Love Is Not Enough
By: Terri D. Thomas
Part 7
Dr. Miller ran past Cassy and in to Tom's room without a word. Cassy started to follow him in, hoping to see what he was doing to Tom. Before she could make a move, she heard voices from the other end of the hall and realized that the Ryans and Erin were returning. She took a deep breath, knowing it was going to be up to her to warn them of Tom's worsening condition.
She approached them before they could make it to the window, reached out and grabbed Erin and Margaret's arms, halting their progression. She started to speak, but the words wouldn't come.
"Cassy, what's wrong?" Margaret immediately read the fear in Cassy's eyes. Cassy still couldn't speak, her mouth open, but no sound escaping. "Oh my God, Cassy, what's happened?" Tom's mother repeated, starting to push her way past the cop and towards Tom's room.
"Margaret, no." Cassy finally spoke, grabbing the woman by the arm again. "Dr. Miller is with him. . .you can't go in there."
Margaret ignored her, pulling free and running to the room. She came to a sudden halt at the door, just in time to see Tom's body arching off the table. Dr. Miller held the paddles of the defibrillator in his hands.
"Again! Clear!" The doctor ordered to the nurse who was at the controls of the machine. He pressed the paddles to Tom's chest, and his body raised off the table again.
Margaret couldn't help the scream of fear that rose from her throat, "Oh my God, no! Thomas! What are you doing to him? Thomas!" She started to run forward, her mothering instincts telling her to protect her child, but Liam caught her by the arm and pulled her back into the hallway. She tried to fight him, but then suddenly stopped. She looked into her husband's eyes and then just as suddenly collapsed. Liam grabbed his wife before she fell to the floor and lifted her to his arms. He was torn between finding help for his wife and watching the hospital staff work desperately to save his son's life.
Cassy immediately took control. "Let's take her to the room," she ordered. Liam was operating on autopilot and didn't think to argue.
They entered the room that Dr. Miller had reserved for them and gently eased Tom's mother onto the bed. Cassy elevated her feet and Liam grabbed a cold washcloth from the bathroom. He laid it across her forehead. Almost immediately she began to rouse. Her eyes were filled with confusion at first, not remembering what had led her to this place. Then the eyes filled with pain and she broke down crying. "Thomas is dead. My baby is dead." Liam tried to quiet her, but she would not listen to his words. "My baby," she repeated, the words only broken by her sobs.
Cassy stumbled out of the room, realizing that the only thing that would help Margaret was to know that Tom still lived. . .that there was still hope. She returned to Tom's room to find Erin standing outside the door. Cassy realized that the woman had not moved from that spot since Tom's mother collapsed. Cassy felt her heart sink, overwhelmed with sudden fear. "Erin? Is he. . ." she couldn't bring herself to ask the question. "Erin? What's happened."
The woman didn't respond. She just stared straight ahead, into the room. Cassy approached the door, prepared for the worse. Instead, she saw Dr. Miller, readjusting the blanket over Tom's chest and the nurse reinserting an IV which had been jarred loose. "He's alive," she whispered, relief flooding through her. She felt her legs growing weak and she leaned back against the hallway wall. "Erin, he's okay. . .he's alive." There was still no response from the woman. She continued to stare into the room. Cassy approached her, placed a hand on her shoulder. "Erin," she repeated, "he's okay. Why don't you come with me? We'll go tell Margaret and Liam that he's okay."
Erin pushed her hand off the shoulder. "No. I need some air," she replied quietly. Without any further words, she turned and walked to the elevator. Cassy thought about stopping her, but didn't know what to say to bring her back. Perhaps it was best to let her go and heal in her own way. She turned back to the room and looked at Dr. Miller. The man glanced up at Cassy, smiled and nodded his head. She closed her eyes and said a prayer, "Thank you."
Dr. Miller left his patient’s side and walked into the hallway. "He’s stabalized. . .for now." The doctor looked up and down the hallway, "Where are his parents?"
Cassy grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the room they were in. "They need to hear this from you. You need to tell them that he’s okay."
Dr. Miller didn’t resist. He followed Cassy to the room and tapped lightly on the door. Liam opened it, his eyes red.
"May I come in?" the doctor asked politely. Liam stepped back.
The room was dark, the only light coming from the streetlights outside the hospital window. Miller saw that Margaret was sobbing softly, curled up in a ball on the bed. He approached her side, sat in the chair next to the bed and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Mrs. Ryan?" She was so caught up in her grief she didn’t hear his words. "Mrs. Ryan, Tom is okay. He’s stabilized."
The words seemed to finally penetrate her brain and she caught her breath. Liam closed his eyes and leaned backwards against the wall. "Tommy’s okay?" his voice was full of wonderment. "Did you hear that, Honey, Tommy’s okay." He rushed forward and grabbed his wife in his arms. Both were crying once again, but this time the tears were of joy, not sorrow.
Cassy watched the emotional scene, unable to halt her own tears. Dr. Miller smiled at the group, "I’m sorry we scared you like that. Tom scared us."
"What happened?" Cassy asked the man as she wiped her eyes.
"His heart began to work too hard to pump oxygen to the brain. It caused the muscle to stop working. We had to use the defibrillator to return the heart to its normal rate."
"But he’s okay now, right?" Liam asked, Margaret still curled up against him.
"He’s stabilized, for now. I can’t make any promises, though. It could happen again. I was hoping the medication we were giving him would prevent any further complications, but it didn’t. I’ve ordered an increase in the dosage." The doctor rose from the chair.
"Can we see him?" Margaret finally spoke, her voice meek.
The doctor smiled, "Not yet. I want to check back in on him. I’d prefer to not have him disturbed for a while. Maybe in a couple of hours, okay."
Liam looked as if he were going to argue, but the doctor cut him off with a gentle hand, "I meant what I said earlier. I’m going to do everything within my power to help your son. I promise you that. Right now, the best thing for him is quiet." He turned and left the room.
Cassy looked at her ex-in laws. They looked exhausted; she felt the same. She could feel their pain as well as her own. "Is there anything I can get for you?" Both shook their heads.
"Thank you for being here with us, Cassy." Margaret said, her voice still catching from the tears that she had cried.
"Where else would I be? That’s my. . .my best friend lying in there," she smiled.
Margaret looked around the room suddenly, "Where’s Erin?"
Cassy didn’t know what to say or how much to tell the couple. "She needed to get some air. She’ll be back soon." Cassy leaned forward and placed a kiss on Margaret’s cheek, and then similarly gave one to Liam. "Why don’t you two lay down and try to get some sleep. I’ll come and wake you up when they decide to let Tom have visitors, okay?"
Liam started to protest, but was silenced by his wife’s hand on his leg, "She’s right, Hon. We need to get some sleep." The woman looked at Cassy, "Thank you."
Cassy nodded and left the room.
Cassy walked to the ICU room. Dr. Miller was back at Tom’s side; a nurse accompanied him, writing notes in the file. The doctor took out a flashlight and checked Tom’s pupil response in each eye. Cassy expected her partner to flinch at the bright light, but there was nothing; no reaction, no sign that Tom was aware of the intrusion.
She took a deep breath and decided that she needed to find Erin. Erin’s behavior had worried Cassy. When Tom was first admitted to the hospital, Erin had remained strong the entire time. Cassy was amazed at the woman’s fortitude. But this time, Erin was different. The pillar of strength Cassy had seen before appeared to be crumbling.
Cassy went to the elevator. It opened immediately and she made her way to the hospital lobby. There was little activity. She searched in each of the waiting areas, but found no sign of Erin.
She exited through the main entrance and saw the woman sitting on a park bench, staring out into the night. Cassy approached quietly, debating on whether to disturb her. She took a deep breath and sat down on the bench. "Hi," she said simply.
Erin’s voice was so quiet that Cassy had to strain to hear her over the traffic noise. "He’s dead, isn’t he."
"Oh God, no Erin. He’s okay. They stabilized him." Cassy reached out to the woman and put an arm around her shoulder. Erin didn’t try to pull away this time, in fact, to Cassy’s dismay, she showed no reaction at all. "Erin? Did you hear me? He’s okay." She looked closely at the woman and could see tears streaming down her face.
Suddenly Erin spoke again, "I can’t do this."
"What?" Cassy was confused.
"I can’t live like this." Erin said simply.
Cassy thought she knew what the woman was referring to, but asking for an explanation scared her. She didn’t want to hear any more.
Erin continued, "I love him. . .God, I love him. . .but I can’t live like this."
Cassy wrapped her other arm around the woman and brought her into a tight hug. Erin’s strong facade cracked and she sobbed uncontrollably in the woman’s arms.
End Part 7