- - Family - Coping "Perhaps the most important feature of these [MS] families is that the members talk openly with one another and respect each otherŐs feelings and wishes " (Minden). This is hardly true for many families. "Some families stay in a state of chronic unhappiness, frustration and loneliness" (Minden). When people become angry and frustrated, they may have a tendency to lash out physically. Those with MS who must depend on others are very vulnerable. "Some have been victims of neglect, physical attack, and sexual abuse" (Minden). And, those with MS may also become verbally or physically abusive to others. The inability to care for a person with MS appropriately does not necessarily mean a caregiver is "bad", but there are serious problems that need to be corrected. It is natural to feel angry about the changes MS has placed on a family. Anger should be expected with MS, and it shouldnŐt be hidden or denied. "Angry criticism or lack of interest in others easily provokes hurt or anger among family members" (Minden). It is important to remember to aim the anger at the disease and not the person with the disease. Families are a very important support structure for a person with MS. As the National Multiple Sclerosis Society writes, "[a] ... supportive family and friends may help a person shake off a mild depression ..." (NMSS). For those with MS, "...home should be a safe, [and] comfortable place ... Comfort has a direct effect on [people] physically, emotionally, and socially" (Harmon). "Perceived supportiveness of interactions was directly related to purpose-in-life but not to depression, meaning that those persons with MS who participated in supportive interactions had more of a sense of purpose to their lives while at the same time experiencing less depression" (Miller). The family is a foundation for people with MS to attack the disease and cope with the world around them.

December 9, 1998