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My Spiritual Journal

Note: Words of Jesus Christ are in red.


Friday, July 15, 2005

Bible verses of the day:

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.

Matthew 13:31-32
He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches."

God is the ultimate desire of every human life - whether one admits it or not. Riches and pleasures bring fleeting happiness, not lasting joy. The author of Ecclesiastes had everything a man could dream of - priceless treasures, large palaces, beautiful women - and yet couldn't find true contentment apart from the Lord. Indeed, mankind's relationship with God is like the smallest mustard seed: It requires the least amount of physical investment and typically yields only modest physical benefits, but the delight that it brings to one's soul far surpasses any worldly happiness.

To worship the Lord is a very simple matter - it requires neither wealth, nor intelligence, nor popularity, nor any other quality that we have a tendency to compare each other with. In fact, the poorer and more helpless we are, and the more the world sees us as "losers", the more purely we can worship the Lord - desperation breeds the most powerful worship. For this very reason, few people in our modern, individualistic society can love the Lord with an undivided heart. It's not easy being Christian - that is, a true Biblical Christian - in America. We have such an abundance of wealth and possessions, and the culture of materialism and individualism are so deeply ingrained in our psyche, that we need a complete revolution in our hearts and minds.


Thursday, July 14, 2005

Bible verses of the day:

Exodus 4:10-12
Moses said to the Lord, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.
The Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

Isaiah 66:1-2
This is what the Lord says: "Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be? Has not my hand made all these things, and so they came into being?" declares the Lord.
"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word."

Matthew 5:3
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Luke 14:7-11
When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: "When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, 'Give this man your seat.' Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all your fellow guests. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

2 Corinthians 11:30-31
If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. The God and Father of the Lord Jesus, who is to be praised forever, knows that I am not lying.

The Lord is in complete control of the universe, and He rewards those who bow and kneel before His majesty. In the Kingdom of God, the proud are "cut down to size", and the humble are elevated beyond their highest expectations.

Ironically, Christians can be proud in a unique way: proud of their own weakness! Like Paul the Apostle, we can boast of how much we rely on God. We can boast that everything we have and everything we do is by His grace alone. We can boast that our very weakness allows God to make us strong!

So, I am thankful to be weak and inadequate. I'm thankful that I'm not tall or handsome, nor extraordinarily talented in any way, nor charming and inspiring to others. I'm thankful that my own spirit is so dull and lifeless. I'm thankful to be a loser in the eyes of some who look better, who make more money, or who haven't dealt with as much rejection. I boast in my weakness, which is my ticket to absolute dependence on God's grace - and His promise of eternal life. Amen.


Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Bible verses of the day:

John 10:11-12, 17-18
"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. . . .
The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."

John 12:24-26
"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

Matthew 16:24-25
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Christian life is all about sacrifice, as Jesus himself demonstrated through the actions ordained by his Father. Indeed, it takes a great deal of sacrifice to walk with God - one must surrender all other dreams and desires. Of the thousands of people that Jesus ministered to, only 120 core followers were gathered for the Pentecost, 50 days after his Resurrection, awaiting the empowerment of the Holy Spirit that he had promised. How blessed were those 120!

It seems that most "Christians" throughout history have viewed salvation through Christ in passive terms - merely believe in Jesus as their Savior, and they could still do what they want. Thank God that this isn't the kind of Christianity that I'm learning these days!

Not too long ago, I was deeply troubled by this whole notion of sacrificing myself for God. I wanted so much to be a serious, Biblical Christian, but my self-interest always got in the way. I now know that my discomfort was simply the result of not fully embracing my new identity in Christ (see my previous journal entry below), and holding on to my old patterns of thinking - which were self-centered and earthly (not heavenly). Only when I'm more secure in my identity as a child of God, when I'm more deeply immersed in His love, will I be able to truly lay down my life in His service.

Thus, these days I pray simply for more of God's presence in my life, for more love and guidance by the Spirit. I trust that when the time comes, God's love will naturally overflow from me, and I can start living like a Biblical Christian.


Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Bible verses of the day:

Ephesians 2:6-7, 10
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. . . . For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Why did the early Christians risk losing everything - their wealth, their property, their comfort, their very lives - in order to worship their Lord and Savior? It's because they knew who they were. They knew that God had already chosen them to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven through Jesus, and that was enough to convince them that everything else they possessed was virtually worthless.

So, in order to lay down my own life for God, I must know who I am. I am a child of God, chosen by him to gain eternal life through Christ. I must be absolutely secure and comfortable in this new identity - an identity not self-earned, but granted to me by the Lord's grace.

How wonderful it is to finally know who I am! I'm not a software engineer - it's just what I do so I can pay my bills. I'm not an American citizen of Chinese ancestry - race and nationality have no significance in God's kingdom. And I'm not an aspiring intellectual like my father - I can have all the wisdom I'll ever need from my Father in Heaven. No, I'm simply a child of God. Amen.


Monday, July 11, 2005

Bible verses of the day:

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Yes, the term "Christian" itself means "Christ-like." To be a true Christian, we can't just believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, but are called to imitate him. I'm finally beginning to appreciate this simple truth.

It's very hard to become like Christ - not just hard, but impossible without God's grace. To live like Jesus, I must first die for him. Not a physical death, of course, but a death to the person that I've been for the past 23 years. I can no longer do the things that I want to do, for my own selfish interests. Instead, everything I do must be for God's plans. As Jesus himself said, the only reason for his life on earth was to do the will of his Father who sent him.

Over the past few weeks, I've come to realize that it's not enough to sacrifice my own ambitions so that I can serve God - I also can't have my own ideas of how I'll serve him. So, being Christ-like means having no mind of my own. Talk about mind-control!

But it's all worth it. When I doubt, I remind myself that whatever God does with my life, it'll be far better than anything I'll do on my own.





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