Here are some of my favorite sounds. I only made some of them, the others I found on the internet.
| Sound Name | Description | Size |
|---|---|---|
| Kick Ass | Cartman: Kick ass! | 7.7 kb |
| Appetizer | Cartman: You see Starvin Marvin, these are what we call appetizers. Marvin: Appetizer. Cartman: this is what you eat before you eat, to make you more hungry. |
85 kb |
| Ass Master | Cartman: Are you crazy? I'm the Candy Master! Stan: No, no, you're the Ass Master, there's a difference. Cartman: Hey! I'm not the one who walks around all day, looking like Pippi Longstockings! |
72 kb |
| Come Over | Stan: Hey, you guys wanna come over to my house? Kyle: We've got work to do Stan, I think it takes a while for an elephant to get drunk. Stan: You guys don't want to come over for just a little bit? Cartman: Why, your sister gonna kick your ass again? Stan: Shutup Cartman! Kenny: Mmph mmph mmph mmph. Kyle: She's just a girl. Cartman: Yeah, If some girl tried to kick my ass, I'd be like, hey!! Why don't you stop dressing me up like a mailman, and making me dance for you, while you go and smoke crack in your bedroom, and have sex with some guy i don't even know, on my dad's bed! Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you talking about? Cartman: I'm just saying you're a little wuss, that's all. |
302 kb |
| Cheesypoofs | Mrs. Cartman: You want cheesypoofs with that? Cartman:Yeah I want cheesypoofs! |
69 kb |
| Kids Call Fat | Cartman:I don't want powdered donuts and pie! All the kids at school are calling me fat! Mrs. Cartman:You're not fat, you're big boned. Cartman:That's what I said. |
80 kb |
| Hello | Big Gay Al: Hello there little pup! I'm big Gay Al! | 38 kb |
| Kill Grandpa | Stan's Grandpa: You can kill me can't ya?
Cartman: I would never kill someone, 'less they pissed me off. Stan's Grandpa: Ohh, is that a fact, well let me tell you something Porky, your mom was over hear earlier, and I humped her like a little bitch! Cartman: What?! Stan's Grandpa: That's right, and then I dug up your great Grandma's skelton, and had my way with her too. Cartman: You piece of crap!! I'll kill you!! Kyle: Come on Cartman, he's just trying to get to you, we can go watch Terence and Philip in the kitchen. Stan's Grandpa: Did I ever tell you about the time I got your dad fatso??! |
258 kb |
| Theme Song | Lyrics to theme song. | 279 kb |
| My Pot Pie | Kitty: Meow! Cartman: No Kitty, this is my pot pie Kitty: Meow Cartman: No Kitty! That's a bad Kitty Kitty: Meow Cartman: No Kitty, this is my pot pie! Kitty: *hiss* Cartman: Mom! Kitty's being a dildo! Mrs. Cartman: Well then I know a certain Kitty Kitty who's sleeping with mama tonight Cartman: Huh? |
208 kb |
| No More School | All four boys (*singing*): We got outta school, no more school today.
Cartman: Ahh! You guys, my ass! Seriously! | 181 kb |
| Snacky Cakes | Cartman: I can't believe that son of a bitch!! Stan: Here Cartman, have some snacky cakes. Cartman: Dude, snacky cakes? kickass. |
46 kb |
| What in the hell | Chef: Hello Children. Children: Hey Chef. Chef: What in the hell are you doing dressed up like that??!! Cartman: Eating Kenny's pudding. |
65 kb |
| Rainbow | Kyle: Hey Stan, did you see that rainbow this morning? Stan: Yeah, it was huge. Cartman: Ugh, I hate those things! Kyle: Nobody hates rainbows. Stan: Yeah, what’s there to hate about rainbows? Cartman: Well, you know. You’ll just be sitting there, minding your own business and they’ll come marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass and you’ll be all like: "Hey!! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!". Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?! Cartman: I’m talking about rainbows. I hate those freakin things! Stan: Rainbows are those little arches of color that show up during a rain storm. Cartman: Ohhh, rainbows. Oh yeah, I like those, those are cool. Kyle:What were you talking about? Cartman: Huh? Oh, nothin, forget it. Kyle: No, what marches in, crawls up your leg and bites the inside of your ass? Cartman: Nothing, nothing! |
397 kb |
| Weight Gain 4000 | Cartman: Mom can you get me some Weight Gain 4000? Mrs. Cartman: OK Eric I’ll get you some tomorrow Cartman: But mom, I need it for tomorrow! Mrs. Cartman: But tomorrow is grocery day Eric. Cartman: Mom, *whinig* *whining* *whining*. Mrs. Cartman: Ok ok. Well I, guess I’ll be going to the store now then. |
212 kb |
| Smoking Crack | Cartman: My uncle says that smoking crack is kinda cool. | 27 kb |
| He's Doing Something | Cartman: He’s doing somethin’ to his ass, he’s not kicking his ass but he’s definitely doing something to his ass. Stan: Sparky! Bad dog! |
81.3 kb |
| Gay Dog | Cartman: Hey, speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stan’s little homo dog. Stan: Shutup dude! Sparky, where did you get that pink scarf? Sparky: Roof! Roof! Cartman: Man, that is the gayest dog I have ever seen. |
119 kb |
| Wendy's Pissed | Wendy: Mr. Ellen can I talk to you?
Ms. Ellen: Of course Wendy. Wendy: I couldn’t help but notice you taking a liking to my boyfriend Stan. Ms. Ellen: Oh! Well, I’ve taken a liking to all of you. You’re all so young and cute and full of life. Wendy: Can I tell you something Ms. Ellen? Ms. Ellen: Of course Wendy. Wendy: Don’t *beep* with me! Ms. Ellen: What? Wendy: You heard me! Stay away from my man bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry home ass back to last year! Bye Ms. Ellen! |
260 kb |
| Ask Mr. Hat | Kyle: Mr. Hat, may I please be excused from class. Mr. Hat: Well Kyle, NO! You hear me?! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! Mr. Garrison: Hmm, guess you’ll have to take your seat Kyle. Kyle: Damnit! Cartman: Ha ha! Mr. Hat yelled at you! |
144 kb |
| South Park Da Da Da - zipped | *Lyrics not available* | 1.1 mb |
| Are We Making Love? | Ms. Ellen: I’m very glad we could have dinner together Stanley. I want you to know that I really care about your education. Stan: Are we making love now? Ms. Ellen: Excuse me? Stan: They don’t have a fire place here, we shouldn’t be making love yet. Ms. Ellen: What are you talking about Stan: You have to make love down by the fire, that’s what chef always says. Ms. Ellen: Stan, I’m your teacher, okay? We’re only friends. Stan: But why? Ms. Ellen: Well, first of all, you’re eight. Stan: It’s because I’m not a lesbian isn’t it? Ms. Ellen: Oh boy! |
193 kb |
| That Does It! | Cartman: OK! That does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has envolved things either going in or coming out of my ass?! | 182 kb |
| South Park Titanic Mix - real audio | "My Heart Will Go On" with South Park inserts. | 550 kb |
| MIDI of the South Park Theme | *no lyrics* | 4.59 kb |
| Sally Strothers Commercial | Announcer: And now a word from our sponsor.
Sally Strothers: Here in the heart of Africa, children are dying. Not from disease or war but from hunger. I’m Sally Strothers. These children are in desperate need and only you can help. Stan: Man, who’s that fat chick? Kyle: Sally Strothers, dude. She used to be on Full House. Stan: Oh. Sally Strothers: You see, here in the middle of Africa, food is extremely scarce. Stan: Doesn’t look like she’s having any trouble finding food. Kyle: Yeah, she’s fatter than Cartman. Cartman: Yeah, HEY! Sally Strothers: For just five dollars a month, you can sponsor a child. Cartman: That’s stupid. Who the hell would want to do that? Sally Strothers: Sponsor now, and we’ll also send you this Tako digital sports watch as a free gift. Cartman: Kickass! Stan: Sweet Kenny: Mmm Mmm |
405 kb |
| Cartoons Kick Ass | Stan: But I just wanted you to be proud of me, like you were with Kenny. Jimbo: But Kenny’s dead now Stan and you’re always going to be my nephew and you just can’t kill anything. You understand? Kyle: Dude, I don’t understand hunting at all! Stan: Yeah, it’s stupid. Let’s go watch cartoons. Cartman: Yeah, cartoons kick ass |
373 kb |
| Drive The Car! | Ms. Cartman: I know it can get scary up in those woods. But just remember, mommy’s not far away.
Kenny, Kyle & Stan: *laughing* Cartman: Drive, drive! Ms. Cartman: You give your mommy a kissy! Cartman: Drive the car damnit, drive! |
274 kb |
| We Don't Drink Beer | Jimbo: Don’t ever walk with your gun unless safety’s on. Second, don’t shoot anything that looks human and third, never spill your beer in the bullet chamber.
Stan: Uh, uncle Jimbo, we don’t drink beer. Jimbo: You what? Ned: Oh yeah, that’s right, I don’t think eight year old kids drink beer. |
344 kb |
| Bad Starvin' Marvin | Cartman: No Starvin’ Marvin, that’s Kenny’s creamed corn. No Starvin’ Marvin, that’s a bad Starvin’ Marvin!!! | 46.9 kb |
| The McKormicks' Prayer | Mr. McKormick: Lord, on this day of thanks we would like to extend our deepest gratitude for this incredible bounty of green-beans you have bestowed upon us. And though you for some reason found it necessary to take our son from us, and though you for some reason you find pleasure in watching us suffer, still, we give thanks. Amen.
Ms. McKormick: Amen. |
169 kb |
| Howdy Ho | Mr. Hankey: Howdy ho | 30.1 kb |
| This is Wrong | Mr. Garrison: Boys, what the hell are you doing? This is horribly, horribly wrong. How did you get this child? | 42.1 kb |
| They Killed Kenny | Stan: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards! |
41.6 kb |
| They Killed Kenny 2 | Stan: Oh my god, they killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastards |
113 kb |
| She killed Kenny | Stan: Oh my god! She killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard! |
61.2 kb |
| They've Killed, Oh Never Mind | Stan: Oh my god! They've killed, oh never mind | 37 kb |
| They've Killed, God damnit! | Stan: Uh! Oh my god! They've killed... Kenny: Mmm mmm mmm. Stan: God damnit! |
30 kb |
| You...Bastards | Stan:Oh my god! They killed Kenny! Kyle: You...bastards |
29 kb |
| Evil Bitch | Stan: She thinks she's all innocent, and sweet. But, I know that she's an evil bitch.
Cartman: Be a man Stan, just say: "Hey woman! You, you shut your mouth and make babies! |
77.1 kb |
| I'd Never Let a Girl Kick My Ass | Kyle: That sucks to get your butt kicked by a girl Stan. Cartman: I would never let a girl kick my ass. If she tried anything, I’d be like, "Hey! You get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" |
116 kb |
| Hitler | Teacher: Watch the video Eric.
Video: Adolf Hitler was a very bad man... So remember kids, dressing up like Adolf Hitler in school isn't cool. Teacher: Any questions? Cartman: Can I see that again? That was cool! |
272 kb |
| Spirit of Xmas 1 | Kyle: Don't you opress me, fatboy!
Cartman: Don't call me fat buttfucker Kyle: Then don't belittle my people you fuckin' fatass! Cartman: God damnit don't call me fat, you buttfuckin' son of a bitch! |
86 kb |
| Spirit of Xmas 2 | Jesus: I come seeking retribution.
Stan: He's come to kill you cos you're jewish Kyle! Kyle: Oh fuck! I'm sorry Jesus, don't kill me! |
65 kb |
| Spirit of Xmas 3 | Cartman: Oh, God damnit you stepped on my foot you pigfucker! Stan: Dude, don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus! Cartman: Ah, fuck you! |
65 kb |
| Give Me That Cake | Cartman: Sally Strothers?
Sally Strothers: Who the hell are you? Cartman: Give me that cake! Sally Strothers: No! This is my cake! Cartman: No Sally Strothers, give me that cake! Sally Strothers: No, you can’t have any! Cartman: No Sally Strothers, that’s my cake! |
150 kb |
| Dolphins Are Stupid | Stan: What was your paper about Wendy?
Wendy: My paper was on the suffering of bottle-nose dolphins. Cartman: So you see, you shouldn’t have written a paper about dolphins, dolphins are stupid. Stan: Dude, dolphins are like the second smartest animals on the planet! Cartman: Oh, right. If they’re so damn smart, how come they caught in those fishing nets all the time? |
150 kb |
| Chopin' Off Wee Wees | Cartman: Dude, that is not cool. Chopin' off wee wees is not cool! | 80 kb |
| Fireman | Kyle: Don't you understand that us males are defined by our firemen? Cartman: Yes, the fireman is very magical. If you rub his helmet, he spits in your eyes. |
200 kb |
| Mmkay | Mr. Mackey: That is not appropriate behavior, okay. Stan: I'm sorry Mr. Mackey, mmkay. Mr. Mackey: That's okay just don't let it happen again. Kyle: We won't let it happen again Mr. Mackey, mmkay. Kids: *laughing* Mr. Mackey: Okay, okay that's fine. Cartman: Mmkay. Mr. Mackey: Okay. |
318 kb |
| Dude | Kyle: Well, I was just digging around and I was all like: "Dude, I found this triangle!" and my friends were like: "Dude!" and I was all: "Dude!" | 43.4 kb |
| Fiona Apple | Barbara Streisand Well? Barbrady: Well what? Barbara Streisand: You know who I am, don't you? Barbrady: Well ya ain't Fiona Apple, and if ya ain't Fiona Apple I don't give a rat's ass. Barbara Streisand: Ahhhhh! Barbrady: Ooh, what a bitch! |
106 kb |
| Yes It Sucks | Kyle: Wow, we're sorry you're mom's a whore dude. Cartman: Yes, it sucks |
31.8 kb | Kyle Swearing A Lot | Stan: That was beautiful dude. Kyle: Did it work? Stan: Nope, they're leaving. Kyle: Hey you scrawny ass *beep*. What the *beep* is wrong with you? You must be some kind of *beep* to be able to ignore a crying child. Stan: Whoa dude! Stan: You know what you *beep* like. You like *beep*, *beep* and *beep* and *beep* and *beep* and *beep*. Stan: Hey Wendy, what's a *beep*? |
230 kb |
| Hippie's Suck | Cartman: I know! Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you're a hippy and hippes suck. | 33.4 kb |
| Before & After | Mr. Garrison: Officer Barbrady, in school we go to the bathroom before and after class. Barbrady: Oh Christ, how to you kids do it? |
51 kb |
| Books | Kyle: Boring...boring...gay...boring...boring. Stan: Hey you guys, check out these books! |
113 kb |
| Live in Clusters | Cartman: Poor people tend to, live in clusters. Mr. McKormick: What, what did you say? Cartman: Nothing. |
36 kb |
| Come On | Kyle: Come on dumbass, you can do it | 12 kb |
| Domestic Disturbance | Cartman: Now sir, is this some kind of... Mrs. McKormick: I want him outta my house, he ain't worth the *beep*. He can't even hold a *beep* job! Mr. McKormick: Shut up bitch! Cartman: Okay, okay, let's try to watch the language, there's children present huh. Mrs. McKormick: You lazy ass mother *beep*! Mr. McKormick: Look what she did to my *beep* eye! Mrs. McKormick: I'll do it again! Kenny: *laughing* *laughing* Kenny's Brother: Mom get dad again! Cartman: Now the first thing to do in domestic disturbance calls like this one is to just calm everybody down. Respect my authority!!! |
235 kb |
| Down Quiker | Cartman:Aha! The Chicken Fucker: Ow! That hurt! Kyle: Whoa dude! Stan: Cartman! Barbrady: No, no! That's not how you uphold the law! Cartman: But he is not listening to my authority! Barbrady: Oh, oh you've got it all wrong my little friend. You do it like this: "Thug!". You gotta get him in the head, they go down quicker! | 151 kb |
| Sex With A Chicken | Barbrady: Okay people, move along, there's nothing to see here! What's the trouble, where's the body? Farmer: Barbrady, I just caught some guy in here having sex with one of my chickens Barbrady: Uh....oh. | 418 kb |
| Try it Again Dumbass | Mr. Garrison: Give it a shot Officer Barbrady. Barbrady: Uh...oh...oh Mr. Garrison: Bzzz. Wrong! Try again dumbass! |
70.5 kb |
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