QuickLink Index - Select the highlighted phrase to go directly to a specific area, if you don't want to browse the whole page.
Today's Tip
Ron Lunde's Humorscope (yes
mom, it's the American spelling)
Today's koan: If you fart during a windstorm and no one hears it, was this a good fart or a bad fart?
Bumper sticker: Excuse my driving, I'm reloading.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Today's koan: Since trains stop at trainstations, what happens at workstations?
Proper Care of Diskettes, Tip #4: Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
Tip: "When you don't have an education, you've got to use your brains" - Anonymous
Tip: More of "Words to live by" than a tip, I suppose...Overheard in an Aerosmith video: Don't give me lip, I got enough of my own
Tip: If you're all alone at night, in a house or a castle or an old mansion, and you're in a deserted area, and the lights go out unexpectedly, and the phone doesn't work, and you hear scary music starting to play .... you're in a bad horror movie, so wake up and sign on the Internet or something.
Tip: Why do people make beds on a daily basis? Wouldn't it be easier to buy a bed and keep using it? That's what we did. Stores sell bedding, which is material to put on the beds. You can also buy pillows, which are fluffy things to place under your head to get more comfortable at night. You can wash these things and put them back on the beds. Honest!
Designer Dog Breeds
Pekingese x Lhasa Apso = Peekaso, an abstract dog
Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, a dog owned by ... oh well,
it doesn't really matter
Secrets of Human Communication For years, we've been told that human speech is a function of spots within the brain. We've been told that words form within the brain and are passed by electricity to the mouth where they are vocalized. Which is hard to believe, if anyone takes the time to actually listen to the gababble that comes from the mouths of many ppl on this planet. If these words were generated within the brain, would the words not make more sense? Wouldn't ppl disagree less and make sense more often? These problematic questions have plagued thinking ppl for decades.
I simply cannot allow this fallacy to perpetuate any longer. The truth behind the process of speech is now available!
Stress Relievers
Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have other plans.
Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
And my favourite:
Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
Drop me a line!
The Humour Outside Dave Barry's page, Dilbert, Hawaiian Joke of the Day.
[This URL is http://geocities.datacellar.net/HotSprings/1527/huma.html]
Return to my home page.