Ashley's Antics

"GREAT site. Mum and i had a excellent time.
please contact us. Lee Sue and (psycho) Ashley "

NOTE: Upon reading the entry in the guestbook it was not immediately clear that I knew this person. I thought Lee Sue was perhaps Asian. I did think it cute that one of them was called Ashley. Now of course, I realise that Psycho is her nickname. :)

Wednesday, November 4 1998

She has wrecked 8 of the plastic cords that attach the vertical drapes to each other, left scratches and gouge marks in the wall in my bedroom where she tries to get out. I'm not sure how I'll fix that. At least the owner nows I'm catsitting.

I fractured the proximal bone in my little toe on my right foot about 2weeks ago, later the same day that beautiful loving feline ran between my legs (like she has a habit of doing) and I lost my balance and ended up snapping my proximal bone in half. Shit it hurt. I've decided if that is how bad it hurts breaking a little bone, I never want to break anything bigger.

But Ashley or Odie 11 as she is known is a very loving cat, she likes to nuzzle around my head any hour of night, I sometimes get the shits with her especially when I first broke my toe. I couldn't stand to have any sheets or blankets on it so I left it on top of the bed of hanging out the side. It didn't matter to Ash where I put my foot, to her it was fair game to walk on, attack, lick, bite, sit or sleep on. Odie 1 is feeling left out as I can't take him for a walk and if Ash wants a cuddle she just jumps up and helps herself, whereas Odie stands and waits to be asked. Now he will often turn his back on me even if I call him, I think it's called sulking."

NOTE: Odie is her 11yr old mini poodle and the email was signed "Sue Lee of the Province of Mt Fugi" after I had told her of my earlier confusion.

P.S. to the previous Email.

Thursday November 5 1998

I can't take Odie for a walk yet my toe is still a little too swollen, and it aches when I walk too much. We have tried taking Miss Ashley for a walk on her lead a few times with no success at all, she just hates that lead. It is entertaining watching her try to get away from it.

I gave hugs and kisses were you asked. Miss Ashley farted in my face, I must have squeezed her a little too tight when I picked her up, that happens often."

Friday November 13 1998

Weeell, I'll love you and leave you know, as I don't want to give you too much to read this time. Hurry up and write me a letter. It would be OK if I received mail from someone else, but I don't so get a wriggle on won't you. This is my social life.

See ya, oops Ms Ashley is back and she is stretching up to my neck....HELP...

Hmm, I'm looking through the "big" letter to see what I have written about her in there. Ah, yes, Ms Ashley continues to entertain us. Late last night (or could have been early in the am), Lee could hear her playing with something but couldn't work out what it was. He could hear sounds like plop and splat, it had him intrigued. He finally tracked her down and she had stolen one of Odies 8" long thin sausage from his tea early in the evening and he thinks she was trying to kill it. She had one end in her mouth and was flinging from one side to the other, splat, plop. That entertained Lee for ages. Odie eats very little these days, he has been sick so she helps herself if no-one is looking.

She has had several sewing lessons lately, on the machine and hand. She has obviously become proficient at it as she shows me how I should guide the material through the needle on the machine. A couple of times she has pulled her paw away very quickly and kept it to herself for a while, I don't know if she felt the pressure of the arm that holds the needle going up and down or the actual needle itself. When I sew I have to keep one hand cupped behind the sewing area to keep her away from the needle.

I was busy ironing the shirt I made to sew ready to attach the buttons, when this grey thing landed on top of the shirt, she is very lucky she wasn't ironed flat.

Her favourite resting place is the dining room table. We used to have a spare table in the lounge room but since it has gone the dining table is it. I don't like animals on the table but it is impossible to keep her off. The top of the table is like a pandoras box of playthings. I caught her soundly sleeping on my sewing, a couple of days ago and she had obviously been playing with the pins and they were all over and under her while she slept. I have had to search the floor for my bobbin - it rolls well and is good fun to play with, sewing pencil, anything that is fair game.

Oh, the hand sewing I was doing the other day, was repairing the macrame string basket that used to be grandmas', and every time I pulled the needle through she would attack the string (I was sewing with string).

She has/had a tendency to fall off things or lose her balance. The workmen have that orange mesh stuff out the front of my place to keep people out of the work area. Ms Ashley decided to inspect the area on the other side and jumped up on to a very narrow area and couldn't keep her balance and fell, her claws clung to the mesh on the way down, she turned to see if some one was there to help her and meowed when she saw me. So picture it, this grey bit of fluff hanging on for dear life, looking imploringly at me, I just said, "unsheath your claws and let go you goose", and hey, she let go.

I was having a cuppa out the back at 5am today when I suddenly heard a commotion on the left fence, she just stood there staring at me as though to put me in a trance - "Don't tell a soul you saw that". She had obviously lost her footing and fell off the fence, or hasn't really learnt how to climb down fences with finesse, yet.

She regularly rests (sleeps) in high places and rolls to get comfortable and falls off. It is hilarious to see her roll off the table whilst asleep and claw at anything on the way down, she will often be hanging off the side of the table, by her claws all, stretched out, meowing for help, then just dropping and continuing as though she had nothing to do with it. It is sooooo funny to see.

LOL... thats all for now. Stay tuned for more episodes.

Tuesday November 17 1998

Ever since Ms Ashley has been with us, Jaydene (my oldest niece) has gone on and on and on about cats having to be bathed, monthly. So on sunday, whilst I was away, that is just what she did to poor Ms Ashley, on her own. Did not think about being scratched or any thing else. Apparently she managed to bath her, but Lee was saying that he did hear her yelling at Ashley because she scratched her. UH DUH!!!!

She couldn't dry her so Ms Ashley was running around - looking anorexic - the hilarious part came when she looked at her tail (which, according to Lee, looked like a skinny stick), she was absolutely terrified of her own tail and kept trying to get away from it. I can't remember all the things that Lee said, so you will have to use your imagination. I haven't spoken to Jaydene since about her side of the telling, will let you know what she has to say.

I'm not doing very well today, as I am operating on limited sleep. Ms Ashley kept me awake most of the night by trying to climb up my bookshelf and out the window. Monday night we found her outside at night, and Lee carried on like a pork chop about me having let her out. We are all very careful when we use any door as we know who is racing us to the door all the time.

Tonight when I came home from dancing, Odie was outside on his own and was very happy to see me. Lee had let him out to the toilet and forgotten about him. When he heard a scratching on the door he thought it was Ms Ashley and squirted her with water, not thinking of Odie at all. Lee then told me that houdini had found a way out, again, so he went looking and could not find it. Did a second round and found that the window in my room that she had been frantically trying to get to all last night, she had pushed the mesh out but it was left in such a way that you could not tell. So now I will have to keep my window closed at night. That would be ok of it was winter, but it is very muggy at present, also very hot during the day.

I can walk now without a limp, so I thought I might try taking Ms Ashley for a walk on her lead. When I come home in the car Ms Ashley walks over to the car to greet me, and if she is outside when I leave, I have to be careful as she has started getting in the car, or standing close and staring at me, or she lies under the car.

It is getting hard to keep my eyes open. Ms Ashley is enjoying a sleep on the computer table to my right, and Odie is on my left asleep on a chair, they both compete to see who can get the closest. Dam, Ms Ashley just rolled over onto the mouse and part of the keyboard, I had all sorts of things happen, but I'm back now.

Wednesday November 18 1998

Sitting around the side in her favorite place she sat and licked herself until she spoted this strange snake like thing behind her and freak out jumped in the air and ran, she looked back to see if it was gone and it seemed to be following her and freaking out every time she turned around looking from one side to the other she just couldn't get away from it. It was her tail, Lee and I caught her and blow dried her till she was fluffy and could finally recognise her tail. The ordeal didn't affect her at all because she was back to paying out on Odie again pretty soon after. She likes to hide under the chair he is sitting in and sticks her paw up and bashes him around the head and ears.

Sunday November 22 1998

Last night she could not get out anywhere, and had my door closed so both her and Odie could keep Jaydene awake instead of me. Come 4am I was woken by a constant loud meow and scratching at my door, someone wanted in at all costs. She had that "I want my mummy" meow. I was half asleep and went to the toot, but she wasn't waiting till I got back to bed to snuggle up, she jumped up whilst I was on the loo, stretched up and started nuzzling in my hair. By the time I got back to my bed she was already on my pillow, purring away. She eventually gave up as she could not find anything nourishing on my head or neck. She then goes to "spot", she likes to sleep on my chair at my desk.