toward John and John still believed Roman had faked his symptoms later that same night to gain Marlena's sympathy and postpone her "talk" with him. How could John ruin that image Marlena had of a man she once loved deeply, or avoid getting into another fight with her about it. Finally, he replied, "Doc... it wasn't a very...nice conversation.... we..uh.. both said some things that... well, that you really wouldn't like to hear."

"John... I understand that you were both... upset that night, but I at least need to know exactly what you told him about us and how it happened so I can be consistent and make sure there is no room for misunderstanding."

"Okay...if you're sure about this.." He paused long enough to give her the chance to say something, then began to explain when she didn't. "It started out when I was down on the pier...thinking about you..about us and wondering what was going to happen between us. I guess I must have said something out loud about what I was thinking and Roman heard it. He started putting things together, the tension between me and Kristen, the necklace I gave you.. and he confronted me about everybody lying to him, covering things up. So, I told him the truth about us. I told him that we were in love, that we were about to be married when Kristen brought him back. He knows that she did it to stop the wedding. I explained that we went along with her lies because he was so sick, to protect him. That's basically it, Doc."

"John.. I'm sure he was hurt and angry, but can you tell me how he reacted, what he said? I need to know, so I can help him understand what has happened."

"Oh... Doc..I'm not so sure this is a good idea...especially over the phone." John was worried that if he told her exactly what was said, she wouldn't believe him and they would argue. If that happened, he wanted it to be in person, when he could see her facial expression and look into her eyes.

"John...don't worry, I can handle it and I won't doubt you, please it's very important."

He sighed...with concern and hesitantly told her, "He was so...angry, Doc. I could tell that he wanted to hit me so bad, he kept baiting me, trying to get me to lose my temper with him. The more I tried to help him understand, the angrier he got. He said he was going to fight for you, that you... chose him before...after the affair and that it might happen again. Then, later on at the Penthouse he basically said that he wanted to take you away from me, that he wanted me to feel what he felt when the affair was revealed. He says I stole you away from him and he plans on repaying the favor. Doc....he...uh... went after me about all the years apart and....the other women I was with. Roman thinks that....if I really loved you... I wouldn't have been with anyone else, I wouldn't have... married someone else. He said that if I loved you as much as I say I do then I should have fought harder for you when he first came back. He said you are the only woman he has been with since he met you. I think he..planned on trying to make you doubt the strength of my love for you by bringing up my...other relationships." John breathed a sigh of relief, at least it was out there.

"Oh...boy...that's a lot to take in, John. I knew he would be angry, but that sounds...so...different from the way he's been acting since he came back. He's been so sweet and so...forgiving of us, so understanding about everything. But, what you're describing sounds like the Roman who left here, the one who forced the divorce on me because he was hurt and so angry and..jealous. Oh, John...how am I going to make him understand?"

"I don't know, Doc.. do you want me to be there with you when you talk to him?"

"No..that would only make it worse for him, this is something I have to do alone, but I appreciate the offer."

There was a long pause and John had to ask about what she hadn't commented on. Sounding suddenly very vulnerable and frightened of losing her, he asked, "Doc... what about the rest of it? Do you..have doubts about my love...because of my..marriage to Isabella and my relationship with Kristen or...the other women I.. dated when we were apart. I would.... understand if you did and I would really ...like to have a chance to talk about it with you sometime...if you want."

He was being so wonderful and sensitive and she thought maybe they should talk about it sometime, to completely clear the air, but not over the phone, so she said, "Oh John... no, honey I don't have any doubts about your love. You were just doing what you had to do to try to let me go, to get over your love for me and move on with your own life when you thought you couldn't have me in your life. I understand all that and I'm not resentful or insecure in your love."

He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and said, "Oh...good, I was....a little worried there for a minute. I do love you...more than anything or anyone in my life. I love you more than my life, you are my life and even when I was with someone else...it was you, Doc!" He was speaking so passionately that she wanted to hold him and couldn't wait to be with him again, "It was always you I truly loved with all my heart. I really thought you didn't love me that way anymore and I was trying to convince myself I could live without you, but I was wrong, Marlena.. I love you and I need you so much!"

He touched her in ways she couldn't describe, "Oh, John...I believe you and I love you the same way. Please don't ever forget that I love you with all of my heart and I need you too, John. You are everything I have longed for, everything I have dreamed about for a very long time. I want us to be married as soon as possible after I talk to Roman."

John sighed again, with a sense of peace about their relationship and then smiled joyfully and asked one last question, "How about a New Year's Eve wedding?"

She was filled with anticipation and she remembered the dream... "John...that's what you asked me in my dream and I said yes... Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to open presents with Roman and the kids and then... I'm going to talk to him. By this afternoon, you and I will be together and able to share our love openly and honestly. I'd like to have our own Christmas with Belle and Brady after their naps, is that allright with you?"

"Oh, you know it is, Doc! I can't wait to see you. Listen, you call me if you need me for anything... anything at all. And..if he... scares you...in any way, you call me and I'll be there in a flash!" John said strongly.

She chuckled at the thought of him in a red body suit, a bolt of lightning down the side, "That's my superhero.... Don't worry, John I can handle this. Roman would never hurt me, I know that without a doubt."

"Okay.. Doc... but I'll have my cell phone with me all day long, just in case." In his mind, John was reviewing his argument with the man and he briefly imagined what might happen if oman turned his fury toward Marlena. John shuddered as he said to himself after she hung up, "I hope you're right, Doc... I sure hope you're right."