Nature Songs ~~~~

NOVEMBER, 2001

"If you really want to take a good look at your life
try writing your own ideal obituary.
Write about everything that you would like to be doing in your life.
Write about the person you would like to be.
Write about what you have done for other people and for the world.
Then when you have finished writing
what you would like yourself and your life to be like go out and do it.
You will be surprised at how much you can
change your life to goodness and joy if you do."
~~Joseph J. Mazzella

November 1, 2001 - Choosing to skip exercise today and give my muscle a chance to rest and heal meant I could stay in bed. But, most of the day? That’s what I ended up doing. I felt so bad anyway. Seems that anytime something bothers me the least little bit, the Fibro has a way of showing it’s ugly side just to remind me that it is in control. Today was no different. Anytime I moved, it was painful, tiring and hard to do. The psoriasis had to pop out with a few blisters to add to the commotion going on from within. Why not? The more the merrier - but in this case - just the opposite.

I had to drag myself out later this afternoon to pick up my medicines that I was running out of. It’s the same three prescriptions that have been a problem with getting on time ever since the drugstore began filling all of them and calling when they are ready. Why these three are a problem is a mystery since all seems to be right with them since the telephone number was corrected ... I stopped by to see Mother for a short time while I was out.

I did have another important stop to make. Lady had a birthday Friday past and I wanted to get her a little something. There is a small shop close to the license tag place that makes up really superb baskets on request. I chose some fragrances of purple and gold and a small container of cracked glass in a golden stand which they fixed up so beautifully for me with clear cellophane and long strings of ribbons and a bow. The package was a gift in itself.

Tbird called needing my help for a short time. I picked up the children at the church since she had a counseling session scheduled with someone there. When Lady came to spin her magic, NascarKid took no time to give her the present which delighted her indeed.

November 2, 2001 - Can’t say that today is much better than yesterday was. I skipped working out again since the arm is even yet swollen, hot and bothering me when I move around much. There are more blisters to pester, as well. But.... there are things I will have to get done today. One thing about living along ... there is no one to get things done unless you do them yourself. This was not a day I wished to do for myself, or for others.

I spent nearly three hours catching up on emails this morning and 90% of that was deleting unsolicited items before checking the mail itself. I took time to send part of the emails to the abuse site to see if they can get rid of it for good. Some was not fit to be allowed and certainly not designed for moi!!!!

Again, it was late by the time I got to Mother’s. She had about given up on me coming at all. The bank was backed up with three lines opened. Seems that the grocery store took me longer than I expected for what little I bought. I opted to go in at Arby’s to get some supper and use a coupon. I thought it would be faster, but turns out that it took longer. For some reason, it took forever to get waited on and there was only one customer ahead. I stopped to get my nails filled in and there was another wait. The man that did my nails was new. Last time he was allowed to put the polish on my nails. This time he did every thing but fill in with the brush and stuff. A lady was there getting her feet done and we got to talking about knees. She needs to have both of hers replaced and had lots of questions to ask. I’d seen her before and turns out that she has worked out in the water a time or two with us.

A message was on the phone when I got home - BingoKid wants to come over for the night. Wes calls back to see if he can come over. Wes and Wendy have to be in Marion in the morning for a funeral and it would help them if BingoKid stays for the night. He is no problem, so I have them bring him on over. He spends his time at the computer.

November 3, 2001 - My wish is to just stay in bed and do nothing. My better sense tells me I have to move about and busy myself with something. I read a book last night, Karen Kingsbury’s A Time to Dance. It was an easy book to read. Tbird gave it to me for my birthday. She bought it the weekend that Cotton was in Charlotte. It was the same weekend that Women of Faith had a conference in Charlotte and Tbird had attended it. This was the topic of the conference and she thought that I would enjoy the book. It was a good read, but it was written for and about couples. I am only half of a couple so it was a difficult storyline for me and caused a lot of memories and wishes for what can never be. I will never see a long-lasting marriage. There is no one for me to share the future with. There was no second chance for my marriage. Death is so final.

In fact, it got me to thinking about the many times I am alone. When there is a need to talk or discuss, there is no one to share with. It dawned on me, that in a sense, I have used my journal for discussing and sharing. It’s a way for speaking my mind and in some cases my peace. Of course, there are things that could be said and felt more easily if there was a two-way discussion going on. Many times there is a desire for interaction or advice, but it goes unheeded. Puppies are loving and need attention, but they still lack in many ways when it comes to companionship.

Mother was in bed all day. Someone had brought her two baskets today. One was full of fruits - even strawberries. The other one had a small loaf of banana bread and some apple butter. She was sort of confused and didn’t know she had two baskets at one point and changed her story of how she got them several times. I felt that maybe she is getting another kidney infection or something. She just wasn’t herself and was rambling too much and not remembering even what I told her a few minutes earlier. Maybe tomorrow she will be better. I haven’t told her that Allan is renewing his wedding vows tomorrow. I just don’t feel like having to deal with her repeating and all about it. I can’t take her there and there is no one that would be able to take her to it. It is a small private ceremony as well.

2 am and I have found My Fair Lady on TV. I’m engrossed in it and am most surprised at how well the troupe that performed for us the other week was so near to the exactly acting of the film. It was truly an Off-Broadway performance provided for us here in our small Southern town. I shall watch it all since I will not go to church early. I’ll wait and ride down to the church in Newton with Wes and his family later in the morning. The wedding ceremony is set for 12:45.

I think that I shall give them this book, “A Time to Dance” to share with each other. It should be a wonderful resource book for them. It is written more for them and their future together.

November 4, 2001 - Already, the night is nearly over at 5:50 am and I have been awake through the whole time. After one movie was over I watched the next one with Elvis Presley starring as a doctor working in the slums of the big city who falls in love with a nun. He doesn’t know that she is a nun at the beginning, but that is all part of the story.

I should be getting a good night’s sleep and be in great condition for taking part in the events of the day with the family. That was not to be. Maybe I will be able to put a coat or two of clear coat over my labors of yesterday. Knowing that it will be turning cold all too soon, I had to get the coat of green paint that DynoKid picked out sprayed on the rocker I bought a while back for the little ones. Yesterday was the day I finally got it done. No where in the house could I locate any of my sandpaper. I use it with some quilting projects and with the art supplies, but it was not to be found. However, a piece of the rubbery stuff that is used for shelf liner did what I needed done on the painted surface after it dried for a while. I was surprised how well the rocker rubbed down with the rubber to a smoother surface. While the chair was outside tiny spiders had strings of web strung all over. They must have been blowing in the winds.

After bringing in the chair I took time to cut out and place some rub ons around over the chair. Now it is adorned with flowers, butterflies and a few insects. The updated rub-ons are so much easier to apply than those of yesteryear. I was pleasantly surprised how quickly I decorated the arms, legs, back and seat of the green chair. After all the pictures were in place, I used a gold marker and added more decorations around over the rocker. Hopefully, everyone will enjoy it.

(o; A DAY TO ALWAYS REMEMBER ;o)
Driving his family down to Newton along with me in my new mode of transportation, Wes made his second offer to drive me to New Jersey to visit Cotton any time I’m ready. He and Allan are very happy with my decision of trading in the older Explorer which was a bit hard to steer at times. Oh, all right - Always hard to steer since it pulled to the right.

Pulling into the parking lot of the church none of us knew just how special this day was turning out to be. Allan and his family had come for the church services that morning. Tbird and her family had already arrived before us. They had attended their church before coming on to this one. Allan’s Mother-in-law and the others had not arrived yet. There we were getting great big hugs of welcome from our friend the pastor as he said good-byes to his congregation. It was so good being welcomed in by all my friends from past years. Some of them hadn’t seen me since I’ve been working out in the water. They were pleased at how well I looked and it felt so good to me being with them again.

Strangely, I feel more welcomed here than at my own church, but on the other hand, these are some of the same people that used to go to my own church and I’ve known them twenty years or more. The pastor and his family have spent time here at home on occasions and they are even yet best of friends with Tbird’s family.

None of us had any idea of just how special the events about to happen would be. Buddy Boy was all smiles as he told us his Mommie and Daddy were “getting married up.” There had been a wedding reception there at the church the night before and all the decorations were left in place for today. The scene was more romantic then the first exchanging of vows six years ago in the little country church in the mountain valley of Caldwell County. The ornate arch was draped with fluffs of white netting, flowers and greenery with tiny white light blinking slowly in a random pattern. Candles and other flowers and greenery completed the portrait awaiting our presence.

This turned out to be a Buddy Boy Day in one respect. He is by nature a high maintenance child and most mobile. He was supposedly going to stand through the short ceremony along with his soon to adopt parents. It was apparent when the first picture was taken at the first of the ceremony that that was not to be. He turned around and looked at his aunt taking the picture and said, “Don’t do that!” Apparently he didn’t want things to interrupt what was taking place. Before long he was moving around. We all knew that as long as he was quiet and not getting hurt or hurting anything it was best to leave him alone. Otherwise .... well ... we knew ... we only watched him out of one eye as he moved about. At one point he interjected, “I love you,” into the service, and remained close at all times.

When Tbird sang a song at the end of exchanging vows anew as well as their rings, Buddy Boy knew it was a cue for him to come stand between his parents as they stood facing each other and holding hands. His smiles were no larger than those of his parents standing there with his holding onto their hands - and his moving about as well.

\Forming a circle as the pastor held hands along with the family and offered a prayer for them, Buddy Boy was again very quiet until near the end of the prayer. Then he had his own message to convey to one and all. He began singing in a strong childish tune, “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family!” His message, smile and demure told us all the special-ness of this moment. Our couple now finished with renewing their marriage vows, the piano strings issued the Barney Song of Love which Buddy Boy had sung for us before slipping into the traditional recessional wedding tune of old. Such a special ceremony of renewed love and devotion with many pictures taken, but not a one of use had thought about bringing along a video camera to record those special movements and sounds of a three year old child celebrating the rejoining of his much loved parents. His happiness spoke for one and all.

There we were a convoy of Ford vehicles, a shiny new Chevy truck and Nissan Sport Van working our way up I40 to the tiny town of Drexel for a catered lunch together. Delicious food, happy thoughts and talk, seventeen adults and children spent part of the afternoon celebrating the rebirth of a marriage. I presented them the book which I had been reading, Come, Dance With Me. May their lives grown closer with the advancing years. Prayerfully, on November 9th, they will receive news that all is in place and the actual adoption of our precious Buddy Boy will officially be put in action on paper. Then all will be complete - a family of love.

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