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Day Four - Saturday

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A little after four that morning at Clay's house

"So how'd it go last night?" Sarah asked over Kate's cell phone.

Kate sighed. "Real well, until we got home."

Sarah's sigh echoed Kate's. "Want to tell me about it?"

"He liked how I looked - he was absolutely speechless and could hardly take his eyes off me throughout the evening." Kate grinned warmly at the memory. "Then again, I wasn't much better with him. He did look quite hot in that tux." Oh, baby...

"Somehow," Sarah giggled, "it doesn't surprise me to hear you say that. Pictures?"

"Oh yes!" Kate assured her. "Kim took them both with her camera and mine. And if those don't come out, Mrs. Parker took pictures too."

Kate could imagine Sarah smiling on the other end. "We're not hurting for pictures. And I am looking forward to seeing the videotape of Clay's reaction."

"Wiseacre..." Kate complained. "You're enjoying this entirely too much."

"Don't you know it. Actually, I have my own information about yesterday," Sarah purred mischievously. "I've been haunting the message boards, Katydid."

Kate blinked with surprise at her friend. "Wha...?"

"I've been reading what the fans think about you... and barring the fact that most of them are insanely jealous of your good fortune, they like you a lot." The warmth crept into Sarah's voice. "They think that the two of you are a very good match for each other and are hoping that you stay together for a long time. One thread I saw had everyone taking bets on when Clay would propose to you."

Kate gaped. "Get outta here!"

"Another one was a discussion on when you two would get married... or whether you'd elope."

Kate grimaced. The topic of marriage versus elopement was one that never seemed to have a clear answer with either one of them. "Oh, goody..."

Sarah continued. "And there are so many screen shots of the two of you on Regis and Kelly that it isn't even funny..."

"Don't tell me," Kate muttered. "The floor?" Sarah giggled, and Kate groaned. "That figures..."

"Of course there are some of you being serenaded by Clay... There are also several of you and Clay hugging once you got up," Sarah informed her, "and a handful of the two of you sitting there on the couch being so affectionate to each other. Oh, and you two with the animals. The shot of Clay with the monkey on his head is a favorite."

Kate snickered, trying desperately to hold in her laughter. The last thing she wanted to do was wake Clay or Kim at this early hour. "I don't doubt that."

"No, Katydid," Sarah told her with a sigh, "the American public likes you. They think you're very well suited to be Clay's lady."

Kate blinked very slowly in complete shock. It's a good thing I'm laying down on the bed, she thought, because otherwise I might faint.

"And I found a lot of information about the premiere too." Sarah giggled. "I found pictures of the two of you after you got out of the limo. You made quite the stir."

"Hunh?" Kate asked, puzzled.

Sarah's laughter deepened. "It was clear to everyone on the planet how you two only had eyes for each other." Kate blushed as Sarah continued. "You kissed him on the cheek in front of all those cameras, Katydid. I'm proud of you."

Suddenly Kate knew what Sarah was talking about when she said that the two of them had only noticed each other - Kate didn't remember anything from that moment but Clay. "Um, how many cameras were there? I really don't remember noticing them at all... let alone how many..."

"Why am I not surprised?" Sarah giggled some more. "You see a lot of other big stars in there?"

Kate nodded even though Sarah couldn't see it. "Kim pointed out Brad Pitt to me. He was there with Jennifer, of course." She started counting off the people she saw on her fingers. "Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. were there. I also saw Randy, Paula and Simon from American Idol." Kate raised one wicked eyebrow. "The three of them thought we made a good couple."

"Oh really?" Sarah sounded interested.

"Yeah, that was priceless. They all wished us a long, happy life together... and Simon started it."

Sarah made a slight noise of surprise. "Really! Well..."

Kate continued remembering which stars she had seen there. "I saw that one guy from Felicity you think is so hot."

"Scott Speedman?" Sarah asked, breathless.

"Okay," Kate shrugged. "If that's his name. "I also saw a bunch of people from 7^th Heaven - the gal who plays Lucy, and the two guys who play her husband and brother-in-law."

"Beverly Mitchell," Sarah immediately recited, "Geoff and George Stults. Mm, yummy. Who else?"

"I saw Frankie Muniz, and Haley Joel Osment," Kate smiled. Then she rolled her eyes. "Oh, and Jacob Haskell was there."

"I knew that you bumped into him," Sarah admitted with an annoyed sigh. Neither Kate or Sarah liked Jacob Haskell - they always thought that he seemed stuck up and, worse, stuck on himself. "I saw some picture of the two of you - you had your arms crossed and were giving him the dirtiest look. What's the story behind that?"

Kate heaved an irritated harrumph. "He is every bit the jerk that we guessed he was... and more."

"Oh really?" A speculative noise came from Sarah. "This I have to hear."

Happy to oblige, Kate told Sarah about the exchange she'd had with Jacob Haskell, how he had oozed his way into the conversation, slandered Clay, and tried to win Kate's affections for himself.

"He hit on you?? That little..." Sarah breathed a mild curse that suggested Jacob Haskell was of questionable parentage. "How did you handle that?"

"Told him off," Kate drawled, and gave her a verbatim account of what she had said to Jacob Haskell.

"Ouch! So that was why the two of you looked like you were having a stand-off." Sarah giggled. "I wish I could have been there for that, up close and personal! You won't defend yourself, but you'll always defend someone else... and always with the best comebacks."

"And in front of Clay's entire family, too..." Kate muttered.

"Are you serious?" Sarah asked.

"Unfortunately," Kate admitted. "One of these days my big mouth and my hot-headed tendencies are going to get me into a heap of trouble..."

Sarah disagreed. "Someone would have to make you really mad before that happened. Even with your temper, you're one of the most level-headed individuals around."

Kate chose not to respond to that. Instead she sat up on the bed, ready to go forward in the conversation. "Get this, Sarah: everyone who heard seemed to approve of how I handled it. Ruben told me that I had done and said the right thing. Clay's mother agreed with Ruben and told me that few people can come to someone's defense and keep everyone's dignity intact. Clay's brother Jeff said that I told what's-his-name off with class. With class! Last I checked, it's not possible to shoot off your mouth and still come out looking good."

"Yes, it is," Sarah insisted. "You stuck up for Clay, refuting the bad things with the positive. You were a positive witness, Katydid, which is something that Clay's entire family and Jacob Haskell and everyone else within earshot will always remember you for. Except for those two or three choice slams, you never did resort to name-calling... and those were priceless." Sarah giggled wickedly. "Subtlety, thy name is Kate."

Kate snickered. "Thanks, sweetie."

"Makes you wonder how Clay would have reacted," Sarah mused, "if he had heard you say all that."

"Um..." Kate mumbled sheepishly. "He, um... did."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" Sarah squealed. "Tell me tell me tell me what happened!"

"Normally I can read people's expressions and their body language," Kate shrugged, "but at that moment I could not read Clay to save my neck. It was obvious from the look on his face that he heard everything... but I could not tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking, not even a little bit. Well, except for one thing. He was stunned, to say the least."

"I don't doubt that," Sarah drawled. "You just called him the man of your dreams and the love of your life and told Jacob Haskell that you didn't want to be with anyone else. What was going through Clay's mind, well, depends entirely on how serious he really is about you." Sarah paused in thoughtful speculation. "So far it seems that he's serious about you... I am guessing that this blew his mind and he's probably doing some serious thinking about where he wants to see your relationship go from here."

Instantly Kate remembered how the evening had ended. She bit her lip to keep from crying.

"How did he react?" Sarah prodded.

Kate shrugged. "I thought I should apologize and ask him for forgiveness for sticking my foot in my mouth... and he hugged me. Tight." Very slowly Kate let out a breath and closed her eyes, allowing her memory to go back to that moment. "Then he kissed me on the forehead and touched my face..." Kate sighed contentedly, remembering his gentle touch and loving gaze. "He was going to kiss me again on the cheek," Kate admitted bashfully, "but I kinda derailed that a bit."

"Derailed that?" Sarah asked uncertainly. "Then when did that little kiss you gave him happen?"

Kate's eyes widened at Sarah's question. How did she know about that? Then again, this was L.A. - there had probably been at least one camera trained on the two of them at any given time... which guaranteed that someone was going to catch that moment on film. And now that stolen kiss was forever immortalized on the Internet - a thought that Kate found at once both frightening and maddeningly sexy. "Th-th-that's... uh... how I... um, derailed it. He went to kiss me, I moved. He stopped... and I um, seized the moment." Kate chewed on her thumb guiltily.

Sarah whistled. "Oh my..." Kate could picture her nodding with approval. "My only complaint is that you kept it short, sweet, and simple - I wanted to see you give him a bigger one." A snap sounded on the other end, and Sarah went on. "Oh, that's right, you would want to save that for later since it was your first kiss. So did you two kiss in the theater, or did you wait until you got home?"

Kate scowled. "You're incorrigible."

"Fine," Sarah huffed. "Did you at least enjoy the movie?"

All at once it occurred to Kate that she had paid very little attention to the movie itself and instead had paid most of it to Clay as the two of them had sat cuddling in the dark. "Um... I don't remember much about the movie... If you really want my opinion on the movie, then I'm going to need to watch it again sometime when one of the stars isn't holding me in his arms."

"AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!" Sarah groaned and cheered at the same time.

"I got cold," Kate said defensively, "and he was trying to keep me warm."
"I bet," Sarah purred. "I only hope that he warmed your lips later on."

Kate didn't reply. She curled into a tight ball on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Katydid?" When Kate still didn't reply, Sarah sighed deeply. "Is this what you mean when you started this conversation by saying that the evening went well until you got home?"

"Yeah."

Immediately Sarah's voice softened. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"He wanted to kiss me," Kate admitted weakly, "and I got scared. I just couldn't stop shaking... and although I told him that it was all right with me if he wanted to kiss me, Clay said that I was just telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. He said that I wasn't ready for him to kiss me."

"Wow," Sarah breathed. "He respects you, Kate."

"But I hurt him," Kate moaned. "I could see in his eyes that he was hurt... He probably thinks I don't trust him."

"Do you?"

"If I can't trust Clay," Kate sniffled, "then I can't trust any man. Ever."

"Oh, Katydid... 'ever' is a mighty long time for you to go without the love you've always longed to have in your life." Gently Sarah sighed - dear, sweet Sarah understood. "You never answered my question," she said very quietly.

"I won't know the answer until I've told him everything." Everything. Kate still wrestled with the truth herself and she was the one who dealt with it every day. If she couldn't handle it, how could she expect someone like Clay to handle it? And that thought, coupled with the mere suggestion that she might lose Clay because of it, frightened Kate beyond belief. She wiped an unwanted tear from her cheek. "He asked me if I wanted the two of us to be together." Sarah gasped and Kate went on. "Do you think he wants to break up with me?"

Sarah answered in the negative. "If the look in his eye at Regis and Kelly and at the premiere is any indication, he doesn't want to break up with you... but if he believes that's what you want, then he'll end the relationship out of respect for you."

"Sarah," Kate whispered to her roommate with a weak hiccup, "I don't want us to break up. I need him too much."

"Make sure he knows that," Sarah counseled, "and make sure to tell him the truth today."

"He's going to hate me for it," Kate sobbed.

"He'd better not," Sarah growled, "if he knows what's good for him."

"Sarah!" Kate protested. "Please don't say or do anything rash. I don't want to hurt him more. In fact I wouldn't blame him in the slightest if he hated me because of it."

"Kathryn Kirche, don't you dare talk that way about yourself around me or anybody else! Contrary to what you believe, it does not make you less of a person... or any less worthy of love. You of all people know better than to judge someone based on their emotional baggage, because you don't do it. The same should apply to you."

"Whatever..." Kate mumbled to her roommate with a sniffle.

Taking another tack, Sarah began again. "If you tell him the truth and he doesn't accept it or breaks up with you because of it... then he is a bigger loser than Jacob-the-jerk Haskell and he doesn't deserve the amazing woman that is you. If you tell him the truth and he accepts it... then he is a gem among men, because he loves you just the way you are - lumps and all."

Kate smiled ever so slightly. "If he accepts the truth as it is and accepts me in spite of it, then he is the one man that I could give my heart and my soul to... the one man that I could fall in love with."

"Exactly." A thoughtful pause followed before Sarah continued. "Didn't you say that Clay himself has taken a lot of painful lumps from life?"

"He's told me a lot of different things," Kate responded guardedly. No one, not even Sarah, knew the things that Clay had told her in confidence, and Kate was going to keep it that way. "Some are public knowledge. Some are not. And many of them are hard, painful things that a less mature woman wouldn't be able to handle."

"Unlike you," Sarah responded, "who accepts them and him as is."

Kate nodded. "I refuse to judge him based on things that have happened in his past - it's not my place to do so. It's my place to understand him and accept him... and love him the way he is, as the amazing man that I have been blessed to get to know on a personal level."

Sarah chuckled. "Katydid, you need to give him the opportunity to do the same for you. Tell him your story. Make him see what makes trusting men so difficult, what makes intimacy so difficult for you. Tell him the truth - today."

Kate knew that Sarah was right as usual. "All right. Pray for me, sweetie. I'm going to need all the help I can get in order to do this."

"Consider it done."

With that taken care of, Kate changed the subject. "How are things going there for you?"

Sarah sighed thoughtfully. "I had my dream again last night."

"Your wedding dream?" Kate asked.

"Yeah." Since Sarah had been very young, she had been blessed with a gift for dreams... dreams which, eerily enough, often came true. Sometimes the dreams were symbolic of something that was going to happen, but other times they happened down to the last detail. The more Sarah had the dream, the more likely it was that it would indeed come true. And Sarah had dreamed time and time again about her own wedding...

"Anything new," Kate prodded, "or was it same-ol', same-ol'?"

Sarah paused. Although in her dream the veil had always been pulled over her face, she could always see enough detail through the lace to know that she was marrying a tall, largely built, very dark-skinned man. Then again, with Sarah standing only five foot two inches, it didn't take much man to be larger than her. "For the first time, the veil was lifted."

Kate's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh! What did you see?"

"The first thing I expected to see - your father giving me away." Sarah sighed - since her own parents had died in a car crash her senior year of high school, only Kate's father had come that close to being the father figure she missed in her own life.

"Oh." Kate sounded disappointed.

Sarah went on. "I also saw the face of the best man." Once more she paused. "It was Clay."

Kate sat bolt upright. "What??"

"I. Saw. Clay." Sarah repeated, giving each word dramatic emphasis, "standing in the spot reserved for best man, and he had the biggest smile plastered on his face."

Kate's mouth worked for a minute as she struggled to come up with her next question. "What do you think this means?"

"I don't know." Sarah sighed again. "You know how my dreams are - either it's literal or symbolic. Either way, if my dream comes true in any sense of the word, then Clay has a major part to play in my meeting him."

"You see the man yet?" Kate asked.

Sarah made a noise of exasperation. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

Kate sighed with sympathy. There was nothing like living half your life with an unsolved mystery hanging over your head. "I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens... which is no consolation to you, of course."

"Of course."

The two women wrapped up their conversation, and Kate climbed out of bed. She stretched with a smile, thinking of how Sarah had given her the early-morning wake-up call. Kate had been awake anyway, and was looking for the excuse to finally get up. Pulling on her slippers, she grabbed her bible and tiptoed out to the living room.

Entering the room, Kate raised an eyebrow when she saw the light on the end table still on. Odd. She walked over to the couch - and blinked with surprise to see Clay sprawled out on the couch fast asleep, still wearing his formalwear from last night (minus coat, tie, and shoes). Looking at his lanky form curled into a tight ball, she could only guess at the quality of his sleep during the night. Oh Clayton honey... Kate knelt down beside him and gently ran her hand over his hair. And you told me not to have nightmares - what kind of tortured dreams did you have last night? Very carefully she leaned down and gave him a light kiss on his eyelid, taking great pains not to disturb his slumber. Slowly she sat down on the floor next to the couch and next to Clay's sleeping form, leaning her back against the base of the couch as she opened up her bible. With a quick glance at Clay to assure herself that he remained asleep, Kate impulsively turned to Song of Solomon and started to read.

As Kate neared the end of the book, she started at a gentle touch on the base of her neck. Clay must have shifted in his sleep, she told herself and continued to read. The touch turned to a light kneading. Kate closed her eyes and let her head drop with a soft, contented moan. Oooh... that feels goooooood.

"You like that, honey?" Clay's sleepy voice asked.

"Mm," Kate responded. She turned to glance at Clay, who was watching her with amusement from one open eye. "Like that lots."

Clay chuckled quietly. After a moment he shifted on the couch, rolling so that he could lean on one elbow to read over her shoulder. "Whatcha got?"

Kate quickly slammed the pages together around one finger. "My bible."

"My, we're defensive this morning." He leaned further over her shoulder and opened the bible back to the place where she had marked. "Well..." Clay said, raising one eyebrow as he scanned the page.

A light flush covered Kate's cheeks. "You were supposed to be asleep. It is four forty-five."

"And normally I would be asleep." Clay laid his head on Kate's shoulder, wrapping one arm around her waist. "But I didn't have the best of nights last night."

"I could tell," Kate whispered. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry I did that to you, sweetheart."

"Don't be," Clay mumbled. "You didn't do it. I'm the one who let myself get all worked up."

Kate chewed thoughtfully on her lip and continued to play with Clay's hair.

Clay moaned slightly at Kate's gentle touch, and snuggled closer to her. "I could certainly fall asleep right here like this, if it weren't for the way my back is all kinked up." He indicated her bible with a glance. "Where did you leave off?"

Kate shrugged with the shoulder Clay wasn't using as a pillow. "One of my favorite parts in chapter eight."

"Would you read it to me?"

Oh my gosh, Kate blinked with surprise. The two of them had talked about their beliefs before and had often shared favorite scripture verses over the phone... but this was the first time that they had the opportunity to read together. And it would have to be the Bible's answer to Harlequin romance novels... Looking back down at the black print of the bible, she recited it aloud. "'Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.'"

"Mm," Clay murmured, "that's one of my favorite parts of the book." He smiled. "That and a section back a ways in the book." Lifting his head to glance over her shoulder, he motioned with the hand that was wrapped around Kate's waist. "Would you turn back a ways, honey? I want to say it's in chapter two or three... or two... somewhere in there."

Kate flipped the pages until she had it open to the pages that he wanted. "Is this it?"

Clay scanned the verses. "Yeah - I found it."

"Do you want me to read that too?" Kate offered.

"That's alright," Clay shook his head. "It's the guy's part anyway." Leaning slightly farther over her shoulder, he began to read it aloud. "'My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.'"

Kate giggled as she lightly caressed Clay's hand. "I never thought I'd see the day when I was reading from Song of Solomon with a man..."

Clay laughed along with her as he laid his head back on her shoulder. "My hope is that someday my wife and I will read the whole book to each other... each taking our own respective parts."

How romantic... Kate thought, and how... She searched in her mind for the word she wanted, thinking of how that book was shockingly steamy for being there in the middle of the Bible. Then again, the word steamy seemed to fit... along with sexy or even erotic. She very quickly shoved that thought to the back of her mind. "I like that idea. It's very romantic."

"Kate honey," Clay began awkwardly, "I did a lot of thinking last night. Although we get along famously and we're definitely attracted to each other, I get a lot of mixed messages from you when it comes down to affection. One moment it seems as if you want to be more intimate... and the next it seems as if you're ready to back away. One moment you're the one kissing me... and the next you seem to be afraid of it." He chuckled wryly. "And then this morning I catch you sitting beside me reading Song of Solomon."

That wasn't one of my brightest moves, was it? Kate thought to herself.

"Last night I had finally talked myself into letting you go..." Kate's heart stopped as she felt like the bottom of her world was going to drop out. Clay took a shaky breath before continuing. "But this morning I realized that I couldn't do it. Not without knowing who hurt you and what happened that it left you so scared." He paused. "Not without knowing what you really think and feel about us."

Kate squeezed her eyes tightly shut, shaken by how narrowly close she had already come to losing Clay. She continued to run her fingers through his hair, savoring this moment together with him as another God-given gift. Her voice surprisingly hoarse, she answered him. "Clay, it is my plan to tell you what happened sometime today." His green eyes glanced up at her, and she continued. "Not right now, of course - I want to give you the opportunity for a little more sleep, and I will need much of the day to gather my courage and the best of Sarah's prayers. But I want to do it today... no matter what you think of me after I tell you."

"No matter what I think of you?" Clay lifted his head from his shoulder and stared at her incredulously. "After all I've told you and the unconditional acceptance you've lavished on me, you think that somehow I could turn my back on you?"

Kate winced. "It's an irrational fear, I know... but it's there."

Slowly Clay slid off the couch to sit down on the floor beside Kate, keeping her firmly wrapped in his arms. "Give me a chance, Kate darlin', and I'll hold you close to my heart like no other man could. I want to give you the love you've always dreamed of."

Immediately Kate responded, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his shoulder. "Clay, I want so much to be the kind of woman you want and need. I want so much to be your dream woman, but I don't know if I have it in me."

"Kate," Clay breathed, "you already are. You already have the qualities I want and need." He pulled her closer, running his fingers through her hair. "And I very much believe that you have it in you to keep me happy and satisfied." Clay kissed her temple.

Kate squeezed him. "I should let you get to bed for a few more hours."

Clay indicated the couch. "I've already spent most the night here, what's a few more hours?"

"Can I at least get you a blanket or a pillow?"

With a smile Clay gazed down at her. She always was a sweetheart. "I'll be fine. All I need is a hug..." He gave her a guilty, sheepish glance. "...and maybe a kiss on the cheek or something."

Kate snickered as Clay crawled back up onto the couch. "I think I can manage that." She gave him a warm hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Pleasant dreams." After watching Clay shut his eyes, she went back to the guest room to get ready for the day.

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"So where are the two of you going today?"

Unsure how to answer Kim's question, Clay and Kate blinked at each other. Finally Kate shrugged. "Don't look at me, sweetheart - I don't know L.A."

Clay chuckled. "I know there's a wax museum here," he informed her, "if that interests you."

"Cool!" Kate exclaimed. "I've never seen one of those."

A smile crossed Clay's face. "Seriously?"

Kate nodded. "We don't have any in Nebraska."

Kim looked at her with surprise. "I had the idea you were pretty well-traveled."

"That doesn't mean I've seen it all..."

Clay's smile grew. "Wax museum it is, then. Anything else, honey?" Upon seeing Kate's raised eyebrow, he chuckled. "That's right - you don't know L.A."

"Right." Kate gave him a wicked grin. "Now if we were in Nebraska, I could give you some suggestions of stuff to do... but that's because I've lived there all my life."

Clay nodded. "I'm still learning L.A." He gave Kate a curious glance. "And what would you have us doing in Nebraska?"

Kate shook her head firmly. "Let's deal with our time in L.A. first - we can always come up with what we're doing for Christmas break after I've returned home."

"There's a zoo or two here," Kim offered.

"Probably," Kate mused, "but I'm kind of partial to the Henry Doorly in Omaha."

Clay snorted. "I've had enough of monkeys for a while." Immediately Kate and Kim broke into delighted laughter, whooping and giggling until tears came out of their eyes. Clay glanced at them askance. "It wasn't that funny."

"You haven't seen the pictures, Clay honey," Kim chuckled. Clay groaned.

"Okay, so no zoos." Kate wiped the tears from her eyes. "What other options do we have?"

Clay shrugged. "There's always Disneyland, but I'd planned to do that on Sunday afternoon when it's less crazy. Going today would be a bad idea."

"Disneyland," Kim said firmly, "is a bad idea period, unless you would buy out the park for the day."

Clay made a face. "This is L.A. - it's not that bad here. Disney World in Orlando might be a different story." He shrugged. "There's always Santa Monica Pier and 3rd Street Promenade."

Kim nodded. "That's fun."

Kate glanced between the two. "What's that one about?"

"Shopping," Kim informed her, "and some old-fashioned rides and things. There's an old-time carousel there you'll love."

"We could always do that after lunch." Clay chewed his lip. "It will give me time to call Jerome or one of my other bodyguards to see if they're available."

Kim tapped her lip thoughtfully. "If worse comes to worse, you could always wear a disguise."

Clay frowned. "I shouldn't have to hide my face just to go out into public."

Kim shrugged. "Think of it as attending a Halloween costume party in the middle of summer." She considered Clay carefully. "Now all we need is to give you a costume."

Kate smirked evilly. "Leave that to me."

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Kate smoothed out the fake brunette moustache she had just attached to Clay's upper lip, blending it carefully into the matching beard. "I think that's one of my better jobs," she proclaimed proudly.

"If it's that good," Clay said, "then I'm looking forward to seeing it in the mirror."

"By the time I'm done, you'll hardly recognize yourself." Kate pulled a long wig from its package and shook it out. She carefully combed all the lengths into place before placing it over the net and pins they had used to keep Clay's own hair from escaping out the bottom of the wig. Giving it a few key pulls and tugs, she arranged it before finger-combing the locks to satisfaction. Kate stepped back and gave her creation a critical look. "There - now all we need is the flannel shirt over the top, and we have ourselves a California greaser."

Immediately Clay got up from the kitchen chair and walked into the bathroom. "Oh my gosh!"

Kate entered the bathroom and wrapped her arms around him from behind. "Amazing, isn't it?"

Clay looked over his T-shirt, jeans, and sandals, and was amazed to see that they did indeed go with the long scraggly mane and face hair that Kate had just applied. "Honey, this is amazing. My own mother wouldn't recognize me if she saw me like this."

Kate blushed. "Thank you - that's the best compliment you could have given me."

Clay returned to the kitchen where he had an old, worn flannel shirt laying off to the side. Grabbing it and putting it on, he returned to the bathroom to catch the full effect. "Wow. This is just like Halloween."

Kate giggled. "Unfortunately there's not as much I can do with myself. I'm going for no makeup, glasses, ponytail, jeans and T-shirt... my classic low-maintenance look. Since America has only seen me dolled up, they should be less likely to recognize me that way."

Clay turned back to her, a twinkle in his eye. "I am curious to see the low-maintenance Kate."

With a light blush, Kate gave a sheepish shrug. "I'm already partway there - I'm not wearing makeup today." When Clay blinked with surprise, she smiled. "You mean you couldn't tell?"

"No," he acknowledged.

Kate nodded, pleased. "Then I'm still doing my makeup right. When I put it on, I try to make it look like I'm not wearing much or any at all. They call it the 'natural' look." She mimicked quotation marks with her fingers.

Clay studied her face. "You look a little more pale, but that's all. I wouldn't have known unless you had said something."

"All I need to do," Kate told him, "is to take out my contacts and pull back my hair."

Clay bit his lip. "Do you think I should wear my contacts or my glasses with this?"

Kate once more turned a critical eye to him. "Glasses. Your eyes are one of your more distinctive features, and the glasses will camouflage them a bit." With that assessment, Clay turned to go remove his own contacts while Kate brushed her hair. She chuckled as she pulled it back into a ponytail - Clay seemed to be having fun with this.

Moments later Clay returned wearing his gold-rimmed glasses. He studied Kate, whose lively eyes were almost hidden behind silver frames. "You still look pretty," he told her.

Kate blinked with surprise. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." He took her into his arms and kissed her forehead. "I mean that."

That moustache tickles, Kate thought to herself. Note to self, we prefer Clay clean-shaven. "Are you ready?" she asked him.

"I am if you are."

Clay drove them out to the promenade and pier of Santa Monica. Once he parked the car he turned to Kate with a warning look. "Don't touch that handle, darlin'. I should be the one getting the door for you."

I am definitely not used to this, Kate sighed to herself as Clay hurried around to opened her door. She climbed out of the car with a wink up at him, smiling when he shut the door behind her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey," Clay responded happily. "It's only part of Phase One of Operation Spoil My Girlfriend."

Oh really? Kate blushed brilliantly. "Phase One?"

"Yes," he answered, extending his hand to her. She took it, and the two of them started walking to the rides on the pier. "Phase One - extend every gentlemanly courtesy possible. It's stuff I would do anyway," Clay acknowledged, "I'm just planning to do a lot more of it."

How could Clay improve on the common courtesy that is part of his very nature? Kate wondered. "That doesn't seem like anything unusual for you," she said aloud.

Clay smiled at her. "Thank you, honey. That means a lot to me." A mischievous twinkle lit his eye. "But wait until you start seeing all the other phases in action."

I'm afraid to ask... "H-How many phases are there?"

For a moment Clay seemed to give it some thought. "I haven't decided."

"Phase Two," Clay continued, "is lots of compliments and praise... telling you everything about you that is good and wonderful and lovely and amazing."

A small smile turned the corner of Kate's mouth as her blush deepened - so far this was still nothing surprising. More than she expected, to be sure, but not abnormal or out of place for Clay. "I see..."

Clay turned to her. "Keep in mind that all of these phases can go on at once."

Kate nodded wryly. "That would not surprise me in the least."

"Phase Three..." Clay glanced at her. Impulsively he brought her hand to his lips for a kiss. "Phase Three is affection, lots and lots of affection."

"You'll get no complaint here," Kate said reflexively. No sooner were the words out of her mouth than Kate gaped with wide-eyed shock at them. She slapped her free hand over her mouth. Where did that come from? Brain, how dare you betray me like that!

A broad grin lit up Clay's face. He stopped walking and wrapped his arms around her. "Is that an invitation, honey?"

Of course it is! her subconscious screamed. Kate mentally slapped it into submission and chose to keep that thought to herself. "Take that however you'd like," she said quietly, returning the gesture.

"Hmmm..." Clay placed a gentle lingering kiss on her forehead before placing a matching set on each eyebrow. "I think I like this phase of the plan..." When Kate blushed and smiled demurely, he chuckled. Down, Clayton... Keeping one arm around her, Clay started walking again. "Phase Four involves spending as much time with you, or in contact with you, as I can possibly manage. Things like this," he indicated the pier, "like tomorrow, like our phone calls and emails and letters. Any time I can spend with you at all."

Kate smiled warmly. "Now that will spoil me..."

Clay grinned and squeezed her a little tighter. "I hope so, honey, that's what I have in mind to do. Phase Five is the occasional gift or bouquet of flowers..." he continued. "You've said this isn't that important to you, so I won't emphasize it as much. But you're also not going to stop me."

Kate sighed. I should have known...

"I could always add more phases at any given time," Clay threatened.

Raising one eyebrow at him, Kate gave him a sideways glance. "You've got a pretty comprehensive plan as it is."

"Thank you. I know I've given this some thought," Clay nodded. "Of course all the different phases are covered under a general doting clause..."

Kate blinked. "General doting clause??" She snorted - he really had given it some thought, if he had invented a general doting clause. "You're too much, sweetheart."

"Not at all, honey," Clay said, bending to kiss her cheek. "You're an amazing, wonderful woman who deserves the sun, the moon, and the stars."

"Well, Clayton m'love, if you do half the things on that list," Kate told him, "then you will spoil me rotten. Absolutely, completely, one-hundred percent rotten."

"That's the idea."

Before long the two were indulging in the old-fashioned carnival attractions of the Santa Monica Pier, trying a little of everything there. "Want to go on the carousel, honey?" Clay asked her at last.

"Sure!" Kate exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Instantly Clay pulled her close to him. She's having a good day - I can handle more days like this. While they waited in line, he took turns kissing first one temple then the other before depositing a third between her eyes.

"Honey," Kate giggled nervously, "people are staring... I thought you wanted not to draw attention."

Clay bit his lip with a guilty expression. Finally he shrugged. "At least if they're staring, they're staring for this instead of other reasons we could mention..." he whispered in her ear before kissing it.

An involuntary shiver of delight rippled down Kate's back as Clay continued his affectionate barrage. He's going to drive me crazy if he keeps this up...

Fortunately for Kate's sanity the carousel emptied its current passengers, and they were able to climb on as well. "Bench or animal?" Clay asked her.

Normally Kate would have immediately found the tiger on the carousel and claimed it as her trusty steed. But she was still reeling from Clay's tender kisses from moments ago. "Bench will be fine," she said quietly, stealing a shy glance at him.

Clay's eyes lit up as he caught her amorous look. This day shows more and more promise all the time. He pointed at a large swan with a bench seat on its back. "Will this do?"

Oo, just like the tunnel of love... "That will be fine."

Clay assisted Kate into the swan seat before joining her. When Kate slid next to him on the bench, he placed his arm around her and pulled her close. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers. Kate heaved a contended sigh and took his hand in both of hers. Clay smiled to himself, savoring the romantic moment they were sharing.

All too soon their ride was over, and Clay helped her out of the swan boat and off the carousel. He barely placed his feet on the ground when he turned and looked into the sharp and lively eyes of a steel-blue-haired woman either in her seventies or eighties. He blinked with surprise at the pint-sized woman giving him careful consideration. Does she see through the disguise? Clay wondered. "C-Can I help you?" he breathed weakly, hoping that she would not recognize him by his voice.

The woman nodded. "It's so nice to see a young man nowadays who knows how to treat a lady." She patted his cheek. "Make her happy, son."

Clay breathed a sigh of relief as the elderly woman turned to join a small collection of children between the ages of five and twelve. "That was close..." he whispered to Kate.

Kate gently rubbed one of her bright pink cheeks. "That was the last thing I was expecting."

"I'm not sure what I was expecting either," Clay admitted. "Fortunately there's only so much damage that a single elderly woman can do."

The couple opted to take a break from the old-fashioned carnival for a brief tour of the pedestrian mall shops - Kate wanted to find some souvenirs for Sarah and her family.

"Is there anything specific you're looking for?" Clay asked her.

Kate shrugged. "Sarah collects teddy bears wearing T-shirts, my mother collects salt and pepper shakers. My brother - he collects tacky things."

Clay grinned and bit his lip. "Tacky things?"

"Junk things," Kate acknowledged. "Knick-knacks. The uglier and the tackier an item is, the better he likes it. I have great fun getting him tacky and novel items for his souvenir collection." She frowned. "Although I do stay away from the perverse..."

"Um, yeah."

Kate glanced over the items on the shelves of the shop they were browsing through. "I go for souvenir decks of cards myself."

Somehow that doesn't surprise me... Clay thought, remembering how many times her deck of cards had already come out during her short time here. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he nodded at a collection of baubles. "What about some of those?"

Kate frowned at them and shook her head. "Not quite. Maybe the next shelf."

"So what's the tackiest thing you've picked up for him so far?"

Kate chewed her lip in thought. "Nothing nearly as tacky as what he brought back for himself from one of his military trips to Africa." When Clay raised a single curious eyebrow, Kate blushed furiously. "I'm sorry, honey," she whispered. "I don't know if I could tell you about it and keep a straight face."

Clay waited expectantly, his eyebrow still raised. He knew that she would probably tell him eventually.

Hesitantly she beckoned to him, and he bent down for her to whisper in his ear. Quietly so that no one around them could hear, she told him about the item. "One trip when he came back to visit, I happened to see what looked like an animal horn in his luggage. I thought it was probably a miniature shofar trumpet or something, so I picked it up to play it... but there was only the opening at the base. Andrew looked at me like he was about ready to die laughing at any minute... and then he showed me a picture postcard that um, explained exactly what it was to me." When Kate paused for a moment, Clay raised his eyebrow further. Kate's blush deepened. "Several adult tribal males were um, wearing it. I'm not telling you where." Kate rubbed her nose with acute embarrassment as Clay's jaw dropped open wide.

Is she serious? Clay asked himself as he continued to gape. One glance at Kate's face was all it took to know that she was quite serious. At last Clay started to chuckle. "I'm sorry, honey... It shouldn't be funny, but..."

"No," Kate shook her head, "but once you get over that initial shock it is pretty funny." She gave Clay a guilty glance. "Maybe it's that shock which helps make it so funny."

"Maybe." Clay gave his head a sharp shake. "I would have never expected that."

"Yeah." Kate frowned. "Keep in mind this is a military man..."

Immediately Clay remembered his experiences rooming with Josh Gracin during American Idol. Although Josh had been pretty laid-back as military guys went (probably due to the family influence), there was still plenty of the typical military aspect to the guy. "Say no more."

"Oo, this is a nice shirt..." Kate unfolded it to get a better look at the picture. "Now all I have to do is find it in Dad's size."

"What size do you need, honey?" Clay asked helpfully.

"In T-shirts, he wears a large."

Clay sorted through a stack until he found one. "Like this?"

"Perfect! Thank you, sweetheart!" Kate reached up to place a light peck on his cheek.

An irrepressible grin covered Clay's face - he now had his own souvenir of their time at the promenade and the pier. Anytime, honey, he sighed dreamily.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Clay scratched at the fake beard on his chin - it had been driving him nuts all afternoon, but he hadn't dared touch it down at the pier for fear of pulling it loose. "I am so ready to get this thing off..."

Kate nodded at him. "I'll get the spirit gum remover if you can find some Q-tips." Clay and Kate scattered to find the respective supplies, and met back in the kitchen to remove Clay's costume. "Which would you rather lose first, the head hair or the face hair?"

"Face," Clay told her emphatically. "I think I might be allergic to the adhesive you used."

"Oh honey..." Kate sighed and immediately dipped a Q-tip into some of the remover. Very carefully she used it to dab remover onto the edge of the beard, slowly peeling back the beard as the adhesive came loose. Kate blinked at the red patch that had been underneath the portion of fake beard she had peeled back. "Um - yeah. You're definitely allergic. If we had left this on any longer, you might have developed a rash. As it is, it's just really red."

Clay sighed with a combination of relief and annoyance - annoyance at being allergic to one more thing, but relief that they were doing something about it before the reaction became worse. "I had thought about using this disguise tomorrow, but I guess we won't."

"Mm," Kate mumbled thoughtfully. "You have a backup plan?"

"Just the bodyguards," Clay admitted. "I've already called them - we're going to have four tomorrow. I'm taking no chances."

"Kim's not going to be happy..."

Clay acknowledged that with a snort. "I'm determined to live my life. I'm not going to shut myself away just because I'm well-known."

"Brave words for a brave man," Kate told him as she pulled off the last of the beard before starting to work on removing the moustache.

"I'll still try to hide under a hat and sunglasses," Clay muttered, "but we'll have to take our chances." Within moments Kate had removed the moustache too. Slowly and very carefully she ran her fingers over his jaw and upper lip, feeling for any trace of adhesive. Clay sighed deeply, a smile creasing the corners of his mouth. I like that.

As if she sensed his thoughts, Kate blushed brilliantly. "I think I got it all," she announced quietly.

Darn, Clay thought. I'd happily put up with more of that darned adhesive if it meant she'd keep touching me like that.

Kate reached up and carefully pulled the wig off of his head. "Better close your eyes, sweetheart. Men have been traumatized with the view you'll get if you don't."

Clay gave Kate a puzzled look. "I'm sorry?"

Kate shrugged an explanation. "I'm going to stand up."

Immediately Clay understood - if he didn't shut his eyes, he would get a close and personal view of her stomach and more. Ah. Clay grinned. "I'll shut my eyes, darlin', but only because I'm a gentleman, not because I would be bothered by having you that close to me."

Another blush covered Kate's cheeks. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Clay nodded, "and you look fine." With that comment, he shut his eyes.

Kate blinked at him with surprise. Does that mean he's been looking? she wondered. Of course he had looked - he was a man, after all. Too bad I have nothing up top for him to look at. Very gingerly Kate stood up and started removing bobby pins from the front of his hair. Once all the front pins were out, she stepped closer to him and leaned over to pull the rest out of the sides and back of his hair. Kate heard the sharp intake of breath from Clay as he sensed her closer proximity to his face. But his eyes remained closed. At last Kate removed the final pin, and she carefully pulled off the hair net. Placing the net and pins on the table, she used her fingers to comb the lengths of his hair back into some semblance of order. Clay moaned slightly, and once more Kate flushed brightly. For one brief moment she imagined herself sitting on his lap and kissing him passionately. Instantly Kate shook the idea from her head - she knew the two of them would like that entirely too much. But first she needed to have that conversation with him...

When Kate sat back down opposite him, Clay slowly opened his eyes. He heaved a deep sigh. "Thank you, honey." He rubbed his once-more clean jaw. "I needed that."

"You're welcome, sweetheart." Kate smiled gently.

Clay put his hand to his stomach. "What sounds good for dinner?" he asked her.

Kate snickered. Gotta love men and their clockwork stomachs. "I hadn't thought that far."

Clay bit his lip. "For some odd reason I'm in the mood for pizza. Does that work for you?"

"Sure," Kate nodded. "We could either go out for it or have it delivered here."

"Delivery," Clay said immediately and grabbed for the nearby phone book.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Clay helped Kate clean up the pizza, plates, and pizza box in the kitchen. Although he had grumbled when she had insisted on buying tonight's meal, he let her get by with it this time. He knew if he didn't let her get it tonight, she'd keep at it until he let her buy at least one meal. This way he had his say over which one. "Thank you again for giving up the mushrooms for me."

Kate shrugged. "I'll happily give up 'shrooms on my pizza for your health. The last thing I want is for you to get sick when I could have done something to prevent it."

"Very thoughtful of you, darlin'." Clay gave her a kiss on the cheek before tossing the empty pizza box in the garbage. He scoped the kitchen, dutifully scrubbed down until all crumbs were gone. "What do we want to do next, Kate honey?"

Again Kate shrugged. "I hadn't planned anything, if that's what you mean."

"Are you in the mood to talk for a while?"

Kate smiled and nodded. "With you? Always."

No sooner than they were seated on the couch than Clay pulled Kate into his arms. She leaned back contentedly, laying her head on his shoulder as she clasped his hands close around her waist.

As they sat there holding onto each other and cuddling, they talked for hours about a little of everything... their school experiences, their careers, their families... anything and everything. The conversation even turned to some more painful experiences from both of their youths. Clay talked about things that had happened with his family, and Kate talked about some of the humiliation she had received at the hands of her school peers.

Finally Clay once more changed the subject - he wanted to talk again about something a little lighter. "Now that we're no longer trying to plan our next move," he asked Kate, "where would you want us to go in Nebraska?"

"Mmm," Kate sighed thoughtfully. "The thing about Nebraska is that our interesting attractions are all over the place - they're not all clumped together in a few choice cities, like San Francisco and Los Angeles. I already mentioned the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha - it's a really nice zoo with a lot of wonderful exhibits and habitats like the jungle and the desert biodome. We'll stay out of the aquarium though..." Clay grimaced, and Kate went on. "I already told you about the Pony Express Station, but there's a lot of other 'wild west' types of things like Buffalo Bill Cody's ranch in North Platte. Like history? There's always Pioneer Village in Minden or the Stuhr Museum in Grand Island. Like museums? We have plenty of those - Lincoln has Morrill Hall and the Children's Museum and the Museum of Roller Skating. Like something a bit more unusual? There's always Carhenge..."

Clay blinked in confusion. "Carhenge? What's that?"

"It's like Stonehenge," Kate answered, "except it's made out of old cars. Don't ask me exactly where it's at, I don't remember. My memory's trying to tell me somewhere in the northwest portion of the state..."

Clay considered Kate carefully. "You're pulling my leg."

Kate shook her head firmly. "I'm not pulling a Kevin on you - this thing's real. Real goofy, but real."

Carhenge... Clay thought to himself. That's a new one...

"Kearney has plenty to do," Kate offered, "even if we should happen to find ourselves bored on my parents' acreage."

"I thought you moved out of the country years ago," Clay told her.

"We did," Kate acknowledged. "But a few years ago my dad decided he'd had enough of city living. He bought a small acreage - nothing to do on it in the way of ranching or farming, so he doesn't have to stress out his back... but it's just enough country living to keep him happy. And it's close enough to Kearney to give Mom the taste of city living that she's used to." Kate grinned up at him. "Come Christmastime I'll see if I can't talk Dad into taking us on a sleigh ride."

"Sleigh ride??" Clay asked delightedly. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," she shook her head. "We have a couple of horses, and Dad built the sleigh himself. He keeps it in one of the sheds just for the winter. Sarah loves the sleigh." Kate sighed. "I do too."

The romantic in Clay warmed to the idea of going on a sleigh ride with Kate, followed by snuggling in front of a crackling fire afterwards. Provided that the house had a fireplace... "How big is the house?"

"Big," Kate answered. "It's a big ol' farmhouse, with four or five bedrooms. Some upstairs, some downstairs, some on the first floor. That's why Mom said yesterday that she was prepared to have a houseful for Christmas. We could probably invite your entire family and have enough room to put them up for a while." Kate chewed her lip. "It would be cozy, but we'd have the room."

Clay pondered that for a while. So is it going to be just me for Christmas, or...

Kate mused aloud. "Although there's a regional airport in Kearney, you'll probably fly into Lincoln or Omaha. If that's the case, we should probably visit my cousin Sally in Lincoln... get her to introduce you to her pastor, if you're really that serious about going on the next Haiti mission trip."

"I am serious about it," Clay told her, "if you really are serious about returning to Haiti."

"In a heartbeat."

Clay nodded. "Then sign me up."

Kate snickered. "Your public relations people are going to love you..."

Not just my public relations people, Clay mused, but my bodyguards too. "You've got that right," he snorted. "They'll find a way to twist it to their advantage. I just want to go on the mission trip. I've heard you say what an amazing, enriching experience it is, and I want to share an experience like that with you."

Kate playfully smacked his hand. "You just want to teach vacation bible school to the kids..."

Clay gave a sheepish giggle. "I won't deny that."

"Who knows where we're going this year," Kate murmured, "or what this year's building project will be. I guess we'll find out after Christmas - that's when her church starts planning the trip for that summer."

Clay nodded. I can't believe I'm already excited about this... "Refresh my memory - what was your favorite part of the trip again?"

Kate chewed her lip guiltily. "Teaching vacation bible school to the kids and leading them in songs."

Clay laughed with amusement. "You are busted, darlin'..."

"Alright, alright..." Kate grumbled. "I like kids. That's why I'm a teacher."

"I know, honey. Been there, finished my degree."

Kate grinned warmly. She had often been on the receiving end of Clay's excited stories about his final student teaching experiences as he finished up the last semester of his teaching degree. RCA had been amazingly patient as he put his music career on hold for that semester in order to complete the degree. Kate suspected that was due to the foresight and patience of Clive Davis himself. "I remember. Congratulations again, sweetheart."

Clay brushed his lips against her temple. "Thank you."

"I swear some days that my teaching experiences are on-the-job training for motherhood," Kate drawled with a scowl.

"Really," Clay said thoughtfully, hoping she would go on. "How many kids do you want to have?"

"I was thinking we'd have two or three, if that's alright with you."

We??? Clay felt the blood rush throughout his limbs as his heart sped up, and he shut his eyes. She wants to have a family with me... wow.

Completely oblivious to what she had just said, Kate shrugged. "I suppose the number's up for negotiation. I know you're used to a larger family than I am." She glanced up at Clay. "Have you given any thought to what you want to name our kids?"

There she goes again - talking about our hypothetical family. Clay knew how often he had thought about raising a family with Kate - hearing this did his heart wonders. Marveling over her faith in him, he shook his head. "As long as the names sound good with Aiken, I'm flexible."

"I'm thinking biblical names, myself. There are a lot of good names in there, especially boy names."

Clay nodded. "I like your thinking."

"You're the first one," Kate mumbled pensively to herself. "All of the other guys I've had any dates with don't take their faith seriously, don't take families seriously, don't take child-rearing seriously... don't take life seriously!"

"That bad, hm?" Clay asked. "Surely you've had at least a couple of good ones."

"Oh, no... you're the first good apple in the batch."

Clay caressed her hand. This was the first she had really talked about any past relationships - it had been an issue she had carefully and clearly avoided, except to acknowledge that there had been other dates and other boyfriends. With as good as a day as he and Kate had enjoyed today, maybe she would feel comfortable talking about it. If he was really lucky, she would be able to talk about The Subject. "Want to tell me about it?"

"I've just had really bad luck with men in general," Kate admitted. "I didn't date until college, but until I met you, they've all been losers."

Clay raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Kate sighed. "The first guy I ever had a date with was at my first college. A friend set us up, and fifteen minutes into the date I already knew I couldn't stand him. He had an ego the size of Texas." She stuck out her tongue and made a face. "I thought I could put up with that for the rest of the evening - until he hit me." Clay's eyes flared an angry green and Kate nodded. "Yeah. I told him in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going to put up with that, and I walked home. Alone."

"Wow," Clay said with a smile. "I'm glad you got out of the situation when you did."

"Yeah." Kate blew a frustrated noise out of her mouth. "Except for one little problem. Unbeknowst to me, he followed me at a distance." She grimaced. "Which meant he found out where I lived... and for the rest of the semester I put up with him stalking me because the dumb campus police wouldn't take me seriously when I told them."

Clay's jaw dropped. "What did you do?"

Kate snorted. "The only thing I felt I could do - transfer." She grinned. "Best thing I could have done. I was much happier once I did - I had some really great classes, joined the most amazing choir, got rid of dorkbrain, and I met Sarah. I'd say I came out ahead." Kate frowned. "But I still had no luck in the dating department." She shrugged. "I don't ask guys out. I'm too old-fashioned. So that means I end up waiting until a guy asks me out, or until some friend decides that I'm pitiful and that I need a date and fixes me up."

Clay made a face. "I've always hated blind dates."

Kate nodded vigorously. "So have I! I mean, how many people really know you well enough to know the kind of person you'd date?"

"Not that many people," Clay agreed. "Why do you think I haven't had a girlfriend since I was nineteen?" Kate laughed and squeezed his hand. Clay smiled and went on. "Please tell me that you had a little better luck at this school..."

"I got more dates, but that doesn't mean that they were better quality guys. Believe me, I ended up with some more real winners - though thankfully no more hitters." She snickered. "My favorite was the guy that, after three months of dating, decided that he preferred dating both genders."

Clay grimaced violently. "Oh yuck!"

Kate put her hand on his arm. "It gets better! Not only did he decide that, he decided he wanted to... um, take our relationship to the, uh... 'next level' while... um..." As Clay continued to make horrified faces, Kate bit her lip and fidgeted while she debated the most delicate way to say it. "While he um..." After a moment Kate decided that there was no dignified way to say it. "While he 'experimented' with his new lifestyle." Clay clapped his hand over his mouth like he was going to be sick, and Kate nodded. "Yeah. That was my first thought... my second was to tell him exactly what he could do with that idea."

Clay shook his head in amazement. "How did you end up with these people?"

"You've got me," Kate mumbled. "My mom told me that I always was too nice... and these um, winning guys would just sort of latch on to my sweet and accepting nature, and I couldn't ever seem to get rid of them! The problem with having these guys around was that it always scared away the men of good character, because I never did seem to connect up with one of those."

"Let me guess," Clay began. "When you were a child you were always bringing home stray cats and dogs and all sorts of wild animals asking your mother, 'Can I keep it?'"

Kate gave Clay a bewildered look. "What does that have to do with men and dating?"

"Helpless stray animals," Clay shrugged, "helpless stray men."

"Clay Aiken!" Kate howled, agape. "I am shocked that you would say such a thing!" She shook her finger at him. "That comment does not exactly flatter you either, mister."

"I never said I was a catch," Clay acknowledged with an embarrassed giggle.

"You won't..." Kate reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "But I will."

"Thank you so much, honey. You're a beautiful, amazing woman, and I am so lucky to have you in my life." As she blushed, Clay smiled and gently caressed her face. "I can see now why you're a bit wary of men." He frowned. "But I don't understand how any of that would cause your nightmares."

"It wouldn't," Kate acknowledged, turning away. She took a deep breath and exhaled it very slowly. Clearly it was time to tell Clay what bothered her so much about physical intimacy... what made her so afraid of it. "I need to tell you about what happened to me during the semester Sarah and I spent in Germany. For the most part we had an amazing time - meeting new people, seeing interesting places, doing all sorts of things. I try to remember the good times we had sightseeing in Germany and learning at the university there in Mannheim rather than the events that happened towards the end of our stay there... the events that nearly ruined my life." Clay sat up attentively, his eyes focused sharply on Kate. She swallowed a lump in her throat. I don't know if I can do this, she thought, but I have to. He has to know the truth. Very slowly she went on. "About a month into our stay there Sarah and I discovered that we needed time on our own. There is such a thing as too much togetherness, even for best friends. Although Sarah's not one of those wild and crazy sort of girls, she has that streak on occasion... and I don't. I'm pretty sedate compared to Sarah..." She paused thoughtfully. Clay nodded, somehow knowing that he shouldn't interrupt her. "I have always liked to be safe... secure. I think that is because I grew up that way in my little sheltered life. Somehow I thought that by leading a nice, calm, cautious if a little boring sort of lifestyle I would stay safe." She snorted. "Yeah, right."

"Our routine," Kate continued, "was to the point where she would go out on Friday nights and I would tutor a remedial English section at the university. I helped them with their English skills; they helped me with my German. The second to last week of the semester," Kate said, her voice shaking slightly, "a guy in one of my tutoring sessions asked me for a special session. He told me he had a new job and wouldn't be able to make it to the regular time. Since I had been working with him for several weeks I thought it would be okay. He seemed trustworthy and nice, so I thought it would be no big deal and told him I'd meet him at my campus apartment after he got off work."

"I thought it would be fine. Sarah was normally home by then. But when I got to the apartment that night, there was a message from Sarah saying she'd be a little late - she'd met a classmate of ours and was staying to talk for a while. She didn't want me to worry about her if she was about half an hour late. I didn't really think about myself though, because I knew Sarah wasn't going to be too late. After all, what could happen in a half an hour?" Kate continued impersonally, blocking out her emotions from that night. She told Clay how normal everything had seemed when Viktor had arrived, and then how it changed in a split second when Viktor had forced a kiss on her, and then... Viktor had possessed a very wrong idea about Kate, believing that all American girls wanted, well, not what Kate wanted.

"He was so much bigger - probably bigger than you and me put together. I tried to fight him, but I couldn't get him off of me." Her voice trembled as she recounted the next events of that night, moment by moment, until she got to the end. "I fought and I screamed and I screamed and I fought until I didn't think I could scream or fight any more. I steeled myself for what was about to happen, closed my eyes and prayed. God heard me, He had to have - because less than an instant later, Sarah was there. She'd heard my screams from the stairs, came up them on a dead run and slammed the door when she came in." Kate gave a wicked smile. "Sarah may only be five-two, but she is a force to reckon with when you make her mad - and that night she scared the living daylights out of him. He got off me pretty quick, and I rolled to the floor and curled up into a little ball." She turned to Clay. "Have you ever wanted to just completely disappear? Vanish from existence?" When he nodded, she continued, very quietly. "I did at that moment." Without a word Clay took her hand and held it between his. Kate smiled gently, reassured by this simple gesture of comfort and support. "As I lay there, I heard this... pounding sound. I was scared that he had attacked Sarah, so I opened my eyes. Imagine my surprise when I saw Viktor doubled over - she'd racked him! And then Sarah pushed him down the stairs. I've never been so happy to see Sarah in my entire life."

She continued, less tense now, telling Clay about the arrest and trial. "Sarah took care of everything. She called the police and the American Embassy. Viktor was arrested and put on trial. He was convicted of my attempted rape and six completed rapes throughout Germany. He'd been posing as a student at various universities, luring female tutors into situations where he could be alone with them. They wanted me to testify, but I couldn't. I broke down on the stand. Sarah ended up giving the clearest, most vehement and most damaging testimony. The defense had nearly succeeded in painting the victims as women of questionable repute who lured a young man with learning challenges into situations where they could take advantage of him. Then Sarah spoke. She told them what I was really like, and that I wouldn't have done that." Kate gave a slight, gentle smile. "That night and for a while thereafter she was my angel. Sarah was my rescuing, avenging guardian angel - and I'll never forget everything she's done for me." She shrugged and went on. "After the trial we came home. We graduated and got jobs in Kearney."

Angry fire flashed in Clay's eyes, making them sparkle brighter than emeralds. "It's a good thing he's already in jail, because if he wasn't..." His jaw worked as he tried to come up with the words he wanted. "...there's no telling what I'd do to him for hurting you. Believe me, I would not want to be accountable for my actions if that sorry excuse for a man were still out there loose."

Kate gaped incredulously. H-he... accepts... "Y-you don't hate me for - "

Clay shook his head, gently touching her face. "Honey, no. I could never hate you for that, never, never. You never asked for that, you never wanted it. It was not your fault, in no way possible was it your fault." He winced. "I'm sorry - I interrupted your train of thought. Go on."

As Clay sat beside her, Kate's head swam with amazement. Wow. He still believes in me. He... still wants to be with me. Wow. Kate paused for a long moment, trying to gather her thoughts. With a sigh, she finally spoke again. "In some ways teaching has been therapeutic, almost like a lifeline. Knowing Sarah is around helps a lot - but having her as a roommate makes me feel safer somehow." She shook her head numbly. "But I haven't faced it very well yet." She snorted. "Who am I kidding? I haven't faced it at all... just tried to shove the memories out of my mind and lied to Sarah and my parents about not having any more nightmares. I haven't gotten the courage to move to a different place or to let Sarah find a different place... even though we could both probably afford our own. I guess I'm still afraid... afraid of 'what-ifs'. I still can't believe I misjudged him so badly - I'm usually a pretty good judge of character." Kate chewed her lip. "Now you know why I have the nightmares." She sighed once before continuing again. "Yesterday morning I promised Sarah I would finally get some help, finally talk to someone about this. I'll probably end up seeing some shrink..." Kate made a sour face, but it was clear her heart wasn't in it. "But I know I have to do it. I want to do it." She turned back to Clay, her eyes filled with tears. "You are way too important to me. And having a healthy relationship with you is too important to me for me to neglect this any longer." Unable to keep her emotions back any longer, Kate burst into tears.

"Oh, Kate honey..." With tears running down his own face Clay immediately embraced her, enveloping her in the warmth and assurance of his arms. He held her tightly, and she clung to him, as they both wept together for the innocence that was nearly lost.

At last they pulled slightly apart, gazing at each other's tear-stained faces. Kate gave Clay a weak smile as she reached up to wipe the remnants of the tears from his cheeks. "I didn't mean to do that do you, sweetheart. I'm sorry," she apologized. Kate bit her lip. "For some odd reason I... I've been afraid that if I ever told you, you'd hate me or something... you wouldn't want to be with me any more."

Clay felt like his heart was going to break at her words. "No, honey. I could never hate you, certainly not for that." He took her face in both his hands. "I am not about to judge you for something in your past that was so completely out of your control." Kate shuddered violently, and Clay frowned. "Does it make you uncomfortable when I touch you like this?"

"No," Kate shook her head. "I was merely reacting to the memories. But your touch doesn't make me uncomfortable at all - if anything, I'm very comfortable with you. It somehow seems very natural, even second nature, to receive affection from you, and to show it to you in return." She reached up and gave his hair a simple light caress before continuing. "I trust you, Clay, in a way I haven't been able to trust any man before that night or since. I... can't explain it, sweetheart, but I just do." Kate looked into his eyes. "I find you very real, very sincere, and entirely trustworthy, and I've felt that way since the first moment I saw you on the airwaves. Don't ask me to explain, because it defies explanation. It's just something I sense about you."

Slowly Clay closed his eyes, overcome by this expression of her faith in him. How is it, Lord, that I am blessed with such an amazing woman as this? He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

"Clay," Kate began nervously, "w-would you kiss me?"

Clay looked at her, clearly surprised. His eyes warred with conflicting emotions - it was obvious how badly he wanted to kiss her, but it was also obvious how much he wanted to consider her feelings and not hurt her. Especially after what she had just shared with him. Briefly he studied her eyes before speaking. "Are you sure that's what you really want?"

Kate looked him directly in the eye. It baffled her how she could want something so much and be terrified of it at the same time. But it only took her an instant to make her choice. "Please," she begged him with a voiceless whisper.

Continuing to meet her eye for another moment, Clay gave her one more opportunity to change her mind. At last he slowly leaned in towards her, letting his breath dance on her lips before gently claiming them with his own. Entirely too soon for his taste, Clay pulled back from the kiss. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her now.

Kate smiled slightly. "I liked that."

"Did you?" Clay asked with a smile of his own. He gently caressed Kate's cheek with his thumb. "I know I did."

"My biggest regret," Kate admitted shyly, "is that it wasn't long enough."

Clay's jaw trembled, and Kate could see in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her more. He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. "Kate honey... what you shared with me tonight helps me to see why it is that you admit you don't trust men, and why you take kissing so seriously. You've been hurt badly, and it's going to take a long time for you to heal." He opened his eyes back up and continued to stroke her cheek. "You need to know that there are men you can trust... and I want you to know that I am one of those whom you can trust to honor and cherish you and not hurt you like that. But you can't just take my word for it - you need me to show it to you. I want to prove to you that you can trust me." Clay bit his lip as he took both of her hands in his. "I promise that I am not going to initiate any more kisses tonight. That was the only one. But I do want to hold you and cuddle with you a while..." he shrugged thoughtfully, "... and if you should choose to kiss me, that is entirely up to you."

Kate blinked, her jaw dropping slightly. "Wha...?" she asked, wildly curious.

"I am giving you complete control of the situation," he offered. "If all we do is cuddle, fine. If you should choose to kiss me, that is fine... as much or as little as you want to kiss me, that is fine with me."

A smile slowly crossed Kate's face. "All right..."

The two of them laid down side by side on the couch, with Kate nestled snuggly in Clay's arms and her arm draped across his chest. With a deep, contented sigh, he made lazy circles on her back with the fingers on his upper hand. After several minutes Kate pushed herself up on one elbow, and Clay met her eye with a smile as he continued to trace patterns on her back. "Have I told you lately," Clay said quietly, "how beautiful you are?"

Kate's eyes sparkled. "Only a little while ago... but I'll let you say it again."

Clay chuckled. The silence drew out, and he continued to gaze up at her and into her warm eyes. This could be a lot harder than I realized, he admitted to himself.

Very cautiously Kate reached up towards his glasses. With great care she removed them from his face and placed them on the nearby table. As Clay blinked to readjust his eyes, Kate removed her own glasses and placed them with Clay's. Once that task was done, Kate returned her attention to him. Clay met her gaze and knew instantly that she was going to take him up on his offer. "Your pace, darlin'," he whispered to her. A slight smile turned the corner of her mouth, and she bent to place a slow, tender kiss on his jaw. Clay sighed and closed his eyes - he was in heaven.

But she was just getting started. Kate continued to place those deliberate, moist kisses on his jaw, his cheeks, his brow, his eyes - all over - until she had kissed almost every inch of his face. A tingling warmth crept down from Clay's head towards his toes as she revisited some of those same spots again. For just the briefest of moments he had the thought that she was teasing him. Clay wondered how much more he could take before he lost what little willpower he had left. He would soon find out as Kate turned her attentions to his neck, alternating affectionate kisses with the occasional nip. Ohhh my... he thought, stifling the urge to moan. He was having a serious fight with his hormones now.

Kate shifted slightly, and Clay felt her warm breath on his lips. In spite of how much he wanted to kiss her NOW he made no move. Very delicately Kate touched her lips lightly to his. But she did not kiss him. Instead she traced the outline of his lips with her own, first with her top one then with the bottom. This time Clay did moan. He clutched onto the edges of the couch with both hands in order to hold himself back from taking her in his arms and kissing her with passionate abandon.

As if sensing his inner struggle, Kate turned the tracing motions into a slow, unhurried kiss on his lips. Maintaining his death grip on the couch, Clay drank it in with the same deliberate, lingering manner. Gradually Kate deepened the kiss until finally Clay couldn't take it any more. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer without breaking the kiss. After several moments of that Kate paused to catch her breath while Clay peppered her face with ardent kisses. He stopped just short of her lips, held back only by the fleeting memory of a promise that he did not want to break. All too happy to oblige him, Kate captured his lips with an intensity that surprised even Clay. When the two were once again left breathless, Clay pulled her close to his heart in an emotional embrace. "Kate," he panted, his voice a low whisper, "I think we should stop there while I have any self-control left." He felt, rather than saw, her nod and knew she was pleased with his request.

Clay's mind continued to race at the same breakneck speed as his heart had just moments before, revisiting the conversation they had shared earlier that night. Some deeply personal subjects had been brought out on the table, and both had come away with a deeper appreciation for the struggles and the strengths of the other person. It was a good thing that this Viktor character was no longer a part of Kate's world - Clay had a feeling that his temper would get the best of him if he ever met Viktor. Somehow he had a suspicion that he would try to beat the tar out of the man in spite of the fact that Kate said Viktor was substantially bigger than he was. Maybe now with the truth out in the open and Clay by her side, Kate would finally start to see some healing. Just the fact that she had chosen to tell him was a good sign - it showed that she did trust him. He released a deep, contented sigh as they held tightly on to each other. He knew he was going to sleep quite well tonight.

A while later Kim entered the living room on her way to the kitchen. She stole a glance at the couple on the couch in an attempt to discern if she was disturbing anything. Realizing that she saw no movement, she crept closer. Kim's jaw slowly dropped as she saw the two of them wrapped up snugly in each other's arms. They're sound asleep. Not having the heart to wake them, Kim walked to the hall closet and pulled out a blanket. Shaking it out, she placed the blanket over the entwined pair. With a sentimental grin, she walked back to her own room to enjoy the rest of her quiet evening.

Go to the next day, Day 5

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