Love Is Not Enough
Part 2
As Cassy departed, a hospital aid entered the room bringing Tom's lunch. She sat the food on the stand and left. As soon as Erin was certain she was gone, she pushed the door closed to a crack. She then turned to Tom and slid a hand beneath the sheet, caressing his thigh. "Gee, I thought I was the one who was allowed to be rough on you. How come Cassy gets all the fun jobs?"
Tom squirmed as the caress turned to a tickle. "Stop it," he pleaded, as the urge to laugh pressed against his sore ribs. He tried to fight her off playfully with his one free hand, but was ineffective against her two. Her hands roamed to more sensitive areas and Tom closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation.
Erin grinned broadly and whispered in his ear, "I know now why Cassy wanted the rough stuff…this is kinda fun."
Tom finally grasped the offending hands within in his one and brought them to his lips. Erin reached out with her fingers to touch his cheek. He released her as she leaned forward to give him a long, lingering kiss. Her free hands now roamed through his hair and settled carefully around his neck. When they parted, she was breathless. "Never mind, I'll let Cassy have the rough stuff, I think I like this part better."
Tom grinned, "Hey wait a sec…don't I have a say in this?"
Tom carefully slid himself over to the right side of the bed and pulled Erin against his left side. His left arm settled around her shoulders as he pulled her close. She nuzzled her head in his neck and held him. "I've missed you," she said quietly.
"Me too." He kissed her on top of the head, smelling the floral scent of her shampoo. "I can't wait to get out of here and be with you again," Tom whispered back.
"You're with me now," she pointed out.
"Yeah, but the hospital tends to frown on extra-curricular activities taking place during recovery."
She giggled, then she was silent. For a long while, neither spoke, and instead chose to enjoy the closeness. After a few minutes, Tom couldn't stand the silence any longer. "Whatcha thinking about?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yeah…and about how scared I was when I thought that I had lost you." She was silent again. Then she turned her face so that she could look into Tom's eyes. "When Cassy called me to tell me you had been shot, I thought…" she stopped, as if suddenly embarrassed to say anymore.
Tom didn't know whether to urge her on or not. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear what his actions had done to her, but she continued without his prompting, "I thought that you were going to die. And at that moment, my world fell apart." She looked away. Her hands reached for his left hand and held onto it tightly. "I've never been so scared in my life. Nothing else mattered; not my job, not the students," a nervous laugh crossed her lips, "not even my cat." Her voice became so quiet that Tom could barely hear her, "I even bargained with God; told him that I'd give up everything if he gave you back to me." Tom couldn't fight the lump growing in his throat. Erin's voice recovered a little, "And then I was angry. Angry at the woman who shot you, angry at Cassy for not being there for you," her voice became quiet again, "angry at you for making me so scared."
Erin looked up at him again, a hint of fear in her brown eyes. "I promised myself I wasn't going to tell you this; I'm sorry if I've said too much. I don't mean to hurt your feelings."
Tom's hand slid to her cheek, turning her so that her lips were almost touching his. "No, don't apologize. I'm the one who should apologize to you. I was stupid. I didn't think about what I was doing or what the consequences would be. I shouldn't do that to someone I love." He kissed her lightly on the lips. The contact broke down her emotions, she hitched her breath and then suddenly released a week's worth of pent-up fear. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she cried into his shoulder, soaking the T-shirt underneath. Tom held on to her, and found suddenly that his tears were joining hers.
Cassy closed her eyes and leaned against the wall outside of Tom's room. She had no intention of spying on Tom and Erin. She had returned to the room only because she had forgotten to give him the medical release papers that Harry had asked her to deliver. She was going to drop them off and then leave the couple in peace. She stopped outside the room, waiting for a good time to enter. It never came. Instead, she had heard Erin talking about her fear and Tom apologizing for his actions and his expression of love. And now, Cassy's heart broke, while a single tear trailed down her cheek.
Tom held Erin until she had cried herself to sleep. He didn't want to wake her, just hold her. He hadn't realized how close he came to losing this. He had been lucky. If Cassy and Harry hadn't found him when they did, it would've been over.
His mind drifted back to that night. For the first time since he had been in the hospital, his mind felt clear enough to really understand what he had been through. He remembered Harper shooting him in the back as he ran away from her. He remembered hiding within the confines of the building, praying there was a way to get to his car and find help. He recalled running towards the entrance of the construction site, seeing his car only a few dozen yards away, and then feeling the sharp pain in his shoulder as the second bullet passed through his body and he fell into the hole.
He remembered the helpless fear of suffocation as dirt from above poured over his body, it's weight building on top of him. Then Cassy was there, holding on to him, comforting him. Tom suddenly smiled at the memory of Cassy. She had been his lifeline that night; she had made sure that he didn't drift away into nothingness.
The memory of Cassy sparked a new recollection; one that he had not recalled during his entire recovery. Cassy had been at his room with Harry after the surgery. They had questioned Tom about the events that had occurred that night. And then Cassy was alone with Tom. She said that she wanted to talk with him, that she had something to say to him that she should have said a long time ago.
Tom shifted his position, trying not to disturb Erin. He thought about that night again. Had Cassy ever told him what she was thinking? Had he just forgotten their conversation? With the fever he had suffered during the days after the surgery it was quite possible that Cassy had talked to him and he just couldn't remember what she had said. At that point, Tom decided that he would have to address the issue with Cass. He wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. It was too difficult to get Cassy to talk about her thoughts.
Cassy left the hospital feeling guilty that she had violated the privacy of her ex-husband and his new love. She wiped the tears from her eyes and resolved to push the feelings that had surfaced back into the depths of her soul. She had her shot with Tom, she reasoned. It hadn't worked. Things turned out for the best. They were partners, a great team. Why ruin that for what had already proven to be a disaster of a marriage.
She climbed into the Boxter, started the engine and didn't fight the overwhelming urge to peal out of the parking lot as fast as she could.
Erin woke at 1:30, when the nurse entered the room to give Tom more medication. It was hard to tell who was more embarrassed, the nurse or Erin. Erin wiped the smeared makeup from beneath her eyes and excused herself, informing Tom she was going to run to the cafeteria and grab a quick sandwich. Tom asked her whether she was supposed to be back at school soon, but she had taken the afternoon and intended to stay with him the rest of the day. And to Tom's pleasant surprise, she also informed him that she had asked for a one-week emergency leave of absence for when Tom was released from the hospital's care. She had decided that she wanted be there for Tom during his home recovery.
Tom looked at the tray of food that had been ignored since its delivery before noon. Lifting up the lid, he found the mashed potatoes were now like glue and the roast beef like a shingle of a roof. He turned up his nose and pushed the tray away, opting to eat the fudge brownie only.
Upon Cassy's arrival at the station, Harry motioned for her to enter his office. "So how's Tom doing?"
"Oh, he's fine. He's doing a lot better today than he was a couple of days ago." Cassy forced a smile, not wanting her Captain to see that she had been so emotionally upset.
"Yeah, I was pretty worried about him when that fever hit. I take it that there has been no relapse."
"Nope, the doctor says that the fever is gone and Tom should be released within the next few days, maybe by Monday."
Harry grinned, relieved. Ever since Tom had been shot, he had been holding his breath in fear that he would lose another detective…another friend.
Harry settled back in his chair, thumbed through a couple of files on his desk and pulled out one near the bottom. "Since you're riding solo for awhile, I want you to do some background investigations on new recruits coming in to the department."
Cassy's face fell to the floor, "That sounds like administrative work…I'm a detective."
"Yeah, well, you're a detective who's doing administrative work for the time being. I don't have anyone available to team you up with right now and you know that I don't want my detectives working active files by themselves. I have the budget reports to do or I'd team up with you myself."
"Oh, come on Harry, surely there's some case I could work." Cassy grimaced.
He pointed at the file, "Background investigations, Sargent. That's an order. The Chief asked me to have these done by the end of the month. With everything else on my desk, I'm not going to get to them, so the job's yours." Cassy started to protest further, but was immediately silenced by her boss's glare over the rims of his glasses.
"Yes Sir," she responded obediently.
She went back to her desk and opened the file. Immediately bored with the information, she looked up at Tom's desk on the other side. She missed him…a lot. She missed their bantering about a case; missed the way he would glare at her when she said "Gimme"; missed the way he would lean over her shoulder to read a file; missed the smell of his cologne…suddenly Cassy stopped her line of thinking. "Damn it, St. John, keep your mind on your job," she scolded herself silently. She picked the file back up and held it in front of her face, so that it blocked the view of Tom's desk. She then used every once of her will power to read the facts within.
End Part 2