Sent from: Determined (male, 24):
Do the same philosophy apply in different LDR's? What i mean is that do you apply the same philosphy for State to Stae relationships and Country to Country relationships? Would meeting less (country to country) affect the relationship? I've read the advice you've given to other couples and i couldn't agree more with you. It is so important to have communication and it is so important for couples to send pictures or write slow mail to each other. Its the little things that keep the flame alive. If one of the couple is not strong enough, is there anything one can do to strengthen her faith in the relationship?
Determined,
I can't really answer your question about meeting less often. The reason I cant is because I really dont know, and I dont want to give you any false advice. But, if I had to guess, then, yes, i think it would affect the relationship. However, it can affect it both positively and negatively.
The negative affects would be that it would probably put a lot more strain on the relationship because you would go longer amounts of time without being with each other. That could make you lose the flame and start having doubts about the relationship. It also means your phone bills will probably be outrageous and whatnot *smile*
The positive affects would be that it is more rewarding once you get to see each other again. Also, you learn to communicate more efficiently and you communicate through words more often than you would through touch and spending time together. So, in other words, your bond might become stronger because of each others absence.
If your SO isnt confident in the relationship, but DOES want it to work out, then just help her see how much you really do love her and want to be with her in the end. Your love and willing ways to help her survive the time in between now and when you finally get to be together will most definitely show her how much you are committed to the relationship. But, dont try too hard.. sometimes, people just need to end things that are giving them more grief than happiness.. I'm sure you know what I mean.
There were a lot of times when I didnt think that James and I were going to make it through the three years that we have managed to survive. It all comes down to committment and how hard you are willing to try to work at it. Yes, it seems like a long and endless winding road.. but once you overcome it.. and are finally at the house at the end of the road.. you'll live a happier life.. and you'll live it together - in that very house you took so long to get to. *smile*
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope things work out for you. Really, im not just saying that. I mean it whole-heartedly.
Much love,
Marnie
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Last Updated: March 14, 1999
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