I went through the psychological process that many women go through.
I learned a lot, if I can help anyone go through it more smoothly I will be glad to help.

I did it on my own, some small steps, some large, and if I can do it anyone can.

Most importantly... we cannot, ever make any woman feel bad for being in that situation or for going back, It is a process, and it is a process in which we should support and empower women no matter what they decide.

They are brought down enough by their abusers without anyone else acting as if something is wrong with them, as if it is their fault...

Blame the abusers, NOT the victims.

Never say to a woman, why do they take it, why do they stay, or why did they go back.

Abused women are strong and they have their reasons for being there, until finally they work it through their minds, that they are not the cause, they cannot make it stop, and they cannot change their abusers, and statistically their abusers never will change no matter how hard we want them to.

When it becomes survival, when that last step is taken mentally, then finally women leave, for good.

We MUST support women, and be there for them without judging, no matter what!

........snip.......

From RN 7/9/99 there is some religion in this letter...

Forgiveness

If you are going by the Bible, foregiveness as it is preached is not exactly how the Bible states...

Yes, it says we should forgive 77x7 IF the person ASKS for forgiveness, AND Jesus said "forgive them for they know not what they do" that meant WHEN/IF they asked for forgiveness then they would be forgiven, and Jesus told his aposles specific ways to handle people who would not hear them, it is basically one on one, then go to the elders etc, the last thing to do after a person will not hear you, is to walk out of that town or away from that person while you shake the dust of your feet
ie: that person is not to leave their filth on you, and you are not to worry about forgiving them, and you are not to keep trying and to "cast your pearls (of wisdom) before swine"

See I stayed for a lot longer because I was taught to "forgive". BUT we as Christians are not to be abused, preachers take everything out of context most of the time.
ALSO while I am at it, Men are the "source" of women NOT the "head of" (in the original language), and Paul was stating his own opinions as far as how women and men are to relate to each other.
And while I am on my bandwagon, The Adam and Eve snake thing, about how women would have to basically be subserviant to men... that was a prophecy,
NOT a punishment and God did not want it that way.
That was NOT the way men and women were to relate to one another.

Also ladies... if any man treated a women how Jesus intended, loving her as his own body and being willing to die for her, wouldn't we all feel very very loved?

I don't cast my pearls before swine and I shook the dust of my feet, and I don't feel a bit guilty about it. When/if my abusive ex asks me for forgiveness, that truly would have to be a miracle and I would know it, and at that point I would have no problem forgiving, but as of now, that all is in God's hands.

Ever read the psalms about abusive men, and shelter? I wish I could find the passage, but it is very comforting when you are in a domestic abuse shelter as i was.

God doesn't want you to be abused.

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