The primary crew stood in the Meeting Room looking over different sections of Earth.  Dino-Bot made his first selection.  "I wish to try to survive the most dangerous of Earth locations.  Somewhere where my very life hangs on a thread and my existence is threatened by monsters of the deep.  I shall go to New York, in the United States of America.  Londo?"
    "I've always wanted to go to Summer Camp.  But it is winter in the Western Hemisphere, so the best location for Summer Camp is Tokyo.  I'll bring along a translation device."  Londo picked up a small box-like object and stuck it in one of his pockets.  Both Worf and Dino-Bot were about to correct Londo about it being winter in the Western Hemisphere, and how seasons work on planets, but decided against it.   "What about you Starbuck?" Londo continued.
    Starbuck stroked his chin thoughtfully.  "I've always wanted to visit the French Riviera.  Great....dining....yeah, dining is along the coast.  And....the people look, er, are rather nice there.  It is summer there too right?  Great, I would like to watch, er, go swimming too."  Starbuck cleared his throat and, eager to change the subject, looked at Worf.  "What about you Worf?"
    Worf thought a moment.  "Hollywood."
    Dino-Bot nodded after a beat.  "And?"
    Worf continued.  "I express interest in going.  Cat?"
    Cat snapped his fingers.  "Rio baby!!  I want to dance the night away.  The women will flock to me tonight!"
    Londo nodded slowly.  "Okay.....Rio de Janeiro.  Doctor?"
    The holographic doctor thought for a moment.  "China.  I wish to experience overpopulation and see if they need my help in the hospitals.  What about you Tarantulas?"
    Tarantulas grumbled.  "I'm not going!  I am almost finished the Joymaster 2000!"
    The doctor raised an eyebrow.  "Fabulous.  I don't want to know.  Governor?"
    The Governor responded instantly.  "A catnip factory."
    Worf sighed.  "Why bother asking him?  We should have known he would have said that!  Where?  What factory???"
    "I changed my mind!" the Governor exclaimed.  "I want to go to Africa to see my cousins kill things!"
    Dino-Bot broke into the conversation.  "Let's go before he changes his mind!  Maximize!"  Dino-Bot transformed and they all left for the docking bay.

    Dino-Bot shimmered into the dark alley, and he waited for the transporter to finish.  Once it did, he looked around and noticed two bums looking at him.  He growled and thought for a moment.  One straightened up to talk, but Dino-Bot interrupted him.  "Time Police: Do not interfere."
    The bums looked at each other and obviously decided he was telling the truth.  Dino-Bot pulled a giant overcoat over his large form and tucked his robotic head underneath a fedora.  "I've always wanted to wear one of these." he muttered, and he calmly walked out into the Manhattan night.
    As he walked down the street, he was surprised at the number of destitute.  He stopped at an old man and crouched before him.  The man looked up at him with sadness in his eyes.  Dino-Bot addressed him civilly.  "Where is your honor?"
    The man looked at his hands.  "I've lost it."
    "How?" Dino-Bot immediately asked.
    The man stared off into space and said nothing more.
    Dino-Bot felt pity in his bi-valve pump.  Alas, he could do nothing.  He continued down the deserted street and stopped at a street lamp that was not working.  Not that it mattered.  His optics adjusted to any light setting given that there was----
    The arrival of three youth wearing dark clothing interrupted his thoughts.  "Hey man." the one in front grinned.  Mega-Tron grins like that...was the first thought to enter his mind.  Apparently, his disguise was working sufficiently.  "Nice boots." the youngster said again.
    Dino-Bot looked down at his bare feet.  "They are fine by me." Dino-Bot growled.
    The youth seemed unperturbed.  "We are in a bit of a fix, mister.  We missed our bus, and taxis don't take bus passes.  Could you spare us some cash?"
    The youth was obviously lying.  "No." Dino-Bot snorted.
    "Too bad." the youth shrugged.  He brandished a nasty looking knife, while his comrades beared similar weapons.  Dino-Bot began to laugh.  "What's so funny, pretty boots?" the leader asked agitated.
    Dino-Bot threw off his hat and jacket.  He observed the sheer look of terror on their faces.  "The look on your puny faces!  I am Dino-Bot, and you are unworthy of my attention.  Leave or face the consequences!"  He raised his sword menacingly above his face.
    The youth promptly dropped their weapons and ran.  Dino-Bot grinned and continued his scouting of the city.

    Consequently, the leader of the youth, one Mitchell Stevenson, swore to be a good boy and at the age of twenty-six became an accountant.  His goons, Clarence and Eugene, joined the IRS and a rock band named ‘Poo-Poo' respectively.

    Worf walked down the streets of Hollywood with a slight smile on his face.  All around him were stars and starlets that were well known of the era.  None seemed to think he was out of place.  This was a life he could get used to!  Finally he made it to the Warner Bros. Studios, and he strolled up to the gate.
    The gate keeper looked up at him.  "Yes sir, what can I do for you?"
    Worf seemed taken aback by the question.  "I wish to enter the facilities."
    The gatekeeper nodded encouragingly.  "Yes, that's good.  But do you want to go on a tour...?"
    Worf thought carefully.  "That would be desirable.  Yes."
    "Are you already signed up with one?"
    "No."
    "Would you like to sign up with one?"
    "Yes."
    "Let me see if we have any room today....." the gatekeeper typed something onto his computer.  "Here we are!  The tour starts in 15 minutes.  That will be $22.00 please."
    Worf forked over the cash, which the gatekeeper took, and watched as the gate lifted.  "Enjoy your stay sir!" the gatekeeper yelled.  Worf grunted a response.

    The doctor walked into Beijing and saw the overflowing streets.  He clapped his hands in delight.  "At last, my skills will be appreciated!"  He began to walk down the street.
    A couple of Chinese children saw the doctor with the mobile emitter on his arm, and decided to steal it.  Running up to him, they pushed through the crowds and grabbed the emitter.  They screamed in shock as the man vanished when they grabbed the emitter.  The boy with the emitter threw it as far as he could.  The emitter bounced down the street and fell into a ditch.  The emitter sank like a rock and remained there.

    In Japan, Londo stared at the entry form in the rain.  The form did not read anything intelligible.  Unfortunately, the translation device could not allow him to read Japanese.  He sighed and finally signed his name under a column he thought was counselor.  He wrinkled his nose and headed back towards his apartment.
    After fighting off at least fifteen prostitutes, he got to his apartment.  He stepped inside the lobby and took the stairs to his room.  He opened the door and walked into the rundown flat.  He could still hear the strip club upstairs.  He sighed and went to sleep, waiting for the call from the summer camp.

    Starbuck was lying back on the nude beach, completely naked and relaxed.  He was disappointed to learn that there was only men here right now, but the ladies should be here any minute.
    Just as he finished that thought, several nude girls, at most 22, started playing volleyball.  The sun was shining bright as he watched the nubile ladies.  Soon he became completely relaxed and fell asleep.

    The poacher lifted his rifle in Kenya, and took aim at the pride of lions.  He had the chief male in his sights.  "That's not a good idea." someone said behind him.
    The poacher turned around, but there was only an ordinary house cat there.  He shook his head and took aim again.  "I said that's not a good idea!" the voice said again.
    The poacher turned around again.  Still just a cat.  He looked harder and only saw that orange cat.  He turned around and took aim.  "I said....THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!" the voice yelled just as he pulled the trigger.  The shot missed completely, but he attracted the attention of the Game Park Wardens.  He cursed blindly as he saw them coming in his direction.
    The cat suddenly jumped in front of his face.  "Told you so." the cat said.
    The poacher screamed and took off.  He turned to run, but tripped over a root and landed face first in rhinoceros dung.  The cat landed in front of him and began laughing.  "Good move, dumb bell!" it said.
    The Game Wardens broke through the bush, picked up the poacher and hauled him off to prison.  The cat was still laughing as he was dragged away...

    The poacher, one Abdul Mandika, got out of prison two years later because of good behavior and vowed to never hunt animals again.  He bought a big house and now shares it with 27 cats to get back on nature's good side.

    Nothing much could be said about the Cat.  He went to Rio de Janeiro and partied all night, every night.  He was upset though, because all the women he danced with already had boyfriends, who would suddenly appear out of nowhere and chase him away.

    The Governor tried to get some sleep, but suddenly heard the laugh of approaching hyenas.

    The rain poured harder in Beijing.  Soon, one of many ditches filled with water and they carried any objects away in strong currents.  Even rocks...and a mobile emitter.  The emitter moved downstream and out into a river.  The river, with a stronger current carried the emitter out towards the ocean.

    Dino-Bot awoke on the street lying on his back.  His optics blinked on and all he saw was a dark sky and a lot of rain.  He then blinked again to refocus his surroundings.  His memories blinked back into stand-by mode and then he finally had full recall.  He roared with anger.  "That's right!!!!"  The memories roared back.
    First, he had been walking down the street towards an apartment.  Then he stopped to look at some prostitutes who were giving him strange looks.  One suggested something about being kinky.  He growled turned to leave, and was suddenly hit on the head with a bullet.
    He had been in the middle of a gang war.
    Bullets were flying everywhere and many gang members were being shot down.  A bullet got lucky and hit him in his 053KL45P7K1JL7--156 Nervous System Processing Control Compensator.  As a result, he fell down onto the street, paralyzed.  He was not sure as to how it penetrated his body armor at first, then he saw a young man, who must have been 13, carrying an AK-47.
    After the police broke up the gang war, Dino-Bot had to do a lot of thinking.  He finally was spared from thinking when more hoodlums showed up and decided he could use some decorating.  So they spray painted him various colors for the better part of an hour.

    The Cat continued partying.

    Starbuck woke up suddenly.  It was dusk and there were now only couples celebrating the joys of not having to reproduce by method of binary fission.  He started to get up, but his body was on fire.  A thought formed in his mind.  "I've been asleep in the sun for 13 hours."  Obviously, he had been more tired than expected.
    He looked at his dark red body and started to cry.  But that really hurt.  He coughed and that really hurt too.  He reached for his clothes....and found only sand.  He looked in horror at where his clothes, communicator, chronometer, plasma weapon, scanner, and money should be.  There was just sand.  Someone had even stolen the towel he was sleeping on.
    By now the couples' festivities began to get a bit more involved.  Starbuck, feeling more than a little embarrassed started to get up.  He legs burnt up beneath him and he fell on his back.  That hurt too.  "Aw man!" he complained.
    He managed to get up and began to run to one of the change rooms; which may contain extra or misplaced clothes.  Every step was excruciating.

    Londo washed the fifteenth giant bowl of the evening.  The turnout of the camp was phenomenal. 1265 students had gathered for one of the largest camps of the year.  Londo was signed on as a dishwasher because of his hair.  He was the only one there.  By the end of the second night, he had collapsed into the dishwater and had to be resuscitated.
    Londo continued scrubbing the pan, but nothing was coming loose.  He growled and continued.  Finally he threw down the gloves and picked up his communicator.  I'm sick of this, they should wash their stupid dishes!  He took the translator out of his ear and was about to activate the communicator, when the head chef burst through the door, screaming.  Londo dropped the communicator and the translator into the dish water, as the chef continued berating him about who-knows-what.  The chef left and slammed the door.
    Londo fished out the two devices and tried to get them working.  "I'll have to dry them out." he said sadly.  He put on the gloves and continued doing the dishes.

    The Cat continued partying.

    The mobile emitter caught onto some silt and was pulled to shore.  A Chinese fisherman removed the hook from the emitter and frowned.  He put the emitter in his pocket and kept fishing.
    An hour later, the fisherman felt the call of nature and went home for the day.  He stumbled into his home and went into the washroom.  As he prepared to do his business, a spider crawled down his wall.  Seeing nothing that could kill it, he fished in his pockets.  He hand closed over the mobile emitter and he used it to smack the spider into non-existence.  The spider's guts remained on the emitter and the man frowned in disgust.
    So he flushed it down the toilet.

    Worf walked into Warner Bros. Studios head office.  He burst through the president's office with the secretary trailing him, begging him to wait.  "I wish to speak to you." Worf growled.
    The president of Warner Bros. looked Worf up and down, and dismissed his secretary.  "About what?"
    Worf snarled.  "I want to be an actor!"
    The president laughed.  "You must be joking!  What are you, anyway?"
    "I am a Klingon!"
    "Great.  Another one. Look, I'm sure you're great, but I don't hire actors." the president returned to his paper work.
    Worf pounded on his table.  "I will not be dismissed that easily!"
    The president looked up at Worf and a grin spread on his face.  "Actually, I think we have a part for you..."

    The Cat continued partying.

    The Governor strolled out to meet the lions again.  "Okay, so we got off to a bad start, but we can forget about that, right?"
 The male lion roared and charged him again.  "Not again!" the Governor cried as he ran into the brush.  The male lion went back to the pride as a lioness returned with dead gazelle.  The Governor sighed.  "Boring!" he snorted.  An idea struck him, and he fell asleep.

    Dino-Bot struggled to get up.  He Control Compensator was partially repaired and his mobility was limited.  He managed to gather up enough control for transformation.  "Beast...mode."  He turned into a velociraptor and collapsed again into the street.
    A man walked along up to him.  "Wow!  A dinosaur right here in Manhattan!  I'm going to be rich and famous!"
    Dino-Bot groaned.  "Hardly, you profit-obsessed worm."
    The man stepped back for a moment.  "It...talks....I'm going to be more rich and famous!" he shouted.  He grabbed Dino-Bot and tried to pick him up.  He failed.  "A bit heavy, don't you think?"
    "A bit odoriferous, don't you think?" Dino-Bot retorted.
    "He tells jokes!!  I am going to be even more rich and famous!  Wait here.  I'm going to grab a crane!" the man said and ran off.  Dino-Bot tried to get up and failed.  "Damage report." he stated.
    His internal computer processed the information.  "Full recovery in twenty point five megacycles."
    Dino-Bot snarled.  "I need a CR chamber!  Dino-Bot to Scotty."  No response.  "Dino-Bot to anyone!"  No response.
    The internal computer scanned him again.  "Communicator damaged."
    Dino-Bot snorted.

    The mobile emitter flowed through sludge in the sewers...
 ...the Governor was being chased by hyenas...
 ...Worf was singing the lead in ‘Annie' quite unhappily...
 ...Starbuck was running through a rural town, sunburnt and devoid of clothes...
 ...Londo was washing dishes coated with raw fish, burnt rice, and stringy seaweed...
 ...the Cat was partying...
 ...And they all materialized on the transporter platform at once.  Scotty looked up at them.  "Sorry to interrupt your vacation, but the repairs are as complete as they can be here, and the wormhole will close soon.  How did it go?"
    The Cat grinned from one ear to the other.  "It was great!  Take us back for at least another night!"
    The Governor, Worf, Starbuck, Londo, Dino-Bot, and the reactivated (and slightly dirty) doctor glared at the Cat in unison before collapsing to the ground.  The Cat looked at all the bodies.  "What did I say?"

    Welcome and farewell from our fair planet, crew!  Join us next time in "Creatures of Mixed-Up Space" as we learn about the furry, slimy, and stinky people on board.  Farewell!