1. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
A bit of Fry and Laurie
2. A Freudian slip is when yu say one thing but mean your mother.
3. The hypothalamus is one of the most imprtant parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hyppothalamus controls the four F's" 1. fighting, 2. fleeing, 3. feeding, and 4. mating.
Psychology progessor in neuropsychology intro course
4. What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
5. Slogan of 105.9, the classic rock radion station in Chicago: "Of all the radio stations in Chicago...We're one of them."
6. With every passing hour our solar system come forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no such thing as progress.
Ransom K. Ferm
7. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
8. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the crrect screw.
9. The graduate with a Science defree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degee asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate wit ha Liberal Arts degree asks, "do you want fries with that?" The Graduate with a French major asks, "Voulez vous des fretes avec ca?"
10. "Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
Dave Barry
11. "I am not a veretarian because I love animals; I am a veretarian because I hate plants."
A. Whitney Brown
12. "A great many poeple think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James
13. "Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway."
Andrew Tannenbaum
14. "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it-and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and this is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
Mark Twain
15. "There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
16. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base."
Dave Barr
17. "I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers--and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls."
Editor of the Limerick Times (Limerick, Ireland)
18. "When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl."
19. "Laxlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats---approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less."
20. "668: The neighbor of the Beast"
21. "Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
Emo Phillips
22. "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."
23. "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again."
F. P. Jones
24. "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
25. "As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not imortant that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so."
Hunter S. Thompson's Samoan Attorney
26. "When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'"
Quentin Crisp
27. Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
28. "I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But, I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!"
Monty Python
29. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."
George Carlin
30. "Sorry, but my karma just ran over you godma."
