Part 8
Erin cried on Cassy's shoulder for what seemed hours. The night air chilled the cop and she wished desperately that she had worn warmer clothing, but she didn't have the heart to disturb the distraught woman.
"I'm so. . .so scared," she gasped in between sobs. "When I saw him being jolted off the bed. . .I thought I was going to die from the pain."
"I know," Cassy comforted. "I felt the same way."
"Oh, Cassy. I thought I could handle this. I thought I was strong. But I know that even if I make it through this and Tom's okay, I'll live every day wondering when its going to happen again. When he'll do something stupidly heroic and end up. . ."
Erin cried again.
"Erin, you know as well as I do that there are no guarantees in life. Any of us can go at any time. Tom is a good cop, he has good judgment. What happened to him could have happened to any police officer. . .to any person."
"What? He's a victim of circumstance?" Erin scoffed.
"In a way." Cassy was much more serious. "Look, I know you're scared, but so is he. Even though he isn't awake, I know that he is scared to death of the pain he is about to face. He needs you." Cassy said the words, but couldn't believe they were coming from her mouth. Here she was, lamenting for Tom just a few hours ago, jealous of his new relationship, and now she was trying to convince the object of his affection to stay by his side. Life was certainly cruel.
Erin sat silently for a long time. She shook her head "I'm going home. I need to think." She stood. Cassy started to speak, to stop the woman from leaving, but then decided that maybe time was the best medicine for what ailed the woman. She watched Erin walk to the parking lot, climb into her Honda and drive away. . .away from Tom. And to Cassy's complete surprise, her heart broke again.
Erin's pain was familiar. This woman had found a man to love, but because of her own emotional limitations, was finding it impossible to remain. Cassy had to smile. Erin's was really no different than she. Cassy had left Tom, despite loving him, because she couldn't deal with her own feelings of insecurity. It was easier to escape the pain of the relationship than to deal with the uncertainty. It sounded as if Erin was experiencing the same feelings. Her fears were now in control of her emotions. She was no longer able to keep them at bay. And those fears were telling her to run. . .to escape the pain.
Cassy shook her head sadly, already knowing where this story was heading. She had already lived it. When the smoke cleared all that would be left would be the remains of two broken spirits. Erin would regard it as a failure on her part. . .that she lacked the strength to be supportive, and Tom. . .poor Tom, would never know what happened. Damn, it was just like their marriage.
Except, unlike their marriage, Tom was on the verge of death now. Cassy didn't want to think about what effect Erin's emotional state would have on her partner's recovery. She knew Tom loved Erin as much as he loved Cassy. To have a second woman walk out of his life with no explanation would shatter him, and in his current condition. . .. Cassy took a deep breath, making a decision that she would have never thought possible, "I have to make sure Erin stays with Tom."
"Cassy? Are you okay, Honey? Did something happen to Tom?" Cassy was startled to hear Frannie's voice. She looked over her shoulder to see Harry and his wife standing behind her. Harry had left the hospital earlier to bring Frannie back. Cassy realized that the couple probably didn't know about Tom's deteriorating status.
She took a deep breath and smiled, "He had some problems earlier," the memory of the ICU assaulted her, "We almost lost him," she said quietly.
"But he's okay now?" Harry's concern was evident. Cassy nodded.
"Then why are you sitting out here by yourself." Harry asked suspiciously.
"Erin needed. . .needed to talk."
Harry looked around for the woman, "Did she go back in?"
Cassy shook her head, "She left." Harry started to say something, but a stern look from Frannie kept him quiet.
Frannie sat on the bench and put an arm around the younger woman. "It's pretty chilly out here. Why don't we go inside and check on Tom."
Cassy nodded silently and the three walked inside together.
Harry stood at the ICU window gazing at his detective’s still form. He watched the slow up and down movement of Tom’s chest, his breathing being manipulated by the respirator. He felt a lump grow in his throat as he fought his rising fear.
Frannie seemed to sense her husband’s pain and walked up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his back, "You okay?"
Harry nodded silently, unable to move his eyes from Tom’s face. "Just thinking."
"It’s hard, isn’t it," she whispered softly.
Harry nodded again. He turned to his wife and held her close. "Thank you."
"For what?" She looked quizzically.
"For being you. For caring enough about me. . .about my people to be here with me."
Frannie smiled and pulled his face down towards hers, "My place is with you. . .there’s no where else I should be." She kissed him lightly on the lips and then squeezed his cheek playfully, "and don’t you forget that."
Cassy walked up behind the couple quietly. She had come from the lady’s room after freshening up from her talk with Erin. She was emotionally and physically drained, wanting nothing more than to collapse into a bed and sleep. But her conscience would not let her leave Tom. She wasn’t sure why. He didn’t know she or the others were here. His own parents were asleep in the hospital room down the hall. Why did she feel it necessary to stay outside this room?
Harry saw Cassy and smiled in a fatherly way, "Cassy, you look tired. Why don’t you get some rest? We’ll stay here and make sure Tom is okay."
Cassy shook her head. "No, that’s okay. Tom’s parents are asleep right now. When they wake up then I’ll go lay down."
"You need to get your rest," he looked at his detective in that special, endearing and irritating way.
"I need my partner back," she muttered.
Frannie put her arm around the woman, "You’ll get him back good as new. I promise. It’ll just take time."
"I know. It’s just that he has been here for so long that it’s easy to lose hope."
"That’s why you need to get rest. It’ll will help your attitude," Frannie lectured.
"Okay," she gave up and allowed Frannie to lead her to the spare room. She patted Harry on the arm as she left, "Take care of our boy, okay?"
Tom, despite the problems he had suffered in the early evening, had a peaceful night. The increase of medication seemed to allow the heart to return to the semblance of a normal beat. The doctor did not allow any visitors in the room, so the family and friends were relegated to watching him sleep from the glass window. During the entire night, there was no sign of Erin.
The next morning came. Cassy convinced Tom's parents to move their things to Tom's apartment, since it appeared his recovery from this injury would take longer than the last. Harry had returned to work, leaving Cassy to watch out for her partner's well being. And there was still no sign of Erin.
By late morning, Dr. Miller was checking on his patient, pleased with the progress that had been made during the past 12 hour period. Tom's heart had continued to maintain a steady rhythm, the arrhythmia appeared to be under control. Even though he was still unconscious, visitors were now permitted in the room.
Tom's parents had gone to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite to eat. Cassy had refused their offer to join in, saying she wanted to be with Tom awhile before she went into work later that day. Now she was alone with her partner. The respirator was still operating, the swoosh of the machine and the chime from the heart monitor creating a strange musical noise in the room.
The pain he was suffering was evident in his face. The eyebrows were slightly creased and there were soft moans which escaped from his throat, muffled by the oxygen tube in his mouth.
"You had us worried last night, you know," she whispered. "Don't do that again. I told your Mom and Dad to stay at your apartment. I figure that if you want to keep your furniture arranged the way you have it now, you'd better hurry and get better. Otherwise your Mom will strike first and you'll never find anything." She smiled at the memory of Tom complaining of his mother's meticulous housekeeping habits. He used to tease Cassy that when he married her, he really had married his mother. Cassy was just like Margaret. She was constantly picking up after him, lifting his feet to vacuum underneath. No matter how clean the house looked, it could always be cleaner, she would mutter.
"I suppose you think that having this heart problem is going to make me be nice to you. . .well you're wrong buster." It was an effort to make her voice jovial.
Her hand caressed the side of his face, avoiding the mask. There was a sudden flutter from his eyelids at the contact. Hope rose in her immediately, "Thomas?" She leaned closer to his ear, "Thomas, can you hear me?" The eyes beneath the lids were restless. She could see the outline of their movement back and forth. Cassy left the room to call the nurse, concerned after the last episode he had experienced with his heart.
The nurse entered the room and checked the respirator and heart monitor. "I think he's slowly coming out from under the sedative. His heart rate is looking real good. He also appears to be breathing on his own. I'm going to call Dr. Miller and see if we can take him off the tube and put him on mask. The doctor will also determine whether we have to re-sedate him." She left the room, leaving Cassy alone with her restless partner.
"Cassy?" Harry’s quiet voice startled her. She turned to see her Captain standing in the doorway, his normally tanned face was now pale. Cassy frowned and looked back at Tom. Everything was still stable with her injured partner, so Harry’s face meant something else was wrong.
"What is it Harry?" she asked, concerned.
"Come with me. Something’s happened." Harry’s face remained pale, he reached out and took her hand, leading her into the hallway.
Dr. Miller was standing outside the door, leaning against the wall, a file in hand. Margaret and Liam were holding each other close, Margaret crying on her husband's shoulder, Cassy’s heart sank, she knew something was terribly wrong. . ."Is it Thomas?" was all she could ask. She was met with silence. She looked frantically from her Captain, to the doctor, to the Ryans, trying to glean the information that no one was telling her.
Dr. Miller finally spoke up. "I was just having coffee with one of the doctors who was working ER this morning. . .we were going through the daily reports." He looked down at his file, as if trying to find the words to help him say what he needed to say. "Erin was in a car accident. She was brought in at 5:15 a.m." He closed the file and looked earnestly into Cassy’s blue eyes, "She was suffering from severe head trauma. . .the doctor did everything he could, but. . .I'm sorry. . .but she didn't make it."
End Part 8