Nature Songs ~~~~
FEBRUARY, 2001
“Come to me looking as you did 50 years ago
arms outstretched and I will be waiting
virgin again in white that changes
to splashes of roses as we lie together
Come to me smiling again with your mortar
and pestle and vitamin pills because I am given
to colds and coughs that wrack us both
Oh come to me again and I will be there
waiting with withered hands and gnarled fingers
that leave their marks of passion on your back.”
~~Sue Saniel Elkind, founder of Squirrel Hill Poetry Workshop
February 1, 2001 - The first month of the new year has mysteriously flown the coop exactly like the months of the past year. One has to wonder how a month can slip by in such a manner. Seems I can remember as a child that time had a way of standing still, holding off those golden days ahead I so anticipated. Not so any more.
This month is actually beginning the first day at 3:30 a.m. Who can say for sure why time becomes so topsy-turvy for me here in my own little world. The word schedule takes on a whole new meaning. Maybe, it would be more accurate to say that the word schedule has taken leave and spontaneous has moved in to take its place.
Weird things happen anymore. One needs to take care at all times, even in one’s own home. Past President Carter was telling in one of his interviews recently as he promotes his new book that is out how hobos knew to come ask for food at his house. A special mark had been made on their mailbox letting hobos know that the family would give them food. When they were in town, they passed by the houses to which they were unwelcome and would stop at his house knowing his mother would feed them. Today one cannot be as trusting toward people coming to your home. Chances are things are not as they may seem at the moment.
This was brought to light right here in my own community this week. Ms. Jay was telling me about a man that stopped at her house Tuesday shortly after five p.m., asking for money. She wondered if he had been to my house. He told her that he was on his way home from work and had to get his child from daycare. He had left his wallet at home that morning and needed $15 to pay the daycare before he could pick up his child. She told him she didn’t think she had that much money at home. Checking for change around the house she came up with some money, but he had left by the time she came back to the door. Some day care centers require you to pay the worker that may have to stay late when you are not on time. However, most day cares close at 5:30 or six. This man could have picked up a child within that time limit.
During the workout at Quest Wednesday morning, I learned that another neighbor had a similar thing to happen Monday evening, only later. Comparing descriptions with her it sounded like the very same person. He was asking for $20 from her around nine p.m. He had left his wallet at home and needed the money to pick up a pizza on this occasion. It makes us wonder how many more doors he may have knocked on and how much money he may have collected from unsuspecting persons. It is a situation that needs to be brought to the attention of other neighbors. Apparently, this is not a man needing money for the reasons he states.
I should make a trip to Hickory today in search of the inserts needed for my shoes. The two drugstores that carry that type of equipment did not have my size in them. One of the stores had a cushioning which I bought for $17 to use until I can find the heavier made type recommended. I learned it will take a week to order what I need. I’m supposed to return to the doctor in two weeks to see how they are working to reduce the inflammation and pressure. I could call around to see who may have them in stock, and make the search easier.
Charlie needs his rabies shot this month along with his booster shots. Oreo was supposed to have booster shots last month and I decided to put off taking him until this month and have the records for the same time with the two dogs. I’m thinking of trying to take both of them at the same time but it would be easier if one of my grandsons would go along with me.
** 11:45 p.m.: Thursday late night has slipped up on me. The day has been a bit different since I got up this morning. Something really was mixed up at Q4L! Our class failed to have an instructor for the seventeen of us that appeared. We sort of grouped off in threes and fours and worked at our own speeds for the hour. Everyone was active. As it turned out, there was a camaraderie among us and a productive participation.
The rest of my day has been spent at home. Stress brings on whatever happens when things don’t go as one hopes it will. The Fibromyalgia seems to have kicked into high gear and brings with it a high pain level along with the tiredness. Two arthritic cysts have popped out on my hands. The left index finger sports a painful swelling just above the main joint and there is another place just about dead center in the palm of my right hand which hurts no matter what I do - including typing. In the past I’ve ended up having to have injections to clear up such places. This is the first one I’ve ever had in the palm of my hand.
Wearing the temporary inserts in my shoes has caused some problems. My knees are not taking kindly to having to alter the way I have walked before the inserts. That along with the burning sensation left from the exercises I did yesterday make for a day of moving slowly. I found a place online where I ordered the inserts I need. They were on sale; no taxes; no shipping charges; shipped within hours of when ordered, and will be here in a day or two. The local drugstore said it would be a week until they would have them available for me.
Charlie and Oreo are having to adjust to me wearing shoes at home. Up until today, they have taken my putting on shoes as a sign that I am preparing to leave the house. They gang up on me and begin barking, running wildly and making life a bit miserable for me as they oppose my leaving them alone. My shoes have stayed on today and every time I set foot on the floor to do something, they jump into action! Now they seem to enjoy the ritual that ensues each time, but it leaves much for me to desire. We have some work ahead to change things on this ritual.
I didn’t go out of the house today once I got home from Quest. I’ve rested most of the day with hopes of overcoming this deep depression of pain and tiredness. Oh, the psoriasis is trying to show itself. How could it stand to be left out of the activity!
February 2, 2001 -
Prain, prain go away,
don’t come back!
You don’t know how to play.
You slip into the joints too often
the pain holds on and will not soften.
Go away prain
Away like the rain
Don’t come back again.
Things are to do done. I could have said, “NO!” to the requests, but then again, the word “no” slips from my memory when I most need it. There are those that don’t understand the difficulty of having to move about. They tend to forget there may be a problem when they want something done for themselves. Life and people are like that. Memories have a way of weeding out the unwanted memories that may interfere with personal plans. Understanding of others is often times the furthermost away from the personal needs of others.
There is also the desire to want to at least give the appearance of being like others. It is not easy to admit that I can’t or shouldn’t be doing some things. ON that preface I commit myself to carry out deeds to help others. Today that means taking the three county roundabout this afternoon. NascarKid needs a ride from school to Hickory for his guitar lesson. Mom is going to be tied up with helping the Kindergarten classes on their field trip to the Circus in Charlotte, so I’ll also have DynoKid with me this afternoon. Hopefully, someone will be at home when I drive them back home after the lesson. I would like to keep any walking down to a minimum.
I agreed to help Tbird out by calling her brothers to set up a time to get together this weekend and celebrate Giggles second birthday. Two years have flown by so fast and now Giggles is more little girl than baby. All too soon she will be in school. The wings of time flutter much too fast and there is no way to slow them down.
I must walk in to visit with Mother this afternoon since I missed seeing her yesterday. She gets lonely when there are no visitors. Seems lately, I am her only visitor. BJ has not been able to come in to see her. With his broken thumb he is having problems using his walker. He found out that his thumb broke in five places when he slipped in the bathroom and caught himself with his hand. The grandchildren all seem to be busy in their own lives and don’t have time to visit with her. Her sister has been sick and unable to come by very much since Christmas. I was going to try and play Bingo with her this afternoon, but since I’m making the trip with the boys, I won’t be able to play Bingo. I’d rather just stay home, but ....
The jaunt has been taken there and back again. Little Miss Giggles required me to sit awhile and enjoy a book with her as we turned the pages through it at least ten times and maybe more. I would start to leave and she would shake her head vehemently, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Once she caught my sweater in her teeth and held on while she giggled and shook her head back and forth. No, surely, I have not spoiled her any. I left her nibbling on some food while her Mother held her.
My swollen right knee was happy to get home and rest a spell. I’m wondering what if anything I may do about it. I made it through the day with my shoes on. The one time I stretched out on the bed, I even left them on so I would not be tempted to walk around with no shoes.
February 3, 2001 - First on my agenda today was to dial up the Ticketmaster online. The tickets for The Billy Joel and Elton John Concert in Charlotte went on sell at 9 a.m. I have enjoyed Billy Joel music for years. In fact, I got my first touch of tinnitus from a concert of his in Greensboro back about 1980 and the music was so loud it vibrated the concrete. Of course, today everything was tied up with everybody trying to get tickets. I noticed the handicapped sign at the bottom and clicked it. Voila! I did not have to wait any longer. I was notified that my order was accepted and they would call me later to verify and finish up the payment routine. My order probably would have been done on line, but I wrote a comment that I cannot do steps. Because of the comment, it was referred to one of the agents on the phone who will call me. Guess I could use the good old handy wheelchair, but it is not my method of transportation I most like to have to rely on. Tbird will be going with me and she had already laid down the law that I will take the cane.
This evening everyone is congregating here in honor of Giggles second birthday. Plans as of now call for a big pot of spaghetti and a salad for the grownups. Since Giggles is allergic to wheat, she will have rice crispy treats for dessert. Guess we will cook some rice for her to eat with her sauce because she is one that loves to eat what others have. I have corn dogs frozen which the boys will probably want for their meal. Little planning and preparation will be done on my part. I only hope they will do the dishes before they leave. Lady only Wednesday got all of them washed up for me.
Mother was unhappy with my not staying with her for Bingo yesterday. I’ll have to leave shortly and spend a little more time with her today. There are two parakeets in the living room on her hall. I’ve been encouraging her to spend some time with them and see if she can teach them to say any words. So far, she doesn’t stay for very long, but maybe if I make a point of taking her in to see them every time I go visiting she will take more interest. One of the CNA’s could roll her in there each day to work with the parakeets for an hour or so and it would be a good change for Mother. The Activity Director may be able to do that easier since Mother really likes her a lot.
We shall see how the day progresses, what with the birthday party, Mother’s visit, waiting for the confirmation call for the concert, and how my knee decides to do. The knee has a constant dull hurting throb along the outer side which radiates down the leg with a white hot heat sort of pain. And here I thought all knee pain was behind me forevermore. That shows how little a person can really know about the future.
©2001 by Stormy Jeanne
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