Canadian Security and Intellience Service

Subject Name: Raymond Y. Chow

Birthdate: August 18, 1975 (Zodiac sign is Leo, and born under the Year of the Rabbit.)

Aliases: Corn Flakes, Flocons De Mais, "Chow," Death-Ray, Ravener, Dogbert, & Mohammed Jafar

Education: Subject is currently suffering through his 4th year at the University of Toronto taking Microbiology.

Mental state: He is a few raisins short of the full two scoops. He often states: "It doesn't matter what strangers think, or what my friends already know!"

Strengths: Ability to drink liquids at inhuman speeds; can catalyze disasters; freak ability to write with his left hand

Weaknesses: Distracted by cute asian girls; an intense fear of calculus; unexplainable obsession with cereal

Known Accomplices: CLICK HERE to view a picture of his "so-called friends." (Homage to Buzz Beamer's Homepage)

Character Profile:

There is an extensive surveillence team tracking this subject 24 hours a day. Subject likes to play 8-Ball at the Rivoli pool hall, street-hockey in tennis courts, tennis in a hockey rinks, and being subjected to Retro music at deafening volumes at the Phoenix Concert Theatre on Fridays. His last song request there was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles. He has been declared a threat to national security ever since he started tearing the white tags off mattresses, squeezing toothpaste from the top of the tube, and failing to recycle soft drink cans. Intelligence suspects that the large purchases of breakfast cereals, made by the subject in the last 10 years, is part of a worldwide drug trafficking ring. Although no conclusive evidence to this end has been gathered, observations during his chemistry laboratories show that he is also capable of creating explosives out of common chemicals. Our agency has grown increasingly concerned about Raymond Y. Chow ever since "The Incident" at the CNE air show.

© 1997 ray.chow@utoronto.ca