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Funny Quotations
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Change
"Things do not change, we do." - Henry David Thoreau
"Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone." - "Catcher in the rye" by J.D. Salinger
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do." - Goethe
"When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell.
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." - Maya Angelou
"Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose" (The more things change, the more they stay the same) - Les Guepes by Alphonse Karr, a 19th Century French writer (thanks james!)
"As you get older it seems like you've gotta listen to your head but remember,being great takes a great mind but being remembered takes a great heart." -Carmen Fong
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave
behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter
into another!" - Anatole France
Determination
"I must do something" will always solve more problems than "something must be done". --Anonymous
"We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything." --Blaise Pascal
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."
--Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne
"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. "
--Robert H. Goddard
"The best way to predict your future is to create it." --Unknown
"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
"If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average." - Leonard Levinson
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney
Dreams
"Any dream worth having is a dream worth fighting for." - Charles Francis Xavier
"They can do all because they think they can." - Virgil
"All books are either dreams or swords." - Amy Lowell
"From small beginnings come great things." - proverb
"People who light fire with fire usually end up with ashes." - Abigail Van Buran
"The future comes one day at a time." - Dean Acheson
"To build may have to be the slow and laborous task of years. To destroy can be the thoughless act of a single day." - Winston Churchill
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - Albert Einstein
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought." - Basho
"It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop." - Confucius
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." --Theodore Roosevelt
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others." --Robert Louis Stevenson
"To achieve the impossible, one must think the absurd; to look where everyone else has looked, but to see what no one else has seen."
"People think dreams aren't real just because they aren't made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes." - Neil Gaiman
"It is when we stop dreaming, that we die." - Emma Goldman
"I believe talent is like electricity. We do not understand electricity. We use it. Electricity makes no judgement. You can plug into it, and light up a lamp, keep a heart pump going, light a cathedral, or you can electrocute a person with it. . . I think talent is like that. I believe every person is born with talent." - Maya Angelou
"All of us are in the gutters, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Elenor Roosevelt
"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." - Thomas Jefferson
"Success is a journey not a destination."
"Do what you can with what you have where you are." - Teddy Roosevelt.
"I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do." - Lucille Ball.
Fear
"Do not be ashamed to say what you are not ashamed to think." - Michel de Montaigne
Friendship
"Talking about yourself can be selfish or generous. If you never talk about yourself, about your problems and stuff, that's selfish, because you're not giving your friends a chance to help you. And if you talk about yourself all the time, you're selfish and boring." - Burning for Revenge by John Marsden
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is not only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin
"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing." - Baltasar Gracian
"It takes a lot of understanding, time and trust to gain a close friendship with someone. As I approach a time of my life of complete uncertainty, my friends are my most precious asset." - Erynn Miller
"One of the best ways to lose a friend is to tell him something for his own good."
"Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you." Yassir Arafat
"Where you used to be, there is a hold in the world, which i find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling into at night. i miss you like hell." - Edna St. Vincent Millay
"Some of the finest friendships are between persons of different dispositions. the mind is often attracted by perfections it lacks itself." - Eustace Budgell.
"You give but a little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. " --Kahlil Gibran
"You can lay the foundation of friendship in a matter of moments, but it is a work of time to build a monument." -Madelyn Watt
"Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts." -Margaret Lee Runbeck
"If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they're very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."
"A friend is a gift you give yourself."
--Robert Louis Stevenson
"A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me, I'd like to be the help that you've been always glad to be; I'd like to mean as much to you each minute of the day, as you have meant, old friend of mine, to me along the way."
--Edgar A. Guest
"Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end but somewhere in the middle we've become the best of friends."
--Unknown
"A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view." Wilma Askinas
"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses there is, at last, one which
makes the heart run over." James Boswell
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you." Dale Carnegie
"Tell me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are." Assyrian Proverb
"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments of lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." -Richard Bach
"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow." - William Shakespeare.
"The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to." - Carl Sandburg
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there." - Anon
"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little while.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded. "I promise," he said."
-Winnie the Pooh
"Can miles truly separate us from friends? If we want to be with someone we love, aren't we already there?" - Richard Bach
"Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like." - Anon
Happiness
"Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it." - Bernard Meltzer
"Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come." -Chinese proverb
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling." -Margaret Lee Runbeck
"Happiness isn't the easiest thing to find, but one place you're guaranteed to find it is in a friend's smile." --Allison Poler
"Happiness is something which comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open." Rose Lane
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -- Addison
"Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be." - Abraham Lincoln.
"Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness - happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes if you're lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love." -Adela Rogers St. Johns
"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." - Dolly Parton
Hugs
"One hug can speak volumes." -- Misty
"Hugs are the universal medicine." -- Author Unknown
"Hugging is good medicine. It transfers energy, and gives the person hugged an emotional boost. You need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth. A hug makes you feel good. The skin is the largest organ we have and it needs a great deal of care. A hug can cover a lot of skin and gives the message that you care. It is also a form of communication. It can say things you don't have words for. The nicest thing about a hug is that you usually can't give one without getting one." -- Author Unknown
"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural: it is organic, naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, no preservatives, no articificial ingredients, and is 100% wholesome. Hugging is practically perfect: there are no movable parts, no batteries to replace, no periodic check-ups, has low energy consumption, high energy yield, is inflation-proof, non-fattening, has no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, is theft-proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable."
-- Author Unknown
Irony
"No matter where you go, there you are." -Buckaroo Bonzai
"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."
"Sometimes you can observe a lot by watching." -Yogi Berra
"Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of."
Agnes' Law
"Things should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler."
Albert Einstein
"It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept."
"Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?" -Calvin & Hobbes
"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few." Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans." Ronald Reagan
"Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it." -Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you."
"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."
--Anonymous
"When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will." --Anonymous
"The longer somebody has to wait for a thing, the better he expects it to be."
"A road map always tells you everything except how to refold it."
"The easiest way of making money is stop losing it."
© 1997 saffi7@hotmail.com
Change
Determination
Dreams
Fear
Friendship
Happiness
Hugs
Irony
"An absurd man is he who never changes." - Auguste Barthelemy
"Set your own ground rules, and if you follow them, there are great rewards." - Margaret Bourke-White.
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - Mark Twain
"Fear has the largest eyes of all." - Boris Pasternak
"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like a life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune, to keep him is a blessing."
"Shared joy is double joy. Shared sorrow is half sorrow." - Swedish Proverb
"A hug is a warm expression that lies somewhere between 'I like you' and 'I love you.' It can be given anywhere; anytime - even when least expected... and is always appreciated. A hug can say many things--Glad to know you... Let's be friends...Haven't seen you for awhile...So nice to see you again. a hug goes even deeper...It can speak for the heart without words. A hug is sharing moments of sorrow saying I'm here to share your burden. If you need me you can depend on me. A hug lifts the spirit and deepens friendship. It says: You're a person of worth. You're a friend and I care." -- Author Unknown
"You know you'll hate something when they won't tell you what it is." -Calvin and Hobbes
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