Why McDonalds is Better Than the Navy.

MM2. He started this. Everybody pretty much had a hand in it. Some reasons sound pretty much the same, there are subtle differences though. Also, as with the quotes, some of them may not be all that funny to you. Some of them aren't that funny to me either and I know what they all mean. The goal is 100 reasons, almost there. Can you help us out?

  1. At McDonalds, your manager wouldn't trip the main breaker fifteen minutes before the lunch rush just to see what you would do.
  2. At McDonalds, if someone spilled a milkshake, you wouldn't get called in to help clean it up.
  3. At McDonald's, you work all morning, you will leave at lunch. If your replacement is late, he gets in trouble, and you get paid more for staying late.
  4. At McDonald's, Ronald would never threaten to break your fingers and shove them up your fucking ass if you don't go make more french fries right now.
  5. At McDonald's, you don't have to worry about falling asleep and waking up to some guy sucking your dick.
  6. At McDonald's, you can tell your boss that you are gay. (ET1submitted this one)
  7. At McDonald's, the french fry guy wouldn't be crawling all over the grill guy like a horny dog licking his master in front of five other people.
  8. At McDonalds, you'll never hear that your family didn't come in your happy meal.
  9. At McDonalds, no one would ask me how much money I would want to let them rub their nuts on my head.
  10. At McDonalds, Sunday morning doesn't start with an attack Wendy's exercise.
  11. At McDonalds, your family can see you at work any time regardless of their age or sex.
  12. At McDonalds, you can always flush the toilet with one hand, and your hair will never get wet.
  13. At McDonalds, your boss admits that he is a clown.
  14. At McDonalds, they admit they hire retards.
  15. At McDonalds, you won't be dink french fry maker after one month.
  16. At McDonalds, when Ronald comes through, you don't have to get out of his way.
  17. At McDonalds, your manager won't yell at you for eating your happy meal with your hat on.
  18. At McDonalds, Ronald never calls his workers ‘DUMMY.'
  19. At McDonalds, you never have to turn off the microwave in fear that Burger King might find you.
  20. At McDonalds, if you want to quit, you can.
  21. At McDonalds, you never run out of milk.
  22. At McDonalds, if you are really tired, they send you home.
  23. At McDonalds, if you worked for 180 days straight, you might get a little overtime pay.
  24. At McDonalds, your manager won't fuck you over just so he can be ‘Manager of the Month.'
  25. At McDonalds, you get to shit on porcelain and flush with one hand.
  26. At McDonalds, you can eat whenever the fuck you want.
  27. At McDonalds, you can sit at a table by yourself.
  28. At McDonalds, you could get stoned if you want.
  29. At McDonalds, if someone cuts in front of you in line, you kick their ass.
  30. At McDonalds, you don't have training every month on how to make french fries.
  31. At McDonalds, if you forget your name tag, some power tripping asshole won't make you work overtime for nothing.
  32. At McDonalds, everything is voluntary
  33. At McDonalds, you don't have to buy a permission slip to grow a beard.
  34. At McDonalds, your boss' eyes don't look at each other.
  35. At McDonalds, you don't have to go on a deployment to wear a hat at work.
  36. At McDonalds, people know how to shut off the french fry machine.
  37. At McDonalds, if you have to take a shit, you just go do it.
  38. At McDonalds, they won't fire you if you are fat.
  39. At McDonalds, you don't have to open early or stay open late if another McDonalds doesn't open on time.
  40. At McDonalds, you don't have to worry about having children with one eye and three arms.
  41. At McDonalds, the special sauce is not CONFIDENTIAL. You won't go to jail if you tell someone what's in it.
  42. At McDonalds, you can have sideburns past the middle of your ear.
  43. At McDonalds, you get promoted for your hard work, not for whose ass you kiss or whom you fuck over.
  44. At McDonalds, they don't have ORSE or TRE.
  45. At McDonalds, you will never stand the ‘Vulcan Death Rotation.'
  46. At McDonalds, you can park wherever the fuck you want.
  47. At McDonalds, you give people respect for the job they do, not the uniform they hide behind.
  48. At McDonalds, if they want you to work next month, they tell you this month.
  49. At McDonalds, when you work next month doesn't change every day this month.
  50. At McDonalds, when a new Ronald takes over, you don't have to get all dressed up and stand in formation for an hour, listening to the old Ronald talk about what he did, and the new Ronald talking about what he is going to do.
  51. At McDonalds, there is no store wide announcement when Ronald walks in or out the door.
  52. At McDonalds, you get promoted based on your performance, not on a test score.
  53. At McDonalds, not a lot of different emergencies can happen, and most of the ones that do can be immediately be handled by leaving the store.
  54. At McDonalds, they don't take the cost of your food from your paycheck and force you to eat there.
  55. At McDonalds, you flip burgers with a spatula, you mop the floor with a mop. You don't have to bring in your own from home, and you can always find the ones in the store.
  56. At McDonalds, the next guy to do something stupid won't get in more trouble than the first guy who got nothing because he was first guy to do something stupid.
  57. At McDonalds, you don't sit through training on how to make a taco.
  58. At McDonalds, your dick is probably not the main topic of discussion ever, ever, ever.
  59. At McDonalds, flexible hours doesn't mean "BOHICA."
  60. At McDonalds, more than three people can smoke at a time.
  61. At McDonalds, they won't have a "Health and Comfort Inspection" (which is really a search through your locker without you permission) for something someone else does.
  62. At McDonalds, you can call in sick. You don't have to go to McDonalds to show your boss you are sick. You call him, tell him, and then go to the beach.
  63. At McDonalds, no one makes a list of reasons Why the NAVY is Better Than McDonalds.
  64. At McDonalds, if you steal, they fire you.
  65. After you have worked at McDonalds six years, you would be a manager.
  66. After you have worked at one McDonalds for two years, you don't have to learn a new different McDonalds somewhere else.
  67. If you work at McDonalds, you get the chance to watch your kids grow up.
  68. If you go into McDonalds and Ronald is eating, you don't get yelled at.
  69. If you get hurt at McDonalds, they send you to a real doctor.
  70. If you won't stay clean at McDonalds, they fire you.
  71. If you fuck Ronald's daughter, you won't get in trouble.
  72. If you tell Ronald to ‘FUCK OFF,' you won't go to jail.
  73. McDonalds never goes and spies on Wendy's.
  74. McDonalds doesn't even own OBAs.
  75. No one has ever tried to kill himself because he had to work at McDonalds.
  76. The commercials showing people working at McDonalds are a lot closer to what you would actually do if you worked at McDonalds.
  77. What motivational music would Ronald play over the store's loud speaker? I suppose it would be "CHEESE BURGER IN PARADISE."
  78. When someone retires from McDonalds, you are asked to go to a party, not forced to attend a ceremony.
  79. You could go have a cold one with Ronald.
  80. You don't even have a rack at McDonalds and you don't have to share one with someone who does.
  81. You work at McDonalds, it's 3:00 A.M., you are . . . (A) just getting home, had a couple of cold ones after closing . . . (B) getting up in an hour to open the store for breakfast . . . BUT NOT (C) pretending to attack Burger King while putting out imaginary grill fires.

back to Saturdays, Sundays, and Nights . . . Its's not just a job . . . It's a joke!

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