Love Is Not Enough
Part 5
Cassy ran to her car, but Harry grabbed her arm, "We'll take mine."
The woman was grateful for her Captain's forethought. She didn't think she could concentrate on her driving when all she wanted to do right now was cry…and throw up.
God, was this the punishment for having lied to Tom? She couldn't help but wonder if this is what God was putting her through for having not had the guts to be honest with her partner…her ex-husband…her best friend. Why didn't she tell him? Oh God, was she going to have another chance? Please give me that chance. "Don't let him die," she whispered, tears dropping slowly from the corner of her eyes.
Harry, keeping his eyes on the road and one hand on the steering wheel, reached out with his right hand and took Cassy's. The human contact broke her prayer and she caught her breath. "He'll be okay, Cassy. I can feel it."
She tried to smile, but failed miserably, "Oh Harry, I just don't understand how this happened?…Why this happened. He was getting better…he was happy. Why?"
"I don't know, but we're going to find out. And don't you forget, Tom's a strong man…he was married to you." Harry smiled at the young Sargent, who looked mournfully back. "Come on. You don't want him to see you like this. He's going to need you to be positive, okay?" Cassy silently nodded, pulled a tissue from her purse and wiped her eyes.
Within two minutes, Harry had pulled into the hospital parking lot. The two exited the car and ran to the building, entering through the emergency room. As many times as Harry had been in the ER, he never thought he would be making an appearance here so soon.
The same nurse who had assisted them the night Tom was first shot approached the entrance upon seeing the new arrivals. "You're here for Sgt. Ryan, right? Nurse Schmidt called down and told me to tell you to go straight up to five."
"How is he?" Cassy had to know.
The nurse looked down at his clipboard, frowning. "He took a bullet to the chest. The report from ER was that he was unstable and suffering from blood loss. I really don't have any more details."
"But he's alive, right?" Cassy pushed.
The nurse looked up and shrugged, "He was alive when he left here. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Nurse Schmidt said she would meet you in the waiting room on five to fill you in on what happened."
Harry pulled at Cassy's arm, leading her to the elevator. Within a minute they had stepped out onto the fifth floor and saw the waiting room across the hallway. Upon entering, Cassy was shocked to see that Erin was already there, sitting in a corner chair, crying, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Nurse Schmidt had her arm around Erin's shoulders, pulling her close into a comforting hug. Cassy gasped and felt her heart break, "Oh God, no." Harry grabbed her arm in support, holding on just a little too tight.
Nurse Schmidt looked up and into the eyes of the new arrivals. Erin was crying too hard to notice. The nurse seemed to know that Cassy and Harry had assumed the worse. She smiled, "He's in surgery."
The relief was overwhelming. Cassy thought her legs would give out and she would collapse to the floor. Harry maintained his support, however, and led her to the chair next to the nurse. His voice was not as strong as he would have preferred, "How is he?"
Erin finally composed herself and looked up at the two officers. She tried smiling, but it wouldn't come. Instead she just resorted to resting her forehead in her hands. Nurse Schmidt kept the arm around the young woman, maintaining her emotional support.
"He was shot in the chest. The bullet lodged near the heart. Dr. Miller is doing the surgery. But there are some complications. He is still pretty weak from the other injuries." She replied, maintaining a professional demeanor.
Harry shook his head in disbelief, his anger at the situation starting to rise, "How did this happen? How did one of my officers get shot in the hospital? He was supposed to be recuperating for God's sake."
Nurse Schmidt's eyes fell to the floor, "It was my fault," she whispered. "There had been a gang shooting and the victim, one of the gang members, was recuperating in the room down the hallway. He died this morning. His little brother had been in the room when the kid died, and he just snapped. He pulled a gun on us, threatening to kill us all. Sgt. Ryan must have heard the commotion and came down the hallway. I didn't realize he was there or I would have never…" her voice trailed off.
" 'You would have never' what?" Harry pushed.
"I tried to reason with the kid. The kid thought I was a threat
and aimed the gun at me. I was sure he was going to fire. But Sgt. Ryan jumped him and they both fell…the gun went off…" She dropped her head in shame.
Harry and Cassy didn't know what to say. What could they say? Tom was a cop…protecting and serving the community with his life. His injury hadn't changed that.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault," she repeated. Erin sat silently, head still down in her hands.
Cassy reached to the nurse and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault. It's no one's fault…except for the kid who shot him. Was he taken into custody?"
The nurse nodded silently. She stood suddenly and straightened her uniform. "I'll go check on Sgt. Ryan's status, if you'd like."
"That would be very kind of you," Harry stood also. "Please, don't blame yourself…there's nothing you could have done."
She nodded again and walked to the doorway. Then she stopped and turned back to the group, smiling slightly, "Dr. Miller told Sgt. Ryan that if he got out of bed unassisted he was going to have me give him sponge baths with ice cold hands for the next week. Guess he likes cold hands, huh?" she turned and left the room.
Cassy leaned back in her chair, emotionally exhausted and returned the woman's smile, remembering the doctor's threat. "Damn it, Tom, why didn't you listen?"
Over the next hour, Harry, Cassy and Erin were still waiting patiently for word on Tom's surgery. Nurse Schmidt had stopped in periodically to give them progress reports, but there really wasn't any substantive word from the OR. Harry had called Frannie and Tom's parents. Liam had broken down, the strain of the last two weeks taking its toll. The two were going to hop on the next flight from Boston and Frannie agreed to pick them up at the airport.
Cassy watched Erin, concerned at the woman's silence. The first night Tom had been brought into the hospital, Erin had been Cassy's rock. She had been the strong one, helping Cassy to get through the night. But today, Erin was like another woman. She was despondent, refusing to talk to either Harry or Cassy. Cassy couldn't help but place an arm around her shoulder in an effort to offer comfort. Erin shrugged it off.
Harry had watched the interaction between the two women and frowned suspiciously. He walked over to Tom's love and kneeled down in front of her. She looked up into the older man's eyes and then looked down again.
"Hey, he's gonna be okay. You'll see." He said quietly, with a comforting smile.
Cassy chimed in, "Yeah. You know what we said last week, he's stubborn."
Erin didn't respond, choosing only to bite her lower lip and nod her head in agreement.
Another hour passed, still no word. Harry had left the waiting room to call into the station and find out the status on the shooter. Cassy and Erin sat quietly.
"I didn't think we'd be doing this again." Cassy whispered.
"Neither did I," Erin finally spoke.
Cassy was startled by the sudden response. Erin took a deep breath and continued, "I thought I could handle this." Cassy tilted her head, not understanding the reference. "I was so proud of myself for making it through Tom's shooting last week that I thought I could handle being a police officer's wife." She looked at Cassy, "But now I'm not so sure. I wasn't prepared for this to happen again." The tears started to fall down her cheeks and Cassy took the woman in her arms.
"Erin, I know this isn't easy, but Tom's gonna make it. We have to believe that." She stopped and the smiled slightly at the woman, "Wife, huh?"
Erin matched her smile, "Yeah. I guess that I've been thinking about marriage. I didn't think that I would ever find a man that I was so certain about making a lifetime commitment to, but the past couple of weeks had convinced me that Tom was it." Erin looked into Cassy's eyes now. Was that pain she saw? "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that."
Cassy released the woman and took a deep breath, "Hey, I had my shot. I blew it. You and Tom have something special. I've seen it. I'm happy for you…really I am."
Erin dropped her head and muttered a quiet, "Thank you." She looked at her watch and dropped her forehead into her hands again. "God, why is it taking to long."
Another hour passed. Harry returned to report that the kid, Enrique Ramos, had been booked for attempted murder, and it would be up to the DA to decide whether to try him as an adult. There was still no word from the OR. Officers from the department came to the hospital, filing in and out of the waiting room, offering their support. The look on the face of each was one of shock. No one had ever dreamed that something like this would happen.
Cassy watched Erin silently, observing the woman's emotional strength ebbing and flowing. This was tough on her; hell it was tough on them all. She sank back in the chair and lifted a styrofoam cup filled with bitter coffee to her lips. The longer there was no word from OR, the more Cassy regretted not being honest with her ex-husband. The fear slowly grew from within that she would never have the opportunity to open up to him…to tell him why the marriage had failed…why she had walked away. She closed her eyes and muttered another silent prayer.
Another hour passed. Frannie had called from the airport. Tom's parents had arrived and they would be at the hospital within the next hour.
Harry stood at the window, looking at the parking lot below, watching the six o'clock traffic zooming by. The movement was hypnotic and he allowed his mind to drift. Damn it, he hated hospitals. He had spent way too much time in them. The faces of his family of officers who had been injured…or killed in the line of duty flashed in his memory.
A sudden movement from the waiting room entrance caught his attention. He turned to find Dr. Miller standing quietly in the doorway. Cassy and Erin stood with hopeful looks on their faces.
The doctor didn't respond at first and Harry could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger. "How is he?" he gasped out quietly.
Dr. Miller approached the group, trying to put a smile on his face. "He's alive, but it's been touch and go all afternoon. We removed the bullet, but it was lodged very close to the wall of the heart. He's suffering from arrythmia." At the questioning look of the group, he explained further, "It means that he's having trouble maintaining a steady heart beat. The heart is having to work too hard. I have him on medication to try and counter the reaction, but with his other injuries, I'm concerned that he is going to continue having problems for awhile."
"But he's okay, right?" Cassy asked praying to hear the words she needed to hear.
"As I said, the bullet is out. We've repaired the damage to the vessels, but it'll take time to get the heart beat under control. We have to make sure that he stays calm and quiet. I'm going to order that he stay heavily sedated over the next 24 hours, possibly 48 if the arrythmia medication doesn't take immediate effect." Dr. Miller looked down to his chart, seeing if there was anything he had left out.
"But he's going to make it, right?" Cassy pushed.
The doctor shook his head slightly. "I'm not going to lie to you. Sgt. Ryan is in very critical condition. He's worse now than when he originally came into the hospital. But we're going to do everything we can for him. Trust me." He stood and started for the door, stopped and turned to the group, "Sgt. Ryan is quite a man. If he hadn't intervened, several people could have died this afternoon. I just want you to know how special he is to us." The doctor exited the room, leaving tears in his wake.
End Part 5