JULY~~~

July 7,1999 - Something caught my attention near the end of the Morning Show on Channel 9 yesterday. I had just turned on the sound and sight box of diverse curriculum with the intention of clicking over to the Home and Garden Channel to peruse Carol Duval followed by the quilting program. Simply Quilts. Something caught my attention; perchance it was the title of the book, Mother of My Mother, by Hope Edleman.

As the discussion evolved, there were several points that caught my attention. These were things that brought back fleeting thoughts of my childhood; not a run-of-the-mill type life; definitely not "normal" by standards back then. who knows what would be considered "normal" today, considering the number of single parent or even non-parent(grandparent or foster parent?) home environments. Here I go off on a tangent again.

Back on track, several references were made to parts of the book. Gentle Giant, Aristocrat, Benevolent Manipulator, Kin Keeper. Each of them were significant to me and my past. Each brought vivid flashes of childhood back to me. However, the single thing that struck me was the statement that the first seven years are the most important and that the maternal grandmother is generally the most influential. This was not true with me.

My first three years were spent with my parents living in the house where I was born. It was a small house surrounded by homes of other relatives. Next door was my paternal great-grandparents. Across the road was my mother's oldest sister's family which included three sons, and a cousin of my mother's. During this year we moved several blocks away into the home of my paternal grandparents. Both my parents were working and much of my life was influenced by my grandparents and two uncles and AO.

AO was home each summer. She lived in a teacherage at the small country school where she taught. Yes, time was when the teachers were provided a home next to the school or they lived with a family in the community where they taught. Her greatest delight was taking over the reins of my brother and myself each summer. It was at the age of twelve that I came to live with her and my grandfather. That is a story within itself.

I was about eight when we made the move to the big house on the hill. It seemed like a long way off at the time, trudging along an unpaved path beside the dusty road that lead down a long hill and up a steep incline arriving first by the pasture where there were always at least two cows of my grandfather's, then the barn which always had the sweet smell of hay and straw with a hint of moisture, past the big black pot where lye soap was made and clothes washed. There was the shed where the ingenious new invention, a black automobile, was parked. Next was the clothesline used not only for clothes, but for hanging up the rooster or hen chosen for a tasty meal once grandmother had swiftly rung its neck.

Up the back steps, through the screen door, over the porch and there I would be in my grandmother's kitchen where she spent a lot of her time churning butter to sell, cooking for her large brood and offspring, or fixing up her special meals for Sunday Dinner. It was here in this big two-story, ten room that we spent about three years before moving on to an apartment behind our church. Then it was moving back to AO's.

The first telephone of the neighborhood was hung in the front hallway, an oddity which we children could not resist slipping over to investigate or eavesdrop when others would get a call. It was the type phone that rang in all the homes around each time a call was received. You had to count the number of rings to know if it was for you or not. No one could get a call without everyone else knowing about it, and I'm sure that there were a lot of the wrong people listening to the news.

Yes, I do remember much about my maternal grandmother, but it was after the age of seven. I came to spent a lot of time with her over the years and experienced a wealth of knowledge by observation and listening.

July 8,1999 - Write in a journal in the morning and rest assured that things will take a turn to the unusual by lunchtime. So it was yesterday. Tuesday was an afternoon of hours of thunder, lightening and wind, but no rain. It waited to blend in with the wind and lightening in the Charlotte area and put more that 25000 electric customers in the heat and dark to fend for themselves and other weather related problems. Wednesday we started having loud, rumbling thunder by mid-morning. It was mid-afternoon when the storm decided to lash out on our fair county. Reports of up to three inches of rain, and pictures on TV show a lot of red muddy waters over the road and in the creeks and rivers up around the area the road widening is taking shape.

A storm is plenty of a circumstance to capture your attention. Try having one dog outside not ready to come back in as the wind is intensifying along with the thunder and lightening; one dog in a predicament with his long hair due to poop problems from apparently being constipated. He has to be clutched tightly to keep from ruination of the recently cleaned house, and the telephone rings. The answering machine cuts up and it is my daughter. I haven't heard from her since she left for West Virginia last week and I bolt to seize the phone while she is talking to the machine.

Oreo comes rushing into the house from his excursion; I'm trying to keep a towel around Charlie. I have him halfway washed up, but have to prepare another pan of clean water before giving him a total bath. He is gripping my shoulder with all his overly protracted toenails as I lunge for the phone. I don't talk for long because the thunder and lightening are spreading much too close for comfort for using the phone. The portable one is in the other room. There is still the challenge of getting Charlie beautified and sanitized. And outdoors, the storm rages. Wednesday was the day for our county to be the center of the storm's fury.

Yesterday was supposed to be the day that Ally and I were going out to eat together. We both had no problem with postponing it until today. On the plus side, the Civic Center called to let us know that we could move our seats over to the opposite side from where we sat last season. That puts us closer to the Entrance where we park. We will be two rows closer to the stage. "Ah! The better to see you, my Dear."

For the umpteenth time I graciously called Mother's Doctor's Office. She has been in the Nursing Center for two years, this month. I canceled her secondary insurance in March, 1998, since it was not paying the Nursing Center because it was a separate establishment from the hospital where Mother was after breaking her arm and having surgery to insert a plate. When she changed from the hospital to the Nursing Home in Hickory, the insurance stopped. Since moving to the present one, I have talked to them in person at the Doctor's Office, called on the phone, and wrote messages on the bills sent to me. Yet, I get bills and more importantly, I get statements from the insurance company that they are not paying because the coverage has been canceled. Finally, I think I spoke with the right person who informed me that she would go that very instant and make the correction. I do hope that is the last of the deluge of bills and statements.

Being the day for making calls (all to doctors, no less.), there is one made to my doctor because he will be gone the week I was scheduled to go in August. That is doubly good. First, I will have Tbird's brood the week it was scheduled originally since she will be back in school. Secondly, the new appointment is in the afternoon instead of so early in the morning. The next call goes to Valdese and my Dentist. I have not rescheduled my appointment for preparing for the royal crown upon my most royal tooth. The closest opening for me is in August, early in the morning. Oh Well, I will be glad to have all that basic preparation behind me, even if it is that early in the morning.

Hickory beacons Ally and myself to have our luncheon date at Ruby Tuesday with Tbird and the children. Ally is our adopted grandma for the children and it was just a family get-together for us. NascarKid wore his new glasses and was a little disappointed that his last year's reading teacher did not seem to notice them when he went over to her table while Mom talked school with them. (Mom is down to counting the number of days until she will be leaving Giggles and be back at work with them.) Ally shared a tremendously large and delicious chocolate cake, ice cream, syrup and warm caramel sauce dessert with me. There we sat side-by-side with our two spoons attacking that monstrously large goblet of delight. I look over at DynoKid and get one of the best laughs I've had in a long time. There he stands next to his mother with two spoons in one hand, one spoon in the other and yet another one in the bowl, attempting to devour his ice cream. Even at that he only ate about half of it.

Back to Lenoir and Tbird goes along with me to carry Mother tidbits of watermelon and let her savor some time with the children. DynoKid decides he wants to sleep over. That's keen with me because it is very mute on my mound with my neighbors not there driving in and out.

July 9,1999 - Dad drops off NascarKid this morning bright and early on his way to work. He watches as I work on moving his website over to my domain. He is interested in the moving, but rather I do the hard tedious part of it. I have yet to hear anything at all from Yahoo!. I have decided that I will just go ahead and make my Journal on the new site and take the other pages of that site over to Tripod. Guess it is time for a change anyway. Dynokid sleeps till after 9:30 so Nascarkid and I have a quiet early morning together.

Tbird and I had a splendid rainbow revelation many years ago when she was in college in Indiana. She was concerned about being so far from home and not seeing the family very often. While we were driving along the long stretch of Interstate through Kentucky we saw a beautiful rainbow through the rain and sun. I commented to her that she could pretend each time she saw a rainbow that it was stretching back linking her to home. Through her years in Indiana we were sending rainbow momentos to each other as a link between us. With that thought in mind, I decided to use the rainbow theme on my new pages.

This afternoon, after who knows exactly how many phone call reminders later, O drove the boys over to the center and had them to carry in another watermelon treat for Mother. I had told her several of those times that I didn't feel up to coming over. After we got back home she began calling wanting some chocolate candy for her treat bowls for the staff there at the center. Truth be known, a lot of it is for her. She specifies Butterfingers bits, which is her treat of choice lately. That will just have to wait. I don't have the confidence in myself to go shopping by myself much for things. However, Ms. Jay returned home last night. Maybe the two of us can go the first of the week and get some things at Wally World. I need some materials for the charm squares at the Quilter's Guild.

After the children leave with Mom heading home, I work a little more on the computer before deciding to rest a little. An hour later I wake up thinking it is morning. That doesn't sound like a bad thing to most people, but for me it is as if I am ready to start the day. I've learned that it is not a good idea for me to go to bed before midnight or so. It makes for a shorter night. Now, I have the whole night to look forward to. Guess I can read the third book that Cotton left here for me on her last visit. I will not go back to the computer tonight, there has to be a controlling point for me to not over do this webpage mess. I shall just be patient and not expect to try to solve problems in my own little world on the web at one time. Self control will prevail. At least, I hope!

Good thing that I did rouse up. My brother calls asking if I've heard the latest gossip? "No, I haven't heard anything from anybody." Well, he continues to fill me in on the happenings of the past little while. Mother's sister that has been coming up to see her every Wednesday morning - the same one that had the car wrecks recently - has had another accident. This time it was not a car. She was at Bojangle's in Hickory with their other two sisters this morning when she started to turn around for some reason and fell. She landed on her elbow causing it to break. Now she is scheduled to have surgery in the morning to put a pin in her elbow. We decided to not tell Mother until tomorrow, perhaps after the surgery is over.

BJ's wife is a sister to the wife of the son of my aunt that broke her shoulder. He found out through the two sisters talking together. I found out also, that during that bad storm that passed through here, he had a little bad luck himself. BJ has two houses presently for sale in his housing development project. One of the families that are already living there called to tell him that lightening had struck one of the new houses that are now on the market. He was fortunate that even though it made a hole in the roof and blackened the area around it, that there was no fire and the other damage was repairable.. His builder was able to come in and replace some of the plywood and repair the damage. And so goes another typical week in my life…. Wonder what day seven can bring - or should I even wonder!

July 10,1999 - Reading was not an option to carry me through the night. Concentration was the problem there. Plus, my eyes have been bothering me more lately with being able to read the print. Working the puzzles each day has been more of a challenge making out the numbers that correspond with the clues. I played with the tinnitus in my ears for part of the night. Certain movements of my neck can produce different sounds, and when I'm tired it is always much louder. I have a repertoire of music on CDs, but opt not to bother with any. Prayer, meditating, relaxation and wondering gets me through the night even though I thought it must be morning up and rise time at 3 am.

I have a plan of action for this morning. I would like to go to the hospital and check on my aunt and spend a little time with her, but the parking and walking makes it an unwise choice for me to attempt by myself. I'll have to depend on the telephone to stay in touch. I can't help but wonder how things will work out for her. She lives in a senior citizen apartment development by herself. It will not be possible for her to care for herself as long as her arm is broken, and then there is the rehab to follow once she can use it again. I'll attempt to go in to a store and get Mother some candy that she so badly wants and maybe stop by and pick up a biscuit and some real coffee to take along as I go to spend some time with her. I'll stay with her until at least we hear something from the hospital. It all ready sounds like a busy day developing.

My brother and my son both have a birthday on Monday. Next Sunday is a bridal shower for my niece in Hickory. The following weekend is her wedding. Tbird will be going to New Jersey to visit with cotton before she heads back into the teaching world in August. I'll have to make some sort of arrangements for getting Mother to and from the wedding so I will not get to make the New Jersey trip. Perhaps I'll get up there sometime this fall. I'd druther not have to be in charge of having to make plans for anything if I could be master of my druthers.

I learn about mid-morning that my aunt had surgery yesterday! In fact she was dismissed from the hospital early this morning heavy cast in tow pulling her sideways. That is another story in itself. Apparently Mother has her phone turned off again. With her Parkinson's she does it without knowing it is her doing it. She is always saying that the phone is acting up or something has happened to it. I decided to wait until afternoon to go over and maybe by then there will be more to tell her.

July 11,1999 - A second night of internal turmoil and a silent screaming of "Foul Play!" An agony of discomfort brought on by a moment of disillusion of weakness and desire. There sits the Guardian Angel with a slightly tarnished halo slipped over one eye feeling the defeat of the moment. There is the sly imp happily jumping and laughing on the opposite side gloating, "So what if it caused a little discomfort? It was worth every tiny morsel, and I'd do it again if I get the chance." No, a person does not have a clear cut yes or no to decisions made from day to day. There is always that gray area, a vast waste land of "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts". Wonder if anyone ever keeps tabs to see which side wins out the most often?

While choosing the candies for Mother to fill her cache for the staff and herself, there it was on sale. A bag of Bridge Mix! All the assortment of goodies dipped in chocolate and it is a name brand I recognize as one of the best in the business. I can immediately begin to savor the nuts, creams and raisins drenched in chocolate. I must have it. I do have it. By the time I get home I am too tired to carry in the groceries from the back of the car, however, the candy does get in through the back door. There it lays on the kitchen cabinet unopened until bedtime.

I know better. Yet, it is as if I have been put into some sort of hypnotic trance. I open the bag and begin to savor bits of different flavors and textures. Alas, it was an act that ended up causing a night of sheer torture filled with twisting and turning with pain. Some wheezing was thrown in for good measure just to make certain that I got the message back from my body to my not-so-brilliant-decision-of-the-mind No way could it be eased or sated and by morning the hardness and soreness of the knot left in the pit of my stomach is promising to be a non-to-gentle reminder that I should not be doing such things to my body. Am I just going to live; or will I learn to live and learn! I shall just start having visions of little green and purple worms crawling through bags of candy and such whenever I see a bag or bar of chocolate.

On a brighter note, while I was in Wal-Mart all by my lone self, I moseyed on back to the utmost back right corner of the store to search for a replacement for Oreo's favorite toy. He adopted a soft squeezy purple alligator with an open pink mouth filled with white teeth and eyes bulging as his once he settled into my family. This week it developed a hole in its back, a sure sign that it will not last much longer. Luckily, there in the back of the row was a replacement for him. Of course, all the other toys had to be taken off before reaching the one for him. Of course, while holding all those different shapes and colors I have to make the decision to keep more than the one. These are smaller lighter weight toys for puppies which work better for my smaller dogs and are usually hard to come by. Of course, another soft toy made of different colors of bright materials and just the right size for Charlie catch my eye and just happened to end up in the shopping cart as well. After all we can't buy something for one without getting something for the other.

From there I am off to the opposite utmost furthest away left-hand corner of the store to pick up two pieces of material for my next Quilter's meeting. I have to have charm squares for last month as well as this one. From there, I just happen to find a few pieces of clothing for me that are on sale. You can't pass up a good deal when it is your size and color. Then I choose some birthday cards for BJ and Wes before heading off to stop at the drive through to pick up my medicine I called in on Friday and then stop at the grocery store before seeing Mother. And that's why my groceries are still in the back of my car today.

Mother's telephone has been out since Friday evening. Wes said he would try to get it fixed for her today. It probably needs a new battery. If he doesn't make it before long I will just take my cordless phone over to her until we get her's fixed. Other than that I have no plans to do anything else today. Well, I may do my leg lifts this afternoon. The five second lifts which the doctor ordered do not really do very much for me. I have done isometric lifts for so long now that I find it better to keep my leg up and straight with toes pointed up to the count of 50 instead. It is a sort of habit that I do much of the time without even thinking. I just have to make sure with my injured knee to have the toes pointed up. The foot has a way of wanting to fall to the right while I hold it up. Strange, but when I do the exercises with my right leg, the left one, even though it is not up and out will tighten along with the right one. It is like when I was working my way out of the results of the stroke, doing both sides together was easier that doing the stroke side by itself. The right just seems to be responding to the movements of the left.

All-in-all we could not have planned things any better; my brother and me. I planned to take his cards and present for his birthday tomorrow over to Mother in the hope that he would be by today and pick them up. Bad news was that he had come earlier and left. Good news was that he had only gone to get the battery in the phone changed and that he would be returning. We got to all visit together, BJ, his wife, Mother and me. From there I drove home to spend the afternoon resting up from the not-so-ordinary run-of-the-mill night. Surely tonight will be better.

July 12,1999 - Alert! It didn't take too long for the message to get to me that the new batteries in the phone failed to make it useable . Wes has been summoned to go buy a new cordless and deliver it to the center. I feel bad that when I got the call that my phone cord was twisted and tangled around itself and when I turned around the base fell to the floor disconnecting the phone. By now that place must think that I live in a loony-land of disorder and chaos. Of course I do, but that doesn't mean I have to advertise my inability to create order where ever I roam.

As the ball bounces around in random order, so bounced the equipment Mother uses. Her television changer decided that it was time for it to act up and stop doing its magic changing the screen from channel to channel. Batteries didn't fix it either. It is a little harder to replace. Because she has a combination video/TV, the universal changers do not work. I have to search around for the phone number to call and order a new one. She has good reason to get out of bed now. The staff is too busy to come and change the channels for her off and on all day.

Hum! Did I mention I have two new additions visiting here for awhile? When I drove in Saturday afternoon their whines and baying greeted me from the wire pen close to Elsie Dawg's abode. Ruby and Diamond are getting new homes. The neighbor's dogs near where Tbird lives have jumped on them a time or two when they were allowed to run. Oh, I know, you have nearly 40 acres, and still have no room for your dogs to be safe. The small beagles just are not defenders, they choose solely to hunt and follow the scent! So now out on the farm is a puppy that will grown into a 50 to 60 pound adult that can defend itself and protect its masters. It is a real sweetie but will need a lot of gentle handling and guidance to keep it as good natured as it is now. It is part chow and mostly rottrieler.

Allan is going to take the beagles down to the coast where they will have room to roam and he will use them when he goes down for deer season. His friend there has a large building where they will be housed and cared for. Charlie did not mind in the least to let me know that they are here. Each time they bark, he barks, which makes them stop. Elsie is enjoying the company and tries to play with them.
I got my groceries carried in this morning. While Allan was out getting the bags together, Ms. Jay came out to see him about when he mowed her yard while she was gone. She helped carry in some bags as well. The green bananas I had to choose from were too green to eat even yet. I forgot that I had a cantaloupe in goodies purchased Saturday. From the car, Allan checked the garden that my friends are tending here. they are off and traveling for a while and asked that we keep things picked. He took home all the zucchini and some yellow squash, yellow tomatoes, some bell peppers, leaving me squash, other tomatoes and cucumber.

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